P. Ralston on unnecessary suffering - avoidance?

[Hello1]

I'm listening to interviews with Peter Ralston, by Leo but also by other people.

He says things like - "You're doing it! Just stop doing it!" - concerning negative emotions and "unnecessary suffering". From all he says it seems like I should just skip negative emotions. Isn't it the case that I should actually feel through the negative emotions and not avoid them? Isn't avoidance a negative habit that avoidant people to?

Someone explain to me the difference if there is any. 

Many thanks

[Wilhelm44]

2 hours ago, Hello1 said:

I'm listening to interviews with Peter Ralston, by Leo but also by other people.

He says things like - "You're doing it! Just stop doing it!" - concerning negative emotions and "unnecessary suffering". From all he says it seems like I should just skip negative emotions. Isn't it the case that I should actually feel through the negative emotions and not avoid them? Isn't avoidance a negative habit that avoidant people to?

Someone explain to me the difference if there is any. 

Many thanks

He's not saying you should avoid your emotions. But he is pointing to a deeper realization that you actually are choosing to have those emotions, even if it feels as if you are at the receiving end of them. 

[Terell Kirby]

Ralston differs from a traditional Buddhist in that instead of silencing your mind, he wants you to become conscious of what it’s doing and why it’s doing what it’s doing. He’s like a mad scientist of Consciousness in this way.

The idea that emotions happen to us and that we have no involvement of how interpret, process and act on emotion is deemed as a conceptual activity of the mind that reinforces your conceptual sense of self.

When he says stop thinking, he really means stop interpreting your thoughts and emotions in ways that give them power over what’s actually the case, which is that they are fabrications of the Mind and ego meant to distract you from the Truth

 

Edited 11 hours ago by Terell Kirby

[Hojo]

1 cm outside your skull nothing is happening. Its devoid of emotion feeling and logic. Anything that you think is happening is being made up by you and your ego. You can choose to feel about the universe any way you want too. You dont skip negative emotions you realize you are creating them and stop doing it.

If someone calls you a b word and you get offended realize that you are creating the offence and you are creating the negative emotion. You dont skip over the negative emotion if you are creating them you just dont get offended. You can just as easily think this person is a stupid retard and laugh.

Edited 11 hours ago by Hojo

[theleelajoker]

1 hour ago, Wilhelm44 said:

He's not saying you should avoid your emotions. But he is pointing to a deeper realization that you actually are choosing to have those emotions, even if it feels as if you are at the receiving end of them. 

+1

That's about it.

See Lisa Barrett Feldman's "Theory of constructed emotions" or Chris Neubauer "No self, no problem", as two examples for research that supports that hypothesis.

Once the insight is triggered, it's miraculous how much influence you can have on your emotions and state of mind.

Lot's of freedom to be gained. 

 

 

[Leo Gura]

1 minute ago, theleelajoker said:

"No self, no problem"

Lol

[Natasha Tori Maru]

17 minutes ago, theleelajoker said:

+1

That's about it.

See Lisa Barrett Feldman's "Theory of constructed emotions" or Chris Neubauer "No self, no problem", as two examples for research that supports that hypothesis.

Once the insight is triggered, it's miraculous how much influence you can have on your emotions and state of mind.

Lot's of freedom to be gained. 

 

 

I've come across those 2 sources also - great stuff 🤍

Many people misunderstand Ralston's work and interpret what he is saying as bypassing or repression. This is not the case at all. 

You must radically ALLOW the emotions and move through them. You cannot understand and know them without this step. Repressing them will move one further away from grasping how we generate their heightened activity.

I view it as unconsciously white knuckling a ball in our hand without being aware. If you cannot move sensation awareness to the hand that is gripping, how will you ever be able to let go of the ball? You don't even know you are holding it! 

This is why your awareness needs to go to the emotion, not bypass it. Through it. Allow. Follow it to it's root in thoughts. Reverse engineer the process by investigating so you can stop the mechanism prior to it gripping you.

In before all the Ralston/No self haters who claim bypassing 😈😈😈

Edited 10 hours ago by Natasha Tori Maru

[Terell Kirby]

6 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

In before all the Ralston/No self haters who claim bypassing 😈😈😈

haters gonna hate.

[AION]

Avoiding emotional states is not what he is saying. He says the opposite. To face them head on and letting go of the false self. That is why it is important read his books. His work is structured like the seventh heaven. 

[theleelajoker]

1 hour ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

I've come across those 2 sources also - great stuff 🤍

Many people misunderstand Ralston's work and interpret what he is saying as bypassing or repression. This is not the case at all. 

You must radically ALLOW the emotions and move through them. You cannot understand and know them without this step. Repressing them will move one further away from grasping how we generate their heightened activity.

