Search the Community

@Truth Addict That is truely quite the claim seeing as he isn't free of guilt already, can you prove that free will is non-existant? @SoonHei you'll find as you go through this life that if you confront something there may be a large amount of short-term emotion and long-term bliss! They key is to confront it of your own accord and to not be forced into it or let it supprise you! If you read and understand the story of Abraham in the bible (first story that popped into my head attacking this concept) this idea will become an evident motif in plenty of other writings and experiences!

@Zigzag Idiot @tsuki I really appreciate your input and intend to respond later. First, some observations this morning. Now that I've been on dates with 4 girls, I get nervous about how and when to propose a next date. And what if they say no? I know the answer to that: I get over it and meet new people. This is the flow of life. So even though I feel more at ease now that I can meet and connect with girls when I want to, I'm still clinging to these particular ones. Not as tightly as if it would be a single person, but still. The feeling of abundance is increased, but not the deep abundance. But I can't help to draw a parallel: I meet a few girls, now I'm scared to lose them. Rich people don't have peace, they worry about their money. I have had an underlying assumption, pretty much all my life, that getting enough money and sex is working towards inner peace. It made sense: my path isn't blocked by lack of anything, I don't have to work so I'm free. I don't have to worry about money because there is enough. I don't have to be harsh with myself to go meet girls because that part is so integrated that it happens by itself. But what if that's wrong? Businesses take work to maintain, you can worry about those. Even plainly having a ton of cash is a huge responsibility: you have to worry about how your investments are doing, you have to make sure that you give enough to charity and that people are seeing that, because more eyes are on you. Most of your friends will be fake friends who hope to get stuff from you. This alone can drive people to suicide. It's still worth doing, but it's not a way to end all worries. You're just worrying about different things. Like RSDTyler likes to say: "Increase the QUALITY of your problems." I'm seeing a couple different girls now. I mean, I don't know whether I'll see them again, and I worry about that I noticed this morning that I want to text them all and set a next date, so that I can feel safe. But I noticed that would be coming from the wrong place, so I didn't. On top of that, I have more Tinder matches than I have attention or energy for. So I kind of gave up, and am seeing all these potential connections being ignored by me, and dying. This also bugs me. Also in the words of RSDTyler: "Stop trying for completion. There is no completion. It will never come." I'm paraphrasing. But, it pans out so far. A few months ago I set out to change my habits and activities so that I would get closer to my goals. Work out, eat better, meditate regularly, get laid, make LP plans. I worked on all of those. What did it bring me? Greater life satisfaction. I don't feel like I'm "wasting" my life anymore Better sense of self-worth. I like explaining my life to people, and don't feel inferior and envious opposite almost everyone, like before. And this is profound. For me. When getting to know people, but also with good friends, I remember always feeling like they have their shit together sooo much more than I do, I'm a mess. That's gone! I know what I'm doing and not doing, and it needs work but I feel valuable and together already. Decreased neurosis. The constant "I should eat better, dammit, I should get laid, damn it, I should ..." chatter is diminished. Greater confidence in my ability to achieve and push through. Because I fell out of the diet and got back up. Now, I fell out of meditation habit, and that makes me feel guilty still, but I'm certain that I'll pick it back up. I feel more comfortable in public places. I used to feel very self-conscious and projecting how people (strangers) see me. When I would overhear conversation, I would project whether I would be friends or foes with these people. There's a lot less of that. Sometimes I just automatically talk to a stranger. And after that it's easy to let go of that connection as well. What did it not bring me? Inner peace. Nothing to worry about. The ability to have an empty mind most of the day. I'm writing this because I'm feeling stressed about a lot of things, and I was hoping to get rid of that. I have to check my phone, answer my email, take care of my relationships, keep a calendar, et cetera et cetera. Also, if I understand David Deida correctly, merging with the feminine is a temporary moment of bliss and emptiness, which the masculine is always seeking, after which he has his purpose to get back to. Giving his deepest gift. Always willing to fight for peace, emptiness, that he never gets to keep. So if there's no end to the rat race, the stress, it becomes more important to be relaxed in it. Since the only way out is death or enlightenment, and both of those are probably far away, I might as well value inner calm over everything. Get some mindfulness into my day. Since that's all the peace I'm going to get. The peace in my daily life. It's not going to happen when I reach the next level: when I get more money or sex. I will have to strive to live peacefully despite there always being things to worry about. At every level. Got up at : 9:30 Days in a row with morning routine : 0 Number of women approached : 19 Total infield time : 12h10 Total meditation time : 13h45 Speeches given : 2 Books read : 0 Currently reading : Stealing Fire - Steven Kotler et. al. Days without smoking : 69 alcohol : 4 caffeine except tea : 6 TV : 0 grains : 17 sugar : 7 dairy : 23 peak orgasm : 5 porn : 26

