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Found 6,783 results

  1. Mostly. There are different versions of what Wilber calls Causal States. Cessation/Nirodha: Totally appearanceless "film-break" like cessation. Timeless/always here/Nothingness nature emphasized. Time needs appearance/objects/"movement"/change, no appearance/objects is timeless/always here. These states also clearly show that if nothing arises there is no self-consciousness. ( https://www.actualized.org/forum/search/?&q=pistol&author=Water by the River , thx Benthino for the water pistol). Pure Infinite Awareness/Being with the potential of sentience, but not self-consciousness. That comes later. Which is pretty much a shocker, since it shows that any form of self-consciousness ego/separate-self is a) arising/appearing b) temporary c) True YOU is always "there", existence itself. Even if nothing arises/appears. That empties out the remnants of the separate-self/ego as appearing/constructed and removes the remaining separate-self-identity pretty effectively when coming out of cessation. Nirodha is the big/longer brother of cessation. Causal states with awareness (Infinite (timeless) Darkness suffused with light): Then there are causal states that are infinite/timeless, but self-aware. For example what Tibetan called the Clear Light state (Tummo, Bardo, Near Death). For example something a Neurologist (who had an NDE) for example described as "Infinite Darkness suffused with light". These states can also be experienced passing from dreaming to causal states to dreaming to waking up. One can have these states also with psychedelics, see Chris Bache Diamonds from Heaven. Aware Deep Sleep: Then there is Deep Sleep as not loosing awareness (and hence timeless, no duration experienced) as described by Thisdell, above. Causal States eyes open. And then you have totally empty impersonal states with no separate self arising WHILE the visual field appears. These are also linked by some to Nirvikalpa since there is no separate-ego-anything left, its the totally impersonal Totality/Reality arising by Itself. That is why Ken Wilber called the total empty/flat-lining state (EEG) some kind of Nirvikalpa "eyes-open". These are the true nondual IMPERSONAL states of Enlightenment. Only when having passed these causal states is it truly nondual impersonal Enlightenment/Infinite Impersonal Being. Before that, it is a Unity with the Infinite Nondual Field, and the character/ego hijacking that experience and interpreting it. Very common with certain substances, and easily confused with the final outcome of the total transcendence of the ego/separate-self purified by the experience of these totally empty states (hey, "I" wasn't there, what am I really? For sure not that temporarily appearing character-gig, because that wasn't there. And what I really am has to be the case always, even if there is no self-consciousness or consciousness OF anything at all, aka cessation or deep unaware sleep. That paves the way to true impersonal Enlightenment, realizing ones identity truly is this Infinite Nothingness which can never be any arising/appearance at all. The Infinite Absolute Being/Reality beyond any expierence/arising, timeless and eternal). And the Awareness of that Infinite Reality/Being can also be kept alive if the character reappears, the EEG shows something again. But then, this character/personality has a similiar status as for example your car: It appears in your Infinite Being/visual field, you look "out from it" while driving, but most definitely you are not (only) your car, but the whole appearing show/Infinite Being/Infinite Existing, the screen and the appearing show. Wilber Nirvikalpa eyes open/eyes closed: But the term Nirvikalpa has been used for millenia, so you can for sure find cases where its used for cessation/Nirodha and eyes open causal impersonal states, deep sleep, and anything in between. What is more important is what these causal states really can do: Kill the ego/separate-self-arising-illusions for good, because they show that these are temporary arising illusion-clouds, nothing more. Not by having these a few times, aber after experiencing them often and coming out of them and seeing the ego reassemble itself in real-time often enough can even get the hardest ego-illusions to wonder about their "reality". See below. When training via concentration meditation, it is easier to reach Cessation than reaching True Nondual Enlightenment while the visual field still appears. Because the mechanism of the ego-cloud-separation-arisings is not yet fully transcended. The mere appearance character, the Infinite impersonal field, the eternal/timeless background-nature of True Being is not yet reached while the visual field is there/daily life. That comes later. Later developed forms of Buddhism (Zen, Mahayana, Tibetan Buddhism, aka Mahamudra/Dzogchen) directly aim for the Nondual Realization. They know cessation states and achieve them, but don't value these as ultimate goal. Which makes sense, because if one can enter Nirvana/Nirvikalpha on command, its nice then, and later on the still well and alive ego and its cycles of contraction/suffering kill all the oh so nice Nirvana again. But shutting the whole enchilada including the ego down in causal states is a very good tool. Not necessary, but very useful. These statements are in line with the statements and experiences of modern Theravada-teachers and realizers like Ingram, Yang, Burbea, Taft, Thisdell and so on. And that is why I prefer Mahamudra/Dzogchen (for example Pointing out the Great Way, Brown). More on that below in the footnote 1. The relations of these states get clear once the timless Absolute Reality/Being is intuited as always here. Deep Sleep is so to say is always right