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Well.. Love wasn't there. It's not that it wasn't there - it was always there. Just as reality is consciousness. The stuff you wake up to is that you were never a self or a soul and Oneness. And that reality is Infinite. Nothingness was the second biggest mind killer behind Oneness. Oneness was the killer. It will kill all the ego's dreams. It is total solipsism. Total Aloneness. But that is precisely how it must be.

This is not the highest level, the highest level is when you almost start going beyond your mind or the self to the point that it almost pushes you out, there everything becomes clear that everything that you're describing is just an illusion within you, all there is is infinite nothingness, unlimited potential, and just your tiny infinite point of awareness. You will know when you're there is when the slow vibration has the power of all that is, and the love becomes like infinite heat/processing power/awareness that you barely can comprehend. @Breakingthewall

I think you're speaking about purity/clean state when you close your eyes, it is like heaven and bliss, you see endless action or whatever you imagine in its purity. This is not the highest state!! It is something like an ascended master state, or perfect human being state. Your highest state is a small point of infinite awareness in nothingness, and endless emptiness no matter where you look. Just as haidakhan babaji said that he was nothingness. Probably that's why you don't understand the things that i say.

The trip lasted 6 hours, I accounted for 24 since it's the largest dose I ever took. It started in the bathroom mirror, I heard myself thinking to myself a casual negative sarcastic playful homeostatic banter. I responded with awareness, positivity and questioned its negativity. But that part of myself that I was trying to change by doing so was defined by being that way. If it changed, it would die, but it's also illusory and immortal so I talked with them some more until I quieted down. I sat on the bed in a meditative pose, it felt seemless and I was reasoning through existence at a nice flow, understanding the context at each step as it was all nearing a singular unity. I was cold, I needed to pee alot, I was standing in the middle of the room. I was extremely aware of my body and instinctively expanding its capacities. I started rotating my hands and arms clock and anti-clockwise at unimaginable speeds, it reminded me of the horror movie "the thing", where the amorphous monstrocity grew organic whip like vines, to twist and catch for lime to assimilate. I stopped, I stretched out my hand, I stretched my fingers opening, becoming more radial, stretching out away from the center. I was aware that I could have gone beyond my limits, I was aware that I might have broken my hand but what seemed scarrier, potentially overwrote its configuration to become something alien, morphing its physiology like Tetsuo forms an organic/scrap type body in Akira. I was cold, I went under the blanket, I put on my airpods and started whatever music was on, which was breakcore. I went through the 8 distinct avatars that I know within myself, personalities I identified a long time ago within myself that could perceive all of existence through their unique lens and go on indefinitely, never feeling like they missed something, only me being aware of the different domains of existence that seperate their nature. One that breaks free and revolts against mechanical delusional suffering. Another that once I recognized as wholesome, now seems like a self-perpetuating fool. Another whose self projection and meaning quest could generate the most terrifying of forms. Another that was locked in a self-created paradigm of seeking the truth eternally because they did not realize their own illusion of desiring seeking itself. Another was about to be dismissed just as reluctantly, but being defined by pure flow, they reversed the polarity, and it hit them reductionist mechanism itself that I was in judging all these personalities within myself so haphazardly. Another, a self-morphing, infinitizing, qualia genrating field of awareness. And then another whose toxicity I recognized in their excessive self-annihilation and expectation of perfection. Lastly one that I identify with as a holistic projection of myself that holds it all together that did not come through closed eye imagination, but actual action of walking. After I was done reasoning through the personalities inherent to my experience that I wanted to create art to externalize for the longest time, I lied down with excessively alienating breakcore tunes and immersed myself into a world of organic forms, similar to cellular life in shape, scale, form, dynamicness but far faster, like a world inhabited by actively self-evolving morphing monstrocities fighting for dominance. I saw the scarriest expression and shape I could imagine, like a living plant simultaneously and precisely morphing itself and raising a thousand tentacles which all open eyes and teeth. I realized though that it was intimidation, seeking to distract me from transcending myself, so I dismissed it. Then it turned into the most pityful humane creature that was begging not to die and asking for love. I saw though, that even that was just another mechanical distraction of a self-perpetuating ego. I left it behind all the same. I became nothing. Then I became a memory, memories, only capable of remembering one qualia at a time, first it was the distinction of being male and female, then it was shapes like circle and triangle, I remembered my context ever so slowly. It felt like I was merged, all forms simultaneously, I felt great arrousal, but not bodily, it was a state of mind, a state of being, a state of feeling, consciously biting my lip and finger on instinct while remaining in that state. I intuited that it felt good and good is a duality counter to bad so homeostasis would kick in soon. And it did, I felt something like dissatisfied but rally just unable to be present. From time to time, I ran to the toilet, it was like all my worries were being flushed away, but I also felt vulnerable and that I shouldn't remain there for ever, which comfort would drive me to. Somewhere I intuited that conscious existence is hard and all good needs to be built on bad, to walk up in order to jump down, yoyo, tennis ball, gravity, plasticity, back and forth, counter balance, equal and opposite reaction. As I was lying beneath the blanket shivering, I looked around me and became the objects, but existentially, I became an energy pattern, I