Search the Community

Striving for “ultimate happiness” is IMO overrated. For me it is precisely the growth/ work of becoming someone that makes me fulfilled. It is also deeper, because even in the shittiest of days, I still feel I am doing the right thing. I tried being content with existence as is for almost a year. Too much resistance. I realized I have a lot of karma to burn through. Good thing is, bliss is always there to be found if you want to come back to it. So don’t feel bad at all for wanting to explore consciousness.

@Hojo You love Ad-Hominem. You think you're soo selfless and woke, just like the rest of the hippies I've met. Anyone who doesn't care about what is happening in the world right now, but claims he is searching for truth, is nothing more that just a Green Spiritual Ego. "Peace just for me, bliss just for me, I'm the selfless of then all, and I care only for truth". Your truth is nothing more that spiritual narcissism and feelings more selfless than other. Joy just for you, not helping to reduce suffering in the world. You think you so woke because you write "truth" 5 times in 3 sentences. People who think the teachings of Sartre, Schopenhauer, Jung, Nietzsche and Camus are beneath them, just pump there Ego to feel superior. Sartre, Schopenhauer, Jung, Nietzsche and Camus saved the lives of millions of people from suicide and doubt. This is why people who think they are above them miss the essence completely. People who are tripping on Acid yet the have done jack shit for society are judging people who saved millions of lives and reduce suffering for hundreds of millions. This is just green bs.

@Rafael Thundercat @Rafael Thundercat @Rafael ThundercatThundercat(sry for the 3 ping the forum it's acting weird from a phone). I'm sick and tired of people constantly pushing the idea of "truth." The values that truly matter in a philosopher or thinker, to me, are the advancement of humanity’s culture and the reduction of suffering. What truly counts? 1% of people to bliss out in some non-dual state while the world burns?Or everyone to go in that direction? I've met countless so-called "enlightened" hipsters who know nothing about the real world, yet claim to be selfless while indulging in drugs and hedonistic lifestyles. There minds are a melange of purple, blue and green. Until we achieve world peace, eradicate famine, and cure mental and physical illnesses, we’re fooling ourselves if we think we seek truth. What we really want is happiness and peace, but mostly for ourselves. Even Osho fell into this trap. As Leo said, enlightenment is not a magic pill. Take Alan Watts, for example supposedly enlightened, yet he was an alcoholic who abused his wives. I want happiness and peace for everyone, not just for a privileged few. I've met too many people who preach care and compassion, but in reality, only care about their own political parties or personal agendas, while judging others. This is the hypocrisy of the so called "green" mindset. Every time someone loses an argument, they conveniently bring up "truth" as if it's the ultimate trump card. But what good is "truth" when 2 billion people live in poverty and die from easily curable diseases? "Truth" is a useless word because there is no absolute truth that humans can fully understand, maybe 1% of it, at best. We're too limited to grasp the laws of the universe. Anyone claiming they've found "the absolute truth" is lying, because truth is just a perspective, not a fact. Whether it’s the perspective of Buddha, Jesus, Rumi, or Mohammed, it’s still just that a perspective. I learned this from Carl Jung, though many on this forum would dismiss his work because they claim "it's not true spiritual work." At the yellow stage, you realize that every perspective is just that, a perspective. And each one has validity and value, even that of a homeless person. I can't help but laugh when I see people dismissing some of history's sharpest minds, as though their work isn’t even worth considering. That’s the pinnacle of spiritual megalomania. Some people think they're smarter than Sartre or Schopenhauer just because they've had 50 trips on acid or shrooms. As Sadhguru said, "The biggest disease on the planet is that people want to be special. But being special for them doesn't mean blossoming into their most wonderful form, it means being above somebody else." Even Leo is guilty of this (as are most people). In one of his philosophy episodes, he positioned himself as light-years ahead of anyone in the last 6,000 years of philosophical thought. It's just spiritual megalomania. Though, to his credit, he did address some of this in his video about the psychology of being wrong. This is why outside people think actualized.org is a cult. Because no one challenges Leo's frame. "Looks at what you are left with, men who are nothing but afraid of you. " The Wife of Saddam Hussein confronting him after he killed her brother. We need healthy disagreements in order to grow.

