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I'm not sure exactly what I'm going to say here so let's see how this goes. I'm seeing enlightenment in a bit of a different light as I woke this morning. I guess the big question that's always in the back of my head is "what exactly is enlightenment?" We as humans have evolved on this planet for millions of years. Our brains have the capacity to do many wonderful things like no other species on this planet. But along with that highly developed brain we also have a strong sense of self. We than ask ourselves "who am I". Where did I come from? What is my purpose? What happens to me when I die? Once these question are asked, the search for an answer begins. Religions try to answer all these age old questions by telling us there is a supreme being that creates, destroys, sees and judges all that is happing as an attempt to satisfy a question that most everyone has. So religion "fills in the blanks" so to speak. Any answer is better than no answer at all because people can than feel secure that the question is answered and they can rest their mind in that belief. So here is the question I woke with this morning. Is enlightenment a mental tool that is used, like a religion. But not to answer the big questions, but to just silence them because there are no answers and the questions are really the only cause for the search in the first place? I'm seeing humans as just another aspect of this universe. The same as any other living organism. But one that has evolved just enough to ask the deadly questions that there are no answers too. Than there is the next part of that process when we want to believe we have the answer that satisfies the question of 'What am I". Our brains come up with answers like -Infinity, the absolute, truth, nothingness, God, bliss ect, ect. We than feel the need to experience whatever "that" is. Like we want absolute proof of it. Aren't we creating another dream within a dream within that sense of self that comes with having a higher brain function? Isn't all this just the mind doing all this within itself? Every single bit of it? Is realizing this simple fact enlightenment? Is enlightenment just fix for a glitch in the operating system? A week or so ago, somebody replied to a post saying "Now that Leo has reached Infinity"___ _ _ _ _ . Something about that innocent little statement really made me re-evaluate everything that is happing. Who reached What? What drives this search in the first place? Is it all just an anomaly of higher brain function? What is really happing? *I would greatly appreciate anyone's input on all this. What do think?

Hello to Leo and everyone else on here! I am new to this forum and would like to ask a question regarding the true nature of self. A little bit about my background: I am 41 years now, had a severe burn out about 2 years ago after which I had to let go all of which to me defined myself all my life. My passions, my gifts, my addictions. I never thought it was possible that such a thing happened. It felt like there was a car crash inside my head and I was standing by watching it with a mix of horror and entertainment. This was when my second life began. A life without a meaning. The time was right for me and I wanted to start reading wise lines by old men. So I read Herman Hesse's “Steppenwolf” which caught me cold in my deception and self pity. Intrigued by his way of writing I read “Siddharta” and this is how I stumbled across buddhism. One thing led to another and I learned about Taoism, read Eckart Tolle and the likes and elegantly finished it all off with Jiddu Krishnamurti who's down to earth no bullshit way of writing made me realize that I could live without the ornamental and ritualistic sides of buddhism. I had learned to watch my thoughts and recognize the destructive sides of my ego. My life had gained a completely new quality. I could not understand how I had been so blind and wrong my whole life before. Anyway, it's been almost two years and many books & insights later when I stumbled across Leo's videos on youtube. And one evening here something happened. I had just finished watching those detailed enlightenment videos of Leo and was now listening to a lecture by Sam Harris about free will when it hit me: Not suddenly, but slowly I was starting to feel the reality of matter and elements around me and in me, the actual reality of my body being a bunch of just matter temporarily aligned to form a functioning system and my “Self” being nothing more than a part of this as well. Or rather not even that. It dawned on me that me, the living self that seemed so well defined and solid is actually just an illusion, a byproduct of all this matter in me. And that along with Sam Harris's free will discussion made it click. This is what it might feel like for an artificial intelligence to become aware of its artificial nature, to realize that it is only a simulation, nothing more. I felt a feeling of growing panic and dizzyness in me as I realized that the Pilot and the Machine had switched places. So I was just a projection of my internal background processes and my SELF was continuously trying to catch up with what was being presented from the inside, trying to pretend it was the author of everything. The more I wanted to reach inside my mind and find something solid to hold on to, the less there was anything tangible there. There was only nothing. Emptiness. Not even emptiness, just not anything. This realization was almost physical, it came from my gut and made me feel dizzy and nauseous. Without a real self that was in charge of everything it now felt as if I was being dragged along by my body and mind without much control at all. A trapped feeling almost. At that time I assumed that this was my ego panicking and refusing to let go. There was no bliss and no magic. It was more like I was lost in an ocean and my lonely island of support and orientation had just sunk and disappeared. I had to literally drag myself out of that feeling by distracting myself with music and moving around in the apartment, because I felt so overwhelmed. Now, 2-3 days later I have talked about this a lot with my wife which helped me coming to terms with this all. As I write this now I am experiencing a slight unease again but it's much less intense. I have re-watched Leo's enlightenment “the shocking truth” video again and this time all of his statements registered on a whole new level in me, it all made perfect sense to me. So here's my question: How do I proceed? I am not meditating or following any structured approach to enlightenment. But I have a deep deep urge to feel and experience the truth of reality. These things I realized and experienced a couple of days ago are with me now most of the time, but more on an intellectual level as opposed to a physical experience. I am aware my panic was my ego refusing. But this has decreased over the last days. I feel like I peaked through a window and I do not want to loose this again. Everyday life is ripe with temptation and distraction to lure you back into ignorance. Do you have any tips on how I could proceed in order to go deeper on this? Or at least stay on track? If this had happened through some kind of structured approach like meditation or psychedelics, I'd have a better clue how to proceed, but I don't have that practice. It would be very nice to read your thoughts on this. This forum is like a treasure trove to me Greetings from Hamburg Lynn PS: Sorry for the VERY long post!!

