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@Aakash Only realization will allow you to truly understand what life without desire means. Happily, a life without desire is happiness and bliss. Sitting and doing nothing without directing awareness on awareness is quite difficult. Of course, it can be done, but it will not produce desirelessness.

@FoxFoxFox I'm not trying to find true nature, unconditional joy or peace, i'm simply just trying to see what a life with no desire is like currently, as i've mentioned above, the most accurate decision , is to sit and do nothing, whether it is in bliss or not, you are still doing nothing. its like saying i'm willing to sleep for my whole life if that was an option.

Hello, Firstly, when I say 'god' I mean 'eternal consciousness' and I'm going to be talking about my human experience only(as in my present form, I don't know any better)...cbf saying 'eternal consciousness' so just to reiterate God = 'eternal consciousness'... Ok i've said it a fair few times now So I have this theory that the way we experience our dreams is the way God experiences our existence. That includes the nightmares. So there are many layers of dreams. With my experience that I can consciously remember - is standard dreams, nightmares and lucid dreaming(also sleep paralysis but that's another story). I wonder if dreams are a underestimated clue for us to give us a glimpse of how God observes/experiences us as humans. I mean, in a dream/nightmare we can't actually feel 'physical' pain however we do feel all the emotions with that experience as it is happening(when unaware that we are dreaming), it feels completely real, even if it is something ridiculously outrageous and nonsense once we are awake from the dream, but when in the dream it feels relative. Credibility is something I wouldn't even think about questioning whilst in a dream(and not aware that I am dreaming). So with the dreams and nightmares when we are unaware - could be the same as God in us, living our human lives and not being aware of God in us(and vice versa God not being aware of self in us) and that the 'lucid' dreams are the same as us/God being 'awake' and being aware of God in us/in everything. So with that being said, maybe we have it in reverse(dreams and being awake). The other thing I have been pondering about is this; For someone who has never experienced any realisations etc in that lifetime and has gone through life in mostly delusion, torment and suffering... When they die, I would think that they would get the biggest shock, joke, absolute delight/euphoria, outrage(simultaneously with disbelief, belief, disbelief, belief..etc) which would be felt so strongly by that persons consciousness and together felt by God peaking to a orgasmic unconditional love sensation... ok ok. So for a person who is already enlightened to die... I guess that experience would be different with intense emotions stemming from a different realisation(eg.. this is what it is like to be completely out of the human perspective and into the perspective of whatever the fuck I want)... but it makes me think that the 'orgasm' at physical death probably wouldn't be as strong as the realisation of the 'unenlightened' person or maybe just a different type hahahaha(maybe just not as funny coz the jokes already been had I really don't know). The other thing a have been pondering on is.. yes just like our language and time, positive and negative are just concepts that we created. I'm going to speak about things from my perspective as a human who likes to feel what we label as 'pleasant and good' sensations. Eg I think love and orgasm are the best feelings ever. I don't like to feel the shitty feelings like pain and suffering.. Pretty standard. However, in my experience with my episodes/glimpses into realisation, what I understood in the communication was that we as humans are special in that we have given creation to these intense feelings of love and physical orgasm etc intensified from a human perspective that previously did not exist(not to say other creatures we don't even know about haven't produced such experiences... I wouldn't fucking know) which is intense as fuck. Yes the pain and suffering is also intense however, I don't think the mass, immaterial, everlasting brain(consciousness) chooses to feel the 'negative' feelings. I do think that it chooses to feel the 'positive' feelings(perhaps negative as a reminder of how awesome it has it in order to be able to choose?). And that is what is considered 'heaven' if you like - being a consciousness who chooses unconditional love because although it has unlimited capacity, it also has the intelligence & freedom to choose. Yeah you could say if it has unlimited