@Princess Arabia Two key words You used are realize and recognize, that is what Sadhana works on, because as You say we are already Enlightened, already in the Absolute, which is true in a sense, but we don't recognize it or realize it or forgot it, that is where the work is, its the same with Bliss or Joy, or Healthy Body, or anything that we desire or don't desire, its already present we just have to manifest it in our experience. When one is not in recognition or recognizing it, then that is non Realization, Non Enlightenment, Absolute is still functioning, but its not in the Experience of the Individual, that is the work and difference, and one has to admit that most ppl are not in Realization of it! This makes a huge difference in one's life!

Great question. The mind is "waking up". These questions are the types that has the answers written all over it. It never does. It's the mind that seeks and it's the mind that's looking for it's source. It seeks enlightenment because it thinks it's separate. Anyone that says they're enlightened, that's also the mind. Anyone seeking peace, fulfillment, joy and bliss, that's also the mind. Fulfillment is all there is and peace bliss and joy is already the case. How can there be anything else where there's no real separation, no real time and no space. The mind creates all that and now it seeks the end of itself. Have you ever seen anyone on here claiming to have found anything. It's all just more insights, thoughts, concepts and ideas. THEY NEVER WILL. Blessed Lion says he's taking a break from the forum to seek enlightenment. He doesn't realize that it's everywhere, at all times all at once. The only thing that may happen, is that he recognizes that it was always here and now and cannot be something attained. It is already the case, if you want to use that word. There is nothing but.

If you go so some research on this particular state, you'll see how this time is very powerful. There are people buying things and doing things artificially to get into this state because it's so powerful. Binaural beats are made sometimes to listen to in these states. If you really knew how powerful this state was, you'd be on it. Trust me, it's not a problem. You actually possess a very valuable thing here. We all have it, but yours seem to be stronger and more noticeable. That's why we drink coffee in the morning and do things to wake us up, the conscious mind needs to take over and it's just not there yet. If you were in this state forever and ever you'd be in bliss mode, ok, I'm exaggerating a bit.

I'm in the Same Boat, want the Bliss of Sat Chit Ananda, I think via that route it is the safest and fastest, the other routes have too much drama and suffering involved, don't want any of that at all!.. I think the ones talking about God, or Solipsism are Ego tripping basically, when they refer to themselves and associate it with some other figure from the past that has some status that is what it is, be it Christ, Buddha, or whomever...and to think Your the only one in Existence and the rest of Us are figments of their Imagination is just Narcissistic totally! Your Experience is totally Yours, on that front Your the Center of the Universe when it comes to Experiential aspects of Life, but there are others, and they are as Real as You are!

I see, That´s why most of this forum do not understand me, personally I only care about Bliss, not opening, not love, not nothing, I am willing to sell my soul for the Bliss, that´s why I don´t care for God, reality, or whatever. Liberation is the only goal, God is just a stepping stone, not the end for me. But I accept I will have an alone road ahead because there are few people as crazy as me in this sense, very few. Seems Each path is deeply individual for each Being, and is something important to accept so one is not distracted by other's different motivations.

The point is breaking your limits once, then do more and more, until its something normal to you. Breaking your limits is not achieve bliss or happiness or anything, that could happen but the point is breaking the limits, then you perceive yourself without the slightest doubt as the existence, there is nor another word to describe, you are what exist. Then with our human mind we could more or less understand what this experience is, and how is the configuration of the reality, but it's just relative understanding. The point is your nature, the existence, what are you and what everything is. In my opinion psychedelic are an enormous help, without that you have to be a monk, and it's not sure that you will get it. For me the change is totally obvious, but really I'm not so interesting in achieve more spiritual goals, the breaking of the limits is enough, and happens spontaneously more and more. I see that there is a path in this human life that I have to do, but being open to the unlimited. Then the things start to happen, the synchronicity is obvious

You've done the IE program, follow the basics first, 1) Accept all that is as it Is, absolutely, You can't go half way on this...2) Live Now Totally and 3) Respond to Everything Equally, shorten big time Your List of likes/dislikes,, all of this will stop the STress Response, once that happens Your at Peace, that naturally leads You to Bliss as an Everyday things,,,All of this Clears up Your Karma, that is what is the Glue, so no more new karma being made and the old stuff no longer affects You (see #1 and #2), once that is done, Your Free and it comes naturally!!