@jennywise You're welcome! I don't know if what I'm about to say is going to sound optimistic or depressing, but... It is what it is. I've felt this "Have I imagined this / made this up?" feeling multiple times since yesterday. Seriously. It's like the mind is trying to erase, devalue what has "happened." Like, "Was it really that amazing? Was it really bliss? Or did you just make it up?" In a way, I kinda like that it's happening. Because it doesn't let me get attached to this "past experience of bliss," so I don't start chasing it. But at the same time, some part of me is saying, "It was real. This was a unique experience, I have never experienced such pure, crystallized joy for such a long period of time. Yes, it was an experience only, not pure truth. But it doesn't mean that it hasn't happened." So in case you thought that you started to feel like you had imagined your experience because it lasted for 5 minutes... Well, that's probably not the case... Mine lasted for 2 days and I still got those feelings lol I just randomly stumbled upon a video, in which a woman described a state similar to that state that I had experienced. She didn't go into as much detail as I did, so I can't know for sure we both experienced exactly the same things. And Rupert "explained" what happened to her in a brilliant way; that's exactly how I see it now. I'll post the video here, maybe it would be helpful for you or whomever else. The woman's description of her experience starts at 8:20, followed by Rupert's comments on it.

@Leo Gura Thank you, Leo. Yes, I can absolutely see how there is (and was) this attachment to bliss and fear of losing it. Which in itself creates a duality. This just showed me that I need to go deeper, that there's much more to work through. And that I literally don't know the nature of reality, the truth. If I did know it... Well, I'd just know. That's all I can say at this point. Yes, absolutely! That's what eventually got me centered and calm. That I can't loose what I actually am. This is what inspires me to stay on this path.

Very very typical experience on this path. The good news is, it's just the tip of the iceberg of what's possible. There's WAY deeper to go! Yeah, it didn't stick. Because you got caught in phenomena and still don't really know what you are. Only thing to do is keep at it. Keep probing: "What am I?!" The trap is that enlightenment is not an experience and it's not bliss. The bliss is phenomena which isn't what you actually are. Don't get seduced by the bliss. I know it's hard cause it's a fucking awesome experience and it feels so good. But that's just a feeling. Make sure you're getting to the EXISTENTIAL root of things, not just psychological or emotional. You have to grasp what reality actually is, EXISTENTIALLY! Even if it did stick, there would still be WAY more to grasp. So don't assume you can just get it and then retire to the Bahamas. It also helps to become conscious right now of the fact that you can never lose what you actually are. It's ever-present. Yes, it's infuriating to hear that. Notice how there's an attachment to the bliss and fear of loss. That needs to be worked through cause it's delusion.

Hello, everyone. I would like to share something that has happened in the past few days. I’ve been reading and watching a lot of Byron Katie and Rupert Spira in the past weeks. Their teachings were my main focus. All was going well and I was pretty happy and content with everything in life. Things seemed to go smoothly. Then, on Oct. 26th around 3 am, something absolutely phenomenal happened. I was watching one of Rupert’s videos, and what he said just really GOT to me. He mentioned how time was just a concept and how all there ever is, is just an eternal present moment. How everything has always been, is and always will be just pure awareness. How all we ever know is just our experience, which is just pure knowing itself. Concepts are superimposed by our thoughts. All of that just hit me like a truck. I’ve heard all of that before, (probably even saw this video before, not sure) but at THAT moment it felt like I got it on a molecular level, it had nothing to do with my mind’s understanding of it. Tears started to pour out of my eyes uncontrollably. It felt like coming home. Not even coming, just realizing that I’ve always been home, just haven’t noticed it. It was like recognizing myself for the first time. I went to sleep, but I didn’t fall asleep right away since this “understanding” kept passing through me. I couldn’t stop crying, I was just blown away by how simple and easy everything was. I realized that everything in life is okay, nothing is ever wrong or out of order. There was no good or bad. There was not even a “me.” I fell asleep in total peace. During the next two days, I experienced constant, absolute and pure bliss. Not even “I experienced”… It felt like I was bliss, peace, and happiness themselves. Here are the details of that experience: - This moment (or any moment ever) cannot be “bettered” in any way. It’s absolute perfection just as it is. I felt no desire to change anything about any moment or experience. At all. - That being said, whenever I felt like performing any action, it was extremely organic. I didn’t “think” about it in the traditional sense. I just did it. Whenever I felt it. It didn’t feel like I was doing something. It was like I was the action itself, the process itself. There was no “Marina is doing this.” There were no two things. There was just unity of everything. When I didn’t feel like doing anything, I’d just sit, calm and relaxed. I “knew” that I’d make an action whenever it was needed. I knew that nothing “had to be done.” So there was this freedom of doing or not doing anything I (or anyone else) wanted. There was just this incredible trust in life and experience, this beautiful freedom. - I wasn’t experiencing time. At all. I saw how the concept of time was a complete fiction and realized that nothing ever (including the fictional character of “me”) is a part of it. There is just eternal now. That’s all there is of “time.” - I did not distinguish between “others” and “myself" or "this object" and "that object." Isolating anything from the totality and unity of experience seemed crazy. Literally. Everything was just awareness. Whole and perfect. - At one moment, I saw that my own body was just as much of a conceptual object as any other object in my experience. I felt like I was not in control of it, like it was doing whatever had to be done on its own. “Marina” was never in control of it. In fact, I didn’t even feel like I was “Marina” or anyone else. All of those “me” concepts felt like a giant pile of horseshit. It seemed so ridiculous how I ever believed any of it, that I would just laugh in midair sometimes. - Aside from laughing in midair, I’d cry in midair too. I would sometimes get just so overwhelmed by beauty and perfection of everything, that I would cry uncontrollably in the middle of doing something or just while sitting still. I’ve never experienced such happiness. At those moments, I felt that it was coming from being one with everything. I saw how there was never any separation, how separation is just impossible (no matter what a person believes) and how the separation is just a concept created by the mind. - I'd stare at an "object" / hear a sound / see something and feel like I was experiencing it for the first time (like, there was no story attached to it) and like it came to my awareness out of nowhere, (although I've seen it before). - I was contempt with what things were and how life was at any given moment. Constantly. - Every single action was extremely mindful. - “Time” seemed slower. I was experiencing a sort of like “slow motion” all the time. Even when I was in a middle of a busy street, with tons of cars and people around me moving very fast, I felt this peace and stillness on the “inside” and the “outside.” It felt just mind blowing and natural at the same time. - Like I said, doing anything and not doing anything felt equally comfortable. Everything felt comfortable. However, my favorite form of "leisure" was to just sit and do nothing. - All “human interaction” was effortless, organic, fearless, loving and beautiful. Lots and lots of love and understanding in every interaction I’ve had at that time. On “both sides” (“me” and any “other person”). - I was okay with dying at any given moment. There was just no fear of death. All of the above lasted for about two days. Honestly, it felt like enlightenment. And when I thought to myself, “Is this what enlightenment feels like?” I’d feel like I didn’t care. Enlightenment or not, I didn’t care. I was just living and enjoying it fully and wholeheartedly. Then, at one moment, (this evening) I felt like it was ending. Which completely shocked and terrified me at first. I was thinking, “How can this end? With no time, how can anything begin or end? How can awareness stop recognizing itself if awareness is all there ever is?” It felt like I was kicked out of heaven. The separation… It was so scary and painful. During the first 15-20 minutes of feeling this, I’d try to “hold” it, return back to true reality. I now see how I was trying to do this with my mind. At that moment it felt like my mind would come back to awareness since it already experienced it. But I see now how the mind has nothing to do with knowing awareness. Awareness knows itself. So I can never "come back" to it with my mind. It took me about 30-40 minutes to come to terms that I was “Marina” again and not absolute bliss That means, to stop scrolling through books and depths of my thoughts like a fanatic in search of an “answer.” It just suddenly hit me, “What’s not okay with this situation? What’s wrong with how things are now? Yes, you’re feeling like ‘Marina’ again and what’s so bad about it? What are you afraid of? Why can't you just let go of your desire to hold on to that 'bliss' and let things be how they are right now?” Once those thoughts crossed my mind, I calmed down. Absolute bliss didn’t come back but I stopped feeling terror and pain, which felt nice Now, as I'm finishing this post, I feel calm and centered. Like, I see the apparent difference in the two states of being, but at the same time, I don't feel like I am the same person that I was "before the bliss." It's hard to explain. It's like something, some part of me changed permanently. I cannot know for sure, of course, just saying what I'm feeling at this moment. And then I decided to post here since I have no one else to ask for an opinion. No one in my “real life” does or is even interested in this kind of work. What do you think? What was that bliss? What was this that came after the bliss? How do you think I should go on from now? I’m going on an Enlightenment Intensive retreat in a couple of weeks (my first ever meditation retreat), which I think should be very beneficial. Just a side note, I don’t have a constant meditation practice and I have never tried any psychedelics (not that I don’t want to though lol). I’m sorry for so much writing, but I just wanted to explain everything as best as I possibly could. Thanks for reading and the potential feedback!