@How to be wise Excellent. If you stay with the experience, it will gradually shift from nothingness to peace and then bliss.

@mandyjw indeed bless <3 the puppet can dive deep into love and bliss and praise the puppeteer.

@winterknight May I humbly ask you to watch this video when you have time? I think this video nicely demonstrates how doership, the mind and the world are not obstacles to enlightenment or bliss or what have you, in the context of hinduism. From my direct experience, i cannot phrase it better than saying that the mind, the world, and doing are not separate from God.

@winterknight What does it matter if something bad happens to this body specifically? You are familiar with what Ramana told his followers who were weeping as he was about to die. "Why are you so much attached to this body? Where can I go?" In contrast how would you feel when something bad happens comes your way? The answer to both our questions is the same thing, no? Agreed. To rephrase what you said before, a quiet mind is a more of a side effect rather than an end goal. The bliss of peace is beautiful. It is phenomenal. It is indescribably exalted. It is unshakable, even unprocurable. I cannot convey it any better than saying: "there has never been ignorance to begin with." God has never forgotten itself. That whole notion of God's leela is false. but no. It is not miserable to leave such a state. Because it cannot be left to begin with. You know this. You are no longer even able to fall back into ignorance. What then is the reason to reject the world, when the world is not different from God?

Well, all I can say is just be careful that this is not self-deception. When something really "bad" comes your way will you feel that you've intended it? Self-inquiry is not about just attaining a quiet mind, though. It's literally called inquiry, after all. It's trying to see clearly what is. It's not really a "danger." The truth of Self is unaffected either way, but it's simply that the mind may be more or less turbulent, more or less blissful. As Ramana Maharshi says, "The bliss of peace is too good to be disturbed. A man fast asleep hates to be awakened and ordered to mind his business. The bliss of sleep is too enthralling to be sacrificed to the work born of thoughts. The thought-free state is one’s primal state and full of bliss. Is it not miserable to leave such a state for the thought-ridden and unhappy one?"

@Preetom Very true. And nihilism is one way you can fuck up your experience, as you say. Got to say that bliss is highly addictive. You don' want to go back from it.

@Neorez Huh. I'll look into it, thanks. Btw regarding nihilism. Nihilism is when you make detachment into a philosophy as far as I see it. It serves no purpose and depresses you needlessly. The actual experience of the Self is peace and then bliss. You can think of it this way: God has literally designed your body to be naturally be able to uphold a tremendous amount of endless happiness. Then why believe that the world is depressing? As someone who has experienced depression himself by believing in nihilism, i can only recommend you to do more self-inquiry and work that reveals your God nature. Once you get a taste of bliss, there is no way you could even begin to believe in nihilism.

Daddy Mckenna says it like it is. Whoever honestly looked at the right places, it wasn't peace, bliss, love and all that heart crap. This is how boring, flavorless, pointless and scary the Truth sounds when translated through the language of self-agenda. No wonder ego is constantly running after everything BUT the Truth.

@Schahin Yes. The process of natural evolution is still occurring. Evolution and constant change is a very palpable aspect of consciousness itself. People say that Consciousness, bindingness and bliss are the absolute experience of God. But I'd say that at many levels, change and evolution are in effect.