Spot on. Although I have an intuition that it won't be the solution... the mind is too complex and smart for any blueprint to be enough to get it back on track... but I guess creating such a resource will at least improve my understanding. Yup, although in this case it can be a problem to engage at all if nothing feels worthy enough from certain states. So you want to force yourself, you may even have the energy, but you just don't see the point. That's also one of the purposes of the blueprint. It's not so much about the knowledge, or the best practices to get back on track. I'm noticing it's really a state of mind that shifts my awareness, and from that position, that elevated perspective, I am effortlessly motivated. So my goal will be to find the right words to make "low me" see what "high me" was seeing. Possibly all I will need is a well crafted perspective statement. Like an eagle grabbing me from the back to 1km above the ground and tells me: this is the path, remember? Even as a very curious guy, a Renaissance Man we might say, unless in a total state of eternal bliss, there will be some suffering -> drive to solve problems and get better -> more learning and maturity to do. I guess I'll just have to remind myself of this from time to time. We'll see. Time to create!

I want to dance like that in total bliss.

Buddha tried particularly to use this method, so this method has become a Buddhist method. In Buddhist terminology it is known as Anapanasati Yoga. And Buddha’s enlightenment was based on this technique — only this. All the religions of the world, all the seers of the world, have reached through some technique or other, and all those techniques will be in these one hundred and twelve techniques. This first one is a Buddhist technique. It has become known in the world as a Buddhist technique because Buddha attained his enlightenment through this technique. Buddha said, “Be aware of your breath as it is coming in, going out — coming in, going out.” He never mentions the gap because there is no need. Buddha thought and felt that if you become concerned with the gap, the gap between two breaths, that concern may disturb your awareness. So he simply said, “Be aware. When the breath is going in move with it, and when the breath is going out move with it. Do simply this: going in, going out, with the breath.” He never says anything about the latter part of the technique. If I say to you, “Observe this flower; observe this flower which I give to you,” you cannot observe it. For a single moment you will see it, and then you will begin to think of something else. It may be about the flower, but it will not be the flower. You may think about the flower, about how beautiful it is — then you have moved. Now the flower is no more in your observation, your field has changed. You may say that it is red, it is blue, it is white... then you have moved. Observation means remaining with no word, with no verbalization, with no bubbling inside — just remaining with. If you can remain with a flower for three minutes, completely, with no movement of the mind, the thing will happen — the beneficence. You will realize. But we are not at all observers. We are not aware, we are not alert; we cannot pay attention to anything. We just go on jumping. This is part of our heritage, our monkey heritage. Our mind is just the growth of the monkey mind, so the monkey moves on. He goes on jumping from here to there. The monkey cannot sit still. That is why Buddha insisted so much on just sitting without any movement, because then the monkey mind is not allowed to go on its way. In Japan they have a particular type of meditation which they call Zazen. The word zazen in Japan means just sitting, doing nothing. No movement is allowed. One is just sitting like a statue — dead, not moving at all Page 71 — Because you are afraid of being total, you breathe shallowly. You breathe just at the minimum, not at the maximum. That is why life seems so lifeless. If you are breathing at the minimum, life will become lifeless; you are living at the minimum, not at the maximum. You can live at the maximum — then life is an overflowing. But then there will be difficulty. You cannot be a husband, you cannot be a wife, if life is overflowing. Everything will become difficult. If life is overflowing, love will be overflowing. Then you cannot stick to one. Then you will be flowing all over; all dimensions will be filled by you. And then the mind feels danger, so it is better not to be alive. The more you are dead, the more you are secure. The more you are dead, the more everything is in control. You can control; then you remain the master. You feel that you are the master because you can control. You can control your anger, you can control your love, you can control everything. But this controlling is possible only at the minimum level of your energy. Everyone must have felt at some time or other that there are moments when he suddenly changes from the minimum level to the maximum. You go out to a hill station. Suddenly you are out of the city and the prison of it. You feel free. The sky is vast, and the forest is green, and the height touches the clouds. Suddenly you take a deep breath. You may not