capacity why would it just not feel everything? Well, I believe it does like us when we are dreaming but that's it. I don't think it chooses to put itself through shitty experiences over and over again like we do as humans. I'm not saying it hasn't experienced all the shitty feelings(coz it does through us and everything) but in its purest form, I think it chooses not to. Lets say I'm God in its purest form, no material attachments, unlimited capacity blah... To put it simply I have the choice to exist as love or hate. I know I would choose the former... I also realise with us as humans that without the crappy things happening to us, we wouldn't be able to recognise and appreciate the good things.. hmmm maybe that is also another one of our missions to the universe, to take one for the collective team.. Perhaps we are a constant reminder to the universe that being formless is much more appealing than being form. I guess if I was a immaterial universe baby who could do anything and not feel physical pain, after a while I would probably get sick of myself and seek out more only to be reminded of how good I actually have it(after coming back from a physical form). As long as things are always moving/transforming which is inevitable regardless of whatever happens, there will always be entertainment/experience for the universe... this would be happening simultaneously and I wonder how many other planets, dimensions etc exist with beings doing the same thing as us but through their unique experiences and how long it takes other existences to evolve to such a state that interests the universe. Perhaps when Love gets lost and no longer exists in a species as a whole, is when that species is no longer worth observing and being part of(maybe this is what contributes to extinction). I guess it also comes down to focus, different points in dimensions that the universe chooses to focus on(at the same time as everything getting recorded and accessible whenever just like a unlimited hard drive). I think it is interesting that to date we have not yet the capabilities to explore far enough to find other life forms outside of earth(or maybe we have but it is secret information) anyhow, what I'm saying is regardless of whether we have or we haven't - Earth is so far away(in human measurement) from any other source of sentient beings - I think that this fact, in itself is another massive clue indicating us to search inwards. As in yes, we suck, were selfish and brutal and all the shitty things, but we are also amazing, loving and beautiful beings capable of being aware of God within sooo... from what I understood was that pure formless God 'chooses' to take what God considers 'good' feelings/thoughts which would be relative to eternities experiences lol eg) from humans - love, sex and go further... immaterial creation of fantastical creatures doing all sorts of fun shit, somersaults, flying, swimming, music, frequencies etc etc(including all the other non-human experiences, creations etc) What an imagination!! But what if imagination = reality?! Anyhow, can also flick through the painful/annoying shit if it feels like it. Also, we as humans have contributed heavily and intensely. I know you can argue that God is neutral and I am simply coming at it from a human/egotistical perspective(maybe I am)... but with my own personal realisations the messages I understood were so obvious to me, in that human death means absolute bliss, human life means delusional pain and suffering. Hmmm...and to believe that can be dangerous from a human perspective if we haven't had the training or prior understanding(when I first had these blasts of realisations in my early 20's.. I did end up in a mental hospital for a few weeks). Whatever form we are in adds to the collective experience. The other thing I'm trying to get my head around is the consciousness within us that does not want to let go of the filtered human understanding. So if I died as a human and was exposed to the truth but was too stubborn and scared to accept the truth.. what would happen to that part of my consciousness? Would it just be floating there in condensed negativity, in accumulation with other same consciousness that were also unable to let go of the delusional existence they just came from? Is that a black hole? Or maybe that part of me would default into a fetus! I know a lot of these ponderings may conflict with each other.. In everyday life I'm still anxious as fuck..there's a lot I'm unable to actively maintain, but I guess in my early 30's I have been gradually getting kinda better with self love etc If you did end up reading this. Thanks If not.. I am Lolithania queen of the dessert rhinos and have come to eat your babies.. what. -Mish