Always wondered (sorry if too ‘adult’ language) if people are subconsciously aware that their sensation of orgasm is bliss ‘ Godlike...and so they just dub it “coming” (as in going toward God). That word applied to that sensation otherwise just makes no sense. Nobody’s about to pop and yells to someone in the next room, like, hang on “I’m coming”. Gettin up and going somewhere is pretty much the last thing they’re about to do, you know? (Hence all the “oh my God” verbiage preceding)

1.75g is a light to moderate dose. Based on what you wrote, you seem to be interested in using psychedelics for personal development (to discover and work through subconscious fears. Especially for your initial time, I would not get close to ego death. It can be very insightful, yet also very destabilizing. And the sub ego death zone can induce anxiety and distraction. I wouldn’t go higher than 1.75g and would consider a bit lower so you still feel grounded during the trip and it is a positive experience. And a light dose is much easier to integrate into sober life. I had a similiar intention when I first used psychedelics - to discover subconscious fears. Ime I would suggest a couple things. First, I would reorient the mind so it is not so self seeking oriented. I’m hearing a self that mushrooms are a tool to get what the self wants - to remove subconscious fears. I could get away with that mindset at lower doses, yet not at moderate or high doses. Here, I would reframe the intention as a humble request that subconscious fears be revealed. I would not approach ego death with any type of agenda. If one goes into that zone with a mindset that they are in control and are using shrooms as a tool, it will likely be a rough ride. When the self dissolves, nonduality doesn’t care about the self. There is no separate self to care about. Yet at 1.75 you would likely be below this zone. Second, I would plan to trip three times on this intention. The first time on a low dose then higher if needed. Trips can be very different based on dose, mindset and setting. The deep insight might not come in the first trip. You may be in bliss the whole or throwing up or staring at something for an hour. If you do three trips, the odds of having one with deep insights is pretty good. As well, the theme of each trip will likely be different. You may be shown the nature of fear from three different perspectives which may give a more complete experience and understanding.

Stop thinking of it as a death. Do you want to kill your ego or experience bliss? Go towards the thing that feels better in meditation.

Got up at : 13:00 Days in a row with morning routine : 0 Number of women approached : 18 Total infield time : 12 hours Total meditation time : 13h40 Speeches given : 2 Books read : 0 Currently reading : Stealing Fire - Steven Kotler et. al. Days without smoking : 64 alcohol : 1 caffeine except tea : 1 TV : 0 grains : 12 sugar : 2 dairy : 18 Porn & Peak Orgasm : 0 This is going to be an unstructured rant. I'm feeling extremely sleepy, excited, horny and unfocused. Last night the girl who I was so enthusiastic about three weeks ago came over again, and we had an amazing time. She's so spontaneous and I like her a lot. I just want to fuck her all night and feed her strawberries. I was a little worried that I wouldn't be able to hold conversation well, because of quitting caffeine that day, but that worry disappeared quickly when I felt how much energy I'm getting from talking to her! The green tea may have helped too. I will quickly describe the state I'm in. My focus is completely shot. Has been all week. I compulsively check Tinder during everything I do. Even in the middle of thoughts. Or reading a book. Or working out. It's gotten really bad. I've been with 3 amazing women this week. It's brought me a lot of bliss and contentment, but also cost me quite some sleep and health (drinking). And I'm still craving more, more, more!! Automatically, compulsively swiping girls on Tinder, getting their numbers, trying to set dates. For last night I even had a backup girl. The only reason I have time to write this now is because my date for today cancelled. And I'm still so. Fucking. Horny. So one thing is clear: if my dick got its way, I would get nothing done at work, would get nothing done on my own projects, and would live in a constant daze of dating girl after girl. While my life falls apart. And I'm not even sure I would care. Okay of course I care, but there's something about getting laid that really takes away a lot of motivation for other things. Like your lizard brain is saying: "keep doing what you're doing, bro! Don't change a thing!" I need to become the master of my own dick. It occurred to me that dating women has simply replaced watching TV series as a pleasurable distraction that I can lose myself in endlessly to get away from my responsibilities and grown up plans and life purpose. I found a new addiction. Okay and I think it's a lot better than being a TV addict. But it's still addiction. I value the richness and color it brings to my life. But it doesn't bring me much else. On the contrary, It takes away motivation to change It costs me a lot of time It costs me a lot of focus (addicted to phone) It costs me a lot of sleep It makes me feel so good that I don't even care if I would smoke or drink. So, in conclusion, It feels like a good idea to spend a lot of time being a manwhore, but my feelings are wrong. More things are falling apart. I did go to the gym 3 times this weekend, but halfheartedly and I skipped a lot of exercises. I am trying out high intensity training as a timesaver, but I freakin' hate it. Probably won't keep that. Haven't done two days with morning routine in a row in a while. This is quite terrible. I would feel bad and guilty about it but my brain is being hijacked by evolution. I'll drag myself out of this hedonistic stupor guys. Gimme a sec.

