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Well yes, that is kind of the crux of the matter. Because it is all of those. It is Impersonal Flow and yet also intimately loving and wanting to experience full of eros. So there are aspects/facets. And some of them are higher/purer. Like God is also unconsciouss materialist or christian fundamentalist. The Deceiver. The Lover. The Emptiness. The Truth. Etc. And I kind of wonder whether he is more of a Lover/BDSMer or a Self-Deceiver lost in it's own thoughts. Or rather I want to understand the mechanichs of how those different archetypes flow/relate. I don't know. It is a hard question to even articulate lol. Much love to you too

@Arthogaan I understand .what I meant is these kinds of questions don't usually have an end game . Because your notion of God is too loaded with anthropomorphizing God. Make up your mind Whether God is conscious agent who does things with intention and free will or just unbiased impersonal inevitable infinite flow of everything that is possible. Much love brother .deep inquiry.

We don't claim the mountains to be ours, we don't claim the ocean, the clouds, the rain the volcano to be ours. We don't claim the neighbor's dog to be ours, we don't claim that other person's body to be ours, we don't claim......and I can list to infinity, but why not, we claim passing happiness to be ours, passing suffering and impersonal joy and pain to be ours. We practice neti neti and self inquiry that says we are not the body/mind/thoughts but all of a sudden we want to own happiness, suffering, sadness, joy, bliss, even competence, confidence and every other impersonal adjective and emotion that's just minding it's business and being itself. It's my happiness, my suffering, my anger, my depression, my joy, my love, my hate, my this and my that but that's your dog.

Why this interest in the occultism? You can get only opinions and have to decide on your own if it is legit or not. Modern day Occultism is usually associated with witchcraft and black magic. But when the term came to light it was synonym with esoteric. Occultism means hidden. Exoteric is for the masses and esoteric is for the elect. Some practices/knowledge are not meant for the ego-human to have. As the ego will most likely use it for selfish gain. Selfish=black, unselfish=white. Magic = the use of spiritual/fpsychic/mental forces. Now if there is even a small self interest in the use of magic then it will automatically be black magic. So i could bless my enemies, not to humble them for my benefit, but from the knowing that they are the impersonal Self. Now I know enough of my own egoic trickery so wouldn't do that, there is always some sort of selfishsness underneat my intentions. That is why i avoid any kind of "magic", to avoid unnecessary stuff to myself/others. Obviously you didn't ask for the definition for occultism/black magic. Whether it is fake or not? It is fake spirituality. In a sense that it takes away from realizing your Self, inwhich is the bullseye of everything spiritual. If it is black magic, then maybe it can acttually take you "further" apart from the Self. Is there magic in masonry? I dont know. Haven't studied it. They maybe get connections and a community from it. Dont know if they need magic. But what would an actual black magician do with freemasonry? The magician would infiltrate the society at its beginning. Hide the spiritual knowledge by creating degrees of initation, promising more knowledge at every level, maybe sprinkling some of its true doctrines but hiding the best stuff away forever, adding meaningless rituals etc. A black magician is attracted to the light of spirituality as a moth is to light. They infiltrate and blow fairy dust in the seekers eyes. Hidding the truth, ego on steroids. The definitions above are theoretical and over a century old. There are modern definitions, but i believe they have been created by modern selfish-egos. As i go by these rules, i do not touch upon any of this stuff, as i am somewhat aware of the depth of my selfishness. I could go describe how nerves of nature/centers of energy react to thoughts but it is meaningless. As far as i am concerned it is bogus for me at the moment, and you can believe that i just took all these words from my behind. Advice: Be present in the eternal Now.

Life feeds on drama. Doesn't matter how evil you are, how controversial, hold anti-human beliefs, hatred for certain sectors of humanity, spew out racism, prejudice and promote war you will get the attention you crave. People don't fight for what they are for but what they are against. People don't focus on things that are doing well, they focus on things that are doing bad. One example of this is the Charlie Kirk thread. More power to that beast and keeping his name alive and legacy lived on by people who hated what he stood for. This is what humanity does and why people like him will continue to do what they do because they'll always get attention for it and any attention is better than none. That thread has 75,000 views in the space of 11 days. That alone should tell you something and it's still counting and going strong. So many people out there trying to do good for humanity and they go unnoticed and taken over by the ones who couldn't care less, this includes the Donald. Look how popular he is. I lost faith in the system a long time ago. There's nothing to fight for anymore only to realize life is impersonal and can go either way.