What long term plan, indeed. . . if you don't have one, it's simple. Just be patient and study educational material and most importantly, yourself. Gain mindfulness over your actions, thoughts, and behaviors and how they affect how you feel. You're treating meditation as if it's some shortcut to bliss. Just keep focusing on learning new things on this path that may help you. Embrace your own ignorance/incompetence. Once you get a deep understanding of how little you actually know about life, then it will make perfect sense why you still have big problems in your life even after a year of personal development.

Hello all, If you haven't already, please take the time to read my initial post on my first experience with 5-MeO-DMT (12mg). After getting some advice from more experienced psychonauts on the forum (coming to this a complete novice), I have adjusted my insufflation technique; this trip was far, far stronger than before. I have to stress the importance of coming into this psychedelic with a mindset that is totally ready to let go; this includes being in the right environment - safe, warm, quiet and secure - any potential psychological insecurities / neuroticism you will want to satisfy as best you can before using the substance. This dose I took knowing I would have people over in 2 hours or so; this thought in the back of my mind (I believe) prevented me from making the most of this experience... though, it was still mind blowing... Proper insufflation and higher doses (this time 16mg) make an unfathomable difference. This time, perhaps 10 minutes in, the trip hit me full on... I find it quite hard to recall given that there was literally no thought at the time. I was lying back, head off my bed, allowing the substance to gently do it's work... The next thing I know, the boundaries of my body were exploding; the mind was extinguished completely. I can't explain the consciousness that I felt, but it was far beyond anything I have ever experienced during meditation. I knew myself to be the consciousness of the universe; this was experienced directly. I was no longer aware of bodily processes, such as breathing etc... it was truly bliss. You really have to allow this to happen; there's no use panicking. I found my vipassana practice to be crucial in this process. This was not such a gentle experience as my first trip... after being punched in the face by this universal consciousness, my reality (for lack of a better description) went into orgasm... that's all I can allude it too. My entire reality lit up with sexual energy - imagine the very peak of one of your more intense orgasms, and imagine that pleasure enduring for over a minute... my nervous system lit up like a Christmas tree... no word of a lie, I felt that I had ejaculated, and a light scent of bodily sweat pervaded my experience... though I still had no tangible sense of a body... These feelings were coming for no particular spacial location; they were all I knew at the time. The trip got stronger... at this point, I became aware of the fragility of my human body. I could perceive my sensory experiences, but again they were located in no particular spacial location. I was universal consciousness, and there was no room for the body or the mind. I felt as if my body and mind were being squeezed; I felt like they would explode under the pressure - it felt like they would break apart and disintegrate. I knew to go further I would have to be completely ready to let go; I would have to surrender into death, and then burst into infinity... I did not do this. A nagging thought in my mind kept me from going with it fully - people would be coming around later - what if I'm still in this state when they arrive? I had no idea what my body might be doing in this moment... was I writhing around... was I covered in ejaculate... was I screaming... these all seemed possible at the time. Although I had these worries, I didn't identify with them or let them consume the experience; I merely held this state. It was not the time to burst right then. It was all very intense. I can't describe the love and pleasure inherent to the state I was in... although that boundary between that state and surrendering into the unknown (into death) was seemed pretty formidable. I must stress again the importance of being in the right environment for this! No distractions. You feel truly vulnerable in this state, as if your soul was bare and naked for the universe to see. It felt as if all those whom I were close to where there, watching me in this naked confusion... it was that weird feeling you get when someone walks in on you doing something you shouldn't be... I didn't know where I was... You just have to go with this; are you ready to expose yourself; to be 100% vulnerable? I thought I was going to vomit as this consciousness tried to force my body and mind into submission... then I felt something strange... the sensation of warmth and fur in what I assumed was my hand. I thought I had been alone in my room; somehow my cat had been sitting under the bed without me knowing... I opened my eyes, and there she was staring me straight in the face... she curled up, purring next to me... I'd never realised before how calming her presence was... we can learn a lot from cats; truly enlightened beings. It was almost as if her calm and vacant expression was coercing me into surrender. Her gentle presence was soothing. All I know in this moment was love. That's all there really is... I'm sure of that now... love, universal consciousness, whatever you want to call it. As the experience began to fade... it was if I was awakening for the first time; seeing my room through new eyes... what the fuck had happened? Had it really only been 20 minutes?.. I (the ego) had not died, yet I knew life wouldn't be the same again - it was like rebirth. The vulnerability felt during the trip lasted for at least another 20 minutes; a very confused and 'grasping' state. I felt ok to walk at this point. I got up and was glad to find that I had not ejaculated, and I was not dripping with sweat... my throat was hoarse so I have no idea what had happened there - I assume there was some drip from the substance, as surely the cat would have gone mad if I had been shouting / screaming... I put some music on for a bit, and just laid back with the cat in my lap, stroking her & being with the music... this was great. After an hour or so from insufflation, I went for a walk outside. I live near a beautiful canal - and walking down this I truly saw the beauty nature. The shimmering water, refracting the red/purple sunset hue; crunching autumn leaves under foot; the trees blowing, and the gentle wind upon ones face. As per my first post, I must stress again that there is NOTHING to pursue... (explanation) In these experiences, the strength of all attachments to conceptual things (i.e. the ego, perceived objects of reality, thoughts etc) is reduced; ultimately, I expect these attachments are surrendered (let go of) entirely as we surrender into them - although that requires conceptual death... I don't think anything can prepare a person for that - there's no room for panic - only bravery & acceptance. I hope when I do break through that barrier, I am able to do so with some dignity. The presence of "things" in our reality is a comforting reminder that we are alive; you have to let go of it all to experience God - I see what Leo & others are talking about now... Has anyone got any advice on breaking through? 16mg was insane... what do I need be be mindful of in stepping up my dosage? Would it be wise to hang fire and have another few rounds at this intensity? The world seems pretty perfect right now.