Once you have worked through all dark memories, there is constant peace & bliss. Nothing will be able to move that. You will be living in heaven, literally.

@Tausif Ahmed Your immediate experience is the only thing you have of reality. In other words, what you experience is what you are, and that is reality, regardless of how that experience looks like. There is an important distinction between an spiritual experience and enlightenment. An spiritual experience, as the name suggest, should really only be used to refer to experiences that has something to do with the spiritual dimension of consciousness. In contrast, enlightenment is complete awareness of your true nature as consciousness, independent of whatever dimension the "I" experiences. From "I am" to "I-I" to silence and bliss.

@Truth Addict That is truely quite the claim seeing as he isn't free of guilt already, can you prove that free will is non-existant? @SoonHei you'll find as you go through this life that if you confront something there may be a large amount of short-term emotion and long-term bliss! They key is to confront it of your own accord and to not be forced into it or let it supprise you! If you read and understand the story of Abraham in the bible (first story that popped into my head attacking this concept) this idea will become an evident motif in plenty of other writings and experiences!

@Zigzag Idiot @tsuki I really appreciate your input and intend to respond later. First, some observations this morning. Now that I've been on dates with 4 girls, I get nervous about how and when to propose a next date. And what if they say no? I know the answer to that: I get over it and meet new people. This is the flow of life. So even though I feel more at ease now that I can meet and connect with girls when I want to, I'm still clinging to these particular ones. Not as tightly as if it would be a single person, but still. The feeling of abundance is increased, but not the deep abundance. But I can't help to draw a parallel: I meet a few girls, now I'm scared to lose them. Rich people don't have peace, they worry about their money. I have had an underlying assumption, pretty much all my life, that getting enough money and sex is working towards inner peace. It made sense: my path isn't blocked by lack of anything, I don't have to work so I'm free. I don't have to worry about money because there is enough. I don't have to be harsh with myself to go meet girls because that part is so integrated that it happens by itself. But what if that's wrong? Businesses take work to maintain, you can worry about those. Even plainly having a ton of cash is a huge responsibility: you have to worry about how your investments are doing, you have to make sure that you give enough to charity and that people are seeing that, because more eyes are on you. Most of your friends will be fake friends who hope to get stuff from you. This alone can drive people to suicide. It's still worth doing, but it's not a way to end all worries. You're just worrying about different things. Like RSDTyler likes to say: "Increase the QUALITY of your problems." I'm seeing a couple different girls now. I mean, I don't know whether I'll see them again, and I worry about that I noticed this morning that I want to text them all and set a next date, so that I can feel safe. But I noticed that would be coming from the wrong place, so I didn't. On top of that, I have more Tinder matches than I have attention or energy for. So I kind of gave up, and am seeing all these potential connections being ignored by me, and dying. This also bugs me. Also in the words of RSDTyler: "Stop trying for completion. There is no completion. It will never come." I'm paraphrasing. But, it pans out so far. A few months ago I set out to change my habits and activities so that I would get closer to my goals. Work out, eat better, meditate regularly, get laid, make LP plans. I worked on all of those. What did it bring me? Greater life satisfaction. I don't feel like I'm "wasting" my life anymore Better sense of self-worth. I like explaining my life to people, and don't feel inferior and envious opposite almost everyone, like before. And this is profound. For me. When getting to know people, but also with good friends, I remember always feeling like they have their shit together sooo much more than I do, I'm a mess. That's gone! I know what I'm doing and not doing, and it needs work but I feel valuable and together already. Decreased neurosis. The constant "I should eat better, dammit, I should get laid, damn it, I should ..." chatter is diminished. Greater confidence in my ability to achieve and push through. Because I fell out of the diet and got back up. Now, I fell out of meditation habit, and that makes me feel guilty still, but I'm certain that I'll pick it back up. I feel more comfortable in public places. I used to feel very self-conscious and projecting how people (strangers) see me. When I would overhear conversation, I would project whether I would be friends or foes with these people. There's a lot less of that. Sometimes I just automatically talk to a stranger. And after that it's easy to let go of that connection as well. What did it not bring me? Inner peace. Nothing to worry about. The ability to have an empty mind most of the day. I'm writing this because I'm feeling stressed about a lot of things, and I was hoping to get rid of that. I have to check my phone, answer my email, take care of my relationships, keep a calendar, et cetera et cetera. Also, if I understand David Deida correctly, merging with the feminine is a temporary moment of bliss and emptiness, which the masculine is always seeking, after which he has his purpose to get back to. Giving his deepest gift. Always willing to fight for peace, emptiness, that he never gets to keep. So if there's no end to the rat race, the stress, it becomes more important to be relaxed in it. Since the only way out is death or enlightenment, and both of those are probably far away, I might as well value inner calm over everything. Get some mindfulness into my day. Since that's all the peace I'm going to get. The peace in my daily life. It's not going to happen when I reach the next level: when I get more money or sex. I will have to strive to live peacefully despite there always being things to worry about. At every level. Got up at : 9:30 Days in a row with morning routine : 0 Number of women approached : 19 Total infield time : 12h10 Total meditation time : 13h45 Speeches given : 2 Books read : 0 Currently reading : Stealing Fire - Steven Kotler et. al. Days without smoking : 69 alcohol : 4 caffeine except tea : 6 TV : 0 grains : 17 sugar : 7 dairy : 23 peak orgasm : 5 porn : 26