Gonna journal this whilst it's fresh af in my experience. Currently sat in Costa in the Trafford centre walking around in what feels like a massive infinite boundless bubble.... Okay so just finished the coaoa and shamanic drumming workshop/ceremony. It was a beautiful journey from beginning to end. In the beginning we had to go round the circle and say your name and explain why you came to this event. My answer was. "I have no idea why I'm here but maybe I'll find out." After opening the space with drumming and chakra mantra meditation we all went up to receive our ceremonial grade cocoa deva. We lay down as comfortable as poss and people started their inner journey. I was lay there thinking... The fuck is going on? fuck all is happening, this is shit. I lay there observing my thoughts about other people's journeys and what was going on with them in that moment. Then it hit me. The reason I was here was to just be. Just be still. Be quite. This time it wasn't about an inward journey, this time it was about realising there is no fucking inward journey (fundamentally) and to just be! Game changing insight.... absolute game changer. Experience and experiencer ceased to exist. I lay there in complete bliss for god knows how long. After it finished we all sat up and it felt like I loved everyone. I was connected to everybody. Everyone was me and I was everybody. The more I go to these workshops the more truth prevails. Showing my deepest gratitude for such a beautiful day ❤️

@CreamCat You can have pathologies at each stage. That is why shadow work is important. Although you have a center of gravity at a stage and are centered at 50% of that stage 25% below and 25% above. This is also how you will respond to other humans. The whole spiral is always accessed. Even if you transcend into a higher realm of the psychic, subtle, casual or non-dual stages (Third tier). One has to move down in order to function as long as a body exists. You can have state stages! Which are different from structure stages. For instance, the Vietnamese monks who burned themselves achieve a state stage where they feel absolute bliss. These are called absorptions as far as I know Jhanas. And therefore "transcend" the human body, they still die. This whole thing is still a mystery to me. So, they can both be a living concrete... experience as well as a glimpse into the nature of a state, the so-called state stages. Structures according to Wilber can't be observed since they are like grammar, inherently visceral in one's flesh and bones. Yet, I am going to create a concept one lays out these language patterns or aspects... and then has the ability to observe them. Like using had involved past perfect and now we know that past perfect which is the "completed" past involves these words, rules, structure, grammar, "syntax". States are experiences one can dive into, yet structures are .. like a state of mind that is unconscious, till the second tier is accessed and the periphery of what one usually experiences is being expanded since the whole spiral is first visible at second tier which is yellow. There needs to be a drawn out map or structure in order to relate that there is a structure or to better understand it, that is my point. Looking at the quadrants could help you to understand the theory better. For instance, I could say that the tourquise level of the upper right quadrant which focuses on exterior development of the I, body parts, brain, stomach, guts etc. Is the hypothalamus. Wilber differentiated all of this to draw conclusions and to present a holarchy. A mixture of heterarchy and hierarchy. Spiral dynamics is still focused on values. Shadow work also never ends as long as biology exists according to Wilber. Some drives are inherently biological and sometimes people are unaware of that.