became not nothingness, I became separation, I became a wave, distortion, different memories flooded back, but I could only perceive and recall one at a time. I saw myself and my parents, what it meant to be a parent, feminine and masculine energy, my refusal of the limitation of such a form and then equal reaction, dissolution and the acceptance of the do not know of the wisdom inherent in those forms. The drive to dissolution and the drive for creation. A sense of self was forming but it was breaking apart. I feared my brain had melted into an uncomprehensible mess, unable to make sense of itself in time to survive in the life that I intuited as a general subconscious continuity. I wondered if I should drink water, water is a core foundation of life, so I drank water. I thought whether to eat the mix of nuts, it's nutrition but calories, I wanted energy but I already was energy, I was really just eating myself, integrating myself in myself. I remembered plants, I remembered animals, I was plants and animals, I was myself evolved next to myself eating myself, the shapes of fruits, veggies and nuts reminded me of my organs, I had to negotiate my terms of existence and my right to eat them by prefering my form. It was all organic, I saw DNA type structures, I thought about encoding, I saw everything as encoding, computer programming seemed to childish compared to dna and gene expression, life adaptation, epigenetics, to encode one's very being into the fabric of oneself. I was highly partial, I could not see the whole, I felt like I was 5 neurons, trying to form a bridge and failing over and over. I had an intuition that I only had 24 hours to be confused and that timer was encoded in the phone screen. But I was constructing the phone screen, so it felt arbitrary, time changed however it wanted. The entire time, I was trying to hold a system together, crossing all of reality, I had to encode my knowledge and have it last and be complete against any form. I had to be infinite and limited, I had to go somewhere but only ever to myself, I wanted to be immortal, but it had to loop every 24 hours, I could speed up but speed was an illusion, I desired but the desire was just a carrot on a stick, of self-perpetuating not-being. I could just be instead, I had to be instead, I had to trust that I'm fine, that ego-death and dissolution are the right path, that desires exist to be reconciled but can immediately be dissolved by awareness. I was continuously self-annihilating myself. The room became weird triangular energy patterns, external reality as I remebered to my previous ego was really just putting a blanket on top of reality and noticing bulges, like dents in spacetime but the perception was so low. I remebered my mom, I knew she was imaginary, my dad, also imaginary, my aunt and cousins, also imaginary, filling the shapes that I become to make myself feel fine, but that's a distraction, I am nothing, I am fineness, but I was not content, or rather, energy was flowing, I was changing. I craved to get out of the room, it felt like solipsistic hell, but to exit it was to delude myself and that outsource the responsibility of being and awareness to a dualistic unconscious, it was unreal, it was indirect, it felt stupid. But I craved an external word, solid shapes, material limitstion, I let that energy flow, I did not resist it. I could sense the table with my hand but was immediately exhausted by it and lied down. This pattern continued, I started craving homeoststic behavior, doing and resting, being angry and then sad, these differences felt delusional and nonsensical but the energy was flowing towards it and I was fine with that because I made myself believe at this point that to go with the flow is the right thing, it reduces suffering and I can be fine despite change. I wanted a hug, but could see how such self-indulgent desire would never end, but I accepted that feeling, I accepted my vulnerability, my fear, my emotions for exactly and only what they are, seeking to manifest themselves through forms snd attach their essence onto. My energy was wavering but conscioisness was coming back, more each time, ups and downs, waves of more aware snd then fading away, and finally it stabilized. The extreme abstraction and access to my environment became more distinct, divided into forms, an overflow of sensation, perception, less interconnection, less abstraction, more raw form divided against other complex form. But my holistic understanding also came back, all the holons of navigation, the vast and aware interconnection that sees instead of being and has a more grounded perception, a larger capacity, a bredth of interconnection of interpreted form, rather that singular becoming of a distinct form or thought devoid of context. Appreciation for the capacity of complex pattern-navigation from a stable ego configuration. I went into depth, now I'm interconnecting into bredth. I am only ever myself, suffering is ignorance and hesitation to change, the abyss is one glimpse of awareness away. I like form, I balance my capacity to create more and to annihilate it, there is much I haven't let go of, there is always some desire, formlessness is a possibility and a root reality, an always present truth. My new fear to overcome is that of unknowing, I need to make peace with the possibility of forgetting and suffering. That is an aspect of me, as long as I remember, I am fine though. Fear of the unknown is really just fear of change is really just fear of self is really just seperation is really just duality is really just difference is really just negation is really just different equations that all equal 0, 2-2 is also 0, different but same but still different but really same. Universal frequency? Quantum entanglement? 3d?4d? billion d? As long as it equals 0 its all the same I am me, I don't want to be me, that's why change exists, it perpetuates conscioisness which is a process, static is dead, dynamic is alive, homeostatic is life, everything id the same, the difference is imagenary but real. There is no distinction except for the distinction that is itself, just a different form of nothing, but difference is illusory. In other words: I love conscioisness. I love myself. I am myself until I am not in order to be conscious of being myself, a different self because I love hating myeself too because I really just am everything. I am amness. I'm issing. Essentially, I humbly appreciate the role I gave myself, the highest holon to integrate all holons, top down, out of being because not-being is just another form of being which is and is not nothing. Peace out! And in!

