How many women did you meet before you found a girlfriend?

[Thought Art]

This motivates me! My life makes it hard to socialize right now between my life purpose goals and travelling for work. But, I’ll figure it out!

[Miguel1]

6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

I have a good looking friend who just runs a script on every girl he sees that he finds attractive to get a phone number. He only runs the script. And he gets girls fly in to sleep with him because he is good looking. He is just a script machine and he will run that script on any girl he sees, any place, any time, no matter what.

Man, this is like hell in every possible way lol 

I wouldn’t even be able to get an erection if sex became this mechanical and robotic.

Edited November 4 by Miguel1

[max duewel]

I started approaching this spring again and found a Gf on my 83rd approach. (I did around 600 approaches before that)

[Thought Art]

@max duewel Hey that’s good man

[max duewel]

@Thought Art Thanks

[joeyi99]

What's the script?

[EternalForest]

On 11/1/2025 at 1:34 AM, Emerald said:

No. Just start socializing in groups with men and women in them. (school, hobby groups, or any other place that you frequent)

Make friends and acquaintances with the men and the women in the group.

And over time, if you are authentic, a small but sizable percentage of women in the group will be interested in you.... and you can spark up something when you sense chemistry. 

This doesn't work if you have male only friend groups like me.

[Emerald]

On 11/10/2025 at 10:54 PM, EternalForest said:

This doesn't work if you have male only friend groups like me.

That's where you're going wrong. 

Get some female friends and acquaintances in your social circle, simply for the sake of building a robust social circle. Every person should aim to do that, imo.

Hanging out too much of one type of person can be a bit socially stunting. So, if you only hang out with other young/youngish guys, it's going to make you disconnected because that's a very specific social bubble. And operating too much in that zone will make interactions with women feel alien and awkward... or as purely agenda driven.

And as a perk of creating a more robust social circle, some percentage of those female friends and acquaintances that you interact with will be interested in you. 

Honestly, too many guys on this forum are sleeping on the benefits of having a strong and varied social support system... and some of those benefits include romantic benefits.

[Kid A]

8 hours ago, Emerald said:

Hanging out too much of one type of person can be a bit socially stunting. So, if you only hang out with other young/youngish guys, it's going to make you disconnected because that's a very specific social bubble. And operating too much in that zone will make interactions with women feel alien and awkward... or as purely agenda driven.

I can confirm this 100%.
 

Not prioritizing having female friends has been one of the really really big mistakes that I’ve made in life. 

[EternalForest]

13 hours ago, Emerald said:

That's where you're going wrong. 

Get some female friends and acquaintances in your social circle, simply for the sake of building a robust social circle. Every person should aim to do that, imo.

Hanging out too much of one type of person can be a bit socially stunting. So, if you only hang out with other young/youngish guys, it's going to make you disconnected because that's a very specific social bubble. And operating too much in that zone will make interactions with women feel alien and awkward... or as purely agenda driven.

And as a perk of creating a more robust social circle, some percentage of those female friends and acquaintances that you interact with will be interested in you. 

Honestly, too many guys on this forum are sleeping on the benefits of having a strong and varied social support system... and some of those benefits include romantic benefits.

Obviously this is something I'd like to have in theory.

But I already love my circle. Why should I bring women in just for the sake of it? Does the strength in a social circle really hinge on its diversity?

I'd rather be part of an all male or all female social circle that's loyal, fun and uncensored over one that's diverse and mediocre.

Edited Wednesday at 08:00 PM by EternalForest

[Emerald]

29 minutes ago, EternalForest said:

Obviously this is something I'd like to have in theory.

But I already love my circle. Why should I bring women in just for the sake of it? Does the strength in a social circle really hinge on its diversity?

I'd rather be part of an all male or all female social circle that's loyal, fun and uncensored over one that's diverse and mediocre.

It's because it operates like the village, which is what social circles have always naturally been. So, diversity in one's social circle is part of the need.

It's mostly adolescents that operate in same-sex social circles, as subsets within the greater village before they're ready to step into adult participation within the entire village.

So, it's a more mature and adult way to operate socially. And as a plus, women tend to respond very well to men who are less adolescent-seeming and more adult-seeming... which involves having a strong community and varied social network.

Also, why relate diversity to mediocrity?

As someone who has a varied social circle of people in many parts of the world, many cultural backgrounds, ages across the spectrum, and including men, women, and even a few non-binary people... I can tell you that there are very interesting people in every single group.