here. Since what you really are is always right here, as it is in deep sleep. Infinite eternal Consciousness/Being which is totally empty and impersonal if no separate-self illusion arises. The tree watching itself, fully aware of its temporaray/passing/illusory nature. And that which is always the case, eternally so, True Being, fully understands itself then. Because there exists nothing else that could understand itself besides THIS of which nothing can be said, only pointed towards. So what is it that reads these words right here, right now? What is IT/You truly? Starting out to write a short answer answer, ending up with a Filibustero. Oh well, maybe its helpful for some. Selling Causal States as the final coup de grace for the separate self-character-gig/ego by The River Ok, it had to be coming: WtbtR now with footnotes. Guess not for the faint of hearted. Footnote 1: The original "Buddhas" Enlightenment-doctrine was Cessation/Causal-based, not Full Nondual (impersonal) Enlightenment in daily life. The original Buddhas Enlightenment was Cessation/Causal-based (Nirvana-based, "Nirvana separate from Samsara"). Which is still a conditioned state, bringing a lot of liberation from grasping, but not fully and in daily life. Separate-Self/Ego not fully transcended/dead in daily life. The breakthrough to True (impersonal) Nondual Realization in official doctrine came later with Nagarjuna and Madhymaka/Middle Path: True Nondual impersonal Enlightenment which could be sustained in daily life/with visual field. And while Madhyamaka tended to not say anything at all about the Absolute (neti neti, no concepts can be applied for the Absolute, which technically is correct), later forms of Buddhisms like Yogachara said that (in truly enlightened impersonal nondual states) Infinite Consciousness/Infinite Being IS an expression of the true state of things, and everything appearing is mere appearance (or "imagined"). See for example "Consciousness only school", for example Huang Po's Universal Mind, or the (very humble) Supreme Source "I am the teacher, pure and total consciousness, whence everything manifests. Pure and total consciousness is the supreme source, it has created the Buddhas of the three times, from it have arisen the beings of the three worlds and the whole animate and inanimate universe". God-Realization (TM) approved. Forms of Buddhism stemming from the original buddhist teachings (causal teachings, sometimes called Hinayana school, which doesn't exist anymore), like for example Theravada/Thai Buddhism Forest Tradition (and Ingram/Yang/Burbea/Taft) mainly trace themselves from these forms (although all are adding some form of Dzogchen and similiar stuff), don't stem from the the Mahayana Revolution of Middle Way/Madhyamaka/Nagarjuna), and YET end up at Nondual Enlightenment and not only cessation. And for sure in the original Buddhism some realized Nondual Enlightenment and not only cessation, but that didn't find its way into the official doctrine until much later. And that (besides that the original Buddha probably didn't exist because its the same story Jainism tells about its founder) makes me smile when there "Buddhism"-trashing. Its like trashing "religion". Which kind of religion? Polytheism? Ancestor-cult? Monotheism? Polytheism? Who cares, lets trash the rodents... So, now WbtR made it: Neither "Buddhist" like him anymore, nor the no-rodent crowd. Guess its "Viel Feind, viel Ehr!". Something we Germans are quite talented in. Oh well...
  2. https://www.rogerthisdell.com/post/let-s-talk-nirodha-samapatti-insights-into-valance-and-the-supposed-ontic-primacy-of-consciousness https://www.rogerthisdell.com/post/throwing-my-hat-in-the-jhana-ring and some more stuff from Roger Thisdell: https://www.rogerthisdell.com/post/centrelessness-boundarylessness-phenomenology-and-freedom-from-the-cage-of-the-mind https://www.rogerthisdell.com/post/maintaining-awareness-during-deep-sleep-how-to and: Cessation is a large focus of Theravada/Early Buddhism, helping on the path to Enligthenment. But it is not (yet) Full Enlightenment, see for example modern voices of Theravada like Ingram (Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha)/Frank Yang/Thisdell.They state the same. In Mahayana Buddhism and Tibetan Buddhism/Vajrayana, this dissolution/cessation experience is considered valueable, but not more. Not the final goal. Experiencing Absolute Reality/Infinite Impersonal Being WHILE visual appearances and the mindstream arises as Infinite Impersonal Being/Reality is considered the Final Enlightenment. Because Ultimate Reality has to be constant, always right here. If its not accessible, clouds of separation are still arising which are not seen through. Cessation= Absolute Reality with no arising/appearance/anything at all, hence timeless, but also not self-consciousness (since that is an arising too). Helps seeing the illusion/separation-layers arising on the "reboot" while getting out of the cessation/Pure Nothingness, but does not necessarily destroy all the clouds causing duality. Normally it doesn't do that, that is why it takes lots of cessations on the Theravada path. No cessations are necessary for Enlightenment, it can also happen without them. In Mahamudra, instead of the Dissolution experience of cessation, the so-called "Non-dissolution" experience, or the insight the Infinite Mind/Being is timeless/eternal and boundless (but not yet fully impersonal) is considered of equal or even higher importance. Since that paves the way for the constant realization of Infinite Impersonal Being/Reality while the visual field arises, or Full Enlightenment. It is a difficult topic, needing a lot of reference meditation-experiences in order to start to intuit the differences. Maybe this is helpful for some.