have observed it. Now if you go to a hill station, observe. It is not really the hill station that makes the change. It is your breathing. You take a deep breath. You say, “Ah! Ah!” You touch the center, you become total for a moment, and everything is bliss. That bliss is not coming from the hill station, that bliss is coming from your center — you have touched it suddenly. You were afraid in the city. Everywhere there were others present and you were controlling. You could not scream, you could not laugh. What a misfortune! You could not sing on the street and dance. You were afraid — a policeman was somewhere around the corner, or the priest or the judge or the politician or the moralist. Someone was just around the corner, so you could not just dance in the street. Bertrand Russell has said somewhere, “I love civilization, but we have achieved civilization at a very great cost.” You cannot dance in the streets, but you go to a hill station and suddenly you can dance. You are alone with the sky, and the sky is not an imprisonment. . Suddenly you take a breath deeply, it touches the center and the bliss. But it is not so for long. Within an hour or two, the hill station will disappear. You may be there, but the hill station will disappear. Your worries will come back. You will begin to think to make a call to the city, to write a letter to your wife, or you will begin to think that since after three days you are going back you should make arrangements. You have just reached and you are making arrangements to leave. You are back. That breath was not from you really; it suddenly happened. Because of the change of situation the gear changed. You were in a new situation, you could not breathe in the old way, so for a moment a new breath came in. It touched the center, and you felt the bliss. Shiva says you are every moment touching the center, or if you are not touching you can touch it. Take deep, slow breaths. Touch the center; do not breathe from the chest — that is a trick. Civilization, education, morality, they have created shallow breathing. It will be good to go deep into the center, because otherwise you cannot take deep breaths. Unless humanity becomes non-suppressive toward sex, man cannot breathe really. If the breath goes deep down to the abdomen, it gives energy to the sex center. It touches the sex center; it massages the sex center from within. The sex center becomes more active, more alive. Civilization is afraid of sex. We do not allow our children to touch their sex centers, their sex organs. We say, “Stop! Don’t touch!” Look at a child when he first touches his sex center, and then say “Stop!” and then observe his breathing. When you say “Stop! Don’t touch your sex center!” the breath will become shallow immediately — because it is not only his hand which is touching the sex center, deep down the breath is touching it. And if the breath goes on touching it, it is difficult to stop the hand. If the hand stops, then basically it is necessary, required, that the breath should not touch, should not go deep. It must remain shallow. We are afraid of sex. The lower part of the body is not only lower physically, it has become lower as a value. It is condemned as “lower.” So do not go deep, just remain shallow. It is unfortunate that we can only breathe downwards. You were appreciating the master and you were feeling good, and you were thinking, “Now the master must be pleased.” And suddenly he takes his staff and begins to beat you — and mercilessly, because Zen masters are merciless. He begins to beat you; you cannot understand what is happening. The mind stops, there is a pause. If you know the technique, you can attain to your self. There are many stories that someone attained buddhahood because the teacher suddenly started beating him. You cannot understand it — what nonsense! How can one attain buddhahood by being beaten by someone, or by being thrown out of the window by someone? Even if someone kills you, you cannot attain buddhahood. But if you understand this technique, then it becomes easy to understand. In the West particularly, in the last thirty or forty years Zen has become very much prevalent — a fashion. But unless they know this technique, they cannot understand Zen. They can imitate it, but imitation is of no use. Rather, it is dangerous. These are not things to be imitated. The whole Zen technique is based on the fourth technique of Shiva. But this is unfortunate. Now we will have to import Zen from Japan because we have lost the whole tradition; we do not know it. Shiva was the expert par excellence of this method. When he came to marry Devi with his barat, his procession, the whole city must have felt the pause... the whole city! Devi’s father was not willing to marry his girl to this “hippie” — Shiva was the original hippie. Devi’s father was totally against him, and no father would permit this marriage. So we cannot say anything against Devi’s father. No father would permit his daughter’s marriage to Shiva. But Devi insisted so he had to agree — unwillingly, unhappily, but he agreed. Then came the marriage procession. It is said that people began to run, seeing Shiva and his procession. The whole barat must have taken LSD,

