The myth of “don’t give a fuck” energy attracting women

[Emotionalmosquito]

After all these years and several more attempts I still don’t understand why so many people still think this is the case. I’ve literally been removed from bars for nothing other than embodying this EXACT energy. I’ve approached like this at target, the mall, Walmart, etc. the girls just aren’t having it. What has gotten me better responses is by doing the exact opposite. Being more chill, toning it down, making myself more boring and socially polite than my natural self. I even directly asked a woman at a health food store which behavior she prefers to be opened with: Talking about normal things relevant to the situation or weird/unpredictable topics. She said she prefers normal stuff. 
 

What gives?? 

Edited 7 hours ago by Emotionalmosquito

[meta_male]

Don't-give-a-fuck energy is about being detached from outcome. If you get removed from bars it means you are socially disruptive. You don't need to put on a mask to have personality or ask random women what behavior they prefer, that's pure nice guy energy. Be your natural self, don't care about outcome, be fine without "results".

[Ulax]

8 minutes ago, meta_male said:

Don't-give-a-fuck energy is about being detached from outcome. If you get removed from bars it means you are socially disruptive. You don't need to put on a mask to have personality or ask random women what behavior they prefer, that's pure nice guy energy. Be your natural self, don't care about outcome, be fine without "results".

I agree that not giving a fuck is about being detached from outcome.

But if you didn't care about outcome you wouldn't ever approach anyone. Its better to have an outcome that isn't about just getting some sexual result. Like I want to have fun and connect with other cool people, and if that ends in sex then that's cool too.

[meta_male]

7 minutes ago, Ulax said:

But if you didn't care about outcome you wouldn't ever approach anyone. Its better to have an outcome that isn't about just getting some sexual result. Like I want to have fun and connect with other cool people, and if that ends in sex then that's cool too.

I see your point. But you can talk to someone or drop a comment simply because you find them interesting.

The idea that you have to constantly approach everyone is very pickup-community mindset because it's built on fear and lack. It treats human connection like a limited resource. You don't have to do all the heavy lifting yourself. If you are comfortable and enjoying yourself people...including women, will naturally approach you. Or at least make it very easy for you to talk to them.

[SamC]

5 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

After all these years and several more attempts I still don’t understand why so many people still think this is the case. I’ve literally been removed from bars for nothing other than embodying this EXACT energy. I’ve approached like this at target, the mall, Walmart, etc. the girls just aren’t having it. What has gotten me better responses is by doing the exact opposite. Being more chill, toning it down, making myself more boring and socially polite than my natural self. I even directly asked a woman at a health food store which behavior she prefers to be opened with: Talking about normal things relevant to the situation or weird/unpredictable topics. She said she prefers normal stuff. 
 

What gives?? 

Its not, " I don't give a fuck as a strategy". It's actually not giving a fuck

Edited 2 hours ago by SamC

[something_else]

5 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

After all these years and several more attempts I still don’t understand why so many people still think this is the case. I’ve literally been removed from bars for nothing other than embodying this EXACT energy. I’ve approached like this at target, the mall, Walmart, etc. the girls just aren’t having it. What has gotten me better responses is by doing the exact opposite. Being more chill, toning it down, making myself more boring and socially polite than my natural self. I even directly asked a woman at a health food store which behavior she prefers to be opened with: Talking about normal things relevant to the situation or weird/unpredictable topics. She said she prefers normal stuff. 
 

What gives?? 

'Not giving a fuck' doesn't mean totally abandoning all social norms. 

Most of the dudes who pull off this vibe are actually quite socially aware, they use that awareness to push the limits of what is socially acceptable. That can be very attractive.

What they don't do is smash through the limit of what is socially acceptable like a freight train, which is often what happens when people try to fake the "I don't give a fuck" energy. That will get you thrown out of places.

[Jirh]

I think it's mostly related to daddy issues, and you were lucky that you haven't stumbled upon any girl like that.

The daddy who left, didn't leave quietly. He left a scar that only gets relieved by scratching.

The scratch is someone who embodies the same energy. The energy of "I love you, but I don't care about you".

Self-esteem issues. She believes she doesn't deserve proper healthy love.

[Jirh]

Another explanation is that not giving a fuck is typically associated with strength and power, and it usually signals irrational confidence.

So, a girl who's trying to level up quickly will be attracted to that energy too.

[Monster Energy]

I’m sorry to say this, but if this doesn’t work for you, then maybe you’re just not that attractive. So stop claiming it doesn’t work.

Once you become enlightened, you realize this isn’t a myth. Attraction means chasing something you feel you don’t have. When you chase, people can sense that you feel empty or incomplete, which isn’t attractive.

When you genuinely don’t care about chasing validation, you naturally signal confidence and a sense of wholeness. That’s what people are truly attracted to. No one is attracted to death. They’re attracted to life. Chasing is death. Wholeness is life.

 

[amberlight]

Probably you have poor social calibration and instead off cool you come across as unhinged or creepy.

Lets say you approach a woman in a casual place like in a store or cafe, how exactly does this I don't care energy manifest?