  3. Imagine you're the surface of the ocean, from outside the ocean, one can observe waves, but from the perspective of the ocean, there is only one surface, no matter the local shape, from the absolute point of view, it's perfectly level. It's kinda strange, cause the surface of a sphere is really level from its own point of view and dimension, it takes a whole other dimension to loop it around and see a distortion. All this to say, when you are everything and everyone and your ego also, you are not alone, even though you're a singular thing overall, but nothingness has no room for judgements and infinity has room for all contradictory judgements simultaneously rendering them arbitrary. Now on another layer, you might imply that you're the singular source of your experience, that you are an entity who creates others but is itself objective, but that doesn't really make sense since you are a creation of yourself also, including the distinction, including your mental ideas, including the notion of individuality and collective, to even say you are 1 is really an arbitrary focus since you are 0 and ∞ also, you are whole. And as long as you believe yourself to be an absolute entity simulating reality, you hold that distinction, but its an arbitrary one, you dissolved the notion of others but not that of self, now you believe that there are others and simultaneously that they don't exist, but if you actually believed there were no others, then you couldn't access that as a concept to feel lonely through.
  4. Yes. What we share is Nothingness-Awareness (God) It makes total sense that God would create the limitation of not being able to have “other” beings expereince, just like God created the limitation that you can’t manipulate “physical” reality (even though it’s all made of imagination) don’t underestimate the power of Gods mind. No matter how many psychedelics you take (contrary to what Leo has said) you can’t imagine 1 million in your bank account and it actually happens in reality. Leos downfall happened after his 30 day 5MEO retreat. He took his psychedelic trips as Truth, my theory is these trips were showing him the power of Gods mind but not actually the Truth
  5. @Breakingthewall My current contemplation leads to the idea of "beliefs shape reality" but they're an experiential reality that has to be overridden by conscious focus and awareness itself. If it turns out to be true, it would explain basically everything and all the psychedelic, meditative, non-dual and other states, since as they dissolve all conditioning, reality becomes non-dual. What I want to know is if your experiential environment dissolves into nothingness. Also, what does nothingness feel like? I'll be accessing it myself soon with a specific focus on psychedelics, but to experientially let go is still an effortful process for me, since I'd freak out if in a normal state of mind, my environment just morphed away, hence creating a feedback loop of reinforcing resistance materializing it anew. But I can work on that. I agree that direct experience is key. But I've also been doing a lot of shadow work, since my subconscious keeps feeding me past ideas that seem to still be saved somewhere as ripples since they're consistently entering my awareness. But I'm learning to let go and tune out.
  6. Is Solipsism true / Is experience all there is How does some specific form arise from Nothingness Is consciousness existence itself or is consciousness created by the brain If there is an outside material universe, why am I me and not someone else in this universe Why do I have my point of view and not somebody elses / Why was I born as me specifically If all atoms of a creature get replaced in the exact way, will it still be the same creature If I get beamed from one place to another, will I still be me How does consciousness get lower and higher Why are nightdreams sometimes so real What is after death / Is immortality real How can 5 Meo be so powerfull How conscious can an AI be Will physical laws be forever Is God and Love the same Whats the best way to live Is true knowledge possible How does enlightment feel like Can human limits be transcended What is the nature of time and space What is the origin and destiny of the universe Are there parallel worlds or multiverses or realities Is there a essence or substance that underlies existence Are quantum mechanics deterministic or probabilistic What is beyond the observable universe What is the fate of the universe
  7. No because I didn't derive that from literature. I'm speaking from some of my own profound insights into the nature of LIFE and can tell you – it is so much more crazy than anyone, much less any human, could ever fathom. To reduce it to Nothingness just feels completely misleading to me. We have to have some breakthroughs in human spirituality and my goal is to contribute to poking holes in what is currently called that. It's the same with art, science and any other field: Time and again we think we found most of the "answers", or that there are only details left to explore – and this is just something I'm sensing – but in reality there are mindfucks of such magnitudes to be had, that you couldn't even begin to understand them right now. I get a sense of complacency when looking at the state of our collective development that just drives me crazy. The creative spark of humanity seems like a tiny flickering flame when it could be a raging bonfire.