You have misunderstood the teaching. There's no one to say, I won't drive a car since i'm in God realization. God realization is a concept, an idea. It's all concepts and ideas so is enlightenment. "but not within society", is again a mental construct. It's happening regardless of how you see it. There's no this is society so I have to stoop to society's level and live from that place or I have to live from the Absolute and be in bliss and all that. That's all mental stuff, separation, beliefs, ideas, thoughts. Bliss and peaceful is what the egoic mind that doesn't exist strives for. It can't help it. That's what you're talking about. Youlre fantasizing about a God realization, bliss and peace. Reality is all ready that - no matter what the mirage is showing and whatever is appearing.

Not according to sadhguru: https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxJF4Xyli8f0oDyHUFbNtmO9qjUg1JtTEU?si=mRR_k6vwOqtOwMXw Like ive said, pop an oxy and feel for 8 hours what is being self-free and at the same time you being able to manage your work, have sex, talk to your kids... Just kidding, drugs are not the answer but is a good example of that one can be dissolved in Bliss and at the same time engage in the world like the most functional motherfucker. A good example of this is Sadhguru. No one believes sadhguru is real because he is engaged all the time in material stuff...but he has said several times..."within there is no friction for me', "thats why i can have such a tremendous level of activity and not get burn by life in the slightest". The main issue is that most people have never experienced functionality and at the same time blissfulness/no self. Either they have demolished the structure with psychedelics or meditation but also the mind in the process...so they think, you have to choose between spiritual or material. But there are states of consciousness where there is dissolution and at the same time mind is ON and active, this is the King of the King of the states of consciousness... Once you get a touch of this you are amazed at the possibility of the human mechanism. Just because we have not reached that level of mastery within ourselves as a baseline level does not mean is not possible. As you said, there is difference between working 12 hours in tailand sewing clothes for 2$ an hour vs a comfortable job in europe... So even though the absolute is the absolute, all people want the best life experience possible, a memory of the absolute is ultimately useless, because we are always in the NOW what matters is what is your state of consciousness/dissolution NOW.

I get that but i why it is scary? If is good? I also had the emptiness when taking oxycodone, but instead of fear there was nothing, just bliss for me and me...fuck love, love is fear. I prefer the empty bliss, thats why im a mr tree bleeder devotee 🤣 🤣 🤣 Additionally who cares about love? All beings are in their own world, the game is lost at this point, when one opens up to reality the rest of reality is not opened so they give you a slam on the door. Thats why my father hanged himself, he realized love was impossible with the devils motherfuckers, they were going to be devils all their life, so he said fuck it and im pretty proud of it for doing that, he probably attained mukti at that moment of fuck everything 😆 I don´t like the love, i like trascending the love, trascending the infinity, trascend everything, game can not be won, because game itself is karma and duality. it Only exist to go beyond it

You are seriously telling me that you are renouncing your true absolute nature in such a testimony as this. Unbelievable. I know you! And I also know you know who you are, yet you are preferring to mess around with what you are not, dabbling in trinkets rather than savouring treasure. You are exchanging fantasy for reality and choosing to abdicate your supreme kingdom for this make believe cotton candy apparition that your eyes are showing you. You would rather make an empire that rusts and crumbles and revolts rather that do what you were created to do, to extend and share and bliss out on the love of your eternal abode. Damn, well so be it. You have free will so sure, have at it as long as you want. When you again remember as you have before the sheer lunacy of chasing dissatisfaction at every turn, I look forward to catching up with you back home on the throne.

@CoolDreamThanks Happiness/Bliss is not the Goal, but when Your Naturally Blissful of Your Own nature, it is just there like when hunger comes, it just comes up, Bliss can just be there naturally, it lays the Foundation for more Potential within You to become Realized, call it God, Absolute or whatever, but its Potential. When going for basic survival level Desires (survival is about Accumulation or Gathering, whether it is Wood for a fire to keep warm, or Status to gratify Your Ego, or Money to gain power, Sex to gain pleasure, Adventure to feel Alive, its accumulation of some sort), it keeps You on that level and it is never satisfied. Why is Elon still doing what he is doing, he doesn't have to do anything with a personal worth of more than $150 Billion, it is that he is still un-fulfilled, not matter how much more money he makes, how many more things he creates, achieves, sells/buys, whatever happens he will feel un fulfilled because its Accumulation of something he is not, he is not the Body or Mind, but he's living on that level of Awareness, not naturally Blissful, so its endless searching outside of Yourself.. p.s. Nice Sharing, Wonderful exploration and example of what is Possible if one strives and seeks to know..