And here, I see just another time God taking the form of a suffering human being that persists in the illusion that the world isn't perfect as it is. That pain and suffering are really bad and need to be diminished. That the killing of innocent animals is any different from a wonderful flower growing in peace. It isn't. It's a fucking game and as long as you take any of it seriously, you'll fight for one side or the other. When you stop engaging in it seriously and just look curiously how it can be that there is such an amount of beauty on the one hand and such an amount of suffering on the other, you'll find out that God aka it / Tao / nothingness / ... needs and wants to express any limitation there could be because it is so infinite, peaceful and complete in its non-dualistic essence. Every dualistic game there is is just the counterpart of the non-dual bliss out of everything arises. See that, and you'll laugh yourself silly. Cheers (...and don't take my rant here to personally, I'm merely having fun with my very limited opinions - you are of course right that we humans are all to bad killing these innocent animals and eating their fucking delicious meat on 3 occasions in the day not giving a shit at all ... fuck I did it again )

I'm posting this topic here and not in nutrition, as this is not about food and it's relation to health. This is about ethics. What we as finite minds relatively see as brains/'systems of neurons' is obviously what allows Infinity to play the game of life - to see itself as a finite mind. We are all one consciousness. I'm as much the pig getting slaugthered in the slaughterhouse as I am this dude typing this text. This is how pigs gets sedated in Denmark before they get slaughtered. Doesn't seem so nice. And Denmark is arguably supposed to be a country where animal welfare is 'better than average'. Eating meat is something we in the western world do only for pleasurement (it tastes good). There are zero health benefits and we absolutely don't need to survive to eat meat, but can do just fine on non-meat-food-sources. An argument for saying 'ok to eating meat' could be that as long as the animals have a decent life until they get slaughtered, then it's fine - because the animals doesn't know they are going to die, they live in blisfull ignorance, and we all know that death itself is perfectly neutral and 'fine' as long as 1. the conscious being getting killed doesn't suffer before getting killed in any way (anxiety, bad mood or pain) 2. no conscious beings are left alive that are hurt by the departure of their friend/beloved one When an airplane with 100 young children crashes and they all get killed - well it's not sad for the children, they died quickly and painless and are no more. Perfect bliss in a sense. However it's sad for the relatives to the children - they are most likely destroyed due to natural egoic reasons. Anyway, obviously, we more or less treat agriculture animals like slaves. Isn't it obvious that they are getting hurt in some way (as in the video)? As you reading this text is just as much the pigs getting killed in the video, why do you endorse the proces above by buying pork roast for Christmas? Let's have a discussion. Please don't talk about health benefits (or cons if they exist) of going vegan/vegetarian - this thread is NOT for that.

Its not all black and white you know. Yes it is true that you can not be truly happy the way you can with spirituality. But you can be happy to a limited degree for a short period of time after a new success which is enough for many people. Also there are many different spiritual paths you do not neccesairly have to seek enlightenment. If you get in touch with your higher self on your spiritual journey and discover what your true desires are i think you still can be happy to a certain degree by materialistic means if you always follow your true desires but many people dont think for themselves and made the desires others have for them to their own which makes them unhappy. It might be a very turbulent life path nontheless, at one point you will desire to be successful in a job and a few years later a new desire might come up which makes you quit that job. You can also choose the way of positive focus/raising your frequency or vibration however you want to call it which also can make you happy to a certain degree and you will still have those drops of frequency from time to time. What people who seek enlightenment are talking about is a happiness thats is beyond measure its bliss if you reach this state you will see how every other kind of happiness is just an illusion but still i would not say that this is the one true way. In fact i try to kind of go on a mixture of all of those paths. I try positive focus and seek out for my desires to a high degree and do stupidly long amounts of meditation sometimes to eventually become enlightened. If you discover the first time that the world you live in is an illusion it sure will make you confused. Keep up your passions if they really are passions which you do for yourself and not for others.