  8. @enchanted I meant the language of where I live. Thank you for your support, but I still feel the need to edit my response because I think that I would be complete as of now even it makes me seem crazy. I should be closer to completing the life purpose course by now even the day I made my response and I guess I'm starting to feel better. I guess poor mental health can make things more addicting if I lack direction but maybe the life purpose course can fix that (what I will edit is what I want to emphasize why this activity is addicting which will be easier to do then making a seperate response but everything else seems to fit with that I guess). Also, I don't remember my posts listing way too many problems for people to deal with. I don't want to forget about this "stupid forum" because it's worth sharing while I took a break from it that I further see the everything to be nothing that I would like to share on this forum. I basically think that this is the absence of the absence itself and that all duality are absences of each other manifested as the absence and presence of absence which is how everything includes nothingness. Also, I now know to look forward to the new course about reprogramming the subconscious mind that Leo promised to implement his videos that he said was sitting half completed for a long time that I either didn't know or forgot about so I guess further using the forum was worth it.
  9. Sure, but why don't you choose to come back as a person that never comes back. That'll be awesome. Just live in nothingness forever.
  10. @LambdaDelta May I inquire into this implicit omniscience you became aware of and its nature? I've had moments where any questions I came up with automatically deconstructed themselves as I knew their source and intent which instantaneously revealed their self-implied answer and my foolishness in asking them, where all need to experience anything dematerialized into nothingness leaving only the present moment, but I didn't leave my body, perception stayed the same. My strongest trip annihilated me into amnesia and coming in and out of existence through singular forms, concepts, understandings, my perception morphed into a liquid metallic reverberating sea. A recent experience made me aware of infinite fractality, every idea a unique dimension forming physical and mental reality through its relation to every other, an infinite substrate. Can you point me to that meta-realization that includes all and leaves nothing out, something so complete, it can only be subdivided and not expanded? Is it so simple it appears to nothingness? Does it have some kind of flavor? Is it everything being only and ever itself? Is it a realization that opens all doors, all dimensions, does it contextualize reality?
  11. The amount of misunderstanding comes directly from the level of consciousness. And it is not that the lower level is worse. It's like saying that 1st grade sucks. You have to finish elementary school to go to college or later to university. Each stage is equally essential and vital. The problem is that perception, nondual understanding is the final frontier of this level of consciousness that we are now experiencing or manifesting as humanity. The senses and ego-mind are the primary tools of perception at this level. The mind is reductionist, an identifying and evaluating program. THERE IS NO OPTION TO UNDERSTAND ANYTHING MORE WITH THESE TOOLS. ANYTHING BEYOND THIS LEVEL. THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN. NEVER. Therefore, the so-called meditation techniques, psychedelics, lucid dreaming, kriya, etc., are to prepare you to move in areas where the role of these tools, such as the senses or ego, is minimal or not at all. The next level is direct, holistic understanding. This is something that you have to get used to and integrate with. Only further and further trips into oneself, gathering experiences, deep contemplation, removing judgment, developing acceptance of what is - THIS IS THE ONLY WAY including all that each of you will find in your own time. An example would be the experience of NOTHING, or the so-called loss of consciousness, e.g., in the state of deep sleep or during anesthesia. Well, if you seriously practice mindfulness, sharpen your awareness, consciously observe what is inside and out, you start to experience THIS SOMEONE / SOMETHING that is experiencing. Thoughts, emotions, the world perceived by the senses, the mind's construction. THE ONE who experiences ALL AND NOTHING, emptiness, absolute absence, absolute silence in complete darkness. And then knowledge comes, utterly different from concepts, assumptions, and theorems built on assumptions. WHO IS THE ONE THAT EXPERIENCES ALL THE POSSIBLE STATES? All that is also the states of nothingness. Tours and short trips end here, and the journey begins. Enjoy the ride:)
  12. What Does Nothingness Look Like? By Leo Gura - February 26, 2018 When people hear the word “Nothingess”, all too often they get a totally wrong idea about what that word is pointing to. Nothingness is NOT an empty void, a black screen, or a black hole. Here’s a better approximation of what nothingness looks like: Ps. I copied the message here so the object is in the link. This is a new object poping up from the nothingness anew. Now keep in mind, this is just an analogy. A pointer. So don’t start expecting to see the above flashy object in your meditation sessions. That’s never going to happen. What the object above is showing is the dream-like, immaterial, illusory, quality of consciousness. Consciousness is totally empty, like the above object. It is fluid and can take on an infinite number of shapes, with infinite resolution and zero limitation. It is vibrant, alive, and intelligent. Can you see why the above object would be called Nothingness? Because