Less masturbation = easier approaching ?

[Jannes]

Its not just masturbation but the whole easy dopamine system you allow yourself. When you deny yourself all that easy access, its not just that you are more motivated to get it, your mind will reavaluate the situation and will unlock more resources in the form of confidence in you, because it is sensing that the current unrisky approach to things isnt getting you enough dopamine/ survival shit. Thats at least my thesis on it. 

Not sure about less masturbation in particular, I denied myself mostly everything around it so the described mechanism kicked in and I accessed more confidence which I needed to connect with other people to get the dopamine. I compensated my compensation strategies with the real thing eheh.

And you can only jerk off a couple times a day, its not the biggest soure of mind numbing input you consume in a day. 

[something_else]

I really don't understand the nofap thing. Maybe for some people it works, but for me it just makes me less focused, more horny, and more desperate.

If your confidence is so fragile that jerking off makes it vanish then you're not really that confident deep down. All of the most confident guys you've ever met in your life probably jerk off on the regular.

[Leo Gura]

Confidence comes from experience and skill, not gimmickry.

Edited Sunday at 08:38 PM by Leo Gura

[Lyubov]

You're optimizing the wrong stuff when you focus on nofap and whatnot. If you need to learn game and pick up, if it isn't effortless for you or you don't have some super chad foundation... then chances are you have a good bit of emotional inner work, self esteem and inner child work, inherent value awakening work, etc and you will probably have to socialize a lot understand the terrain. If porn and fapping is an issue for you obviously yeah that could be it's own pathology or unhealthy coping mechanism but generally speaking you don't need to give something like that so much thought. 

[AION]

Seducing girls is such a steep skill for most guys that you need that horniness to plow through it.
 

If you have trouble with your libido or you are nutting all the time you simply won’t have the motivation to go through the rejection, emotional labor and hassle.
 

 

Edited Monday at 12:37 AM by AION

[Hasson_Miah]

@Olaf Hehe. 

My success rate is 100%. 

The first time I tried this I told her directly ''I want to make out'' we've been together ever since. 

[Leo Gura]

2 hours ago, AION said:

Seducing girls is such a steep skill for most guys that you need that horniness to plow through it.

I don't think horniness is a deep enough motivation. Personal development is the correct motivation.

If I did pickup for the sex, it wasn't worth the effort by a long shot. But my development is worth any effort.

Edited Monday at 02:45 AM by Leo Gura

[AION]

@Leo Gura I agree. Self love as motivation is even better because it fuels self development.  Now I think about it too much horniness scares girls off. But some weekends I need libido to go out. If I don’t have libido I won’t go out. 

Edited Monday at 01:15 AM by AION

[Joshe]

On 9/12/2026 at 7:45 PM, Leo Gura said:

Haha! If only it were that easy.

You will still have AA.

Horniness is a definitely a kind of motivation. The only problem is that you are motivated by sex all the time. And then what do you do after you have sex? You lose your motivation?

Being motivated by horniness, you will also make bad decisions.

Agree. If anything, horniness will fuck you up. It seems like stockpiling excitement for 3 months before you skydive like a madman out of a plane. The anxious energy is still there. The solution to the anxious energy is to forget about it and just be playful. Imagine if you didn't run like a madman out the plane door and instead walked out playfully. Much better. 

Edited Monday at 01:25 AM by Joshe

[Joshe]

Although, you're flirting with not being able to get your dick up, which isn't good. The last thing you want is to eat some strange cat just to save face.

Edited Monday at 03:45 AM by Joshe

[Joshe]

Actually, it's probably best to go out with a hard rod tucked into your waistband. 

Edited Monday at 01:36 AM by Joshe

[aurum]

Overall I feel like abstaining is beneficial if I'm serious about going out.

But you do need to be careful about thinking too much with your dick. If you just let your dick run the show, you can make stupid decisions.

Dick gets a voice, not the final say.