@How to be wise Excellent. If you stay with the experience, it will gradually shift from nothingness to peace and then bliss.

@mandyjw indeed bless <3 the puppet can dive deep into love and bliss and praise the puppeteer.

@winterknight May I humbly ask you to watch this video when you have time? I think this video nicely demonstrates how doership, the mind and the world are not obstacles to enlightenment or bliss or what have you, in the context of hinduism. From my direct experience, i cannot phrase it better than saying that the mind, the world, and doing are not separate from God.

@winterknight What does it matter if something bad happens to this body specifically? You are familiar with what Ramana told his followers who were weeping as he was about to die. "Why are you so much attached to this body? Where can I go?" In contrast how would you feel when something bad happens comes your way? The answer to both our questions is the same thing, no? Agreed. To rephrase what you said before, a quiet mind is a more of a side effect rather than an end goal. The bliss of peace is beautiful. It is phenomenal. It is indescribably exalted. It is unshakable, even unprocurable. I cannot convey it any better than saying: "there has never been ignorance to begin with." God has never forgotten itself. That whole notion of God's leela is false. but no. It is not miserable to leave such a state. Because it cannot be left to begin with. You know this. You are no longer even able to fall back into ignorance. What then is the reason to reject the world, when the world is not different from God?

Well, all I can say is just be careful that this is not self-deception. When something really "bad" comes your way will you feel that you've intended it? Self-inquiry is not about just attaining a quiet mind, though. It's literally called inquiry, after all. It's trying to see clearly what is. It's not really a "danger." The truth of Self is unaffected either way, but it's simply that the mind may be more or less turbulent, more or less blissful. As Ramana Maharshi says, "The bliss of peace is too good to be disturbed. A man fast asleep hates to be awakened and ordered to mind his business. The bliss of sleep is too enthralling to be sacrificed to the work born of thoughts. The thought-free state is one’s primal state and full of bliss. Is it not miserable to leave such a state for the thought-ridden and unhappy one?"

@Preetom Very true. And nihilism is one way you can fuck up your experience, as you say. Got to say that bliss is highly addictive. You don' want to go back from it.

@Neorez Huh. I'll look into it, thanks. Btw regarding nihilism. Nihilism is when you make detachment into a philosophy as far as I see it. It serves no purpose and depresses you needlessly. The actual experience of the Self is peace and then bliss. You can think of it this way: God has literally designed your body to be naturally be able to uphold a tremendous amount of endless happiness. Then why believe that the world is depressing? As someone who has experienced depression himself by believing in nihilism, i can only recommend you to do more self-inquiry and work that reveals your God nature. Once you get a taste of bliss, there is no way you could even begin to believe in nihilism.

Daddy Mckenna says it like it is. Whoever honestly looked at the right places, it wasn't peace, bliss, love and all that heart crap. This is how boring, flavorless, pointless and scary the Truth sounds when translated through the language of self-agenda. No wonder ego is constantly running after everything BUT the Truth.

@Schahin Yes. The process of natural evolution is still occurring. Evolution and constant change is a very palpable aspect of consciousness itself. People say that Consciousness, bindingness and bliss are the absolute experience of God. But I'd say that at many levels, change and evolution are in effect.