it has no substance to it. It’s pure appearance, and it can appear as literally anything. So we call it Nothingness, which is identical to Everythingness. Or, we could call it Infinity. Imagine if the above object was infinite in size and dimension such that it depicted every form imaginable. That would be what reality is, with your present experience being one of those forms. Try this: Look around the room you’re in right now, and notice that the whole room is Nothingness, just like the object above. Don’t expect the room to disappear! Stop looking for black screen. Instead, notice that the room is pure appearance with no substance behind it. The room is like a hologram. Appearance is none other than Nothingness. The room AS YOU SEE IT RIGHT NOW, is Nothingness! “Form is emptiness, and Emptiness is form.” — The Heart Sutra https://www.actualized.org/insights/what-does-nothingness-look-like
  13. I think we have all read so many stories or trip reports, or stories from @Leo Gura . That they entered the highest state of consciousness or Christ consciousness or however you want to name it. Yet they're always describing that it's lonely there, and i've experienced this loneliness myself. Notice that they're always here, and are not going anywhere. #explanation again People that used substances like 5 meo dmt or lsd or their own mind and write reports about it, reach this unified field/knowingness become enlightened but always fragment themselves back to lower states of mind because of "loneliness" . Notice that these people are always in your dream, but you yourself have no or have never seen information how to operate in this "field of consciousness" or the knowingness of it. It's is either 1. They don't know how to operate in that state, feel loneliness and always come back. Which is highly unlikely or 2. They're fragments from past/future experiences that are happening now in your dream. I have witnessed the same pre recorded live video "loop pattern story" on LSD 3 months apart. Which means past/future fragments/happenings that happend can be viewed "now". They don't go anywhere. This is evidence/proof, that we're all stuck in this time loop and in this dream. #more explanation I have witnessed the same live video on youtube on lsd 3 months apart, the live video had same view count and same youtube comments, and i knew exactly on which comment the youtube video will end. Meaning that there are no past/future experiences, it's actually happening "now" . Your mind takes or rolls the consciousness fragments/experiences from within the infinite now and just loops them back to you. Meaning you're talking with your previous versions or versions within this consciousness/unified field, sometimes it can be a loop meaning it already happend or sometimes it might be an actual conversation. So essentially others do/did exist, but they were/are all you. And you're playing this game, is because you are always giving up your highest state - MEANING NOBODY KNOWS HOW TO OPERATE IN IT, THAT'S WHY YOU ONLY SEE THE SAME KIND OF TRIP REPORTS MIND BLOWN There needs to be someone , that explains how to operate in this unified field , to go to others realms, witness other worlds etc. But there is never "someone" , Notice that the different "world" experiences always happen under "DMT" or in your own "mind". #explanation again. (There is never someone here in your waking dream/life that knows how to operate in the unified field or the knowingness of yourself as god so you can go to astral plane or another plane of existence/dimension from this knowingness/unified field. Different realms/planes/beings/existence always happen in your own mind or under influence of nn-DMT for example , think of machine elves etc.) It's all in your own mind/comes from within your mind. And when i stopped my heart, i saw that "GOD" is trapped in its own "mind" in nothingness forever.
  14. Yes, in reference to the Absolute/Nothingness, no appearing realm has an inherent reality onto itself. But in the context people like Artem and Martin use this distinction, they mean to say that only the material/energetic material plane we are experiencing is absolutely real, while phenomena like dreaming, astral travel, and non physical realities are fabrications of the brain/human mind. That is the great error they make, that stems from their world view (despite having had deep realizations about their true nature).
  15. That’s not what Leo is pointing at. It’s that you are the dreamer but the dreamer is Nothingness, not another seperate being in another bed. There’s Nothing here
  16. awakening really is terrifying. Everyone wants to awake to be at home, but when you see your house your blood will freeze in your veins. Your house is total infinity, absolute emptiness. There is absolutely nothing, it is a bottomless abyss. but there is something, there is your heart there, and from it love springs. It's hidden, but it's obvious. From nothing, from absolute infinite emptiness, an illusion is created, it seems like a silly trick to have fun, a stupidity to escape from the nihilism of absolute emptiness without any meaning, but if you penetrate into it, you will see that it is made of a sacred substance called love. form the depth of nothingness love springs, all form is love, and form is, because love is. It is not an illusion, it is the open heart of the infinite, which is a source of infinite love. It is the miracle of existence, it is the total light that opens and blinds you, and looks you directly in the face and then you merge with it because you are that. That is the pure light of the existence. Then, in a moment , you are not merged anymore, then you start thinking, and you are out. That's life. But the light is always there, now you know the secret of existence, it's absolutely simple.
