Erection problem

[Ben_P]

I could do with some clarity with a situation I had recently. I had sex with this girl recently and I’ve been in my head over the encounter. The issue is I can’t get it up when I first have sex with someone new, it’s purely psychological and I’m sure it’s to do with me not feeling completely comfortable and insecurity on my part. I spent most of the time giving her oral which she seemed blown away by, her exact words were ‘I’ve never had anyone do it that good before’. She kept telling me to put it in but I couldn’t get up, I explained to her why and she seemed fine with it. What are some steps I can do to get past this problem and do you think I’ve blown it? 
 

Thanks for any feedback 

[Miguel1]

Are you actually enjoying her company? Do you actually like her on a personal level? Is there mutual respect and admiration?

I used to struggle with ED, at the peak of my game journey when it became solely about ego and increasing my body count.

Once I started behaving in a more aligned way with my values, not only ED disappeared immediately, but the quality of sex became 10X better.

[Ben_P]

If I’m totally honest I’m not sure, attraction is certainly there but it’s early days and I don’t know her well enough yet. I certainly do like her. There is ego involved, I haven’t had that many sexual partners and part of me wants to have sex with more people. 
I had this situation with my previous partner and after a few sexual encounters with her I was fine, it’s almost like a switch was flicked. 

[aurum]

@Ben_P you're probably just not comfortable enough.

New encounters can do that.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

2 of my ex's where like this in our first physical encounters. Both times it was unfamiliarity and nerves. 

 

[Miguel1]

Yes, it seems like you are just not relaxed enough to truly enjoy her company and presence.

[Ben_P]

Is it a big deal for a woman? She definitely seemed satisfied, don’t want it to turn into a big deal I know I can get past this 

[Miguel1]

@Ben_P Eventually it will be. She won't feel very sexy, thinking she cant get his man to get his dick up.

But open conversation with her will help the situation. Eventually you will have to talk, if the issue doesnt go away.

[Ben_P]

Okay, thanks for the advice 

[Hojo]

I said this before in another thread that men don't want to have sex unless they are in love. After I break up with my first gf I had sex with 3 or so woman and I couldn't cum. I didnt feel attachment. When you don't feel attachment your body is like I don't even want to do this. Its not a problem.

If you hang out more you can get boner.

I don't think its about being relaxed or stressed its just you dont actually want to do it.

Edited yesterday at 12:14 AM by Hojo

[CARDOZZO]

Probably related to condoms or sensitivity.