Men, why get married?

[Hojo]

@shree its literally physically and mentally cloning yourself. How in anyway is it not. You are cloning your biological body and then you are talking to it in your specific personality the baby is literally copying your personality.

I don't see how cloning yourself has anything to do with teaching your child to love itself. You have to clone yourself into the baby for the baby to love itself. You can do both at the same time.

You cant not clone yourself into the child it automatically happens its how brains work. If you are teaching the baby you are cloning yourself into it.

Edited May 4 by Hojo

[Hojo]

@Someone here God is 1000 times better. Going after pussy is just like smoking or masterbating. You can have sex 4000 times and you will still go after it with the same fire and passion. It never ends God is the end.

Edited May 4 by Hojo

[The Caretaker]

Not sure if you will get a good answer here. From what I've noticed, very few members here are married, and it says something about the overall bias of the community.

The legal implications are tough if you marry, but as a concept, it is beautiful. You can't really build anything meaningful without some sort of commitment.

As for myself, a big decision like that might come from the intuition rather than the mind. Otherwise, you either get into autistic territory like "secretary problem" or end up in an endless chase of the next best thing.

[shree]

1 hour ago, Hojo said:

@shree its literally physically and mentally cloning yourself. How in anyway is it not. You are cloning your biological body and then you are talking to it in your specific personality the baby is literally copying your personality.

I don't see how cloning yourself has anything to do with teaching your child to love itself. You have to clone yourself into the baby for the baby to love itself. You can do both at the same time.

You cant not clone yourself into the child it automatically happens its how brains work. If you are teaching the baby you are cloning yourself into it.

Lol.

[integration journey]

4 hours ago, Basman said:

Men tend to have fewer resources for intimacy and emotional connection than women outside of romantic relationships and generally benefit more from them compared to women. Married men are on average twice as happy as unmarried men

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/closer-encounters/202501/men-need-romantic-relationships-more-than-women

https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-is-happiest-married-mothers-and-fathers-per-the-latest-general-social-survey

I think men are by nature more picky about committing to a relationship so I think it is quiet natural for guys to ask these kind of questions. It is kind of the equivalent of when women say there no good men anymore. It more so a matter of mindset toward the challenge of dating or just an expression of exasperation rather than something objectively wrong with the environment necessarily in my opinion.

What do you think about having kids? 
I read a study a long time ago that says men with kids are more unhappy than men with no kids.

 

[aurum]

If you're a man and your partner relies on you for financial support, you get married for her. It's not supposed to be for you.

You marry because she needs financial security in case things go badly.

This doesn't click in the minds of manosphere guys.

[Yimpa]

2 minutes ago, aurum said:

If you're a man and your partner relies on you for financial support, you get married for her. It's not supposed to be for you.

You marry because she needs financial security in case things go badly.

This doesn't click in the minds of manosphere guys.

So is a kid married to their mom?

Serious question to ponder about.

[aurum]

5 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

So is a kid married to their mom?

Serious question to ponder about.

I'm not sure I understand the comparison.

A kid is dependent on their parents for financial support, yes.

And yes, we have laws in place to prevent parents from abusing that dependency. You cannot legally abandon your kids.

Those laws are not there for the parents, but for the kids.

[Yimpa]

@aurum It is the age-old debate of what is the real definition of marriage.

The current conservative viewpoint is that it is only between a man and a woman.

[aurum]

24 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

@aurum It is the age-old debate of what is the real definition of marriage.

The current conservative viewpoint is that it is only between a man and a woman.

I see.

In that case, I'd say no. Children offer a sufficiently different dynamic than a romantic partner. You're better off calling the relationship between mother and child something else rather than "marriage".

But yes, conservatives often deny that definitions of marriage evolve. Especially around LGBTQ+ rights.

Edited May 4 by aurum

[LordFall]

@stellataye77 I don't like externalizing responsibility to the state. I don't like the incentive to divorce if I make more which as I'm working on multiple businesses I will. I'm also interested in polyamory and there's no real legal way to make that work. 