I view it as unconsciously white knuckling a ball in our hand without being aware. If you cannot move sensation awareness to the hand that is gripping, how will you ever be able to let go of the ball? You don't even know you are holding it! 

This is why your awareness needs to go to the emotion, not bypass it. Through it. Allow. Follow it to it's root in thoughts. Reverse engineer the process by investigating so you can stop the mechanism prior to it gripping you.

In before all the Ralston/No self haters who claim bypassing 😈😈😈

Emphasis on bold:

Yeah, fits my personal experience. It seems I had to go through my emotions, putting maximum awareness on them to eventually realize that it's me creating them. 

Funnily, it's also seemed to be enough to just put awareness to it. No complicated mumbo jumbo, just being aware as best as I can. And then... repeat. Practice, practice, practice...

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

In before all the Ralston/No self haters who claim bypassing

I claim drama bypassing.

How dare you bypass my drama! I need it!

[Natasha Tori Maru]

51 minutes ago, theleelajoker said:

Funnily, it's also seemed to be enough to just put awareness to it. No complicated mumbo jumbo, just being aware as best as I can. And then... repeat. Practice, practice, practice...

I don't claim to understand exactly how it works. It felt like engaging in the radical allowance of feeling/emotion led to some *thunk* moments of gears clicking into place. 

And over time all those little gears coming into alignment smoothed out the operation of the machine.

Precisely as you say! Practice. Everything follows 🎯

[Natasha Tori Maru]

46 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

I claim drama bypassing.

How dare you bypass my drama! I need it!

Too true!

It's... Too quiet. 

Haven't had to use the administrator kiss of death (instant 20 points) in a minute ay? 💀

[CARDOZZO]

He clarifies it here:

 

[CARDOZZO]

There is a new Ralston's e-course called "Controlling Your Mind".

He says that 100% of what you want out of survival comes from controlling your mind.

[TimStr]

9 hours ago, Hello1 said:

Isn't avoidance a negative habit that avoidant people to?

Avoidant people do not actually stop doing the suffering in the way that Ralston proposes. Instead, they continue doing the emotion and bury it with distractions and self-deception. Or projecting it outside into the world or on people so they don't have to take responsibility usually creating more suffering in the process.

Stopping suffering is not like this. It actually doesn't even require for the particular emotion to end. You just stop suffering it, by opening up to it, looking into what belief you hold, that causes it and stop believing that. As you do this, the actual emotional sensation in your body stops feeling bad and eventually will transform into something else. You don't try to get rid of the emotion or to make it feel different. Neither do you try to act it out, release it or process it in any way. You just stop doing the shit that makes it come about and it will cease to exist.

Doing this is actually not even that hard once you get the jist of it. Did it many times. It's one of the most accessable things that Ralston teaches. Mastering this skill and making it effortless takes consistency, though.

And it requires a good ammount of personal responsibility is paramount which is why this way of relating to emotions is just not present in our culture. I think this is the reason he continues to hammer that assertion of "You're doing your suffering, stop doing it."

Edited 4 hours ago by TimStr

[Harikrishnan]

Look at the suffering - observing

understand you are suffering

realise that you are doing it.

now stop it.

 Thats how I understand.
avoidance, how avoidant people are  all your mind construction, its all bullshit. Hey In last video he even said, fuck maslows hierarchy of needs. 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

1 hour ago, TimStr said:

Avoidant people do not actually stop doing the suffering in the way that Ralston proposes. Instead, they continue doing the emotion and bury it with distractions and self-deception. Or projecting it outside into the world or on people so they don't have to take responsibility usually creating more suffering in the process.

Stopping suffering is not like this. It actually doesn't even require for the particular emotion to end. You just stop suffering it, by opening up to it, looking into what belief you hold, that causes it and stop believing that. As you do this, the actual emotional sensation in your body stops feeling bad and eventually will transform into something else. You don't try to get rid of the emotion or to make it feel different. Neither do you try to act it out, release it or process it in any way. You just stop doing the shit that makes it come about and it will cease to exist.

Doing this is actually not even that hard once you get the jist of it. Did it many times. It's one of the most accessable things that Ralston teaches. Mastering this skill and making it effortless takes consistency, though.

And it requires a good ammount of personal responsibility is paramount which is why this way of relating to emotions is just not present in our culture. I think this is the reason he continues to hammer that assertion of "You're doing your suffering, stop doing it."

This is such a good breakdown - better than my words.

I really wish this was taught in school.

[VeganAwake]

Shake hands and hug with suffering and avoidance. 

[Wilhelm44]

@Hello1  If you want to get really good at feeling the emotions all the way, then Joe Hudson's process is great.