The main goal that I have is to find others on the same wavelength and to cultivate the village around myself.

What I find is, in cliques of young men or cliques of young women, things can be a little one-note and insular. There's a lot more growth to be had if you create the village around yourself.

And a side benefit of that is that you'll have more opportunities to find a partner. Another couple side benefits is (if you decide to do pick-up), you will have lots of social practice with interacting with women in non-agenda driven ways AND you won't be starving for human connection as your cup will be filled.

If you do pick-up without having your cup filled of your need for the village, you will unconsciously see every female prospect as a substitute for the missing parts of the village. And it will add a lot of pressure. 

[Emerald]

5 hours ago, Kid A said:

I can confirm this 100%.
 

Not prioritizing having female friends has been one of the really really big mistakes that I’ve made in life. 

Yes. I tend to find that men who have no female acquaintances or friends can be a bit socially disconnected, as they're used to only operating in the specific ways that groups of young men tend to operate. 

The same could be said for women who only interact with other women... but this is a bit less common.

[EternalForest]

So there's like 4 different conversations going on here at the same time

In regards to social circles being stronger the more diverse they are, I fundamentally disagree. All you need to do is talk to guys who have "guys nights out" or girls who have "girls nights out" and you'll find they're much happier and those nights are their reprieves, their escapes from their girlfriends or boyfriends or even the opposite sex in general. My all male friend group has been in my life for over 15 years and it's been the #1 reason why I don't suffer from depression or loneliness. I can deal with being single as long as I have the guys. Without a girlfriend OR the guys, I'd be very lonely.

If you're saying it shows maturity for a guy to be able to have female friends, but you don't feel the same about women, that's a double standard.

I also never related diversity to mediocrity, I was saying that the diversity of the friend group has little to do with its quality, and diversifying the group for the sake of it could lead to mediocrity because you're picking people more for their identity than their chemistry. 

Now one thing you said did hit home for me.

3 hours ago, Emerald said:

 

If you do pick-up without having your cup filled of your need for the village, you will unconsciously see every female prospect as a substitute for the missing parts of the village. And it will add a lot of pressure. 

It would be nice to have a female friend for the simple reason that it would allow me to not look at every woman I'm talking to as romantic prospect. That's a big issue for me right now.

Edited Thursday at 12:01 AM by EternalForest

[Emerald]

6 hours ago, EternalForest said:

So there's like 4 different conversations going on here at the same time

In regards to social circles being stronger the more diverse they are, I fundamentally disagree. All you need to do is talk to guys who have "guys nights out" or girls who have "girls nights out" and you'll find they're much happier and those nights are their reprieves, their escapes from their girlfriends or boyfriends or even the opposite sex in general. My all male friend group has been in my life for over 15 years and it's been the #1 reason why I don't suffer from depression or loneliness. I can deal with being single as long as I have the guys. Without a girlfriend OR the guys, I'd be very lonely.

If you're saying it shows maturity for a guy to be able to have female friends, but you don't feel the same about women, that's a double standard.

I also never related diversity to mediocrity, I was saying that the diversity of the friend group has little to do with its quality, and diversifying the group for the sake of it could lead to mediocrity because you're picking people more for their identity than their chemistry. 

Now one thing you said did hit home for me.

It would be nice to have a female friend for the simple reason that it would allow me to not look at every woman I'm talking to as romantic prospect. That's a big issue for me right now.

There are no double standards here... everyone tends to get a bit socially boxed in and stunted by spending time only around one type of person (men and women both). And that's because uni-sex groups (especially those who are the same age) tend to be a bit one-note as it's like an echo chamber that only deals with issues that impact that specific group. And from the outside, it feels kind of cliquey.

It's just that women don't tend to have the issue of no male friends or acquaintances, as women are more likely to have a gender-diverse social circle with male and female friends and acquaintances.

Men just tend to have this uni-sex friend group issue a lot more often than women do. But it's equally negative for both.

And it's perfectly fine to have a "boys night" or "girls night" as that's a specific type of get-together... but that doesn't mean that you only have friendships and and acquaintance-ships with only those of the same gender.

Like, I like to get together with female friends. But that doesn't mean that I only have female friends. I don't delineate gender-wise when I find someone interesting.

And I'm not saying you have to subtract your guy friends to do this. Keep the friends you currently have. I'm just recommending that you add more people to your social circle... not take any away.