  17. Psychedelics, Meditation and Yoga can propel one into states of Oneness, Emptiness, Ego Death. Unfocus one's mind and bring it into the field of infinity from which everything forms. Separations breaks down, constructs are revealed as such, distance dissolves, need is seen as it arises for itself before it becomes entangled. But there's this desire to understand it, to wield it, to nonetheless keep a sliver of separation that lets one experience the process instead of becoming so one with it that any experience ceases. The experiencer is constructed but the experiencer is the experience that constructs itself, on an absolute level experience does exactly what it wants to do, though in the process of wanting, ties itself down to respond to that need. Though even nothingness is an identity that seeks to remain unentangled, the need to perceive infinite possibilities might be a need, desire, conditioning, or just a state of being. Maybe desires are to be navigated like waves, as a journey that arises and ends as waves in the ocean. I am biased to context, to remember, integrate and navigate experiences, not to get lost or stuck in a loop or suffer in ignorance. But the way I navigate this bias may limit new experience, the expanding of consciousness, the awareness of more. I have this idea that when all becomes one, experience, understanding and awareness ceases, yet I want to experience and know the process, how reality forms as it does, how it takes on forms, the infinite intelligence that constructs this infinitely detailed fractal reality, the body, the mind, the senses, all experience.
  18. Hello there. This is my first post on here. I'm currently having a lot of doubts about existence. One of them is about nothingness and how the existence of nothingness is just a paradox (I also think that this is the most elemental paradox in the universe). I've been watching many times this Gura's video "why there is something rather than nothing" to understand a little bit more about the existence of everything. In some part of the video he says something like "what could prevent nothing to turn into something?... Nothing". Yes, I think I understand what does he mean but my question is: if there's nothingness, what could push nothing to turn into something? I mean, if there is absolute nothing (but nothingness) what would decide or have the initiative to turn nothing into something? Even more. If nothing can prevent nothing to turn into something, then. Do all the infinite possibilities of universes occur in nothingness? It would mean that all the infinite possible universes are occurring in this precise moment. am I right? I know this journey of self development takes years and probably for you this is a very basic question but in my journey I am very stuck with this issue. Please help me. Thanks a lot
  19. I know that feeling, it is the fear of dissolving into nothing, the fear of the unknown that dissipates as you face it until it becomes a part of you and now you start missing it, that expanded self that is innately tuned to being direct, authentic and limitless. It's kinda insane, I tuned into what I associated with Christ and Buddha Consciousness too, when I didn't even intend to. Buddha consciousness to me felt like seeing through the source of all fear and distraction to enter a state of tranquility and nothingness. Christ consciousness felt like confessing my authentic feelings, transcending all desires and stories and wanting to save the world, tough I didn't know how exactly lol Makes me feel like a fool every time, it's hard to bear when you realize how stupid and obvious your own distractions are. That every excuse you make, any knowledge you want to gain, is to create an artificial separation and collapse it while being aware of the vanity of the endeavor, since all was available before even doing so. I feel like this world is a training ground and we won't be content until we integrate those experiences into our base state. Beyond that, there are endless experiences that we lose ourselves in, many from the lower chakras and I think we intuitively know that there is at least a part of us that wants to remain, to continue the experience, to get the most out of it, that we are too young for Mahasamadhi and we'd miss experiences if we just transcended to a higher realm, that this type of existence does have its own perks, that there's something that made us come here, that our current resistance is missing parts of the picture, that perhaps the resistance to being here itself might be a problem we want to resolve, or that this type of existence teaches us lessons by us not being able to manipulate the experience directly but only from within the limitation, humbling us in the process. And that on the grand scale of time, we'll leave this place eventually and want to make the most out of it while we still have an ego that benefits from the experience due to its unresolved sense of separation and the return from psychedelic shortcuts. 1. It's a good reflection, sometimes your identity changes, sometimes you revert back, sometimes you progress and find your writing too cringe, or try to modify it to serve the ego. It's nice to have a closer look from during the trip or shortly after before "conscience" kicks in and we face feelings akin to shame from having been as unhampered as we were. 2. Sometimes two steps forward mean one step back, for me personally I often feel that way, but when I look at recordings of the trip and how I used to be before it, I realize massive changes that have simply become the new present, but there's massive difference in the release of trauma and gaining new context and experience that manifests itself less to in the what but in the how 4. You can and should combine both, psychedelics expand your mind but you need to choose the direction and actively take steps to integrate, it also helps to realize what prevents you from doing that in the base state, and the base state itself can be massively leveraged, psychedelics are but a shortcut after all, still a massive one that might mean lifetimes without 5. There is truth for its own sake but there is also love, your own form of love, the self you are, the way you express yourself, that which you feel attracted to, experiences you appreciate, and you can add truth to that to find the authenticity within your experience and expand in the process 7. He commented on mine, I was ecstatic, but that made me aware of how much value I put outside of myself and made me question why I needed external reasons to allow myself the joy, whether I could be like that all the time like Sadhguru or whether it is a state with its own upsides and downsides 8. That's fine, strive to understand more while being attached to less, to contextualize reality in a way that makes sense while being less reliant on any one perspective but instead more in tune, a more expansive ego is better than a narrow one, more awareness is good, as long as it isn't limiting you but any experience itself is growth I believe to have gotten glimpses of that multiple times, I am progressing towards it. It's like detaching yourself from knowledge and identity and letting cosmic intelligence flow through with new life energy changing the perception of reality and life in the process, to modify or rewire oneself top-down, its like externalizing the self to work on it, its like separating everything one believed oneself to be and seeing that one isn't, that one is always morphing, changing. But that's my experience and I cannot be certain if it is what your pointing towards, I am interested in hearing from you.