Additional thoughts (which after further inspection are wrong, see below posts as to why): Romantic relationships are the main idol in this dream. The addiction to them is so deep, it's a core desire, like sex and food. We want relationships for intimacy, pleasure, companionship, meaning, peace. These things are our birthright, but we go about it in an incorrect way. True intimacy, true pleasure, true meaning and true peace is only found in God. The desire for romantic relationship, for sex, for money, and all other idols has to be re-directed back to God. Desire cannot be spread out across multiple things if we want true happiness. God has to be our only goal. It literally feels like desiring for a partner or sex, this desire for God. But God is like the purest partner in existence - She doesn't tolerate a breadcrumb of cheating. If you turn your eyes away from her unto someone else - She interprets that as cheating and leaves you. God, if you want to experience all of Him, requires all of You to be fully dedicated to Him only. Letting go of idols happens only through wisdom. We must see the pain our idols bring us in the end. It's literally this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gaxt347IrFw&ab_channel=iano Most people go around not knowing what they are doing, they think they are seeking happiness, whilst in truth they are seeking for something that will hurt them the MOST. It takes a very wise being to see this and to stop doing it. It's the end of all dreaming. This universe has invisible scales of pleasure and pain. The more intense the pleasure the more intense the pain will be. Romantic relationships offer us the deepest connection, the sweetest sexual experience, the most beautiful nights spent in the arms of our lover. All of this goes onto the pleasure end of the scales. Now, as we all know relationships end and usually in a very painful way. It is usually something like cheating. How deep is the heartbreak when the love of your life, what you considered your soulmate, cheats on you? As deep as the cumulative amount of pleasure was. It's psyche-shattering. It can make you kill yourself. And it's not hypothetical. It happened to me and it happened to you. Not cheating, but the end of a relationship with the love of your life. It's the way this universe is set up. The scales of pleasure and pain are everywhere. You enjoy tasty food? Cancer will eat you alive, literally. It's not a hypothetical, it will happen. You love porn? It will re-wire your brain so that you will not be able to have sex with humans, besides other psychologically damaging things it does. You want a big house and a nice car? Prepare to lose your psychological and physical health to attain that desire. Also be ready to lose it all. There is no winning this game, Morty. Look at Leo - how much he suffers because of his physical health. Look at the world, take it in, see what it is, and let it go in exchange for Infinite Heaven for all eternity. The catch? The journey back home fucking sucks too. Meditating for months on end is so painful. Healing the metaphysical separation from God trauma requires for it to re-surface and that is painful as fuck. But there is no other way - only directly through it. I stopped after 2 months because of the fear and the pain. I'm stuck in a catch 22 - if I stop meditating and dedicating myself to God, there looms a meaninglessness behind every thing I do - I know what I am doing - being mesmerized by the illusion of death. If I do meditate - I get miserable as the unconscious trauma surfaces and I have to work through it. There's a shitload of it. The good thing is that once in a while there's an experience of bliss and the work itself is the only meaningful thing one can do, so it feels like genuine improvement, not just mental masturbation with concepts.