This is utterly and totally impersonal. Nothing is happening to, for against, about and witnessed by anyone. It is totally magical but not for the sense that observes itself. It's observing itself being itself and is totally oblivious to the fact that it's a mirage. Once this has totally collapsed and is seen by the seeing energy, that energy will have a total existential crises within itself. All illusion.

You cannot read up about God, learn about God, realize God, study God, prepare for God, practice God and turn God into a process. There is no God, just what's simply appearing. What energy is being, including it's silly notion of worshipping itself and trying to realize itself. Call energy God if you like because that's all God is, energy. It's happening in "real time", timelessly. It's fucking raw and unfiltered boundless and impersonal and it's immediate, meaning there's no space between anything. The reading up of God and the studying of God is also God, so this is not a teaching to say one must stop reading up on God or study God because that's also God/energy.

I feel so bad to see the delusion of equating awakening/enlightenment as supposing to bring happiness and bliss. People invent all sorts of ideas to try to feel better about this impersonal existence. Trying to cope, to have something to look forward to, hope, something other than this. This can seem like a horrible place yes, if there's someone seeming to witness it. Life isn't horrible to life, it just is and with all of the monstrosities and all. It can feel terrible, that sense of self, the sense of a separate human being that lives in a world that needs to be protected and fights to feel safe. It doesn't feel good. Feeling like one has their back up against the wall will make that individual resort to many things and humanity has faced this over and over again and has systematically constructed all sorts of things to overcome this feeling including enlightenment and awakening. When you see how the word happiness is usually used in the same sentences when speaking about liberation it's so obvious why these terms including many others were invented - to feel better about their existence. Everywhere you turn it's all about trying to feel happy, why is that?

Yes, an absolute is absolute - but do we really grasp that as itself? Or is it merely intellect? Either way, this is the problem of conflating these domains. A thing gets to exist thanks to its being limited. So when you say something like my hand, that's a particular, and this is what we call relative. Your toes aren't a cup, or a cat, or joy - they're that particular thing. Otherwise, there would be no need to distinguish it from what it is not. So here's a new thought: We live in the relative. The relative is everything. Everything you experience is relative. A thing exists in relation to what is not that thing. And then we have the so-called absolute as a possibility for us to realize. Perceiving may well be impersonal, so the fact that it occurs shouldn't be extrapolated into some observer lurking behind it. We could take a deeper approach here, but with this medium it is tricky. What is experience? What is self?

No, this is an illogical contradiction. Infinity is all; therefore, it is all. All exists. It’s really not much “deeper” than that, but experientially, it’s overwhelming haha. When Leo or we say “God must experience,” it’s just semantics; you can define it better. You have a set of all 10 numbers. That must mean 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 are included, and they must be. If they weren’t, then the set “all 10 numbers” wouldn’t be a set of all 10 numbers. The same goes for infinity. Infinity means it has all, therefore freedom and restriction, horrors and goodness, self and lack of it, etc. If infinity couldn’t contain horrors or wouldn’t want them, then it would be limited by that, and it wouldn’t be infinite or free. (Again, when I say these human things like “want to” or “experience this,” it’s anthropomorphizing infinity.) Infinity is much more “impersonal” in that way. You can think of it more as a necessity or tautology. That’s really it!

Even when I don't say this in a specific statement like the one responding to the OP, I'll be accused of saying it then, even if my remark didn't. I don't recall in my response saying, "nothing is happening and there's no one here". I recall saying nothing is personal and that there's no one in these bodies. It's quite obvious if you take the me out the picture. So obvious. If there was a person inside that body that made that post crying out for help and advice on how to deal with torture, it would fucking know exactly how to deal with the feelings that emerged. Asking advice upon advice plagues the world and people clueless about themselves and you still there's a person in these bodies that have autonomy and free will but yet keep asking others what to do about their existence. No one is in there PERIOD. It's just a bunch of ideas, stories, programs and it's all mechanical. We're like robots except robots didn't come out of a pussy or a stomach. They were borne another way that seems more impersonal and so we can't see the similarities and we're very arrogant creatures.

