The Power of saying NO

[Terell Kirby]

On the heels of the latest Actualized.org video on conforming, I'm now realizing how empowering it feels to say NO.

Saying NO to unhealthy things, is saying YES to healthy.

This entire year, I've been assessing what has worked for my personal development and growth, and what hasn't (includes people, activities, ways of thinking, etc). It has become all too clear now the ways in which I limit myself and my growth for the sake of being liked and approved of.

Saying NO is one powerful, under utilized tool in this work. I hope to get better at it as I age and develop.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

Yep.

Big one for so many people. It usually comes down to boundaries. ESPECIALLY WOMEN.

'No' is a complete sentence.

Edited November 10 by Natasha Tori Maru

[Rishabh R]

In my experience saying no is tough but worth it. I need to work on it.

[AntonK]

I think  that instead of short yes or no, people should use "о, yes!)" and "no, because ...".

Edited November 10 by AntonK

[UnbornTao]

Everytime you say "no", remember Bugs Bunny:

[Alexop]

On 10/11/2025 at 4:15 AM, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Yep.

Big one for so many people. It usually comes down to boundaries. ESPECIALLY WOMEN.

'No' is a complete sentence.

Women sometimes say no to healthy things. She might say no to a cool guy like Leo because some video rubbed her the wrong way hehe. An saying yes to some people pleaser nice guy wimp instead that will slowly ruin her life.

Edited November 12 by Alexop

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@Alexop Yes that is true - I will stipulate that my reply was more applicable to women saying no within already established interpersonal relationships! I think once family, friend and romantic relationships are established - THAT is when women struggle to say no  

In terms of dating, due to the nature of the dynamic, women do not struggle to say no as much when approached !

[Alexop]

That is very true. They are ruthless when dating but overwhelmingly indulgent when already in a relationship. Maybe this is a reason for being ruthless when dating, because they foresee that.

[pursuitofspirit]

Saying no is a superpower. Most people are too needy and desperate for approval to effectively say no and mean it.

[Elton]

@Terell Kirby in India saying no to your boss means career downfall 

[Terell Kirby]

1 hour ago, Elton said:

@Terell Kirby in India saying no to your boss means career downfall 

Yea- I’m sure it’s easier for some cultures than others.

Survival can hinge on pleasing your boss or parents- so takes some level of freedom and autonomy to put the power of saying no into practice.

[Yimpa]

Say NO to being human,

 

and YES to being Alien

[Ramasta9]

19 hours ago, Yimpa said:

Say NO to being human,

 

and YES to being Alien

If you reject your human, how can you meet an alien who is looking for a human to make babies with? 

[Aaron p]

Preach

[LoneWonderer]

The other day I had to say NO big time to someone's behavior in my close inner circle. It worked, but it didn't feel good or empowering, I just felt the other person's sadness because offence was taken to my standing up for myself and caught them by surprise. We both talked it out and it was resolved. In the past an egoic side of me would have been like "how awesome you are" "you're the man you stood up" "you're amazing!"...this time I just wanted to make sure the other person was feeling ok and not too distraught. I guess that's personal growth on my part.

Edited yesterday at 05:53 AM by LoneWonderer

[Terell Kirby]

On 12/3/2025 at 0:52 AM, LoneWonderer said:

The other day I had to say NO big time to someone's behavior in my close inner circle. It worked, but it didn't feel good or empowering, I just felt the other person's sadness because offence was taken to my standing up for myself and caught them by surprise.

Sounds like you may have been unsure of yourself whilst setting boundaries. When you’re a doormat, some friends and family will certainly get offended when you start setting those boundaries. It’s a shock to them.

But kudos to you for doing it. Takes practice.

[LoneWonderer]

3 hours ago, Terell Kirby said:

Sounds like you may have been unsure of yourself whilst setting boundaries. When you’re a doormat, some friends and family will certainly get offended when you start setting those boundaries. It’s a shock to them.

But kudos to you for doing it. Takes practice.

I'm a doormat a lot. I'm working on setting boundaries with people.

[Schizophonia]

On 12/11/2025 at 10:28 PM, Alexop said:

Women sometimes say no to healthy things. She might say no to a cool guy like Leo because some video rubbed her the wrong way hehe. An saying yes to some people pleaser nice guy wimp instead that will slowly ruin her life.

But it's the same for you and Leo; your attention is constantly shifting to emotionnamy negatively charged ideas. Personal development, pick-up, getting your brains fried by magic mushrooms, politics, and so on.

And since sexual behavior generally reflects your persona I'm sure you get turned on by girls who reflect that.

So all of this is projection, a mirror effect; and there's projection because there's a refusal to acknowledge one's desire, which is a neurotic reflex.

edit: I responded intuitively as if it were a question of "good guys" versus "bad guys" whatever that means because generally it's that; here you are twisted in a slightly different way but it amounts to the same thing.

Edited 46 minutes ago by Schizophonia