And this uni-sex friend group dynamic does create a situation where (usually men), are not able to socialize normally with women because they never interact with women.

They see women as only prospects. And women are very sensitive to that.

Honestly, if I met a guy and he only had male friends and acquaintances, that would communicate to me something about his level of social networking skills, social aptitudes, and values more generally. 

Edited Thursday at 06:26 AM by Emerald

[EternalForest]

@Emerald

"Women are sensitive to men who view women as only prospects" 

Really? Most female-isolated men ironically aren't a threat to you or under any illusions of getting laid anymore, or at least any time soon. Ironically, those are the men you should be giving a chance. What happened to that good old female empathy and understanding, welcoming those flawed men with open arms?

"Honestly, if I met a guy and he only had male friends and acquaintances, that would communicate to me something about his level of social networking skills, social aptitudes, and values more generally. "

What would it communicate? If the man has a lot of friends, regardless of gender, he has good social networking skills and social aptitude in my opinion.

[Emerald]

15 minutes ago, EternalForest said:

@Emerald

"Women are sensitive to men who view women as only prospects" 

Really? Most female-isolated men ironically aren't a threat to you or under any illusions of getting laid anymore, or at least any time soon. Ironically, those are the men you should be giving a chance. What happened to that good old female empathy and understanding, welcoming those flawed men with open arms?

"Honestly, if I met a guy and he only had male friends and acquaintances, that would communicate to me something about his level of social networking skills, social aptitudes, and values more generally. "

What would it communicate? If the man has a lot of friends, regardless of gender, he has good social networking skills and social aptitude in my opinion.

First off, I'm not single... and I'm 36 years old. So, I'm past that phase in life. And I wouldn't need to give anyone a chance even if I were single.

And the idea that women should be doing all that emotional labor for guys she's not interested in and simply "giving chances" to men who are flawed is honestly silly. It just isn't how dating works.

The way it works is that a woman is either attracted to a man and interested in him... or she's not. There's no "Let me give this guy a chance" logic, as that isn't how women decide who to date... unless she really doesn't know herself at all or has terrible self-esteem.

It just begins with, "How do I feel about this guy?" And if the response isn't feelings of desire and attraction, then she's not going to give that guy a chance... because why would she give some guy she's not attracted to a chance?

Then, a smart woman is also very aware of her deal-breakers and incompatibilities and will even sort men she's attracted to from consideration if he hits those deal-breakers or is incompatible with her.

And the more a woman uses her intuition and sorts unapologetically on the basis of "What kind of dynamic do I want and need in my relationship? And who is the best match for that intention?" the better a match she will strike... and the better the relationship will be more likely to be.

And relative to the idea of 'accept these flawed men with open arms and be empathetic with them', the first thing to know is that the best thing a woman can do is to have very strong boundaries and preserve her energy... and to sort with high discernment. And one skill that's very important to learn for women is detachment and selective empathy... otherwise your energy gets drained trying to pour into everyone else's cups.

And empathy is emotional labor, and women don't owe that labor to every random person who wants to extract that value from them.

I also know from direct experience that this piece of advice you're giving for women to "accept the flawed man with open arms and give him empathy" is very unwise and could even be dangerous for a woman to follow... as a man who isn't doing well in his life can take out his resentment towards the woman he's with.

And I had made that mistake in my teens of being the empathetic woman and getting into a relationship with a flawed man who was a lazy ne'er-do-well type. And in my extreme empathy, I subjected myself to a terrible relationship.

And there's a hope in many inexperienced young women that ("with the power of my love, empathy, and unconditional support) I can pull him up." And you may even unconsciously look for a flawed man because you get to feel so helpful and needed. But these inexperienced women who just want to give and give end up throwing themselves into the grinder.

And from 16-20, I spent 4 years trying to be supportive to him and empathetic... and trying to rescue him. But the reality is that he just became a weight weighing down my entire life. And I was just depleting my energy because I had no boundaries... just pure empathy and understanding constantly being poured out of my cup.

So, it never works. Such a man is a taker and not a giver and will only pull you and your entire life down. And if you have kids with that man, he will pull your kids' lives down. 

And that is why it's important to sort strictly based on what his situation is at this very moment in time.... and not for some future potential version of him who has overcome his current flaw with the power of a woman's love and empathy.

