Being authentic as a neurodivergent person can be unattractive to others and oneself

[Ima Freeman]

Just had the insight that neurodivergent behaviour is unattractive to other people and even oneself.

The neurotic behaviour, the nervous laughter, the restlessness, etc....

 

Although, off course, it can be attractive too. People like weirdness, stimulation etc...

 

Being authentic or controlled, or both depending on context. What is wise here?

[Jirh]

I love it.

[Yimpa]

I was ugly when I was masking as a normie. 

I live in a stage green environment and blend in so that obviously helps.

[Basman]

Humans tend to feel that if your negative in any kind of way it is because of them. Its kind of like when you stare a monkey in the eyes. It ticks them off. Being uncomfortable is a major hurdle for autistic rizz. Another is a lack of interest in the person you are talking to. 

Passion and sincerity is charming regardless of who its from, which autistis should naturally be good at. Social calibration is a skill issue. Go read The Charisma Myth. It was written by a sperg.

[Lyubov]

You put too much energy into caring what other people think about you. 

[Yimpa]

2 hours ago, Lyubov said:

You put too much energy into caring what other people think about you. 

It's not merely about caring, it's about survival. And not merely about my survival, but also about their survival.

I would easily be murdered, bullied, harassed, and beaten in many parts of the world today.

There are even forum users and lurkers on here who have fantasies of doing that to me as I speak.

People who are sheep and part of a large herd so that they blend in don't have to care as much.

Edited 6 hours ago by Yimpa

[Joseph Maynor]

I find this to be kind of sad.  To not be authentic to me causes a lot of suffering.  Once I stopped trying to be someone I'm not, a lot of stress fell away for me.

[Yimpa]

3 minutes ago, Joseph Maynor said:

I find this to be kind of sad.  To not be authentic to me causes a lot of suffering.  Once I stopped trying to be someone I'm not, a lot of stress fell away for me.

[Joshe]

Let your freak flag fly. There will be many who don’t like it.p, but it filters for the people who do.

[Joseph Maynor]

One thing that does require a degree of masking is when you are at work.  There is a professionalism required usually at work, which is a kind of mask that most people even normies wear at work.

[Ulax]

1 hour ago, Yimpa said:

It's not merely about caring, it's about survival. And not merely about my survival, but also about their survival.

I would easily be murdered, bullied, harassed, and beaten in many parts of the world today.

There are even forum users and lurkers on here who have fantasies of doing that to me as I speak.

People who are sheep and part of a large herd so that they blend in don't have to care as much.

[Yimpa]

6 minutes ago, Ulax said:

 

[Ima Freeman]

2 hours ago, Yimpa said:

It's not merely about caring, it's about survival. And not merely about my survival, but also about their survival.

I would easily be murdered, bullied, harassed, and beaten in many parts of the world today.

There are even forum users and lurkers on here who have fantasies of doing that to me as I speak.

People who are sheep and part of a large herd so that they blend in don't have to care as much.

I think it makes a big difference if you are a man or woman in that context.

There are different expectations upon you, people will treat you differently for many reasons.

[Yimpa]

Unicorn  

[Ulax]

1 hour ago, Yimpa said:

 

[Joseph Maynor]

3 hours ago, Yimpa said:

It's not merely about caring, it's about survival. And not merely about my survival, but also about their survival.

I would easily be murdered, bullied, harassed, and beaten in many parts of the world today.

There are even forum users and lurkers on here who have fantasies of doing that to me as I speak.

People who are sheep and part of a large herd so that they blend in don't have to care as much.

Nobody wants to hurt you.  

[YIDIRYIDIR]

On 9/26/2026 at 4:21 AM, Ima Freeman said:

Just had the insight that neurodivergent behaviour is unattractive to other people and even oneself.

The neurotic behaviour, the nervous laughter, the restlessness, etc....

 

Although, off course, it can be attractive too. People like weirdness, stimulation etc...

 

Being authentic or controlled, or both depending on context. What is wise here?

Instead of seeing it as "Being authentic leads to rejection" 
see it this way: "being authentic, no matter your nature, creates polarization." in one hand, it makes certain people dislike you and ignore you. on the other, it allows for deep connection with "your people". 

This is not just a principle in psychology, it is also in so many areas like business and branding for example. that's why business gurus preach "being authentic and vulnerable" when it comes to your personal brand online, because that gets you to deeply connect with the right people and build trust. 

that's also why the hyper famous people like most celebrities or big youtubers like mrbeast don't have fans that connect with them, they rather have viewers and metrics, because that's what they optimize for. unlike celebrities like Taylor swift who has an almost cult like audience, but the majority of people don't listen to her songs. i'm personally not a fan of her, but that's not a bug, it's a feature of authenticity. you can't get validation from everybody.

that's also why Leo is still running actualized.org after more than a decade even if he's not that consistent in recent years, he built a fanbase that connects with him so deep to a point where he doesn't need to constantly market himself. because of how authentic and true to himself he is (also that's why most people don't know him, ignore him or think he's insane)

i recommend you watch this Ted talk about vulnerability, and read her book "the gifts of imperfection"

 

Edited 1 hour ago by YIDIRYIDIR