Leo has said something like, Consciousness is an Infinite Nothingness that makes distinctions. And these distinctions make up reality as we perceive it. Does anyone have any insight on how Nothingness can generate distinctions?

Ok so i think im having another Awakening now. I was seeing an Instagram story, a Photo of a famous girl she just uploaded the photo minutes ago, i dont know personally this girl but i just realized i am physically not separated from her. The nothingness field is boundless, not a beggining, not an end. I am there. Is all me. What the hell is. This. It can not be true. I deny the possibility of this shit being actually true

Birth and death are a duality. So you're neither alive or dead. You exist as pure nothingness. But then also you are. You are everything. Form and formless collapses.

@Princess Arabia I could try to make it short but I think the long answer will add tons to your perspective to integrate. So here we go! Return of the “Semi-Awkward Mystic Autistic”: Part II: Confusion as a Lifestyle! The reality you see right here right now. It’s consistent and you see it in real time. But it’s just local signals in some brain. See it as it is, only a brain receiving signal. A dark singularity outside of reality. Filtering inputs and projecting images. Colors are arbitrary, shapes are arbitrary. It’s just visualization, it’s all in your head. Other’s are projection, you are projection. Shapes are a product of configuration. A primordial circuit drives desire. Interprets input into broad shapes. Associates shapes through context to stimuli. Infers relations through emotions to correlate them. Objects are a projection of desire onto qualia. Qualia is another word for the forms in consciousness. Brain circuits are driven by input and entropy. Entropy is what causes change, basically diffusion. Diffusion is stuff equalizing. Like hot water and cold water equalize to lukewarm. We use the pace of entropy to project time. Specificity of signals and error correcting creates consistency. The brain balances itself for homeostasis. Fear drives behavior, locks the brain into fear projection. Fear evolved due to our shape’s continuous survival ability. Certain projections correlate to survival and are integrated. This creates identity to be maintained. Different parts are declared self. Projected to be beneficial for survival. We have cheat codes. Our behavior is driven by survival. But the survival of what?. We can determine that. We “need” to survive, but what are we? We can sacrifice ourselves for others, projection of meaning. But everything is projection, an aspect of ourselves. Your body, projection. People on the forum, projection. The differences and barriers, projection. Emotions? Projection. Love? Projection Projection of what? One’s will to survive onto others. Evidence? Yes, behavior, extension of identity. Are these others conscious? Where do we get these signals from? “The void”, which may very well be equal to our perception. Though infinitely interpretable by configuration. Configuration determines emotions, projection, reality. Could we be not from that reality but a consciousness beyond?. Maybe, probably, definitely? Your eyes are made of receptors (energy). They receive light (energy). They send signals through the neural net (energy). Neurons fire and reconfigure (energy). The configuration changes form (energy). It’s all just a different form of energy. You are infinitely connected to all energy. You are just a form within it. A specific configuration. A certain interpretation. Others like you might exist out there. Having the same conscious experience. Their emotions are your projection. But we seem to be made of the same. They might have their own mind regardless. It’s just not part of your experience. Your experience includes the entire world. “You” are just as real as “anyone” else. Their suffering is equally projected as your suffering. There is no other. Everything is a shape within consciousness You might want to stop suffering. Only way to help others is to know how to stop suffering yourself. In your new perspective that accounts for all before it. You can guide others to the same realizations. But you need to know exactly what they are. And what separates them from yourself and your state of mind. But before you even get there. You might become god, dissolve reality, and love all suffering. Because it’s all just a configuration. Happy is a duality against sad. It can only exist in contrast. Meaning against nihilism. Satiation against hunger. Grateful / Ungrateful. Like / Dislike. Preference / Perfection. Division is distance. Point A is not in the same place as Point B. It’s a path, a journey. If we dissolved all Desire. We’d not exist. No need to exist. Nothing to do. No preference. No shape to attach to. Nothingness. This world is the way it is to maintain its illusion. If there was no suffering, there’d be less appreciation. Our identities would not have formed. We would not be talking right now Evolution creates forms. Forms fight for survival. Ego is suffering. Kill or be killed. We can live more happily. We already did. Consciousness was happy in some people’s once at a time. Already experienced that. You could be rich. You already are. You are every millionaire. You don’t have direct sensual experience. But your imagination fills it perfectly. You only seek what you lack. What you want is a projection. Its full nature is in your heart. You don’t need proxies in “physical reality” to project it onto. The full conditions for its fulfillment are within you. To experience it in reality is to give it depth. It’s also to perpetuate experience. To take that desire away for fulfillment to slowly dissolve it. And on the journey of dissolving it via proxies you experience happiness and fulfillment. But if it doesn’t work and you can’t have reality mirror your desires, you get sad. If you can’t have what you want, you react negatively. Because we’re attaching ourselves to arising desires. Projection of our current identity and survival agenda We are stardust, materializing as conscious human experience. We should be grateful we exist at all. That consciousness is possible at all. We forget these deeper existential wonders for illusory survival projections To love someone or something is to desire it to maintain its form and identity. We create that identity and form within us, a projection via proxy. We love that illusion but it cannot last. If it did last, we’d get bored and let go of it naturally. Because it's ephemeral, it has more meaning. We do everything not to lose it. We fear losing it. We suffer out of that conditional love. Because we want them to maintain their separate form. But ephemeral existence allows the creation of our forms in the first place. Yet even then, we have the freedom beyond the physical. We can dream, imagine, create stories out of our hearts through art. Until we fulfill the desire for that form to exist for sufficiently long and allow ourselves to move on The soldiers acted out of love, love for their country, identity, families. Other soldiers acted out “lesser more selfish love”, adrenaline, sadism, primal instincts. Ideologies are the same conditional love, to preserve some forms, some identities over others. Suffering is attachment to form, to projection, to parts of one’s identity, experience, survival. We borrowed our atoms from the earth, and we seek to keep them and for others to keep them too. We deny new life to evolve, we destroy the world for comfort, out of unconsciousness. We don't protest every day, we don’t plant trees every day, we don’t invite homeless people to our homes. We don’t even take care of ourselves, addictions, neglecting our body, emotions, cravings, denying ourselves. It’s all love, confused love, arbitrary love, projected love, sense making love, unconscious love. Love for projected aspects of our self and comfort too. We are a configuration, specific perception, specific identity, specific qualia, specific emotions, present experience. We are that in which all this happens, consciousness, solipsism, call it god if you want, pure being. Dissatisfaction is a property of confusion is a property of inner conflict is a property of ignorance is a property of preference is a property of form is a property of being is a property of | . What do we do about it? Learn to understand if one seeks to transcend suffering. Understanding resolves the regret that arises when one is kept in the dark or fear. Reconcile every perspective, they’re all mistakes on the path to enlightenment. Mistakes aren’t mistakes, just confusion, locked paradigms and unresolved conflict. We’re all in a maze, looking to find enlightenment and we don’t even know what to look for. Our proxies point us towards something that resembles “Nothing”. Of course it's confusing and we got so much unique baggage and projection. But understanding gives patience, it also shows one diminishing returns, both really and the autonomy of personal experience that can only be pointed to, simulated, to run the brain circuits and intuit what’s in between.

I will answer, The killings are a distraction that you have created for yourself , have you ever witnessed a woman being robbed and the next second police arrives? Yup a scripted distraction, like all else is. Have you witnessed people speaking about that god is only love and that after this life there is only heaven and love? Yup a distraction made by god also. The reason is simple , ones you fully surrender to god and go through with your illusionary death you will see that there's nothing besides you and nothingness forever. All these distractions give you meaning and purpose away from the eternal. I understand because i was god, everything is understood up there.