Oh my goodness… who am I kidding… hehe… I’m absolutely smitten with the Australian… I guess I still had residual curiosities about being open to be sexual intimate with others, but it’s even more obvious that it really doesn’t interest me anymore. I’ve been more aware that the memories of who I was… isn't who I am now. Regardless of how time works with my romantic relationship… I’m going to trust it’s exactly what is necessary to be in complete bliss in our union. It’s going to be worth the wait, and I’m patient now… I continue to accept and understand myself more to who I am now. I started to work on my visions after I stopped working construction. I found myself drawn to drawing out visions now. I was drawing with a pad and pencil going through equipment I’d like to have to continue what I’d like to share and express in this journey that is drawing me. But as I was doing this I started to ask if there is a program on my iPad that I could draw using my finger instead of a stylus… hehe I’m not sure why I didn’t look at this before, but yes indeed there are and I’ve gotten swept away drawing on the pad now. It came about because in this documentary I’d like to create I was looking at even the clothes I’d like to wear that represents how I integrate and gain more insights… one way is drawing… I had works of art that I thought I’d just place on Tshirts to wear… as I was placing them onto the program… I started to realize I can continue to extend the visions further or with more clarity. The first design my buddy wanted a shirt as well… so yesterday we spoke to a local who can print it for us. We ordered some shirts… it will be arriving the day I fly out to Indiana, but he’ll get it printed and mail out my shirt to me. I’m working on a second design now and possibly if I get this done before he heads out to Mexico… I’ll go ahead and get this printed out too from the same guy here. I shared a Bufo ceremony with my buddy and it was quite beautiful… he realized just how strong our friendship is… I’m a true friend and it’s was very satisfying him release his emotions and tensions during ceremony. It was again showing me how my normal state seems to be the case even when I’m in the Bufo state. I’ve shared several ceremonies with him so I decided to go first instead of last to see if I can demonstrate how to smoke it better than just describing. I saw that it was easy for me to still assist in him lighting his dose for him and again it was very beautiful. I love him so much and so excited for him as he realizes that he’s wanting to make changes and explore who he is now. We talked about how I wish I could tell him what he needs to do, but that’s his responsibility… and he’s finally realizing he’s more confident into figuring it out for himself. He’s already a confident man… he’s had three successful businesses since he was in his late twenties… and he knows he can figure it out but admits he’s not been as motivated to make changes and that’s just fine… keep at his own pace. He’s also on the verge of selling his home here in this little mountain town… this winter will determine whether he’ll keep his condo on the shores of Mexico… he feels like many opportunities are beckoning him… and he’s aware that his anxiety levels are minimum. I know we’ll be working together in future projects. Maybe he’ll be a part of our “Houston” control center for the awakening spiritual expeditions… maybe who knows for now. The first thing is to get him ready to join us in Aya ceremonies… since he’s back to drinking, he’s back on his blood pressure medicine which doesn’t mix with ceremony. So he went two years without the medication went he stopped drinking… he can figure out how to do it again… if he truly wants to. But if not, I still love him and figure we’ll still find ways to share time together. last weekend we were celebrating Constitution week in our little village. A girl friend of mine asked to help her take pictures of the parade. She gave me her backup camera, a Cannon 60d… and I’m not use to using this type of equipment. I tried practicing at my buddies 71st birthday party as he was singing in a bar, but wow did I suck at adjusting the settings… and the automatic wasn’t that good either hehe… but the parade was in sunny light and I just told her automatic is where I’ll go and hope for the best. Having that camera around my neck did something to me… I started looking at the surrounding area much differently… framing shots to be more creative and harmonious composition wise. It felt like I could be a bit more confident in stepping into locations to “get the shot” that I don’t usually do recording with my iPad… it felt like people posed more for the shot too… not that I really liked posed shots… but with this camera many more we’re open to getting their picture taken. I loved it and it’s funny because I didn’t have it on my equipment list for my upcoming project… but it does have me questioning whether I should add one or not. I’m not good at it now, but I know I will get better with practice. We’ll see how it goes… it’s beautiful right now with the leaves changing colors…. The air has a brisk chill in the morning, but the sun still comes through with its warmth in the morning. My little Elvis is in heaven, but he’s not aware that we’ll be moving along to our next destination. He’s unlikely to be able to go outside since there are neighborhood cats that have already marked my dads house as their territory. But it’s been extremely obvious how much happiness he’s living right now as he has his freedom to roam. He’s such a good cat… comes back when it gets dark… asking to get back out in the mornings when the sun starts to lighten up our little space. I hope to find him a space he’ll continue to enjoy his freedom… we’ll see how it goes. There’s an ideal spot for him, but I’m uncertain it’s timing is now or not… so I’m keeping alternative options open of course. Four days left up here in the mountains… and then back to farmlands of Indiana. The first weekend will be my cousins wedding in the state park… and thinking about going to a meditative cave exploration the second weekend but it’s not set in stone… looking forward to spending time with family again. It’s rocky, but I’m still looking forward to it… going in hopeful. i’ll attach the front photos of my shirt designs I’m working on 😊