...around your neck and tug you off your cloud but I'm more than just a little curious; how you're planning to go about making your amends ...to the dead? " A Perfect Circle " So glad to see you well. Overcome and completely silent now. With heavens help you cast your demons out..." The never-ending journey comes to an end tonight. Reason is long forgotten. Yet there is one. I may not remember clearly enough, but... this journey has begun. And what begins must end. The idea must have been born at some point. That is simply the nature of ideas. They come to life - they die. They begin - they end. Perfect fucking circle. Some ideas might go unnoticed as they're fading away; dying. And some may swallow you whole as they vanish into nothingness; never to return. At times it was impossible to imagine being cool with death. Now impossible is no more. Now may bring death, yes. But death can never take now away. Even death has to die, disappear. And it will die right about now. Now contains all. Nothing can escape nothing. Detachment might also be rude. Sudden. Unexpected. Painful. Terrifying. Absolute horror. All depends on how attached one is to all. How willing to let go; fully and forever. How many strings are there still left to pull. How deeply one believed into illusion. Maya was my first love. I must've been around seven. It was love at first sight. Innocent and pure; as a special spark, recognized even by a child that has barely stepped into the world. I kid you not. Real story. Her name was actually and totally Maja and we were neighbours back in the day when I was still living in Serbia. Movement was not alien, even back then. My mother would move us around often. Until we left the country altogether. Never heard of Maja since. I guess she's telling her own story. Who knows? No one. Illusion was loved. Still is. I cannot unsee the perfection it holds. The flawless reflection. Following one closely, precisely. Everywhere, at all times. It's a true masterpiece. Would expected nothing less from God. Cut the cord and you will see no tomorrow. Tomorrow never comes. Tomorrow never was. And even though yesterday all your troubles may have seemed so far away; now is the time to believe in yesterday no more. I had a great story going on here. Really. It was all-inclusive. Drama, romance, action, comedy, musical, fantasy. Wild dreams, passion, love, sex, spirituality, bliss, force, will, dedication, belief. Pain, struggle, suffering, loss, neglect, abuse, solitude, desperation. It's a killer story. It's a story about an abandoned six year old who desperately fell in love with music and has taken a holy vow; Never to stop until the dream came true. Ivan had nobody since forever. That too was not alien. In fact; it was a necessary part of the story. Hence Ivan's struggle to deal with and express his pain. His thoughts, his feelings. His mind, his heart. All Ivan ever wanted was to pour it all out onto the world. All through melodies and rhythm. Music was love unlike any other. Awareness identified with music more than it did with the characters, or the story. Awareness got attached to the beauty of sound, badly. Awareness never really believed it was human. Something has always been "off". Smelling funny. But awareness paid no attention to things that seemed off. It was way too occupied with dreaming the dream. Exploring and expressing itself through young Ivan, who knew exactly what his mission was. His calling. His purpose. The co-operation was beautiful, beyond any description. Brings tears to the eyes. Eyes that are dead. Young Ivan was always somehow, kinda aware of awareness. But he was way too immersed in practicing on his instrument of choice; day and night. Talk about willpower. Attachment to parents and relatives never even had the chance to develop itself. There just was nobody around. All there ever was, was a massive hole. A black one. A void. Emptiness. A sense of missing something big. No real sense of home. Music slowly but surely filled the void though. Healed the wounds. Showed direction. Navigated. Gave meaning. Inspired Ivan to be, to persist, to continue, to live, to dream. All until the dream was starting to become real enough. Ivan pushed as far as he could go. The guy is phenomenal. Absolutely amazing. I love him dearly. I always will. Ironically, as the dream started to become real, it simultaneously started falling appart. Slowly but surely. Fast and rude. Out of nowhere. Yet somehow it was ever-expected. Awareness took over completely. Even music had to go. No thing was left for Ivan to hold onto it. All turned to sand as he was desperately trying to get a grip. The story became too heavy to carry around. Nothingness asks no questions. Makes no exceptions. Interprets no difference. All must go. And all goes now, as the night turns into day. I know the pieces fit, because I watched them fall away. Countdown to nothing. No thing can follow into nothingness. What once was built with love, dedication, will and care - now is being destroyed, erased. Intentionally. On purpose. Total deconstruction is necessary and obviously relevant. Resonance is higher than ever. No one really knows the reason why. No one is in charge. It's the only possible way. May as well be called destiny. The prophecy has been fulfilled. Reconstruction will always be a possibility. Imagination will not seize to be. But now the story must go, completely. Death comes for all, indeed. Resistance is no more. Your halo is slipping down; to choke you now. As much as I would like to take credit for all or any of this, I cannot. I cannot unsee nothing. Nothing was ever behind my actions, thoughts, visions, dreams. It was nothing all along. Nothing will carry on now. It may have been all for The Dream... But death has come knocking on the door, claiming it's own. Declaring the end of the journey. It may seem like it's way too early... Yet one cannot deny divine timing and it's perfection. I have to let death pass through now. It's the only way to transcendence. To wake up fully. Freedom is. Love is. Abundance is. Creation will still be. Co-creation will still be. No one knows about it. No one will create nothing, forever. " Recall the deeds as if they're all someone else's atrocious stories... Now you stand reborn before us all, so glad to see you well... And not to pull your halo down, around your neck and tug you to the ground... But I'm more than just a little curious; how you're planning to go about making your amends ...to the dead? " [ this topic was inspired by APC's outstandingly amazing track; " the noose". You should go enjoy the crap out of it ] ; Goodbye Ivan.