Always wondered (sorry if too ‘adult’ language) if people are subconsciously aware that their sensation of orgasm is bliss ‘ Godlike...and so they just dub it “coming” (as in going toward God). That word applied to that sensation otherwise just makes no sense. Nobody’s about to pop and yells to someone in the next room, like, hang on “I’m coming”. Gettin up and going somewhere is pretty much the last thing they’re about to do, you know? (Hence all the “oh my God” verbiage preceding)

1.75g is a light to moderate dose. Based on what you wrote, you seem to be interested in using psychedelics for personal development (to discover and work through subconscious fears. Especially for your initial time, I would not get close to ego death. It can be very insightful, yet also very destabilizing. And the sub ego death zone can induce anxiety and distraction. I wouldn’t go higher than 1.75g and would consider a bit lower so you still feel grounded during the trip and it is a positive experience. And a light dose is much easier to integrate into sober life. I had a similiar intention when I first used psychedelics - to discover subconscious fears. Ime I would suggest a couple things. First, I would reorient the mind so it is not so self seeking oriented. I’m hearing a self that mushrooms are a tool to get what the self wants - to remove subconscious fears. I could get away with that mindset at lower doses, yet not at moderate or high doses. Here, I would reframe the intention as a humble request that subconscious fears be revealed. I would not approach ego death with any type of agenda. If one goes into that zone with a mindset that they are in control and are using shrooms as a tool, it will likely be a rough ride. When the self dissolves, nonduality doesn’t care about the self. There is no separate self to care about. Yet at 1.75 you would likely be below this zone. Second, I would plan to trip three times on this intention. The first time on a low dose then higher if needed. Trips can be very different based on dose, mindset and setting. The deep insight might not come in the first trip. You may be in bliss the whole or throwing up or staring at something for an hour. If you do three trips, the odds of having one with deep insights is pretty good. As well, the theme of each trip will likely be different. You may be shown the nature of fear from three different perspectives which may give a more complete experience and understanding.

Stop thinking of it as a death. Do you want to kill your ego or experience bliss? Go towards the thing that feels better in meditation.

Got up at : 13:00 Days in a row with morning routine : 0 Number of women approached : 18 Total infield time : 12 hours Total meditation time : 13h40 Speeches given : 2 Books read : 0 Currently reading : Stealing Fire - Steven Kotler et. al. Days without smoking : 64 alcohol : 1 caffeine except tea : 1 TV : 0 grains : 12 sugar : 2 dairy : 18 Porn & Peak Orgasm : 0 This is going to be an unstructured rant. I'm feeling extremely sleepy, excited, horny and unfocused. Last night the girl who I was so enthusiastic about three weeks ago came over again, and we had an amazing time. She's so spontaneous and I like her a lot. I just want to fuck her all night and feed her strawberries. I was a little worried that I wouldn't be able to hold conversation well, because of quitting caffeine that day, but that worry disappeared quickly when I felt how much energy I'm getting from talking to her! The green tea may have helped too. I will quickly describe the state I'm in. My focus is completely shot. Has been all week. I compulsively check Tinder during everything I do. Even in the middle of thoughts. Or reading a book. Or working out. It's gotten really bad. I've been with 3 amazing women this week. It's brought me a lot of bliss and contentment, but also cost me quite some sleep and health (drinking). And I'm still craving more, more, more!! Automatically, compulsively swiping girls on Tinder, getting their numbers, trying to set dates. For last night I even had a backup girl. The only reason I have time to write this now is because my date for today cancelled. And I'm still so. Fucking. Horny. So one thing is clear: if my dick got its way, I would get nothing done at work, would get nothing done on my own projects, and would live in a constant daze of dating girl after girl. While my life falls apart. And I'm not even sure I would care. Okay of course I care, but there's something about getting laid that really takes away a lot of motivation for other things. Like your lizard brain is saying: "keep doing what you're doing, bro! Don't change a thing!" I need to become the master of my own dick. It occurred to me that dating women has simply replaced watching TV series as a pleasurable distraction that I can lose myself in endlessly to get away from my responsibilities and grown up plans and life purpose. I found a new addiction. Okay and I think it's a lot better than being a TV addict. But it's still addiction. I value the richness and color it brings to my life. But it doesn't bring me much else. On the contrary, It takes away motivation to change It costs me a lot of time It costs me a lot of focus (addicted to phone) It costs me a lot of sleep It makes me feel so good that I don't even care if I would smoke or drink. So, in conclusion, It feels like a good idea to spend a lot of time being a manwhore, but my feelings are wrong. More things are falling apart. I did go to the gym 3 times this weekend, but halfheartedly and I skipped a lot of exercises. I am trying out high intensity training as a timesaver, but I freakin' hate it. Probably won't keep that. Haven't done two days with morning routine in a row in a while. This is quite terrible. I would feel bad and guilty about it but my brain is being hijacked by evolution. I'll drag myself out of this hedonistic stupor guys. Gimme a sec.