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

Marriage has no meaning or weight behind it nowadays I feel, it doesn't mean shit really. It used to mean something in the past, althought it always was kind of an illusion, but definitely a stronger one in the past. Furthermore, I don't even know if I'd be able to find someone I could marry, so I can't understand how I could even consider it as a goal of some sorts, it's like asking "Why go to Saturn?" Well shit, idk man. Seems kinda out of reach, no?

[Yimpa]

@NewKidOnTheBlock sounds like you’re seeking unconditional love without any strings attached.

[Eskilon]

2 hours ago, aurum said:

If you're a man and your partner relies on you for financial support, you get married for her. It's not supposed to be for you.

Nowdays women are more and more financially independent. Considering the legal implications, what's the point of marriage if that's the case? Isn't it better to be eternal boyfriends and girlfriends?

[Basman]

1 hour ago, integration journey said:

What do you think about having kids? 
I read a study a long time ago that says men with kids are more unhappy than men with no kids.

 

Having kids today is largely done for intrinsic reasons since kids are no longer a financial asset compared to before, so you have to be very honest with yourself if kids are for you as they are a sheer burden materially.

Married men with kids are slightly more happy than childless married man according to the latter article in my previous, but there is probably some bias there considering they most likely wanted to and chose to have kids. Married men with kids are the happiest and unmarried men with no kids are the unhappiest accordingly.

It is a generalization that getting married and having kids will make you happier but you probably need a very rich and meaningful life to beat intimate family connections in terms of happiness, one where a family would be incompatible. That is not most people probably. Or perhaps your just built different where family makes no sense. I have an autistic relative who would not have had kids in hindsight because they live so much in their own little world which they prefer to the bustle of family life.

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

9 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

@NewKidOnTheBlock sounds like you’re seeking unconditional love without any strings attached.

You're the ultimate God promoter aren't you

Not sure what I'm seeking really, just sort of coasting throught life taking care of practical benign daily matters. Can't understand how some people want concepts like "marriage"

[Basman]

13 minutes ago, Eskilon said:

Nowdays women are more and more financially independent. Considering the legal implications, what's the point of marriage if that's the case? Isn't it better to be eternal boyfriends and girlfriends?

You guys are being hyper logical. It is a ritual that solidifies the commitment. It is about how it makes you feel. The point is that the relationship is experienced as more actual once you're married with a social dimension to boot.

What is the point of a funeral if the person is already dead? Just chuck grandma's corpse in the compost heap.

Of course, there are risks which is why you have to be very selective with who you marry. A bad marriage could ruin your life. I've know someone who literally lost their hair due to stress over a divorce war (kids caught in the crossfire).

Edited May 4 by Basman

[aurum]

15 minutes ago, Eskilon said:

Nowdays women are more and more financially independent. Considering the legal implications, what's the point of marriage if that's the case? Isn't it better to be eternal boyfriends and girlfriends?

Yes it changes the incentive landscape drastically.

That's one of the reasons traditionalists have such a problem with feminism.

Edited May 4 by aurum

[Someone here]

5 hours ago, Hojo said:

@Someone here God is 1000 times better. Going after pussy is just like smoking or masterbating. You can have sex 4000 times and you will still go after it with the same fire and passion. It never ends God is the end.

 I agree .Reminds me of an old blog post from Leo explaining that heroin Addicts are actually seeking God without knowing it .

All hedonistic pursuits in the end won't cut it .because you will die at the end along with the whole earth will be blown by the sun . We need something eternal or trans-cosmic. Aka GOD.

[Emerald]

13 hours ago, aurum said:

If you're a man and your partner relies on you for financial support, you get married for her. It's not supposed to be for you.

You marry because she needs financial security in case things go badly.

This doesn't click in the minds of manosphere guys.

No one should be getting married just to serve the other person as that just isn't going to work. There has to be a mutual benefit for the marriage to work out.

And there have been studies that have been conducted and men actually seem to benefit more from marriage than women do as there are many social, emotional, and lifestyle needs that men tend to struggle to meet when they're not in a relationship/marriage.