If you go for material things you will notice that you will be looking for success for all your life and once you get to that point you will realize that it did not make you happy because you want more. Animals have their limits if they have a full stomach they are truly happy. Humans on the other hands have no limitations at all if you have an empty stomach you have 1 problem if you finally fill it you suddenly have 100 problems. If you become the king of earth you will look for the stars and if you have our galaxy under control you will look for the entire universe.. Our physical reality has its boundries that is why it is not possible to truly satisfy the limitless human nature. You have to seek for the unlimited source of bliss that is inside of you if you really want to be happy.

Hello forum, I'm not usually one to post, however I feel compelled to share my first experience with 5-MeO-DMT. To provide some background, I have now been meditating consistently since July 2015. Generally I do vipassana meditation, and would consider myself relatively adept practitioner now, though no expert by a long shot. I came into enlightenment work completely fresh around the time I began meditating; I had no prior knowledge on the subject itself, nor any significant on encompassing subjects such as psychology (the ego, the conscious/unconscious mind etc.), non-duality, meditation or spirituality in general. I had always struggled with emotions, and coming into this work I became immediately fascinated. In the beginning, meditation was a ball ache. My practice was forced and boring, though something (probably blind faith) kept me going with this rigid routine - mediation everyday for 40 minutes - no exceptions. As I was beginning to lose patience and hope that meditation would bring me enlightenment, I had my first awakening experience around the end on January 2016. As I was sitting in mediation, I was practicing a "free floating awareness" technique as prescribed by Shinzen Young (The Science of Enlightenment)... I suddenly became aware of the nature of my ego - how it's nature is essentially a conceptual repository of past emotions, events, feelings, perceptions and so forth. I struggle to describe the following, as I am still unsure what type of awakening experience this was, but perhaps someone here can help... there was a gentle, progressive rising on energy in the body - it felt as if all this energy was collecting; as if it were going to burst outward... sure enough it did. The conceptual boundaries seemed to dissolve as this energy (my awareness) burst outwards in all directions. Before I knew it, for five minutes I was everything. Sure, bodily sensations were still there, but they were no longer mapped to discreet bodily locations; they were more stars in the night sky that I had become. I didn't appear to be located anywhere spatially - I knew intellectually that I was sitting down, but in experience it didn't feel like there was a floor anymore, or for that matter a body that was sitting. Form had dissolved, and awareness had expanded infinitely. However, it all soon returned as I curiously opened my eyes. Form came back. Everything returned. The next few months, up until my first 5-MeO-DMT experience were charged by this first awakening experience; I now had my motivation to continue. I had one other experience identical to this one (albeit slightly stronger), but nothing else noteworthy. Although, I now know better than to attach meaning to these experiences, else we create another idea in our head for the ego to grasp for. I also know now that rigid meditation routines can be more neurotic than helpful - it's important we are kind to ourselves, and enjoy our practice. Anyway, recently I managed to source 250mg of HCl 5-MeO-DMT - no advice will be given on how (sorry). I had never taken psychedelic drugs before, so I had some worries before proceeding - these were mainly fueled by bad trip reports you will all have read about online. Though, for some reason, I took Leo's advice on blind faith (don't know why, but I trust the guy) and tried it out. It was just after midnight, and everything was quiet; I had made all the relevant precautions to ensure I felt safe, secure and comfortable (get all the potential neuroticism inducing factors out the way before taking the drug). Earlier in the day I had taken a loading dose to be more certain the drug agreed with me (2mg) - this was fine, and gave me some confidence in what I was about to take. I measured out 12mg of the substance and snorted approx. 6mg into each nostril. I then queued up some meditation music and settled back calmly into bed. Tipping my head back I let the substance sit there for 5-10 minutes or so. Let me just say, for someone new to anything except weed, this was disgusting. Snorting gives no pain at all, but once it has settled, the substance tastes revolting - like paint stripper at the back of your throat. You can feel it dripping into your throat, and there is a mild burning sensation. However, I didn't panic; I stayed perfectly calm and still, as per my meditation experience. I let go and surrendered. Leo's advice is very good though on this guys, extremely comprehensive and reliable in my experience. The onset was a strange. At this time I've only had a small dose, so I can't speak for higher doses, but I can see how it might freak people out. It kind of felt like being at home with a cold, feeling fragile on a winter's day. There was some trembling, some small difficulty with breath, which I imagine might develop into shivering or shaking (maybe nausea) with higher doses, but the trick is to be OK with it. Let it be... my thoughts were as it happened - "I've taken it, so whatever happens, fuck it". Just as if you were stuck at home with a nasty cold, just don't think about it, let it be, don't react irrationally. You will be fine. Then after 15 minutes or so from initial snorting, the peak of the experience hit me. The trembling calmed, and my mind stilled. I find it very hard to put this experience into words to be honest. It was kind of similar to the state I entered when I had the awakening described above. Though this time, it endured whilst my eyes were open. There were no hallucinations, or weird sounds, no scary entities - nothing like that. I was still a body at this dosage, though I was in no way attached to it. Everything in normal experience was still there, but my god it was all so beautiful. There was nothing special about it, no psychedelic patterns or colorful lights; it was all just beautiful the way it was - without any emotional judgement or reactivity toward it all. I felt as if I had no boundaries, like I was consciousness of the universe itself. Everything was in perfect clarity - crystal clear. No sadness, no happiness. Just bliss - I now know what the word bliss actually means. It isn't what you all think. It's the state of being where attachment is relinquished, and everything in experience (including the ego) comes into clarity from the observer perspective - the true self (at least in my experience). The biggest thing I learned during this experience was that there is absolutely NOTHING to pursue. The truth is right here in front of us all - we are it with zero cognitive effort... I like Rupert Spira's analogy - we are like a screen with images projected onto it; it is impossible for the screen to seek/find itself within those images, as it is the very fabric of them. Thoughts, concepts and ideas keep our attention, and enlightenment cannot be found within them. When the mind is still, and thoughts, concepts and ideas fade, we recognise our true nature; this is what I believe 5-MeO-DMT can help us with. It is only our attention to and identification with said thoughts, concepts and ideas that perpetuate the separate self; that make us feel as if there is something out there to find. It's already here guys - you are already it. You just haven't realised yet; our true nature is aware understanding. The "best bit" of the experience lasted perhaps 15 minutes, though it felt a lot longer. I kept checking the clock during the trip. Now 5 hours later, I still have a serene sense of calm about me. There is so much less emotional resistance to everything, i.e. talking to people, doing errands, housework etc. It's all just fine the way it is. Although I've seen the truth, I can feel the state of bliss fading... but that's perfectly fine. It will come and go. Maybe one day it will endure in my experience. Who knows. Right now though, I need to focus on the here and now - I need to play the game of life. I still have so many more experiments to come with 5-MeO-DMT, but to be honest, this experience on 12mg would have been enough to give anyone "seeking enlightenment" the hope and motivation they need to move forward in their practice. Overall, and extremely positive and insightful experience. As Leo also mentions in his video, I do not recommend this substance to anyone with only elementary familiarity with psychology, spirituality, and especially non-duality and meditation... I can see for sure how some may mistake this as some ethereal, lonely, cold and desolate experience. If you've studied this stuff, you would recognise it straight away for what it is. If you've had a non-drug induced awakening experience, you'll also know what I am talking about. This substance is not the answer, nor is it a catalyst. It is important you do not get attached to these experiences. So there you go all, hope this helps some of you - please comment below or PM me (no questions about sourcing please) with questions and your experiences - I would love to share. I will keep you all posted with more experiments with 5-MeO-DMT, and higher dosages.