Gonna journal this whilst it's fresh af in my experience. Currently sat in Costa in the Trafford centre walking around in what feels like a massive infinite boundless bubble.... Okay so just finished the coaoa and shamanic drumming workshop/ceremony. It was a beautiful journey from beginning to end. In the beginning we had to go round the circle and say your name and explain why you came to this event. My answer was. "I have no idea why I'm here but maybe I'll find out." After opening the space with drumming and chakra mantra meditation we all went up to receive our ceremonial grade cocoa deva. We lay down as comfortable as poss and people started their inner journey. I was lay there thinking... The fuck is going on? fuck all is happening, this is shit. I lay there observing my thoughts about other people's journeys and what was going on with them in that moment. Then it hit me. The reason I was here was to just be. Just be still. Be quite. This time it wasn't about an inward journey, this time it was about realising there is no fucking inward journey (fundamentally) and to just be! Game changing insight.... absolute game changer. Experience and experiencer ceased to exist. I lay there in complete bliss for god knows how long. After it finished we all sat up and it felt like I loved everyone. I was connected to everybody. Everyone was me and I was everybody. The more I go to these workshops the more truth prevails. Showing my deepest gratitude for such a beautiful day ❤️

@CreamCat You can have pathologies at each stage. That is why shadow work is important. Although you have a center of gravity at a stage and are centered at 50% of that stage 25% below and 25% above. This is also how you will respond to other humans. The whole spiral is always accessed. Even if you transcend into a higher realm of the psychic, subtle, casual or non-dual stages (Third tier). One has to move down in order to function as long as a body exists. You can have state stages! Which are different from structure stages. For instance, the Vietnamese monks who burned themselves achieve a state stage where they feel absolute bliss. These are called absorptions as far as I know Jhanas. And therefore "transcend" the human body, they still die. This whole thing is still a mystery to me. So, they can both be a living concrete... experience as well as a glimpse into the nature of a state, the so-called state stages. Structures according to Wilber can't be observed since they are like grammar, inherently visceral in one's flesh and bones. Yet, I am going to create a concept one lays out these language patterns or aspects... and then has the ability to observe them. Like using had involved past perfect and now we know that past perfect which is the "completed" past involves these words, rules, structure, grammar, "syntax". States are experiences one can dive into, yet structures are .. like a state of mind that is unconscious, till the second tier is accessed and the periphery of what one usually experiences is being expanded since the whole spiral is first visible at second tier which is yellow. There needs to be a drawn out map or structure in order to relate that there is a structure or to better understand it, that is my point. Looking at the quadrants could help you to understand the theory better. For instance, I could say that the tourquise level of the upper right quadrant which focuses on exterior development of the I, body parts, brain, stomach, guts etc. Is the hypothalamus. Wilber differentiated all of this to draw conclusions and to present a holarchy. A mixture of heterarchy and hierarchy. Spiral dynamics is still focused on values. Shadow work also never ends as long as biology exists according to Wilber. Some drives are inherently biological and sometimes people are unaware of that.

