pursuitofspirit

That's not what I'm referring to. I'm talking about him describing how connor was able to "snap out of it" and speak in a highly intelligent and coherent way.

His comments about Connor's behavior at the 11:00ish mark are a great insight into how deceiving manic/psychotic episodes can be and why it's so easy for people experiencing that to convince themselves and others they are fine.

@Hojo It's similar but not the same in the sense that you feel zero fear or anxiety about anything, and that's the issue. The normal part of your brain that warns you of consequences is switched off. You do stupid, bold, careless shit whereas with a panic attack you freeze and shut down.

Bro was manic and in a deep state of psychosis. How he was acting in his recent videos and for the past few years is exactly what psychosis looks like from an outsiders perspective. His death is exactly the end that many people with mental issues come to. It doesn't matter how many times he said he was acting or that it was some grand scheme. All that was a psychotic cope for his behavior and antics. Just because you are in psychosis does not mean that you are not intelligent or can't act in ways that seem normal.

Thank you

Ideally. But sleep wouldn't cure it anyways. Lack of sleep just makes the underlying issue worse and more extreme. When you are in that state you need contained, monitored, and fed antipsychotics until you're stable. If it happened again I like to think I would be able to manage it better and get help sooner because I lived through the absolute hell the first episode was, but you never know. The thing is that when you're in that psychotic state everything is flipped upside down. Sleep is bad. Help is bad. Work is bad. Medication is bad. Careless behavior is good. Not eating is good. Confrontation is good. Randomly deciding to drive across the country with no money is good. It's a terrifying predicament to be in because you refuse to accept how far gone you are, and nobody can convince you otherwise.

@Hojo No. Not at all. I didn't want to sleep. I refused to sleep. I wanted to keep going. That is what made it so much worse. When I finally got help I was able to sleep, and that's when I started to improve and stabilize.

My experience with psychosis is that it would flare up and then calm down, almost like a cough or an ache or something like that. There was multiple times where I was able to switch my psychosis "off" when cops showed up to speak to me. Almost like how you can hold in a cough in or compensate momentarily for a sore back. I would act completely sane, rational, and normal when they were present. Once they left, I would flip right back into insane irrational behavior. It was so weird. I don't think you can get a good understanding of his psychotic state in a few minutes of videos where he is obviously and knowingly putting on a performance. It could've been much worse then he was letting on in recent uploads.

@Hojo My experience was an endless non-stop stream of delusion and erratic behavior at the pace of a 100mph. So yes. Something like that. I cringe watching Connor in his videos because that is exactly how I was acting.

This news hits hard because I was in his exact same position as Connor: deep interest in spirituality and psychedelics + a psychotic episode with multiple arrests and involuntary hospitalizations. I ended up in a jail in New Mexico at one point during that time. This same fate could've easily found me. At this point I do not think this is a hoax. I've lived this shit and almost died multiple times during my 2-month long episode. Connor has been perpetually in a state of psychosis for years now. It makes complete sense that this is how he would meet his end.

This is exactly how it was when I had my episode, but I got the help I needed and was able to come back down to earth. When you are in that state of psychosis it's mad. Nobody can tell you anything and everything you think you automatically believe, no matter how delusional or outrageous.

Damn. Textbook case study of spirituality + psychedelics + mental illness gone wrong

https://www.war.gov/ufo/ for anyone who hasn't looked through the UFO files yet, pretty cool stuff. This one was the craziest to me: https://www.war.gov/ufo/#DOW-UAP-PR38-Unresolved-UAP-Report-Middle-East-2013

It's a good episode and they cover things they didn't cover in the original episode from 7 years ago. Lazar is a fascinating and brilliant man. He gives me no signals that he is lying about anything he says he experienced.

Sent an email @Leo Gura. Would be honored to attend