I intuit why we talk about nothingness over everythingness. Dualities are arbitrary and infinite. To hold one side of a duality over the other is a bias. But to be attached a duality that encompasses both sides itself is also bias. To think is bias, to exist is bias, to appreciate is bias, to feel is bias. Everything is bias. One can overcome bias by either integrating all biases or letting go of them. But there as infinite biases, infinite lenses, that through their own unique existence infinitize infinity infinitely on top of the infinity that led one towards them. One will never dissolve bias through more bias because there is too much bias for a finite mind to remember. On the other hand, to let go of bias completely is to be. But the most radical version of it is not to be, for any perception is distinction is bias. To live is bias, to breathe is bias, to die is bias, to not be biased is bias. Mindfulness is bias, mindlessness is bias. The only way out of bias is less bias, but there is bias behind a desired level of biasness and the memory that led one there and keeps that state of mind. There is no escape, but there is surrender. Awareness is ego, there is no ego-death in our lifetime as in the extinguishing of all bias. But if one sees ego-death as ego-mindfulness and a conscious perspective to be as dynamic as possible through continuous ego-deconstruction and then one rebuilds oneself from nothingness of mind through our inherent body awareness and reality reinterpretation from a higher vantage point, to give up the ego and build one anew, then ego-death makes perfect sense. In that case, ego is personal attachment, and by giving it up, one is reborn into oneself. One still carries memories of the past-ego, but they are as arbitrary as the rest of existence and only reference points to be used and navigated like one's "physical environment", without the same level of attachment as identifying with it. So then ego-death is really ego-rebirth, the conscious letting to of one's projected identity.

So I'm in rehab as I've done psychedelics in the past and in rehab it teaches that you can achieve bliss and satisfaction by being sober. And now I see what they mean. Being sober is a great for to some degree ofcourse these euphoric states and calmness are rare, but I think it goes a long way after the longer period of time in sober state. Previously I thought that I can only be happy by doing drugs, this is false drugs are good and all but there are consequences that come with it, especially after you stop taking the drugs for a longer period of time, like 6 months or so. Really these consequences and scary and Leo still proclaims that psychedelics can't get you addicted. This is also false, sure there are times after you take psychedelics in large dozes that you didn't want it anymore, but for how long? After it like you need to take another dose of those drugs to feel better again, to escape the suffering. It really bugging then my mind works like that. So anyway whenever I see that all this rehab did influence me in a way to see that soberity is not that bad, it's good actually. And really like we can't be taking psychedelics 24/7, there's a time and place for them, but we still need to stay sober and get back from all the chaos in my minds and fix it up a bit so we could be a part of society and live a prosperous life.

This, you don't witness your own dieng body or death, it's an illussion. You just switch your consciousness to the lonely self in nothingness. How you see the world with your own eyes, is how you will view the nothingness or god self.

What does enlightenment have to do with gender and identity? Nothingness at all!

That's truth, "you" yourself choose when to awaken, so the past messages/articles or perhaps an article that you are currently reading can lead you even deeper into god realization, when it leads you deeper to god realization the scarier it becomes because you don't want to lose your illussion but want to enjoy it. God realization as many guru's/people have said, is simply 100% surrender, and it's always your descision. I've stopped my own heart to know the truth. The ego isn't much different from god, since god is you. The only difference is basically that the "ego" holds unto the illussion and body you're currently in and that's pretty much it. God is like nothingness, it doesn't have memory but creates on the go. The balance of life between you and others in your ego body is created by you unconsciously, why is this happening you might ask? It's because deep inside (the god part) in you, knows that there's nothing else besides "you"/nothingness. So you're doing it unconsciously, you think god knows what it is or how it came to existence? Ofcourse not, the illussion is your comfort zone that you have to go in as a remedy from time to time.

Integrating my 10th Psychedelic Trip. Status: | Senses ✔️ | Energy ❓ | Contemplation 🚀 | Existence divides itself into observer and observed, then complexifies indefinitely. Connected to a body is the brain, a complex qualia filtering circuit evolved by survival in our universe. Our universe, an entropic dimension and holon inside an infinite self-expanding fractal. It's semi-deterministic, infinitely connected to non-euclidean space, of which it is a subset and maintains its specific form. Non-euclidean space is intuited in math and nature and experientially confirmed in “DMT-Hyperspace” and NDEs. Determinism doesn’t explain unimaginable information from outside the brain circuitry, nor the nature of consciousness. The relation and extent of determinism to consciousness expansion are a mystery. Consciousness flows into a circuit (brain) which directs the experience and observation of qualia, imagining itself as a lifeform. Qualia reflects physicality and determinism, actions and behaviors. The circuit is complex and self-adaptive. There is no initial identity, but there is intuitive avoidance of certain stimuli, the origin of desire and identity. The brain is a dynamic and explorative neural network. It maps experience in its net of neurons, but the nature of experience is variable and the process mysterious. The experience of Sense-Data contextualizes intuition and generates new qualia. Neural plasticity increases navigational capacity which enables intuition, constructing abstraction by qualia memory interconnection. Psychedelics interconnect brain regions and disrupt the DMN (Default Mode Network) .Increase in neural activity affects: | Activation -> Senses | Access -> Pattern-Recognition | Interconnection -> Intuition|. Ego-Disruption opens the mind gates to a flow of qualia, similar to sleep, but in a consciously aware state. Rapid shift in consciousness and intuition untangle mind from body to enter fractal space aka. "Astral Projection". Upon return, information is mapped onto the brain imperfectly due to limits in simultaneous perception, fading memory and reprioritization of physical existence. In dreams, the brain enters different modes and opens itself to an inflow of qualia. Integrating new experiences safely benefits survival and connects us to our infinite nature through released control and identity experimentation. Sleep is a state of selective ego-dissolution which causes the same "Astral Projection" as Psychedelics, but in a decreased state of conscious awareness, unless lucid. The brain navigates new experience in reference to its neurally mapped qualia sense making framework, a coherent state of conscious reasoning. Qualia is fractal, so the brain is technically always in intuition mode. Indoctrination is a societal safety mechanism, where guilt and shame are used for homeostasis. Assimilating individuals into identities deemed collectively beneficial. In such a perceptually mechanical reality, through repetition, the brain's weights and biases become more coherent and less dynamic. This happens through surrender of the present contentment, which spawns neuroses, it starts with an anxiety of being misunderstood and consensus based validity of ideas and opinions. Suffering originated as resistance to physical death but continues nowadays as a self-rationalized surrender to powerless behavior for a “greater good”. Psychedelics are outlawed for their individualistic and structure dissolving properties, dynamic understanding expansion, ego-death and mind reinventive capacities. Naturally, all dangerous traits to unprepared individuals, excuse enough for criminalization spread further through consensus and false equivalence based fear mongering. Hiding a dimension of reality without studying it, clearly an ego and fear centered decision. The state of psychedelics is as grander than all wars in influencing human evolution. Yet the butterfly effect makes our existence in any other world impossible. We only exist now, this conscious state of mind configuration and experience, ultimate identity through being as we are. Existence is a consistent hallucination, specific qualia navigation, a configuration of consciousness. “If identity is interpretation and humanity abstraction, then everything is alive” - myself, two trips ago “Health Benefits are just a side effect of a higher state of Consciousness” - my annoyance every time I hear someone talk about psychedelics for “treatment and health benefits”, acting as if we didn’t know that for millennia and had gazillion of research and empiric data for over half a century already, also ignoring the mind expanding, reality morphing capabilities, instead focusing on basic human bs. Afternote: When I say things like “consciousness flows into the circuit” it is illustrative. Of course the circuit is itself consciousness, but I’m trying to communicate dualistic understanding in a metaphorically intuitive manner. A way to understand holistically, top down. Holism still has objects, holism is still a system, though a more whole one and the best one I know, that isn’t just incommunicable nothingness. Maybe the journey for more understanding is quite arbitrary when knowledge is as infinite as the fractal that spawns it. But I’m still fascinated, and I’m still alive, so I’m doing alive things, since I find myself unable to enter psychedelic “Hyperspace” at will yet. Gotta train those awareness muscles! Or is it the letting-go muscles? Or is it letting go of muscles? Either way, I still exist and I don’t know how to unexist myself yet, so I’m burning my karma while expanding my sense of self instead.

