Less masturbation = easier approaching ?

[Jannes]

Its not just masturbation but the whole easy dopamine system you allow yourself. When you deny yourself all that easy access, its not just that you are more motivated to get it, your mind will reavaluate the situation and will unlock more resources in the form of confidence in you, because it is sensing that the current unrisky approach to things isnt getting you enough dopamine/ survival shit. Thats at least my thesis on it. 

Not sure about less masturbation in particular, I denied myself mostly everything around it so the described mechanism kicked in and I accessed more confidence which I needed to connect with other people to get the dopamine. I compensated my compensation strategies with the real thing eheh.

And you can only jerk off a couple times a day, its not the biggest soure of mind numbing input you consume in a day. 

[something_else]

I really don't understand the nofap thing. Maybe for some people it works, but for me it just makes me less focused, more horny, and more desperate.

If your confidence is so fragile that jerking off makes it vanish then you're not really that confident deep down. All of the most confident guys you've ever met in your life probably jerk off on the regular.

[Leo Gura]

Confidence comes from experience and skill, not gimmickry.

Edited 5 hours ago by Leo Gura

[Lyubov]

You're optimizing the wrong stuff when you focus on nofap and whatnot. If you need to learn game and pick up, if it isn't effortless for you or you don't have some super chad foundation... then chances are you have a good bit of emotional inner work, self esteem and inner child work, inherent value awakening work, etc and you will probably have to socialize a lot understand the terrain. If porn and fapping is an issue for you obviously yeah that could be it's own pathology or unhealthy coping mechanism but generally speaking you don't need to give something like that so much thought. 

[AION]

Seducing girls is such a steep skill for most guys that you need that horniness to plow through it.
 

If you have trouble with your libido or you are nutting all the time you simply won’t have the motivation to go through the rejection, emotional labor and hassle.
 

 

Edited 1 hour ago by AION

[Hasson_Miah]

@Olaf Hehe. 

My success rate is 100%. 

The first time I tried this I told her directly ''I want to make out'' we've been together ever since. 

[Leo Gura]

27 minutes ago, AION said:

Seducing girls is such a steep skill for most guys that you need that horniness to plow through it.

I don't think horniness is a deep enough motivation. Personal development is the correct motivation.

If I did pickup for the sex, it wasn't worth the effort by a long shot. But my development is was worth any effort.

Edited 1 hour ago by Leo Gura

[AION]

@Leo Gura I agree. Self love as motivation is even better because it fuels self development.  Now I think about it too much horniness scares girls off. But some weekends I need libido to go out. If I don’t have libido I won’t go out. 

Edited 1 hour ago by AION

[Joshe]

On 9/12/2026 at 7:45 PM, Leo Gura said:

Haha! If only it were that easy.

You will still have AA.

Horniness is a definitely a kind of motivation. The only problem is that you are motivated by sex all the time. And then what do you do after you have sex? You lose your motivation?

Being motivated by horniness, you will also make bad decisions.

Agree. If anything, horniness will fuck you up. It seems like stockpiling excitement for 3 months before you skydive like a madman out of a plane. The anxious energy is still there. The solution to the anxious energy is to forget about it and just be playful. Imagine if you didn't run like a madman out the plane door and instead walked out playfully. Much better. 

Edited 1 hour ago by Joshe

[Joshe]

Plus, you're flirting with not being able to get your dick up, which isn't good. Trust me. The last thing you want is to eat some strange cat just to save face.

Edited 1 hour ago by Joshe

[Joshe]

Actually, it's probably best to go out with a hard rod tucked into your waistband. 

Edited 57 minutes ago by Joshe