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That’s why i put you on ignore when you started arguing about nonduality you know what i mean. 🔥

Happiness is when you are satisfied. You seek nothing further to improve your current state, because you are completely satisfied aka happy and at peace. You might want to watch some Rupert Spira, lately he's been the one I resonare the most with, and I've listened to most you can find online that deal with nonduality.

Appreciate the clarification and great to hear you’re not applying nonduality as a blunt tool across all situations. At the same time, I wonder if sometimes the language of “nothing is happening” or “it’s all meaningless” can, when held too tightly or shared out of context, have the unintended effect of flattening or bypassing the richness of what’s arising, or come across as more nihilistic to the reader. Maybe that’s just me, but I find that when (in these spirituality threads) only the negation side of things is emphasized, without also speaking to the fullness and aliveness of Being, lived and embodied as the dream, it can lead to a worldview that feels bleak or depressing. This can especially affect people who are just beginning to deconstruct ideas and narratives of self and world. If all they hear is the “nothing side,” without balancing the dimension of fullness, presence and integration, it may leave them feeling lost or disoriented rather than free. Anyway, just my two cents, thanks for the dance 💃

No, the dream is in and out of it's own dream. It gets a taste of reality which is nothing but it keeps on dreaming by concepting and ideaing and arguing with people on forums to maintain itself. If it didn't along with all the other normal human things it does, it would just be nothing. Pure energy, it doesn't want that so it keeps on trucking and dreaming up experience and direct experiencing itself into thinking it has awakened when the truth of the matter is it is deep sleep, being - being someone that awakened and is arguing with princess on a forum. Nothing is actually happening - literally. This isn't youtube talk and nonduality bullshit it learnt from yt this is deep sleep yapping away as a lucid dream, and it knows this not from knowledge but something its also being and that is intuition. Something knows this, but it's not a knowing, it's an unknowing. Like it retreats back into itself because it can, as it can be anything as it is unlimited and free. Experience is an illusion. It cannot experience itself.

The biggest blindspot in spirituality is that people refuse to admit the obvious: God is a hedonistic bastard. God’s only “agenda” is the maximization of pleasure for Himself. Not moral duty. Not self-annihilation. Not abstract “awakening.” Just pure, unashamed enjoyment. That’s why the ego exists. If God only wanted flat bliss, He could dissolve into Infinity and stay there. But Infinity without contrast is boring. The ego is God’s own spice machine — it provides limitation, longing, frustration, contrast. And why? Because contrast makes fulfillment infinitely juicier. Pain isn’t some cosmic necessity. It’s seasoning. God chooses just enough of it to make the banquet of pleasure explode with intensity. And here’s the most absurd part of mainstream “nonduality”: people like Leo Gura draw a line between “ego” and “God,” as if the ego wasn’t God’s own creation. As if God could create a desire and then declare war on it. That’s not wisdom, that’s stupidity of the highest order. The ego is not an obstacle. It is God’s art form, designed for maximum enjoyment. Look closely: every time an ego desire is fulfilled, a piece of it softens and dissolves. That’s how the “death of ego” actually works — through fullness, not annihilation. No torture, no horror, no cosmic masochism required. Just the overflowing pleasure of a self being fully expressed and then naturally bowing out when it’s complete. So let’s stop pretending spirituality is about self-hatred or fear. The truth is far simpler and far more radical: God created the self to taste Himself more deeply. God is Infinite Love, yes — but Infinite Love for Himself, expressed through every possible form of pleasure. The ego is not the enemy. It’s the instrument. And annihilation is not the point. Fulfillment is.

I understand what you are saying. 👍 Maybe the problem of separation lies in the label, the name you’re parents gave to you as a baby, that was the birth of identification? But then how would humans have functioned in the world without an identity? Maybe that’s all just the dream, and the dream cannot and never could be nondual, it was always going to be dual, right? But then dreams are not real either, so all we are left with is the dual but non dual. Or, two but not two. We cannot know nonduality because we are nonduality. The knowing that cannot be known so to speak.

@zurew Fuck Zen too, by the way. It falls into the same trap, and your response reflects that stuck-in-the-intellect pattern. This is why consciousness pursuits almost inevitably degrade into a belief system or religion in the end. The main point is that if we haven't had enlightenments yet, we don't really know what we're talking about, so it exists only as a placeholder in our minds. You want to "figure it out" by turning reality into a cosmology, a neat little package. When all is said and done, you find yourself in the very same place as before - not knowing what you and existence are -, only this time with more knowledge piled onto your "knowledge mountain" - guesses and conclusions, no matter how smart. But that is nothing. The matter is not relative. Relative to the possibility of direct consciousness, these discussions are worthless. And what other purpose is there other than increasing consciousness? This is the only way to access what's ultimately true about yourself and existence. Standing on a world of assumption undermines that possibility. Generally speaking, we don't seem to grasp that Jesus didn't invent Christianity, or that Ramana didn't talk about Advaita Vedanta or nonduality. There's a crucial distinction to be made here: grasping the truth versus creating, adhering to, or spreading a belief system. The majority of people are followers engaged in the latter. Still, one can contemplate and personally get it for themselves.