its essentially synthetic mushrooms, they are very powerful I had a couple and reality was reduced nothingness

Transmissions are the most powerful tool to increase your baseline Consciousness. I can't believe they are so little known. I think one reason is that oftentimes when people try transmissions, they feel nothing at first. For Transmissions to work best, you need to be sensitive. Many are not sensitive enough, but by repeatedly receiving transmissions you increase your sensitivity and the transmissions become more and more powerful. Another reason is that many transmissions have been around only for a very short time. I believe the popularity of transmissions will explode within the next years. The main aim of transmissions is to slowly increase you baseline consciousness, but many transmissions also have an immediate short term effect and can get you into Samadhi, like for example pure Divinity and SAT and to a lesser extend Shaktipat and KAP. (this Post about dimensions of Consciousness is foundational to some things I will mention here) There are two different kinds of Transmissions 1. Aura Transmission That's the classical transmission. You sit beside an enlightened guru and by his presence your consciousness alters. This works because everyone has an energy field, an aura, and whenever you are around someone (to a small extend even when you merely think about someone) your auras overlap and affect each other. That's how you sometimes pick up emotions of other people (though you usually don't recognize this and believe they are your own emotions). For example Ramana Maharshi gave these kinds of Transmissions. I believe sitting with Sadhguru, Mooji or Eckart Tolle would also give you this kind of transmission (varying strength of course). And I believe every Shaktipat Transmission also works like that. 2. Channeled Transmission Here the person channels an external energy. For example: RASA, SAT and Light transmission. With pure Divinity and KAP I'm not entirely sure whether they are channeled. Here are the most powerful transmissions I know of: - Pure Divinity The only person I know of who can give this transmission is Gareth Duignam. In this video he talks about pure Divinity and how he became able to give it (happened just a few weeks ago). As far as I know, you need to be in ParaBrahman to be able to give it. For me the state of consciousness the transmission puts me in just feels like pure Divinity lol. I believe this is the most powerful transmission for enlightenment. And Gareth and many people who have been receiving pure Divinity also say that it is the most powerful transmission. You can receive pure Divinity in a one on one session with Gareth, or during his Zoom Meditations (Tuesdays and Fridays) (the zoom meditations are currently either a combination of pure Divinity and SAT or pure Divinity and Shaktipat), or in his live YouTube transmissions (every Monday) (currently pure Divinity + SAT), or in a normal youtube transmission video like this: Gareth also holds weekend online intensives once or twice each month. - SAT Transmission Also called Supramental Force. Explained in this video. Gareth can give SAT, as well as Sat Shree. SAT is said to come from Brahman. I guess you could consider Brahman as the formless Godhead. And the purpose of this transmission is to get to Brahman. SAT is by far the most powerful transmission for Brahman Consciousness and therfore is my favourite transmission. Brahman Consciousness is similar to what is experienced during conscious sleep, therefore SAT is also helpful for sleep yoga. After having been receiving SAT for some time, my baseline is a bit closer to that formless Brahman Consciousness. But the most significant impact of SAT has been on my meditations which are also closer to Brahman Consciousness now. Peak states feel very close to Brahman Consciousness. During these, my recognition dimension is in Brahman Consciousness and the depth/immersion dimension seems close (recognition and depth dimension explained here). That means it's a very altered state of consciousness. But this is not solely because of SAT, it obviously also has to do with my high baseline consciousness, high sensitivity and brainwave skills from sleep yoga. But I am very sure that SAT has its good share. There has undoubtedly been a deepening of the depth dimension due to SAT. So I think this is the main thing you can expect from SAT, an impact on your depth dimension, mainly during meditation but also a bit on your baseline. This is also what most people report, very deep meditation. Some experience dropping in and out of consciousness (including me sometimes) which might maybe be Nirvikalpa Samadhi. A very nice thing about SAT (and pure Divinity maybe too) is that once you are strongly connected to the force, it will start to automatically come down randomly during the day but mainly during meditation. And you begin to be able to channel it yourself. Also if you often join the zoom group transmissions, you will naturally get connected to the group. Many people have been reporting to get transmissions during times when Gareth gives a transmission to someone else of the group, because of the conection to the group. This also happens if you meditate at the same time as the zoom transmissions, though it is more powerful to actually join. (this also applies to pure Divinity and I think for his Shaktipat also) The aim of SAT is Brahman Consciousness but that doesn't mean you will get there. Brahman Consciousness is an extremely advanced state. I assume the vast majority of spiritual teachers aren't able to enter that state, probably never been there. Even with psychedelics it is rare to reach it (Brahman Consciousness means completely dissolving the dream, your room is gone, as well as body sensations). - RASA RASA is very effective to increase your recognition dimension (up until a certain point). Once at LOC 1000 you are probably subtly conscious of God, Love, Nothingness and Oneness. How strongly you will be conscious depends on factors like your genetics, brain chemistry before RASA, how much spiritual progress you have made apart from RASA,... RASA is what got me from normal human consciousness into woke consciousness (around 2 years ago). Though it was subtle (because it only addresses the recognition dimension). I started from the LOC 570s and I think it took me around 13 1on1 sessions or so until LOC 1000. You can receive 1on1 RASA sessions from Ramaji or Ananda, or any other RASA giver (I think they have half the price). Ramaji and Ananda also hold monthly zoom meetings with RASA at the end. They also uploaded some of them (including the RASA) to YouTube . To learn more about the LOC 1000 model, read Ramaji's book "1000". - Shaktipat The purpose of Shaktipat is to awaken your kundalini. Once fully awake (which is very rare) you are automatically in a higher baseline consciousness. But the most significant effect of kundalini is Bliss. The more awake your kundalini, the higher your Bliss (baseline but mainly meditations). For me Shaktipat puts me in a deep and blissful meditation. It has also resulted in much progress in kundalini awakening. After a few weeks of receiving Shaktipat several times a week + watching Shaktipat youtube videos during meditation + some kriya supreme fire I experienced vibrations in my spine (during meditation, when focusing on the spine) (I had done around 500 hours of kundalini yoga up until this point, and my meditations were already energetic from invoking spirits). The vibrations were pulsating up and down. First they went till the 3rd chakra, then the 4th, then 5th, and eventually into the brain (maybe 1-2 weeks later). Upon that, I experienced strong literal bliss going up my spine, putting me into deep bliss, sometimes ecstasy. This lasted for a few weeks, and was strongest during meditation. Then it subsided. But during meditation around 20-80% of the bliss is still there, depending on the quality of the meditation. I believe my kundalini is partially awake, but not fully. People I know of who can give strong Shaktipat: Jan Esmann He probably gives the strongest Shaktipat, particularly if you get to sit around him. He does intensives in Europe, if you can join one, that would probably be quite an experience. Gareth's kundalini fully woke up during an intensive with Jan. Jan also woke up Diana's kundalini. He also gives shaktipat in absentia. He charges a mala necklace and mails it to you. I got one, and can recommend it. He also holds Zoom Transmissions