[Inliytened1]

16 hours ago, aurum said:

Overall I feel like abstaining is beneficial if I'm serious about going out.

But you do need to be careful about thinking too much with your dick. If you just let your dick run the show, you can make stupid decisions.

Dick gets a voice, not the final say.

If we let it run the show we'd all be six feet under by now.  No..I'd say an 80/20 split. I won't say which has the 80 😀

Edited Monday at 06:47 PM by Inliytened1

[BlessedLion]

On 9/13/2026 at 9:08 PM, Jannes said:

Not sure about less masturbation in particular, I denied myself mostly everything around it so the described mechanism kicked in and I accessed more confidence which I needed to connect with other people to get the dopamine. I compensated my compensation strategies with the real thing eheh.

Definitely. I actually cut out the wifi in my house and live in bali so there's no "using data" i have found this to be absolutely pivotal to my levels of focus and drive. I have success with the feminine in one form or another almost every time i leave my house, no joke, it's actually quite astounding. I only have internet connection at cafes where i usually just write for my youtube channel so all scrolling, porn, texting, internet surfing has been replaced with reading, yoga, music and rest, so when i do go out the "dopamine hit" of putting myself out there and meeting women is almost second nature and done with little hesitation. Couple that with not allowing myself to nut unless it's with an actual woman and it's all supercharged

[BlessedLion]

On 9/14/2026 at 4:14 AM, something_else said:

I really don't understand the nofap thing. Maybe for some people it works, but for me it just makes me less focused, more horny, and more desperate.

If your confidence is so fragile that jerking off makes it vanish then you're not really that confident deep down. All of the most confident guys you've ever met in your life probably jerk off on the regular.

To each his own. I've found semen retention and sexual cultivation to be one of the most powerful practices i can implement as a man. And it's not like if i jerk off all confidence dissapears, it's more the principle of it. I just don't do that. 

If it's making you feel desperate/excessively horny/wired you are likely not sublimating the energy. Practices like yoga or chi gong or such can help with this, most people don't know about this essential second part of the nofap equation.

[BlessedLion]

On 9/14/2026 at 4:38 AM, Leo Gura said:

Confidence comes from experience and skill, not gimmickry.

It also comes from self esteem, self esteem is a core pillar of confidence, and if you wank it to only fans all day i would imagine that hurts your self respect. It would for me at least. It would make me less powerful when talking to real women the next day. I feel weird watching another man have sex with a woman im attracted to, there is something kinda fucked up about it, i don't think it's natural

[BlessedLion]

On 9/14/2026 at 9:02 AM, Leo Gura said:

I don't think horniness is a deep enough motivation. Personal development is the correct motivation.

If I did pickup for the sex, it wasn't worth the effort by a long shot. But my development is worth any effort.

Learning how to talk to woman and attract them while also maintaining integrity is probably one of the most powerful personal development routines, it teaches you so much

[BlessedLion]

On 9/14/2026 at 10:41 AM, aurum said:

If you just let your dick run the show, you can make stupid decisions.

Most guys are completely run by their sexual energy, they have no control over it. A sexual urge comes, and it's straight to the Hub, like a mouse pushing a button for a hit of dopamine.

I mean just look at this forum, the majority of you can't even fathom not touching your dicks for a week lol. 

I do think there can be a healthy relationship to porn, but it's like having a healthy relationship to your monthly cocaine night. I think most guys are addicted and don't know it. 

Edited 17 hours ago by BlessedLion

[aurum]

12 hours ago, BlessedLion said:

Most guys are completely run by their sexual energy, they have no control over it. A sexual urge comes, and it's straight to the Hub, like a mouse pushing a button for a hit of dopamine.

I mean just look at this forum, the majority of you can't even fathom not touching your dicks for a week lol. 

I do think there can be a healthy relationship to porn, but it's like having a healthy relationship to your monthly cocaine night. I think most guys are addicted and don't know it. 

Yeah, it’s very challenging to balance.

Having a greater vision of what you care about in life can help.