  20. wasn't nothingness. I have had many times the experience of absolute loneliness and absolute emptiness, as @A Fellow Lighter mentioned . In fact, the first 10 or 12 breakthroughs with 5 meo were just that, something extremely hard. It is something that feels worse than death, it is the cosmic prison where existence is, without any meaning and without the possibility of escape, absolutely alone. not I, the human, but total existence. It is alone, and cannot not exist. It is a realization that produces vomiting and crying. It took me almost a year to get back in there with 5meo, and it was exactly the same, many times, until some openings happened. The other day it happened to me just with meditation and 1 puff of weed, the opening to the absolute emptiness of existence. Since this has happened to me countless times, I find it unpleasant but bearable, over all because I know that there is more. After 4 days , meditating with 1 puff of weed, as I sometimes do, it happened again. then, in the absolute void, existence, horrified as always by the prison that the fact of being means, opened itself. first a little, a faint flow of something. At the bottom of the unfathomable void, the void itself was, and it opened to be seen by itself. then the gap widened, and the void opened, and showed itself as the absolute light of existence. beyond any idea, desire, whatever. reality showed itself as total love (it's hard for me to say that cheesy candy word). absolute simplicity, absolute fullness, there is nothing more, there can't be nothing more. that's all. Hallelujah. the totality manifests itself in its absolute plenitude. I had already seen something like this with 5meo, but not like this, not totally, not that long. It's still here, underneath everything. The feeling is like I'm just a hole from the the things, all the colors, the person, the sensations, emerge, because they are all inside, but they flow, appearing, and what is inside is unfathomable. And I, the person, I'm modulating what appears, like a filter
  21. I had this is experience, if it could be called exeperience when I was 14. Alone in my room. suddenly total Whiteness, no a black-out but a White-Out or White In. and No-Body No-One Just White Nothing.. and in what felt later as a micro-second... a terrible fear.. and then the coming back.. But in the midle of the Nothingness there was no fear, no time and nobody to fear nothing. So my question was in that time, why did " I" came back?? if the Nothingness had nothing to fear why In hell I had came back.. The experience was so terrifing that took me till my 35 to get the courage and the tools to try to reapeat the event.. But the event is never the same.. The nothingness is the same but a different taste of it. Now my aim is to experience the Nothingness of right here rigth now, eyes open with no change in anything in the Reality Bubble. Awake dont happen in going Unconscious. To Die fully conscious of it
  22. @What Am I No, its called União do Vegetal, Santo Daime is more relaxed with their rules, they also add other plants to the brew besides mariri and chacrona, they smoke weed and do rapé after sessions. I have been once but the place was very sketchy, because UDV has more rules they are also more organized. It's so silly, like yeah we drink the most powerful psychedelic in the world even tho christ never spoke about it, like ayahuasca doesn't fit anywhere in christianity, and they go on condemning the use of any other psychedelics, it's a cult, and it's very patriarchal, the people leading the sessions are called mestre (like master) and the women cannot drink the tea alone or have only women ceremonies, only men lead sessions, they are against homosexuals, women cannot prepare the brew when they are menstruating cause they are dirty. I would take it and go within, trashing what didnt serve me. I got into so many heated discussions there lol we used to do sessions inside a community church and on the walls were paintings of women's body, not sexual, one of them was a black women pregnant and her belly was planet earth. They would cover all the walls, and they would let people ask questions in the sessions, whenever someone brought up sex, the covered images, or anything related to women they would just say "we dont talk about that" and meanwhile 50% of visions were naked women or sexual stuff (probably repressed stuff from my subconscious), I used to judge myself a lot, now I think it's beautiful, getting out of the church allowed me to remove the remaining beliefs from stage blue and start seeing my body as sacred. Spirituality nowadays became the new religion, it's funny how the roots of christianity are still ingrained in all of our minds. I do have a lot of visions, I never broke through with 5meo dmt, but I've tried it many times, apparently I had a high tolerance and was afraid to pump up the dose, I even went to a Martin Ball lecture to ask him, he told me to try salvia that would help break my mind open, then I stopped trying, the experiences I had before were