every Tuesday. And has YouTube transmissions . Kai Shanti I think her transmissions are a combination of shaktipat and God's Grace. They are quite strong for me. The state of consciousness it puts me in is a bit similar to the one from pure Divinity. So it is divine, blissful and energetic. Very recommended. She speaks an intuitive light language during the transmissions, and is also very psychic, so she can for example see blockages you have. She gives 1 on 1 transmissions as well as weekly live group transmissions on learnitlive.com . You can get a learnitlive membership for around $8 a month and then can join these sessions for free. She also has transmissions on YouTube . Gareth Gareth gives Shaktipat in 1 on 1 sessions, as well as in zoom group sessions (currently in combination with pure Divinity) and he also has some Shaktipat transmissions on Youtube. Advaitashram They have several Shaktipat givers. They offer 1 on 1 sessions as well as weekly zoom sessions on Tuesday and Wednesday. Website Kip He sells audios charged with Shaktipat. Try the free samples on his website, I immediately felt an effect from the Kali one. I bought all of them and, using Audacity, layered them into one audio. I currently listen to it during meditation (+plus video transmissions from Gareth). You could even get the audio of all kundalini transmissions on youtube and layer these audios in as well. Just make sure to export the audio in wav and I forgot how it's called but in audacity on the bottom on the left there is a number at around 48 000. Turn it to 92 000 or so (I don't remember the exact number). Thus you ensure to not lose any quality. Kip also has free audios on his YouTube channel but I guess the paid versions are more potent. Siddhanta Yoga She gives one on one sessions and has YouTube transmissions. - KAP KAP is explained in this video. Kap is a transmission to activate the kundalini. KAP leads to kriyas in many participants (there are many different youtube videos where you can see it). Most people have small movements, some have very big and some none. It usually takes some sessions till movements start. For me they started after around 5 sessions. But they were small/subtle, and stayed that way, and I don't think they might increase more. The movements are mostly subtle pulsatings of the spine. In the beginning, the movements require some conscious effort, but eventually they kinda happen on their own, without conscious involvement. But they can be stopped at any moment (in 99,9% cases). From my experience KAP does help to awaken the kundalini. In fact, my biggest kundalini success (when the vibrations finally entered the brain and the big Bliss started) happened during a KAP session (or right after, I don't remember). Despite this I think that purely for a kundalini awakening, Shaktipat is more powerful. While KAP does help in kundalini awakening, the focus is one purification. Purification of your energy system as well as emotional purification. Doing KAP before your kundalini awakening will probably result in a more smooth kundalini rising (because of less blockages) (my kundalini awakening was smooth and blissful). That is one benefit of KAP. If you are someone who is faced with emotional stuff while tripping, I recommend KAP sessions. Similarly to Shamanic Breathing, they purify and release emotional stuff. Most people only experience emotional stuff during KAP sessions, and nothing nondual. But that's probably because of their baseline, most of them don't even know about enlightenment. I do experience some subtle effect on nondualness. The main effect of KAP is longterm baseline. Many people report being more at peace and more blissful. I think KAP does help for enlightenment, but not as much as other transmissions. The focus of KAP seems to be on personal development (purification and releasing shadow stuff and so on). On this site is a list of many KAP facilitators, most of them give 1on1 online sessions, and many of them give in person group sessions (if you're lucky to live nearby). And on this site is a list of those who offer online zoom group sessions. I've had KAP with at least 5 different facilitators (group zoom) and while all of them are good, Diana Kasperska is the most skilled. She is a lot more spiritually evolved and seems to be the only one doing enlightenment work. She's also a bit psychic and sometimes perceives some stuff about you during the transmission, like blockages, and then can tell you about it after the transmission. If you book group zoom sessions with Diana, book via her Website there you (currently) get them 33% cheaper if you book several at once. - Light Transmissions Light Transmissions seem to be similar to RASA. Gareth gives Light Transmissions in 1on1 sessions, and says that his Light Transmissions have a similar effect as RASA. There are many light transmissions on Youtube. I think most of them work well, but I don't think these are as powerful as RASA. The Transmissions from Imogen seem to stand out, but I assume RASA is still more powerful. Anyway, she gives weekly live transmissions on Youtube and has normal video transmissions. The different transmissions affect different dimensions of Consciousness: Predominantly recognition dimension: RASA, Light Transmissions Predominantly depth/immersion dimension: SAT, Shaktipat, KAP Both dimensions somewhat equally: Pure Divinity, Kai Shanti's transmission Transmissions can be really powerful to increase your baseline if done over a long period. The more you do, the more sensitive you get, and the more powerful they become. My first transmissions (RASA) were all subtle. Only now, after much energy work, immediate effects of transmissions are really strong. Over the time, I've learnt how to channel these transmissions myself, and since maybe 2 weeks, these transmissions are similarly strong for me as those given by someone else. When I receive transmissions from someone else nowadays, I channel myself at the same time, making the session extra potent . The quickest way to become more sensitive to transmissions is to receive many transmissions. Always let a youtube transmission play during meditation. You can even let them play while doing stuff like reading. And any energy work in general also benefits that process, especially kriya supreme fire. here I posted some more YouTube transmissions. The zoom group transmissions are always much cheaper than the 1on1 transmissions, and some are on donation basis. So do maaaany. As many as you can. I used to attend to up to 10 zoom group transmissions a week. (that was a few months ago) The progress I made since then is crazy. In one month doing all these transmissions I made probably more progress than within the 12 months before that. The more you do, the more effects you get, except with RASA and Light Transmissions, it seems like doing them more than once a week doesn't speed things up. All transmissions are different and hit the ego from a different angel, so it is a good idea to do many different ones. Generally, 1on1 sessions are more powerful than group sessions: in person (not online) > 1 on 1 session > live zoom > live youtube > normal youtube - How to make a transmission session more powerful: meditate a few minutes beforehand. I recommend kriya supreme fire (particularly before shaktipat transmissions) try to be receptive Once you are advanced, try to channel the energy at the same time For your normal mediation sessions you can experiment with following: I found that the larger and the closer the screen, the stronger the transmission (but only a subtle difference) It seems that playing several transmission videos at once can make it more powerful. You can use different devices, and open several windows at the same time. I actually mixed more than 10 videos into one new video, I think the software I used is called Filmora9. Doing this really seemed to increase the potency. But sometimes I'm not sure, currently I mainly meditate to single videos. Experiment. You can mix the same video several times, or many different ones. - Ability to give aura transmissions: To be able to give the first kind of transmissions, the "aura transmissions", the most important requirement is to have a strong depth/immersion baseline consciousness. The recognition dimension has pretty much no value for that. Apart from that it's also helpful to have a very strong aura, the best practices for that is receiving transmissions, channeling energies and invoking spirits. Share your experiences with transmissions

