How to go about getting laid when you're young and don't have your shit together ?

[Majed]

The problem is that to fix your life and get your shit together takes years, however everyday you're struggling with strong sexual urges, the dating sexual market require men to be at their best, even sometimes setting unrealistic standards, and mainstream society doesn't give you much option when it comes to fulfilling sexual desires. And waiting to fix your life while not having sex can be really demotivating, frustrating, can lead to addictions, dysfunctions, bad habits to medicate the pain, depression and even suicide. So my question is how ? 

[Peo]

I have some few friends who get laid and have dont have their shit together. They get high on coke, weed, antidepressants, MDMA and other drugs weekly. They also work a boring 9/5 job and no college. So my answer is yes you can get laid even if you don't have your shit together.

Although my friends are extremly exoverted so they do some what get easy laid since they are very social guys. They go out almost every weekend at clubs and bars. 

Also you can do both fix your life, while also learning pick-up or just go out to socialize a lot. Thats what i do. I focus on my dating life and my life purpose at the same time. 

[Hojo]

Act cooler than you currently are. Thats the easiest time to have sex with women without being successful.

[Sugarcoat]

Omg drop this idea that you need to be some mega actualized being with years of “doing the work” to get laid. Losers get laid every day , it happens. I think the simplest way is just to socialize and expose yourself to people in various environments and there you’ll find women and sooner or later it will be a match, someone will be willing to hook up, some self confidence is pretty basic and doesn’t necessarily need years of work. Just learn to be in flow with yourself, be relaxed and see rejection as reflection/learning opportunity instead of offense so you don’t fear it and ruin your vibe.

[gettoefl]

Getting laid is toxic masculinity. Reframe so you make this at least of some utility to the woman you are laying with. End the silly us vs them. Contemplate how to be of value to 100% of the world not 50%. Then women will flock in droves.

[Vincent S]

@Majed Contemplate why you assign so much meaning and value in to getting laid.

I don’t know how old you are but I soon came to realize that this “sexual urge” is so much more than what we express through sexuality/lust/desire. It is a very potent and powerful force all men need to tame and understand within ourselves.

Sexual desire is endless, the expression and hunger is endless. No matter how much you get, it still won’t satisfy you.

You need to go deeper within yourself and see why this is controlling your life and your sense of self/value so much.

Ask yourself and see what comes up.

[integral]

Women have no idea how much money you make before they sleep with you

[Majed]

@Sugarcoat @Peo @Hojo @integral Look to get laid would ideally need to move out of beirut to a new city which i cannot do without money. Plus you need a car, a phone, money for the hotel room, money to go out every week, now in a third world country like lebanon in an economic crisis a regular job without degree, won't get you much money. Plus just to maintain an 8 hours a day job requires mental stability which i don't have at the time. I'm planning on seeing my psychiatrist soon. 

[Sugarcoat]

Yea work on getting that basic mental health in order. 

[Majed]

@Vincent S In my opinion that is bs. You can't bullshit your way out of needing sex, similar to how you can't bullshit your way out of needing food or air. 

Edited Tuesday at 04:23 PM by Majed

[Sugarcoat]

Have no libido like me😊problem solved 

[Majed]

@gettoefl Yeah and being hungry needing to hunt is also toxic speciesism, welcome to reality my friend. 

[Majed]

@Sugarcoat Why don't you have libido, are you healthy ?

[Lyubov]

Where are you located? Consider moving 

[Sugarcoat]

5 minutes ago, Majed said:

@Sugarcoat Why don't you have libido, are you healthy ?

It’s mental problem. It’s quite unusual . I’m healthy in my body tho

[Vincent S]

12 minutes ago, Majed said:

@Vincent S In my opinion that is bs. You can't bullshit your way out of needing sex, similar to how you can't bullshit your way out of needing food or air. 

Who said anything about bullshitting yourself out of it? I was pointing you to observe why you put so much emphasis and your value and your life on the line for a desire...
You can't compare food and air with this. Be realistic.

5 hours ago, Majed said:

And waiting to fix your life while not having sex can be really demotivating, frustrating, can lead to addictions, dysfunctions, bad habits to medicate the pain, depression and even suicide. So my question is how ? 

This is my point. You wont question this.

Edited Tuesday at 04:36 PM by Vincent S

[Tenebroso]

You don't need to have your shit together to get laid. You just need to be sexy enough at the right time to a particular women. Some men are luckier than others and some men will never be sexy enough for any woman.

[Schizophonia]

Look at Leo Gura's videos.

 

[meta_male]

@Majed I'd say becoming suicidal is your clue to take a step back from trying to meet society’s standards and focusing on building a life you actually enjoy. Ironically, when you stop obsessing over sex and validation and focus on growing at your own pace, things start to feel less hopeless and that's when you start attracting effortlessly. Don’t let outside pressure rush your process.

[museumoftrees]

You can very much get laid while you are getting your life together. The strategy here would be to lean into the player phase and get experience with women while you build your life up.