Find bliss, not happiness. Happiness is worthless; it depends on unhappiness. Bliss is transcendence: one moves beyond the duality of being happy and unhappy. One watches both; happiness comes, one watches and does not become identified with it. One does not say, ‘I am happy. Peace, it is wonderful.’ One simply watches, one says, ‘Yes, a white cloud passing.’ And then comes unhappiness, and one does not become unhappy either. One says, ‘A black cloud passing. I am the witness, the watcher.’ This is what meditation is all about, just becoming a watcher. Failure comes, success comes, you are praised, you are condemned, you are respected, you are insulted – all kinds of things come, they are all dualities. And you go on watching. Watching the duality, a third force arises in you; a third dimension arises in you. The duality means two dimensions: one dimension is happiness; another is unhappiness. Watching both, a depth arises in you: the third dimension, witnessing. And that third dimension brings bliss. Bliss is without any opposite to it. It is serene, tranquil, cool. It is ecstasy without any excitement.

So many people on this website seem to be very misguided or misinformed about meditation. The posts seem almost desperate. They want effects, experiences, to get something , anything. It's like they think meditation is some cool novelty fad thing that you do for a little while and then suddenly you get to some eternal place of bliss and happiness with no more problems. They tell how they sit for a week or a few months but they aren't getting what they want. I'm not sure what Leo has taught them in the videos because I don't watch his meditation videos but maybe he needs to set them straight. I have been trying to advise them but I can't keep up with it so I'm not going to read the posts anymore. No sooner have I answered one post to one of these people and another one appears. I think this is what happens when mindfulness/meditation becomes a trendy new object of desire in western culture but the very important foundations such as the 4 noble truths, the 5 hindrances, the 8foldpath, the 5 precepts and the brahma viharas that are meant to be taught with it in Buddhism are left out. When meditation is divorced from its origins in this way it is nothing more than a fad. People just want to launch into a technique and want an instant fix like its a drug or magical commercial product. Fix my life, take away my problems, satisfy me, make me happy, me me me etc Then when they realise it isn't what they thought it was or expected they are confused and dissapointed. This is why so many people do not keep up the practice. All I can suggest for all of you is to be patient, get some proper guidance from a good teacher and read some good dhamma books. Meditation will slowly transform your perspective but accept that you cannot just step to the peak of the mountain in one moment. Meditation can help you to see how craving and aversion will cause you to suffer. The wanting this and that from it is a perfect example of how craving and desire will hinder you. Five hindrances

I was doing it the same way for a long time but from time to time it seemed like it had become useless so i switched to mindfullness meditation for a short time and got back to this method again and it has always awesome benefits especially in the first few weeks. But i changed my meditation habit now i do this kind of meditation you mentioned untill i have close to no-thoughts arising after that i usually go over to doing emotional vipassana which i learned from teal swan i just try to recognize the emotions i feel in my stomach and just accept them go into them untill they become bliss on a normal day i would stop here but sometimes i also add the note-gone technique or just focus on very deep breaths untill i feel my circulation kind of skyrocketing. I also usually try to add phases of self-inquiry inbetween.

The only problem is your ego. It wants appreciation from youself and from the external world. It holds expectations and if these expectations dont get satisfied it will release negative emotions. The ego identifies itself with certain attributes like bring a gold person. From thse identifications are comming your expectations. Therefore if you have no ego identifications, you will have no expectations and be able to live in bliss all day. So start to question and drop your ego identifications and beliefs.

If you want to get rid of misery, get rid of the lust for happiness. And when there is no misery, there is happiness. But it is not because you desire it; it is because you don’t have any desire. In a deep desire-less state, you are full of bliss.