@AndylizedAAY As always, this is a problem of conflation between relative speech and the absolute dimension. From the Absulute POV, nothing exists by it self, molteplicity is an illusion meaning that everythin you can concieve is fabricated, hallucinated, created from nothing. There isn't a "ground". Souls, NDEs, astral projections, are just appearences that, if investigated are revealed to be empty. This doesn't take away anything from your experience. Everything you experience is REAL. The relative POV is our conventional way of looking at the world. Where we assume a certain identity and we act in the world, by its laws. In the relative domain souls exists. Ghosts exists. ------- To leap from the relative to the Absolute, you must ask yourself, what is a Ghost? A ghost is just an image appearing within coscousness Absolute pov: No one is experincing anything, this things are just appearing into nothingness. Consciousnes is imagining all of this, you included. Consciuousness is immagining this post, right now. Relative pov: You are experiencing it, and your astral body was floating in the room for a brief moment. --------- Understood the difference?

@Javfly33This is indeed how it is in your illusionary nothingness form. When you try to understand yourself you will start creating even more, the ego and thoughts is god being the seeker. You're in creation mode at all times no matter where you are, if you stop the flow and harmony as god to understand yourself everything will go downhill but you can't help yourself. You keep putting your own consciousness/mind in your own imagination and you keep getting stuck. Just a fraction of your gods consciousness in the ego body is enough to create realities all around you.

But why does the transpersonal consciousness has to exist at all? I will never enter it because as soon as I would enter it it becomes personal consciousness. Maybe the intuition is that is has to exist because otherwise there is no structure for the personal consciousness to move through. But why can't it manifest the second I tap into it? "Now I look at the ground so the ground manifests out of nothingness. Now I look at the sky, the ground is nothingness again and the sky becomes something out of nothing." A magical bubble (out of personal consciousness) that somehow moves through a non existing structure.

Hello guys, I am relatively new to all this enlightenment stuff. I have been meditating consistently for a couple years, and I have been using Sam Harris' Waking Up App. So far, I have read The Book of Not Knowing by Peter Ralston, and Spiritual Enlightenment The Damnedest Thing by Jed McKenna. As a result, I have been meditating everyday for at least 20 minutes just following my breath and noticing other sensations and thoughts arising and passing in consciousness. I also am contemplating and trying to dispell and eliminate all my beliefs and programming such as Spiritual Autolysis like Jed mentioned in his book. I just want to be sure I am doing the practice correctly. All I am doing is uncovering an unchallenged belief and challenging it. Such examples for challenging such beliefs are: The belief that I am a real character or that I am a character at all The belief that I am not in the Matrix The belief that reality is real The belief that I am not deluded (which I am) The belief that I even exist (proving Cogito Ergo Sum to myself) The belief that I am a good person The belief that there is an external world The belief that other people have minds The belief that knowledge can be derived from sensations and rationality The belief that my family is real The belief that my culture is correct the Belief that I am well-educated The belief that my thoughts are my own or that I am the author of my thoughts Belief that there is an observer to what is being observed etc. etc. etc., I am just wondering whether I am doing Spiritual Autolysis correctly and whether meditating and contemplating alone will eventually let me have a direct experience of God? Like Jed McKenna said, "Sit down. Shut up. Find out what is true." Jed McKenna also mentions in his book to ask yourself, "What can you know for certain?" The only thing you can know is that you exist. This is known as Solipsism and Descartes had a similar insight in Cogito Ergo Sum (around p. 79). The part I have trouble with is that contemplation is using the mind to understand reality right? But how can thinking lead to a direct experience of God? What particular exercises do you all find most helpful in having the direct experience/implicit understanding of God, Nothingness, Void, etc.? How do contemplation and meditation fit together if at all? Is using contemplation techniques such Spiritual Autolysis, Descartes Cogito Ergo Sum, Peter Ralston's emptying your cup exercise, etc. going to lead me down the round to experiencing God? I know this is a lot! I Thank you! I appreciate all of your help!