Doesn't matter. Youre assuming I don't feel pain and feel like a human. You're assuming I'm saying I'm a dead weight that doesn't have feelings. You're assuming that I've never had things happen to me and how I was la-de-la-da about shit. You don't know what my experience has been like. You don't know what this body has gone and been through. You think I'm just speaking like an Absolutist and going off of non-duality bullshit. Let me tell you something, you have no idea so don't tell me UNTIL IT HAS FUCKING HAPPENED TO ME. You didn't even ask me first if it has happened to me but you're saying until.....this is how I know you're just emotionally responding. Responding to who you don't know other than some forum talk. I haven't been tortured, no, I'm not saying that. What I'm saying is I have a deep understanding of what's going on here and I'm not going to fucking butter it up to suit human fucking ego like yours who just wants to feel good and be in bliss all the time. Life doesn't work that way. You're a delusional energetic structure that is part of the whole yes, but that's what makes you delusional, you have no idea who or what you are, and you want to PROJECT that unto "others". I won't let you or others drag me down into the pot of boiling water with your delusions and spiritual fantasies. Nothing specific has to happen to me for me to recognize or realize certain things. If your best argument against truth is "until it happens to you", then truth is not what you fucking seek. It's to feel, better about the impersonal experience you're having and resisting what is to soothe that miserable dis-eased egoic structure wrapped around that tightly constricted and contracted energy that is so tightly woven together it cannot free itself be cause it's too wrapped up into what it thinks it is - someone with a life that lives in a universe people and that needs to change itself and the world so it can feel good about it's non-existence and illusory nature called a fucking self. Go away and let me be. I'm not with your stupid clan of arrogant and narcissistic, delusional, neurotic clan of humans that cannot take a little suffering and always searching for some feel-good chemical to soothe that crying baby syndrome you all have because you think the world was made for you and your family to be comfortable in and be happy all the time. Life doesn't see you and your silly human games of "I wanna feel good", so go away with that and let me be in my impersonhood and take whatever life is throwing my way because I'm 'awakened' enough to realize it's not about me because I'm just imagining my personhood and I'm OK with it. It's not personal.

@Princess Arabia Remember Your words if it is ever happening to You, hopefully it never does.. This is the problem with the Absolutist such as Yourself, everything is impersonal because nothing exists, until it happens to You then everything is personal.. This is no good on the spiritual or non dual or path you describe as then the person which does exist doesn't deal with where they are right now, Blissful on the beach or being Tortured as in the end everything is Personal, hence why You will reply!

It's funny. We are playing this game and yet I know you. I have watched you over the years. And you are the very best at discerning the Absolute vs the relative. And you know that the Absolute is literally no self and no other. So why is Solipsism something different then that? Because no self or other is impersonal? Is Absolute Mind or God impersonal? You bet it is. But it's also extremely paradoxical and personal. It is sentient. And it is omniscient. And it can love. The problem God has is it just realizes it is absolutely alone. All other collapses into God. You. And you are left- sentient - alone. But that's OK. Because tomorrow you will dream again

Why does someone need to change their smoking habit or any other habit. Says you. Life is impersonal. The man was right. You're also attached to your ideas about the life and the world. One says smoke another says don't, both are attachments. No judgement either way is neutrality. That's natural.

Letting go ≠ getting rid of. If you drop a bag of bricks it will fall to the ground, but it is still going to be there. So, just let the anger be there. Don't resist it. Feel it fully. Feel it in all of its raw, amazing, ineffable power. Don't look at it as something that "shouldn't be there"; rather perceive it as an impersonal force of nature that is simply rising to the surface and discharging itself in the present moment, like an electric current that is flowing through your body. It only gets stuck in your body (and your mind) when you try to repress it; if on the other hand you just let it be there, allow it to wash over you and discharge itself, it will eventually run its course and fade away. Does this mean that you need to act on it? No, it doesn't. This is where the art of nondoership comes into play... just feel whatever you feel and stay as outwardly calm as possible in the situation. Express whatever needs to be expressed, but do it in a way that is constructive rather than destructive. Easier said than done? You bet your ass it is. But life just wouldn't be fun without some epic challenges. Good luck.