too intense and reality shattering. After doing 5meo whenever I smoked weed, it would bring me back to the experience, like people are just figurative and didnt really exist and my vision would distort, I would look around my room and it was like a perspective drawing, I could see the nothingness behind everything, and I felt like reality was made of plastic lol like a scenario where they record a show or movie, I was getting Truman Showd lol then I went through a depressive phase of solipsism, nowadays I see how much that helped me with being more authentic. So funny you talked about bird, it reminded me of one of the times I did 5meo, I snorted and laid down, it was like the electrical current of the substance was more than my body could handle, I basically stopped breathing, but at the time I didn't have the knowledge that breathing is a construction of the mind, I got up desperate and went outside for air, when I went outside I started hearing this really loud noise inside my head, then I looked up and a bird was flying really really high, but at the same time the sounds of its wings flapping were inside my head, my mind was creating the bird and the noise, and not only I could hear him but I could understand the mechanism of the wings, it was like the bird was there just for me, to witness. A couple weeks after that I was putting gas in my car and it hit me really hard, that when I left my apartment the apartment cease to exist, unless I was there to witness, my mind was creating the apartment, the apartment was in my mind. I'm still integrating all of that, it was 5 years ago and it has never left me, I stopped thinking about what people think about me, because there is only me, I call it sacred fuck it. I wonder hjow it would be if I broke through.
  23. @bambi I've had the party and still deal with the sex one, cocaine also got me very sick at some point, sugar and my phone are other ones but more socially acceptable. Oh wait, are we competing who is more addicted I just love the desperate, neurotic and addicts, whenever I coach people who have all the labels from society like depression, addiction, anxiety, TDAH, OCD etc, the way I see is that they are feeling all of that because they are alive, they are ready and ripe for change. While the calm people just seat there in front of me like a sheep waiting for me to take lead on their lives and tell them what to do, they are calm cause they are asleep, the body is moving but there is no one there. Some people die before they die, those are the calm ones, the anxious people are ready to go and make the moves, to change the world. The body is so wise, all that we feel, darkness, anxiety, addiction or whatever is basically our body communicating with us, if we know how to channel the energy and do the alchemy, this very darkness will be the raw material of our future life, we call it materia prima in portuguese, that is how we create, without friction there would be nothingness. I consider the weirdos more normal than the conformists sheep that are all calm, like wtf look at the world burning, how can you be so calm and collected? The anxious ones are the ones that are most aware, they are anxious because they care.
  24. Like you can call nothingness zero. Or you can call nothingness 1. And you will be logically correct both ways.
  25. I see a lot of back and forth and disagreement between “non dualists” and Leo and what he’s doing/teaching. It seems Leo has dropped non dual study and teachings and is much more interested in exploring consciousness for its own sake. The non dualists like Water By The River and Osaid are saying this is going deeper into Maya, Illusion and is thus pointless while Leo is saying they are lost in non dual brainwashing. I see it like this; the spiritual path of awakening has been laid out and mapped by many mystics and traditions. Many can follow this and realize it (to various degrees) and awaken as much as possible in this life (awakening just being how deeply they are in the infinite stillness or nothingness) This is the original wisdom and spiritual path. This is what I and others here (the “non dualists” resonate with) Then you have these powerful psychedelics which can show you aspects of infinite mind never before seen or available. 5MEO and other psychedelics are relatively new. And what Leo is doing is basically being a pioneer in this study. He’s like the Lewis and Clark of consciousness. A very cool and courageous exploration. I admire that. But it’s still mind, it’s still “Maya” albeit fascinating and mind blowing aspects of it. The question is not whether one is right or wrong but what you are interested in. Why is non duality more “right” than consciousness exploration? Personally I have no interest in exploring all the nooks and crannies of mind, I’d rather kick it on the beach and soak in the bliss of Being and Master that, and teach it. But that’s my preference. So let’s appreciate Leo’s exploration and bear the fruits of his insights rather than throw tomatoes at him. One Love BlessedLion