So yesterday I woke up next to one girl, had sex with her, and that night slept with the other girl. I am on peak orgasm again, so this is making me feel quite empty. I'm painfully aware now that sex is not as big a deal as I thought it was. And how my unsatisfied cravings have festered and made it seem so all-important and worth striving for. I'm reading my vision statement, and half of it is about striving for abundance in sexual options, becoming better at picking up girls, living in a sex-positive commune even. All good things, but written from the perspective that having sex is a good way to spend almost all my time. It's a classic case of the excessive fantasies that arise from a craving before it is satisfied. Hungry, at a buffet: I'm going to eat SO MUCH of EVERY kind of this food! A little later: nope, full. Horny, watching porn: This is so good, I'm going to fap 4 times to this! One fap later: nah, that's enough of that. Poor as a student: I want to strive all my life to be FILTHY RICH!! Me, until a few days ago: Sex is so awesome that I want to dedicate a huge chunk of time to meeting and fucking as many girls as I can! Two fucks later: hmm, cravings are gone, what else could I be doing? These are my expectations: After the initial excitement, I will feel exactly the same when there's 10 girls in my rotation instead of 2. After the initial excitement, I will feel exactly the same when theres a million in my bank account instead of a thousand. After the initial excitement, I will feel exactly the same when all my time is free time instead of only 70% of it. I'm a pretty happy guy these days, and there is no 'extra' permanent happiness to be gained from achievements. I don't want to become a pleasure rat, just putting his dick in and out warm holes because it's his only source of bliss. Money and sex seem to be worth striving for having enough that the lack of it doesn't distract you from your purpose, and once you have that, it becomes an empty pursuit and it's best not to chase it further. I'm thinking about bankers working themselves to death. About CEO's of huge enterprises that they built themselves, who continue to expand it even though they would be better served spending less time on it and more on being with their family, or spirituality / just being. At some point people apparently forget that their pursuit started to fulfill a need, and now that the original need is gone they confuse their pursuit with meaning. Get a bit of wealth? Great! Hmm, but now I feel the same. Get MORE wealth, that'll do it for me! Then I can feel like I am spending my time well, and basically only then can I have permission to feel good for eternity. Studies have shown that regular cocaine users get their dopamine rush right before they snort it. In other words, the pleasure is in the anticipation, it's not even because of the drug anymore. Just like lifelong gamblers are addicted to anticipation. It feels good the first couple times, and then you get addicted to the anticipation of how good you think you will feel. Which doesn't pan out. I expect you can addict yourself to making money like that. Oh and I also noticed that fucking a hot girl is nowhere near as good as the anticipation of it. There are blissful moments, sure, but if I'm honest, I can feel just as good masturbating and fantasizing. So how frequently do I want to have sex for it to be enough? No idea. Probably best to just get good at pickup, so I can go meet a woman whenever I feel that it's time. And then I don't have to worry about it anymore. The lack of pickup skills won't distract me anymore. That's valuable, I think. I feel a desire to spend more time on concentration exercises and meditation.