I also for 5yrs straight, once a year, serviced the Police convention when they came into town. Yes, these were police officers and sergeants. They had a convention every year and for 5yrs they asked me to come back and entertained them. Won't get into the details but it was a party-type situation with booze and liquor in the main room and they all had their own private separate rooms. The main room even had female police officers and judges. They had strippers in the main room for entertainment for like an hour and then I would mingle with them all and stayed till dawn and did whatever. Made like $4,000 one three night trip. Never had intercourse. Teacher's conventions too, fire fighter's conventions, insurance agents conventions, boat shows, wine and beer tasting shows, all types of conventions plus just regular type dates with regular men and even couples doing anything under the sun; different strokes for different folks. So, saying you're an escort or working girl doesn't necessarily equate to a man cumming in some pussy. I had more sex non-working than I did working. Matter of fact, that's why I hooked up on the side because I wasn't having sex and it felt impersonal. The regular guys, only two or three of them for the duration, compensated for intimacy. They all knew what I did, I even lived with one for a few years and no, they weren't pimps. None of that here. I'm just showing how just mentioning escort is just not enough to firm an opinion about this work. It depends on the type of escort and the kind of work involved.

The I that suffers will always knowingly suffer. There’s no escape from suffering, regardless of what James says to the contrary. It’s really okay to suffer, and doesn’t make you any less enlightened. When suffering is recognised to be impersonal, that’s liberation from the false idea it’s personal, that’s all. The knower of suffering is also the known suffering in the exact same instance of knowing. One with the knowing. As knower and known is one thing. Just as there’s no smoke without fire, the smoke is not the fire, so the smoke can only be known to be what it is because the source of the smoke (fire) is known too.

Def agree when it comes to personal relations. In the impersonal sphere, it's each man for himself. If I can get a leg up, I will. There are no friends in business.

@Xonas Pitfall I see what you mean. One thing to take note of is that, if you ask men this question, they'll tell you what they fantasize about that evokes a sexual response because that is what a single man consciously values. But they won't (because mostly they can't) tell you what they really respond to when they fall in love with a woman and want to have a longterm relationship. The conscious agenda of a single man is one of casting the net far and wide... and it's quite impersonal. So, they're going to give you fairly shallow answers if you ask "What are men attracted to?" because men are attracted to fairly surface level things at the outset. But men don't fall in love with what they're attracted to. If you've ever watched porn, that's the level of depth with which they respond to things like tits and ass. It doesn't have a real deep emotional effect on the man, such that it works to bring him closer. What a man responds to in a deeper way is Feminine energy, which in practice means... A woman leaning back into her Feminine energy and giving him space to pursue and woo her A woman being in touch with her feelings without an agenda to manipulate A woman enjoying herself and having fun A woman being open and vulnerable and soft A woman listening and giving space for him to also be a bit vulnerable A woman caring for herself and pouring her energy into herself A woman allowing him to help and feel needed A woman appreciating what she enjoys about him or the things he does But none of these are a way to get a man to be attracted or fall in love. They are not tactics for getting a man, but a way of existing as a woman who wants to experience the joys of the Feminine. But they are also things that happen to create a space for a man that a man desperately longs for. Man-world can be cold and mean. So, men tend to really crave for the softness of the Feminine. So, "How to attract a man?" is not the most effective question to ask. To answer that, it's just to be a woman and to realize that you don't need to do anything at all. But it is in you operating without agenda and just doing what you please that will be magnetic. That's why I said to never try to attract a man. The right man will already be attracted without you trying to attract him. But to deepen the connection and to help him open his heart, just focus on treating yourself like your own beloved and sit comfortably in your Feminine energy... in touch with your feelings and receptive to enjoyment and delight.