On Friday October 14, I had a great realization as I sitting outside feeling deeply relaxed on a gorgeous Fall day in Washington DC. I realized how completely relaxed and mellow I felt and how my mind was focused on the moment and how wonderful basking in the moment feels like. I realized that enjoying the moment is becoming scarce in mainstream American society. Every morning, millions of people are rushing to and from work and home that the days, weeks, months, and years become a confused blur. The modern mind has became so mired in the shit of "obligations" that they reject relaxation and meditation as "laziness." I go to Guilford College, a very peaceful Quaker college in North Carolina, and one of the main themes in Quakerism is embracing the silence and the Inward Light. The Inward Light is God's presence within us as we slow down and take time out of our day for a moment of silence, prayer, or meditation. I realize that my years at Guilford have mellowed me out! On Monday, I had a meetup with a new friend and she was feeling very hectic because of traffic, depleted funds, and running late but I chose not to lash out at her for being late. I told myself "I will stay calm and not take it personally!" I've spent the whole week recapturing my childhood and it's one of the most amazing life experiences ever!! By watching Halloween classics particularly "Coraline" and "Over the Garden Wall," I felt like I re-entered my childhood and I felt a deep nostalgia because the show and the movie revealed how deep my imagination goes and how these films give me a deep sense of wonder and inspiration. Fortunately, I've been feeling this bliss more and more recently and it feels wonderful!! I had to release this insight. To simplify the insight, I'm simplifying my life by enjoying and loving the moment and I've entered a childlike state where life feels inspirational and magical again! However, I feel like this is just the beginning to something greater on the horizon and I'm too excited to find out!!

Kundalini is just a technical term for your whole energy when it is in unity, in movement, in harmony, without any conflict; when it is cooperative, complementary and organic. So first of all, kundalini is not something unique. It is only human energy as such. But ordinarily only a part of it is functioning, a very minute part. Even that part is not functioning harmoniously; it is in conflict. That is the misery, the anguish. If your energy can function harmoniously then you feel bliss, but if it is in conflict – if it is antagonistic to itself – then you feel miserable. All misery means that your energy is in conflict, and all happiness, all bliss, means that your energy is in harmony. There are two distinct ways to awaken the Kundalini. The first is the one where all the danger lies. In this process, a powerful breathing technique (pranayama) is used to strike the Kundalini. The seat of kundalini, the place of its location, is hammered and moved by breathing, deep and fast breathing. The question "Who am I?" does the same thing; but it hammers the centers from another direction. Deep breathing strikes the center physiologically, and the question "Who am I?" does the same job mentally, psychologically. This question hammers the kundalini with mind energy and deep breathing hammers it with body energy. And if both the hammer strokes are strong enough... Ordinarily there are only two ways of hammering the center - one through breathing and the other through asking "Who am I?" The other approach is to treat the Kundalini as a super intelligent friend who always wants to help you. The Kundalini wants to do whatever it can to help you know it better. It is always awake and moving in your life already. This method uses the sexual energy that is in each of us. These methods are outside the cultural norms of society, and are easily mistaken as sexual indulgence. The difference is that sexual indulgence wastes energy and Tantric methods increase the energy. If you move into sex with awareness, it can turn into tantra. If you move into tantra with unawareness, it can fall and become ordinary sex. It has happened in India – because only India has tried it. All Tantra schools in India, sooner or later, were reduced to sex orgies. It is very difficult to keep aware…it is almost impossible to keep aware.

@Mat Pav Yeah, I feel exactly the way you described. I haven't experienced Infinite Bliss yet but maybe in the future I will.

Enlightenment is the disillusionment of the self as a separate entity. It is not a belief but rather a sort of revaluation common sense; one moment it is obvious to you that you’re an entity imposing it’s will upon the mind-body and the next moment it is obvious to you that no such entity exists. Disillusioning the ego involves a few things: 1) Realising that the self concept (thoughts/images/narratives) is not who you are and disidentifying with it. Detaching is from the self concept is enough if your aim is to reach peace, although you may do away with the self concept altogether since it serves no purpose and can only get in the way. 2) Realising that there was never any entity in control, that there is no real distinction between voluntary and involuntary. The actions and thoughts of the mind-body have been ‘happening’ all long just as the wind happens to blow. After coming to this realisation there becomes nothing left to do but sit back and enjoy the show. The approach changes from one of resistance, neurosis, and constant grasping for control to one of complete acceptance. Bliss/peace/happiness is an not emotional state (although elevated emotional state may be a side effect). It is rather the underlying peace present when in complete acceptance of all that is, including your emotions (being mindful, rather than attaching). Neurosis is the superimposed resistance. It is possible to be at peace while experiencing a depressive emotion; likewise you may also be neurotic while in an ecstatic state. The emotion only becomes ‘negative’ once you have labelled it as such. Acceptance does not mean that you sit idly, taking no action (although that is a valid option). Preferences, values, authentic desires, empathy, love and enjoyment still exist. Only now you are no longer attached to needing any specific outcomes; you are able to play whichever game you wish and engage with it to the fullest, without being hampered or set in a perpetual state of anxiety by the ego. Rigid moral principles will only get in the way of genuine love and compassion and ego will only get in the way of your authentic desires; since the ego is namely concerned with survival, comfort, security and social status, while moral principles are too stringent to allow for the nuance of real situations and give the ego a basis for moral righteousness and the demonization of others. Once you get out of your own way you find that you function effortlessly, the egotistical neurotic whose always trying to call the shots is no longer present, and your actions become much more aligned with your fundamental values. 3) Self realisation; which involves getting a sense of what it is that you are through firsthand experience. It may be interpreted as ‘nothingness’. Nothingness does not mean that ‘something’ does not exist; rather nothingness is more like vacuum of empty space in that it contains the whole universe. In this sense, perception arises out of the void. Nothingness cannot be experienced directly, but you can get a sense that it’s there; similar to the eye’s blind spot, you cannot see it directly but if you hold your finger in the right position you can tell that it’s there. Enlightenment and self realisation are near instantaneous, permanent realisations. They do not require ten years of meditation, nor do they need to be constantly maintained. Once they have been seen, they cannot be unseen. Meditation, yoga, presence, ect. are practices which may be helpful in reaching a state of Being-perception. Being-perception is a temporary state which does require years of practice to attain and can be present to varying degrees, unlike the on/off switch of enlightenment. Although, it is possible to attain B-perception instantaneously under certain circumstances, for instance psychedelic drugs may force you into this state of perception. In ordinary consciousness, the mind is constantly dissecting, labelling, categorising the world; while a great deal of our sensory information is filtered out from awareness altogether. This rubrisisation of our perceptual input causes the world be become familiarised. Being-perception is the disintegration of these abstractions; you experience the raw, unadulterated perception before it is touched by the conceptualising mind (prefrontal processes). The world is viewed in all its 'suchness'. It becomes defamiliarised and the ‘valve of perception’ becomes more open to you. B-perception is magical; it is as if experiencing for the first time. The sky may be perceived as an unimaginably brilliant blue, you may see an infinite complexity in the patterns formed by a wave or in the sound of the rustlings leaves, all the while leaving your experience completely undissected. To experience raw, unfiltered perception is quite possibly the most beautiful things you could experience. B-perception necessarily puts you in an egoless state, although it is not enlightenment. Every human being has experienced moments of egolessness only to return back to the egoic state still attached to their ego. Having an egoless experience does not necessarily trigger the realisations I spoke of earlier. Other transcendent experiences include: - The realisation of the inherent perfection of the world - Unconditional love - Unconditional gratitude I know of no techniques or meditations to attain the three experiences/realisations listed above (perhaps high levels of B-perception will get you there?). They happen to you seemly at random; suddenly overwhelming you as you are taken in by surprise. It is as if the brains 'gratitude/love valve' have opened to the fullest, producing the maximum amount of gratitude or love that the brain can physically produce. You will feel total gratitude for the mere fact of existence itself. People who you previously disliked during egoic state of consciousness will now be approached with nothing but love. You may look towards a rock on the ground and feel overwhelming love for the rock, while seeing its inherent perfection. The experience of just one of these is enough to change your outlook on life, to validate you life and see that it was fundamentally worth living. While I don’t believe enlightenment alone will trigger these experiences, it does seem that they are fundamentally incompatible with the ego; as such enlightenment may be a good place to start. ------- What are your thoughts on these descriptions? Do they match up to your own experiences?