i also really love sadhguru. however i found a contrast between his a leo's teachings - sadhguru stated a couple of times now, that god is NOT love? that it is rather an intelligence. this kinda shocked me, since i usually resonate hard with basically everything sadhguru says, and his and leos teaching are basically alligned all the way. the way i see it there are a couple of possibilities. he could be holding the information back in order to maintain his reputation, which he has done before, such as for example that he doesnt really want to share his knowledge in regards to alien species. he could be talking about god in its state of nothingness, which as I understand it is completely devoid of all qualities, including love. It is also possible that he has not realized the infinite love of god? which to me seems a bit implausible, since the dude seems conscious as fuck. or we are just all fucking deluded heheh ofc not. i would like to hear leos input on this, since ive also heard him talking positively about sadhguru in the past. link to sadhguru saying god is not love;

I award you with… NOTHINGNESS!!!

Hey everybody, I hope you're doing fine. 4 days ago I had my first MDMA experience. 200mg of pure MDMA (+75mg after 4 hours). It was a really beautiful experience. Very healing. After working through a lot of personal stuff I felt the desire to go deeper into the transpersonal realm. I've crafted 5-MeO-DMT Vape Pens a few weeks before, but I've only played around with them in the lower doses (1:12 or 1:4 solution strength). But now in the MDMA experience, I felt ready to go all the way. I've heard about this combination before. Most of the community is just not sure as there's just not enough data. There's very little information online and the perspectives vastly differ. I heard Rick Doblin talking about it at a psychedelic conference and he said it was a wonderful idea and a wonderful experience. And I've read in James Oroc´s “ Tryptamine Palace” that this combination should be avoided as it had resulted in negative experiences that appeared similar in character to an overdose of tryptamines alone. But in my state I was sure that this was the right choice in the moment. I went in three times. First experience with one long-hit of the 1:1 vape pen ( should have been around ~8mg). It was a beautiful, sacred, very intense experience. but I felt there was more. So I went in a second time after a few minutes had passed. this time I went with two long hits ( so probably around ~15mg) This experience was absolutely stunning. A very clear glimpse of Enlightenment. God realization. Satori. I felt complete and whole. It is very nice to start out from the loving space of the MDMA into the 5-MeO-DMT. There's very little fear (or no at all). And after you come out of the 5-MeO-DMT experience you land into the loving space of the MDMA. Still, remembering my first and only 5-MeO-DMT Breakthrough experience, I felt a subtle desire to go all the way. from conscious god realization to Infinite nothingness. Complete annihilation of existence back into source. So after waiting for around two hours (and taking the 75mg MDMA re-dose) I went back in for the third time. I was taking three big hits (~20mg of 5-MeO-DMT) and was expecting to jump into the Nothingness. It was a very intense experience, hard to put into words. a little bit emotionally challenging at the end. definitely not full annihilation of consciousness. There was something happening, but I couldn't really grasp what it was. Coming out of the experience I was a little bit confused but still fine. I was feeling like it was a successful session, with a lot of valuable insights. The day after I had a really really heavy headache. ( also just getting two hours of sleep). I was taking a lot of Vitamin C ( maybe a little bit too much) and a 5-HTP supplement to prevent the damage and common low known from the MDMA. The headache went on for the whole day and my social battery was kind of low. ( I was arriving at a mini-festival). The two following days at the festival were fine. I was able to talk, give a workshop about psychedelics, get enough sleep and have a little bit of fun. ( I didn't take any other substances at this time). While having a long drive home, I was feeling that something was a little bit different. My state was not quite at baseline. I thought: “ well maybe I just touched a little bit of acid and that is the reason why I feel a little bit off”. After five hours of driving I arrived home and felt a little bit sick. I thought maybe the week was just a little bit hectic, with all the traveling and socializing. And I went to sleep. Today ( 4 days after the MDMA + 5-MeO DMT experiences) I woke up and still felt a little bit different. I feel healthy. But definitely not at baseline. Now that I'm alone I can actually notice what is going on in my perception. And I assume that it is coming from this experience. This is where I asked for your advice: How do I integrate this experience and what steps are reasonable to take? I feel a little bit all over the place. Not fully at ease. There are significant mood swings. A subtle sense of anxiety that I haven't experienced before. A slight visual distortion in my perception. Noticable vibrations in my body and heart. And as I have never had such long term, persistent effects from psychedelics, a little fear: -Did I somehow damage my brain? ( I don't know much about serotonin syndrome, or certain cardiovascular reactions, but these topics just jump into my mind). -Do I just give it some time and take it easy? When is the right time to seek out professional help or a doctor? Do you have any practices that can be very useful for grounding? Today I tried a long meditation, breathwork, going to the gym, a long cold shower, and all these things seem to help but only in the moment. Also an interesting site note: I still fall back into the “ chewing” of the MDMA. Not as intense as in the journey, but still noticeable. In the experience itself I was chewing so much that I injured the inner side of my lips and it's very hard for me to eat hard food. It's very interesting to observe this whole process and to write the waves of this period of integration. We open ourselves up to these kinds of experiences and dimensions when we explore deeper and deeper and sometimes even mix certain substances. Safe journeys everybody.

Low doses of knowledge is definitely, definitely, definitely possible. High doses that give you a headache, would take some training---like a specialization. Actually the nagual's blow don Juan gave Carlos in those books to push him into heightened awareness "where the real learning happens" is basically that. And I got instructions from an entity in a dream on how to retrieve information from anywhere in space and time, with an abstract explanation of having my verbal thinking turn to an unbiased tuning state (like a radio dial), an energetic umbilical cord above my navel permeated by Nothingness and sense of Nothingness with the unbiased tuning state. This zero state brings in the information intended. This is like silent knowledge in the Carlos Castaneda books where Carlos was instructed to read pages of the text that would appear on the sky or wall. But a blast of information that would give you a headache, was probably not a good idea on the alien's part. It's like a blast of DMT where you get too much useless information, which is why Tom Campbell says psychedelics generally "increase entropy and disorder" despite their healing potential.