Blissful states sounds like heroin states. Like anesthesia. Come with me and you won't suffer again , you just have to give me your will. Why he's not a devote? He's another level of human right? A leader, a guru, and we are in de devote level. He will take care of us with his super powers dealing with those spiritual entities that prevents that we are happy, then we, as his children, could be on bliss. Well.....I think he's a snake, what to do? Anyone is free of choosing what he decides that's better What is his stuff exactly?

Oh and if you want the paradox to close (a duality). Bliss/Suffering. Ignoring yourself or the bits in pain probably won't integrate them into a healthy life, but other times changing focus is enough to put you on the right track.

(N,N DMT, not 5-MeO) I can remember only one time, as a complete beginner, I came into an oval shaped room and some humanoid like beings were trying to teach me something with their hands. That was just a really interesting trip. I was "somewhere". Then after that I've had a lot of mild trips. Just the visuals. But the ones that were really strong always show me complete horror. I reasoned to myself that I always took just one hit too litle (2 instead of 3, as everyone keeps instructing) and I came into some waiting room and if I made a breakthrouth it would pass and I would come to complete bliss. Because of this sheer terror I could never get myself to smoke it more than once or twice a year. And each time it was the same. Showing me hell. So I still have some old stash at for some years now, that I haven't really gotten to yet, and a few days back I decided to do it again, after 2 years. I wasn't scared, because I said I'm gonna go easy. I was actually excited for the first time. No jitters. To smoke a little, just to get those visuals. And I liked it, I wasn't scared of it anymore, so I smoked it for the last 3 days in the evenings. Every time putting a little bit more inside. I loved it, I actually just wanted to smoke it again and again, it was that good. So, yestarday I smoked some again and said I need more. Still in a daze I went to the table and put in twice as much as the last dose. It was a pretty neat I lighted it up, took it all in one long inhale. Waited 10 seconds, exhaled, and immediatelly knew this was it. That feeling when the trip just dawns on you. I laid back and it was strong as hell. Immediately I knew I took too much. But I didn't break through to some blissful dimension. I saw a women standing over me, not actually seeing her but feeling her and her voice, as she said "You've overdone it". Like a paramedic telling me this while we are driving in the ambulance. A similar thing happened some years before. In that trip I was also lying somewhere on the ground and some woman yelling at me "Look what you did!". It felt like I have brokend a large window of her street side shop and was lying in the glass in blood, just looking at her and not able to pick myself up. Like I was a drunktard who had a really really bad accident. So now I'm left wondering about yesterday. Was this again just some space before that bliss? Or did I just jump over to some terror space again? All the while I knew I exist, and that "I am", perhaps I didn't know that I am the same person who I am here in this reality. Or perhaps I did. But no loss of ego I think. No complete loss of identity. It was just me - or should I say some person who did something bad, somewhere - with a woman looking over me and telling me I've overdone it. All this time I kept feeling shame for doing something bad and I was just powerless to the people yelling at me. So. Should I put more in next time? I don't get it. Do I need first to get through some deep trauma in me, before it lets me visit the blissfulness? What? I do have a lot of problem with shame and I haven't yet been able to resolve it in my life. Could it be that it is that's why it's taking me there? Is it a problem of just letting go somehow? I just can't imagine taking a strong dose and actually getting to a nice place. Any insights?

You gotta let go of needing sex, thats when you really see the power of your sexual energy. So basically the entire sensual act of sex but without sex, and your whole life becomes sex. Don't mistake this for 'bliss' or reducing ego, you can still be a horndog just leave out the sex and orgasms. But if you stop touching your weener and completely let go of the need for anything relational then you can simply live moment to moment. There's nothing special about that. It's 'non neediness' level 1000 basically.

imo if you could love everyone and Especially yourself then you would, it would be bliss but you can’t because there is no really free will and now you also feel bad because you can’t love everyone as you "should"