@Dodoster What Ramana's referring to when he says "Silence" is a state of not-knowing, a state that is free of expectation, prediction, and the illusion of knowledge. He's basically saying, "I can't predict or intellectually know anything, so may as well abide in what I know for sure: my Self." Instead, you're equating silence with no-mind and are trying to stop your thinking, hoping for some bliss-explosion that you call "enlightenment." But you'll get nowhere with that because first of all, you can't maintain states of no-mind forever. And second of all, you're refusing to examine all of your most cherished beliefs, which are really what's keeping you from enlightenment. For example, did a "Ramana Maharshi" even exist? How do you know he is the "greatest teacher"? If I were you, I'd take what everyone says (including my words) with a grain of salt. You are the only authority there could ever be on the matter of your experience, because you are it! You are all of it! You're on a singular island of experience. Have you noticed that? There's no such thing as two experiencers. Cheers...

It depends, it depends on the individual. There cannot be any dogmatic statement about it because each individual is so unique. When Basho becomes enlightened he starts singing poetry, poems; Buddha has never done that. When Krishna becomes enlightened he starts dancing, singing; Mahavir has never done that. When Mahavir becomes enlightened he keeps silence for many years, remains absolutely silent, not a ripple is allowed; Meera has not done that. When she becomes enlightened, she dances from village to village, she sings the glory of God. It is very difficult to make a dogmatic statement. Enlightenment is always new, fresh - it is not an imitation, it is not a carbon-copy; it is always original. An enlightened person, if allowed to enter into you, will give you self-evident proofs. But those are not intellectual proofs; they are not arguments of mind. He argues with his whole being. His argument is that of his presence - so allow his presence and don't carry any criterion. If you are a Jain you will miss Buddha; if you are a Jain you will miss Krishna; if you are a Jain you will miss Christ. If you are a Christian you will miss Mahavir. You will carry an idea, a fixed pattern. Don't ask that he should be 'like this'; just be with him. Just sit with him in silence. be open to him. If he has become enlightened, suddenly you will see a throb within you that you have never known before: your energy will start rising. You will see a great silence arising in you, and a great bliss, drop by drop, reaching your innermost core of being. Just be in his presence. If he has arrived, you will feel a sudden pull in your being -- you are being pulled towards some unknown center. And you will feel tremendous beauty, bliss. blessings showering on you. That will be the only criterion; but for that you have to be ready.

@Petervan An amazing tip for starting to enjoy eating healthy which will help you lose weight. Lower your bliss point. What is the bliss point? - The bliss point is the specific amount of satisfaction or stimulation, in which happiness is optimized. It’s the perfect volume of magic fairy dust, that makes you content and happy. Any more, or slightly less will tip you off balance and isn’t as great anymore. The problem with this is that, unless you’re aware of it, you’ll easily fall victim to your unconscious urges. What’s more, if your bliss point is too high, you’ll never be satisfied enough. If your taste buds are under the constant stimulation of processed food and refined carbohydrates, then you’re habituating your mind to be content with nothing less. After a while, you get used to your current bliss point and need to take it to the next level again. On the other hand, if your bliss point is lower, then you’ll get incredible joy from even the smallest of things. You can get immense amount of enjoyment from something so trivial, such as pure water, clean food, less stuff, quality, not quantity relationships. Paradoxically, your happiness increases, as your bliss point decreases. There are several strategies we can use to first lower our bliss point, and then to maintain it at the desired level, without overstimulating it. Fasting - it resets your taste buds Gratitude - abstinence from food makes you more grateful for food Mindfulness - mindful eating makes you appreciate the taste of your food Minimalism - being content with less, in both your food choices and other lifestyle factors It starts with food, but can be applied to anything else as well. Our taste buds and palate are exactly there, where we’ve habituated them. Being used to stimulating food teaches us to not be satisfied with anything less. It's not about eating bland food. It's about teaching yourself to appreciate less stimulating food. Process carbs and sugar create an almost fake stimulus that's causing an unnatural response to your taste buds. Detoxing yourself and reseting your taste buds actually reverses you to your normal state. Hopefully this will help you in making better food choices. You can also check out my blog post about this, in which I go into more detail about every specific strategy and how to do them. Thanks!