It is what is when you inquire look deeply into who you are. I could call it pure being, being-consciousness-bliss, that which is beyond all dualities. There are many words for it, but all of them are ultimately inaccurate. What exactly do you mean by that question? There are many things I could say in response: it's a koan, which, if you reflect on it, will lead you to enlightenment; it's meaningless, because all language is meaningless; it means there is knowledge here for those who seek it; that this mind no longer considers itself to be a separate entity; that I don't exist; that all of us are enlightened and therefore so am I. All of them and none of them are true.

You are on the good path. Maybe you feel those parts of the body that you have not used before. So lower back pain or general tightness, not knowing what to do, etc. Maybe is time to let go, relax, meditate until bliss arises. Doctors are not trained beyond reductionism. So in other words this is how the unknown feels, depression, desperation. Use good foods to heal faster. If you really brave to awaken, you have to conquer the nightmare, and the nightmare is very big, is interconnected with all humanity's subconscious. Those feelings usually, the majority are not yours. GG

Good deeds are the opposite of bad deeds. Love is the opposite of hate. Bliss is the opposite emotional pain. So why are these promoted in spiritual path? Why are called as aspects of enlightenment? How does being moral contribute to spiritual path?

Yes I plan to start off with a mini dose. The insanity zone isn’t all that bad especially if you’ve gotten rid of religious beliefs...because having those and losing touch with reality can be a very scary experience ?. Also it naturally happens as a defense mechanism when under severe stress for too long and when I say defense I mean the mind has pleasant beliefs that are irrational to the average person to stop the pain and instead experience bliss... I’m actually excited to witness another reality and think my beliefs are primed to experience ‘truth’. I’m also looking forward to coming back and reflecting. There’s very little if not nothing.. I can’t handle and overcome ?

@winterknight Yes, you are absolutely correct. Through experience of surrender and it fucking up my life the surrender couldn't continue. I have no desire to be in that space. It doesn't work for my family. How the hell can you get around that? If you can honestly tell me that there can be surrender with functionality that doesn't require a nanny and personal assistant, I'd happily go there. Can you? I'm a 40 yo single woman BTW. Two young kids. Falling apart needs space, IMO, that I don't have. It feels like I've gone as far as I can within the framework of my current life situation. I have changed that situation as much as I can. Any more would involve ditching the kids and moving interstate. Um, no. Please understand that I do know what living in that space feels like. Really. It is everything that you describe. Just beautiful still space where the sense of 'I' was. Where a different type of thinking happens. Life just happens. This has been part of my reality on and off for a while (not on drugs). It just pisses off my family. There is nothing wrong with living more in 3D. It just is. When I say 3D, my reality isn't anything like what it was. There is still a strong experience of the world being illusiory/non-dual, there is very minimal suffering, and 90% of the time there is bountiful joy and bliss. Sometimes there is desire to go deeper, so I do. This model is realistic in a western world. As far as I'm aware yours is not necessarily, but feel free to educate me. BTW, a few very good teachers of mine have agreed on escapism. Life is subjective. I can agree and disagree with everything you say, it's more a matter of is it helpful.

Yes I have followed the links but they don't really reveal much about you, which is what I'm interested in: learning more about you. That's if you don't mind. I have heard and learned a lot about enlightenment , but not much on it's effect on the average person. I've heard about the eternal state of bliss or the end of suffering, merging with the very fabric of reality, becoming infinite, awakening from our 'dream state' and on and... But then at this moment in time I don't feel like I want to stop any suffering or confusion or experiencing what people tend to refer to as ego death and all of that. I'm quite satisfied with the way things are right now. But I am interested in the effects, in terms of how you go about your daily life and see the world. Which brings me to this second question: What are your ingredients of identifying that you'd consider true? You say "Truth cannot be an object of awareness.", what 'tool/tools' did you use to draw this conclusion.