Exactly! They don't increase, but reduce brain activity and by this throttle down (and in the case of 5-MEO kill) your mind (with a small m) , and by doing that you get access to broader consciousness ( impersonal one). In the case of 5-MEO your mind (with a small m) is completely shut down and you become Mind (capital M). By this mechanism you get information which seems to be not yours on high doses of LSD (from the Collective Unconscious) or to become God on 5-MEO. The mechanism by which this is happening is a weakening of the Ego or complete destruction (like 5-MEO does) - things which will show up on a CT-scan as a decrease of brain activity. Everything is consciousness in the end, our personal minds are just delimitations in that consciousness and psychedelics are making the borders between personal and impersonal more transparent (disolving them completely in the case of 5-MEO). Ma

Simply working with mind-made definitions can trip up the mind, and peeps get all crazy, contort their minds in arguments, oneupmanship games , and all the rest . So, imo/experience, it is much bettererer to learn experientially, in solitude, taking the time to experiment and see for one's self. The worldly order is so caught up in the levels, definitions, and competition, when in actuality, we're talking about the nuances of waves, layers, subtleties, and self-evident certainty. ALL is NOT TWO, but when using the mind, we can notice and play with DISTINCTIONS. The nuances you speak of can be noticed via meditation, playing with the types of samadhi, referring to the Plotinus model, and contemplating the nuances of the samadhis. This has a twofold effect: it doesn't rely on mind-based stuff to 'verify', so much as to USE the mind to report, leaving it OPEN to notice and explore the 'higher, more subtle' nuances.... CONSCIOUSLY. In the system of samadhis, 'nirvikalpa ' is often considered 'the highest level' with respect to meditation due to its degree of 'emptiness'. Note that this is not Realization per se, since we're talking states here. Hard core meditators seem to like to tinker with these, compare and contrast, and share nuances to play with: savikalpa, sabija, nirbija.... whole bunch of them, but I didn't tinker or experiment with that many of them consciously (just took it on as an interest). If one is looking at Plotinus' model, one will see that with meditation, folks are typically playing in the existential waves of the SOUL level, shifting back and forth between personal and impersonal consciousness (or a bit higher, up into the higher self/ 'Intellect' (Nous- not to be confused with left-brainish/intellect) on occasion, maybe picking up some of the energetic woweezowees, or some cool, peaceful clarity. Whereas, experience would be more of the physical nature, in which the environment, society, jobs, running errands, etc are interacted with via mind (Note: all this can be a form of meditation, too, mind you). Nirvikalpa samadhi is basically just consciously 'emptying' the content of consciousness (mouthful, hehe) to a pinpoint-like state, but again, it is not realization per se. It is more like high-level Nous in Plotinus' model, perhaps even floating up there 'next to' The One, somewhat "consciously knocking on the door", hehe. The shift into realization of The One is noticeable, but oddly not that 'memorable' in itself (for want of a better word), though the effects are noticeable on the mind, in the quality of grounding in 'experiential life', etc. It was during one of these forays in which the mind was informed that Realization is acausal; "I" can't force 'my' way into The One ('I/me' are not even present). Meditation is more like a 'making oneness prone' to realization. They say prayer is like talking to 'god/The One'; whereas, meditation is like listening.... receptive. For mind-locked folks trying to figure it out, it can seem paradoxical, and peeps get all worked up for nothing, giving in to unconscious desires to dominate, be right, be the best, knock down others, find more whatever, and all the rest. Tranquiiiiillooooo. However, once it is fully Realized that "form is formlessness, formlessness is form", one has settled the mind into its secondary role. and is in a more-or-less 'normalized', awareness-state of sahaja samadhi type of dealio, one is much more aware of when one has consciously touched/entered mind and via which the dualities are at play. Life is much smoother, even when confronting the vagaries of life (i.e., right HERE, right NOW). As such, nirvikalpa samadhi is seen, not as moot, nor even all that necessary at all, but still nice, especially saaaay, before a long day of interacting with a large group of close family members who may be a bit at odds with each other! On those kinds of day, the waves of existence can get a bit tumultuous, and the tempests are rearing their sirens. Good to notice the potential pattern in advance, fear not, and go in grounded in/as awareness. Tranquiiiilooooo... The Peaceth that Passeth ALL Understandingeth.....