So yesterday I woke up next to one girl, had sex with her, and that night slept with the other girl. I am on peak orgasm again, so this is making me feel quite empty. I'm painfully aware now that sex is not as big a deal as I thought it was. And how my unsatisfied cravings have festered and made it seem so all-important and worth striving for. I'm reading my vision statement, and half of it is about striving for abundance in sexual options, becoming better at picking up girls, living in a sex-positive commune even. All good things, but written from the perspective that having sex is a good way to spend almost all my time. It's a classic case of the excessive fantasies that arise from a craving before it is satisfied. Hungry, at a buffet: I'm going to eat SO MUCH of EVERY kind of this food! A little later: nope, full. Horny, watching porn: This is so good, I'm going to fap 4 times to this! One fap later: nah, that's enough of that. Poor as a student: I want to strive all my life to be FILTHY RICH!! Me, until a few days ago: Sex is so awesome that I want to dedicate a huge chunk of time to meeting and fucking as many girls as I can! Two fucks later: hmm, cravings are gone, what else could I be doing? These are my expectations: After the initial excitement, I will feel exactly the same when there's 10 girls in my rotation instead of 2. After the initial excitement, I will feel exactly the same when theres a million in my bank account instead of a thousand. After the initial excitement, I will feel exactly the same when all my time is free time instead of only 70% of it. I'm a pretty happy guy these days, and there is no 'extra' permanent happiness to be gained from achievements. I don't want to become a pleasure rat, just putting his dick in and out warm holes because it's his only source of bliss. Money and sex seem to be worth striving for having enough that the lack of it doesn't distract you from your purpose, and once you have that, it becomes an empty pursuit and it's best not to chase it further. I'm thinking about bankers working themselves to death. About CEO's of huge enterprises that they built themselves, who continue to expand it even though they would be better served spending less time on it and more on being with their family, or spirituality / just being. At some point people apparently forget that their pursuit started to fulfill a need, and now that the original need is gone they confuse their pursuit with meaning. Get a bit of wealth? Great! Hmm, but now I feel the same. Get MORE wealth, that'll do it for me! Then I can feel like I am spending my time well, and basically only then can I have permission to feel good for eternity. Studies have shown that regular cocaine users get their dopamine rush right before they snort it. In other words, the pleasure is in the anticipation, it's not even because of the drug anymore. Just like lifelong gamblers are addicted to anticipation. It feels good the first couple times, and then you get addicted to the anticipation of how good you think you will feel. Which doesn't pan out. I expect you can addict yourself to making money like that. Oh and I also noticed that fucking a hot girl is nowhere near as good as the anticipation of it. There are blissful moments, sure, but if I'm honest, I can feel just as good masturbating and fantasizing. So how frequently do I want to have sex for it to be enough? No idea. Probably best to just get good at pickup, so I can go meet a woman whenever I feel that it's time. And then I don't have to worry about it anymore. The lack of pickup skills won't distract me anymore. That's valuable, I think. I feel a desire to spend more time on concentration exercises and meditation.

It is what is when you inquire look deeply into who you are. I could call it pure being, being-consciousness-bliss, that which is beyond all dualities. There are many words for it, but all of them are ultimately inaccurate. What exactly do you mean by that question? There are many things I could say in response: it's a koan, which, if you reflect on it, will lead you to enlightenment; it's meaningless, because all language is meaningless; it means there is knowledge here for those who seek it; that this mind no longer considers itself to be a separate entity; that I don't exist; that all of us are enlightened and therefore so am I. All of them and none of them are true.

You are on the good path. Maybe you feel those parts of the body that you have not used before. So lower back pain or general tightness, not knowing what to do, etc. Maybe is time to let go, relax, meditate until bliss arises. Doctors are not trained beyond reductionism. So in other words this is how the unknown feels, depression, desperation. Use good foods to heal faster. If you really brave to awaken, you have to conquer the nightmare, and the nightmare is very big, is interconnected with all humanity's subconscious. Those feelings usually, the majority are not yours. GG