With much experience, I know that if a man doesn't have his life together and has flaws that he wants a woman to fix, that he's looking for an unconditionally present and nurturing mother,and  not a partner who chooses him because she prefers him. And an excess of empathy towards this kind of man just enables his current status quo and will drag a woman's life into the ground.

But when I was younger, I was certainly trained on that "Be more empathetic" messaging.

If I were to give advice to the younger version of myself, I would tell her, "The quality of your parter will determine the quality of your life. And you should be a lot more ruthless in your sorting process."

And "female-isolated" men can often have issues with not seeing women as fellow humans to make friendships with... and that's a huge block to the friendship foundation of a relationship. 

And lots of guys who hang out only with guys can be afraid of women.... or even intensely dislike women. So, it's an important thing to take note of as a woman... and watch out for.

[Schizophonia]

13 minutes ago, Emerald said:

First off, I'm not single... and I'm 36 years old. So, I'm past that phase in life. And I wouldn't need to give anyone a chance even if I were single.

And the idea that women should be doing all that emotional labor for guys she's not interested in and simply "giving chances" to men who are flawed is honestly silly. It just isn't how dating works.

The way it works is that a woman is either attracted to a man and interested in him... or she's not. There's no "Let me give this guy a chance" logic, as that isn't how women decide who to date... unless she really doesn't know herself at all or has terrible self-esteem.

It just begins with, "How do I feel about this guy?" And if the response isn't feelings of desire and attraction, then she's not going to give that guy a chance... because why would she give some guy she's not attracted to a chance?

Then, a smart woman is also very aware of her deal-breakers and incompatibilities and will even sort men she's attracted to from consideration if he hits those deal-breakers or is incompatible with her.

And the more a woman uses her intuition and sorts unapologetically on the basis of "What kind of dynamic do I want and need in my relationship? And who is the best match for that intention?" the better a match she will strike... and the better the relationship will be more likely to be.

And relative to the idea of 'accept these flawed men with open arms and be empathetic with them', the first thing to know is that the best thing a woman can do is to have very strong boundaries and preserve her energy... and to sort with high discernment. And one skill that's very important to learn for women is detachment and selective empathy... otherwise your energy gets drained trying to pour into everyone else's cups.

And empathy is emotional labor, and women don't owe that labor to every random person who wants to extract that value from them.

I also know from direct experience that this piece of advice you're giving for women to "accept the flawed man with open arms and give him empathy" is very unwise and could even be dangerous for a woman to follow... as a man who isn't doing well in his life can take out his resentment towards the woman he's with.

And I had made that mistake in my teens of being the empathetic woman and getting into a relationship with a flawed man who was a lazy ne'er-do-well type. And in my extreme empathy, I subjected myself to a terrible relationship.

And there's a hope in many inexperienced young women that ("with the power of my love, empathy, and unconditional support) I can pull him up." And you may even unconsciously look for a flawed man because you get to feel so helpful and needed. But these inexperienced women who just want to give and give end up throwing themselves into the grinder.

And from 16-20, I spent 4 years trying to be supportive to him and empathetic... and trying to rescue him. But the reality is that he just became a weight weighing down my entire life. And I was just depleting my energy because I had no boundaries... just pure empathy and understanding constantly being poured out of my cup.

So, it never works. Such a man is a taker and not a giver and will only pull you and your entire life down. And if you have kids with that man, he will pull your kids' lives down. 

And that is why it's important to sort strictly based on what his situation is at this very moment in time.... and not for some future potential version of him who has overcome his current flaw with the power of a woman's love and empathy.

With much experience, I know that if a man doesn't have his life together and has flaws that he wants a woman to fix, that he's looking for an unconditionally present and nurturing mother,and  not a partner who chooses him because she prefers him. And an excess of empathy towards this kind of man just enables his current status quo and will drag a woman's life into the ground.

But when I was younger, I was certainly trained on that "Be more empathetic" messaging.

If I were to give advice to the younger version of myself, I would tell her, "The quality of your parter will determine the quality of your life. And you should be a lot more ruthless in your sorting process."

And "female-isolated" men can often have issues with not seeing women as fellow humans to make friendships with... and that's a huge block to the friendship foundation of a relationship. 

And lots of guys who hang out only with guys can be afraid of women.... or even intensely dislike women. So, it's an important thing to take note of as a woman... and watch out for.

Everything you say about women is also true for men and vice versa.

 

Edited yesterday at 09:14 AM by Schizophonia