Depends: 1. If the thought hypnotizes, then maya. If it moves through ones Infinite Being like the wind, non-grasping, non-hypnotizing, its essence seen immediately once arising out of ones Infinite Being, as ones Infinite being: then the manifestation of the Absolute in the form of a nongrasping/non-hypontizing conceptual thought. Although, paradoxically, there is only Absolute Being and its dream-arisings/mere apperances, either hypnotizing/maya/gripping, or non-gripping/non-hypnotizing. It is fully realizing what one can never not be. What Reality is. Not as idea, but as always available realization, beyond any possible doubt. Because that would just be more thought dream-arisings happening within ones True Infinite Eternal Reality/Being. Besides which nothing can exist. That which is always the case. Truth/Absolute has to be present always, even in Deep Sleep. That gives an idea how utterly empty and non-personal, yet real and permanent/timeless Absolute Reality is. Koan: What is Deep Sleep? What is present in Deep Sleep and right now also? Necessarily always and eternally so? Truth. Unborn. Ones True Infinite Eternal Being. Infinite Consciousness/Being. Giving rise to all manifestations/arisings as the Clear Light of mere dream appearance, lucid and ultimately empty of self-existence. Infinite Consciousness/Being, dreaming all possible realms, dreaming all illusion-beings. Utterly impersonal, silent in its raw-state, and eternal and unborn in time. An Infinite Abyss/Opening, yet containing all possible appearances and realms arising within this Opening of Reality. And yet giving rise to illusion arisings/appearances of personal, separation, center, location, Maya. And of course all words/pointers are based on Duality, and ultimately fail. So, much more precise than pointers are Koans. Like: Koan: Who exactly is asking this question again? Who or what is this Openess/Opening? Selling Water by the River

Is > direct experience > process (self is included here). Being might be absolute. I'm just making something up here. When you say "a being," it makes me wonder whether you're actually referring to 'self' - to what we think we are - since you seem to be holding being as an entity. Being could also be thought of as what is, prior to the existence of an entity. Impersonal, in a sense. Maybe. It seems that what we generally mean by 'experience' is perceiving something - "I see the pineapple, so I'm experiencing it."

OK, before we proceed any further in any discussion, I have a question, but first a tl;dr background for what gives rise to it. There was a man in human form who was very very dear to me. He was the most reliable, trustworthy figure one can imagine. I was lucky to have him in my life as a core human being. Throughout life, when I was growing up, as I watched television, played in the streets with friends, went to school, played soccer/futbol, basketball, built tree houses with friends, worked on my grandparents farms, met and dated quite a few ladies, and thousands of other eventful things in life, my mind was shaped, molded, conditioned in ways that went beyond this amazing human being's mental structure to fully understand where on earth I was coming from. To be clear and up front, I was a friggin mess by the time puberty took hold, and the unconscious beliefs structure was on full autopilot. That is, I didn't understand where I was coming from either. I took advantage of that kind, thoughtful, and devotional human being as I went in search of more, which led to a downfall, which led to a collapse, which led to a complete realization & 'rebirth' I can barely put into words but for the ancient literature and deeply non-dual speerchal pointers that give it the language and contextual meaning it can. What got up from that utter devastation, rose from the dust whiter than any gown, took account of all the nonsense the 'previous self' had put so many through, and learned to speak my heart and truth. It was a profound shift. a profound dropping of a MASSIVE weight that had slowly been added over the years/decades/millenia (poor Atlas), and I was no longer interested in creating a stone to roll up a hill, only to have it rolled back down again (poor Sisyphus). Life was precious, and the mind games were just too clearly seen. The journey back was via a looooong stint in higher education in which I worked/managed programs in the field of cognition and intercultural communication and with thousands of students, women/men, etc deeply delving into what was learnable/unlearnable, how learning takes place (methodology), and deeply aware of how to keep a deep sense of respect and trust at the forefront so that we could continue to explore those tricky boundaries where theory meets the flow of the river of consciousness into which all apparent individuated streams flow. I took responsibility mistakes, became more aware of where the boundaries pop up and so on and so forth, learning how to navigate perspectives and intercultural dynamics of three continents. To sum up, it was pretty fucking thorough series of tests and consolidation patterns for informing the mind of the depths of non-dual realization. Durgint he whole time, I never once even brought up the topic of non-duality, nor really even read a lot about it... didn't really feel the need to.... just let it emerge and slowly works its magic, free of conceptualizations. Almost effortless, except for the trials and tribulations of existence. Life just kept unfolding, regardless of the mind's protests. Clarity on that was it's own reward, and all of the nonsense I used to invite, nurture, carry, and even defend... just fell away. Peace. During that time, the mind was extraordinarily humbled, to be sure, in awe really. It was somewhere in the midst of all that, that my father and I got into a massive argument (which were quite rare). But, at the time, I was making a stand as a man, an individuation with a pretty honestly structured reality that just made perfect sense to me and with respect to how the world might benefit from it. But the problem was that it was at odds with his (at least at the time). I had never really stood my ground, so it was something quite novel, and was indicative of a destruction of our previous alignment as simply father and son. He struggled deeply with it, but I held my ground.... peacefully, aware that it was just two structures of thought rubbing up against each other, but juuuuust porous enough to potentially learn from each other. I pointed that out, and expressed my deepest love, respect, and admiration for him.... pure gratitude for his being. I could tell no one had ever done that with him, especially after such an argument. Our relationship was forever changed, deeper, more respectful,... even though agitated at times. But, he knew I wasn't just a lost, mindless, and disrespectful son... I was at home with who and what I had 'become'. Two or three years later, I was participating on an online forum mostly dedicated to non-duality where ideas that are in the orbit around it are fully fleshed out. There was a guy there that was often so clear about his structured take on things, and were often at odds with any of the basics of a Non-duality 101 course. No biggie, it's often a struggle for minds to come to terms, and it's often a deeply misunderstood realization (which makes perfect sense.... minds are fickle AF). During one of the exchanges, someone brought up the term "Asperberger" which I was only vaguely knowledgeable of, so due to my natural curiosity, I decided to take a deeper look. It hit me pretty hard as I learned more and more about it, it hit me hard that it defined my Dad's life trajectory almost to a T. And he knew nothing about it (he was a hard core engineer, deeply involved in mind-splitting maths and specialized in radio frequency structures....like a friggin genius "Beautiful Mind" type of thing. Don't get me started. It shed light on the 3-4-5 major arguments we'd ever had that seemed (to me at the times) to just pop up out of nowhere. Even more, it shed light on what it must have been like for my mother, who was one of the most devoted, supportive, and loving people in the world.... truly. But the problem was, they rarely if ever saw things in the same way, never could just have a heart-to-heart, and often the conversations ended intense micro-burst arguments, followed by quiet, highly enriched periods of silence... detente's of sorts. That idea of relationship was deeply ingrained in my psyche in various ways, and it was altogether a blessing to have even that, consciously exposed and brought up for conscious examination, to be allowed to just fall away. Sure, it shed light on the constant interface and relation with life, and even to the most intimate day-to-day interpersonal relationship with my best friend. It has enriched and enabled me to have an extraordinarily deep, conscious, and loving relationship with my wife for 25+ (and counting). Out of 4 brothers, I am the only one who is still married, and happily so, but not because I am special. It's because of that special realization and the subsequent and continued falling away of so much the structured nonsense that bubbles up from deep within the psyche, regardless of what theory (ND, psychology, philosophy, or otherwise) says: I know what I don't know, and I know how the mind, with all its conditioned baggage (personal, familial, cultural, shared, human) can get in the way, can sabotage what is a gift, can obscure what's self-evidently clear, and can give rise to contraction from/as the glorious unfolding of Infinity.... just as it is. I have agreed with you on so many points because I think you are openly, honestly, and courageously exploring things of this nature (it's rare), trying to put forth a positive all-inclusive approach... perhaps 'after' SEEING somenothing that has compelled you to express its profundity. I've been pleasantly curious. But then, here, you isolate such an 'existentially speaking' innocuous line out of so much other detailed agreement, and seemingly take it personally. Then you continue on in the same vein of 'logic' as before, and that seemingly wants to portray objectivity and/or an impersonal tone in your ongoing description of "limitless absolute infinity" (and all the rest). All the while, evidently, you seem dead sure to rights what unknown people, some dead for thousands of years. were 'open to' or not. I simply don't know and, while there might be some interest in the discussion (so I point out where it may/may not diverge from Truth seeking), it doesn't really matter... what matters is if the mind is open to and truly understands what the Realization is telling it as 'real' life continues to unfold in 'realtime'. So, my question is, do you have Aspergers?