Nonduality is like Rupert Spira being aware of awareness, consciousness being aware of itself, look at me i‘m Rupert Spira i wear glasses 🤓 and have a British accent i‘m so woke. Here is what you can do to become more aware Radical Nonduality is like Tony Parsons and Andreas Müller, there is nobody, bo meaning, nothingness being everything. Look at me i‘m nothing 😎 there is nobody who can do anything. Alright thanks guys and glad we talked about it.

I will go ahead and answer even tho its not towards me. Afraid of dying, that human guy ceasing to exist, that guy who is in relationship with reality. Nondual would be a state where you know you are not only in relationship with reaality but also are reality as much as anything else. As much as the tree and the river and the clouds, the birds and the bees 🐝 it's a very vulnerable place to be, because you accept your aliveness and fragility like the bugs and the plants, and now can come the terror - how come you're alive? What if its time to die? Gonna piss your pants - you wont be able to write on actualized once you die for one small example. You havent experienced it if you are here. Non of us is an expert in death. Even if you had ego deaths, thats different. Im talking about nonduality for the born being and the terror of that born being for its own death. Im not talking about the Unborn Tao, that is irrelevant,, no terror for it, the unborn can't die, easymode there!

Nonduality is a big thing. Then i enjoy travelling. Swimming in lakes and rivers. Sometimes hit the sauna. Stuff like that. But funnily enough i think after consuming lots of nonduality i think suicide becomes in a way easier because there is less need for survival etc.

Illusion. This is one of those words which are being thrown around in spiritual circles like they're confetti, and yet very few people seem to understand what the word actually refers to. So, let's analyze the confetti so that we can see it for what it really is(n't). Here's what an illusion is NOT: It's not something that isn't real. It's not something that doesn't exist. It's not a hallucination that is being "dreamed up" by some mysterious invisible being. Here's what an illusion IS: It is an incomplete perception (which is a tautology, since all perception is necessarily incomplete). It is a relative perspective (as opposed to absolute truth). It is a part of reality (as opposed to ALL of reality). Here's an analogy: When we see a magician standing on a stage and performing a magic trick, why do we call that magic trick an illusion? Is it because there is no magician, no white rabbit and no hat that the rabbit is being pulled out of? NOPE. We call it an illusion because we are only seeing part of what is actually happening; we see a real magician pulling a real rabbit out of a real hat, but what we don't see is all of the stuff that is going on behind the scenes - all of the things that have been carefully hidden from our view so that we can be amazed and surprised by the things that we do see happening on stage; and since we are missing the full picture, it appears to us like magic. Does this mean that the illusion is "bad"? No, it doesn't. Not only is the existence of illusions not bad, but in fact it is a necessary condition for reality being able to experience/be aware of itself, since reality can only ever be partially perceived and experienced, but never as a 100% complete whole. No illusions = no experience of reality. Here are examples of things that are illusions: The black letters appearing on a white screen that you are seeing now are an illusion. The thought "those black letters appearing on a white screen are just an illusion" is an illusion. The notion that there is something rather than nothing is an illusion. The notion that there is nothing rather than something is an illusion. The notion that reality is physical is an illusion. The notion that reality is a dream is an illusion. The notion that you are human is an illusion. The notion that you are not human is an illusion. The notion that you are consciousness is an illusion. The notion that you are not consciousness is an illusion. Duality is an illusion. Nonduality is an illusion. Oneness is an illusion. Multiplicity is an illusion. Solipsism is an illusion. Time is an illusion. Timelessness is an illusion. Form is an illusion. Formlessness is an illusion. Free will is an illusion. No free will is an illusion. Meaning is an illusion. Meaninglessness is an illusion. Self is an illusion. No-self is an illusion. Anything that can be perceived, experienced and be expressed with words is an illusion. Again: An illusion is NOT something that doesn't exist. An illusion is a part of reality that "stands out" (in your awareness) from the rest of reality. So not only do illusions exist, but as a matter of fact, ILLUSIONS ARE THE ONLY THING(S) THAT EXIST. That which does not exist - which doesn't "stand out" - is the Absolute, which is no-thing aka. everything. --- All of what you just read is an illusion (-> a relative perspective). And all of what you are going to reply will also be an illusion. Now, are you going to cling to one illusion and reject the other, or are you going to be aware of that which holds, encompasses, expresses itself as and transcends all illusions? Your choice.

The funniest thing ever when you discover Solipsism is Absolutely true, is you cannot help but laugh or facepalm everytime some aspect of you denies it. It's funny because you know its true absolutely and yet it is still being denied and what's worse it gets denied by aspects of you who claim to be Spiritual and Truth Seekers yet they do not have the Self Honesty to admit that they have not open their mind to this possibility and yet claim to know its not true, and second they are not honest enough to admit that the only logic they can ever come up with for why its not true is because it FEELS BAD or WRONG. Not that they have disproven it, but just the emotions they have just shun it. I've heard every objection imaginable on this forum and they all revolve around the same feelings/emotions argument and the denial that is the sole reason they dislike it but let's go further with this. Solipsism is so true, that creation/existence could never exist in the first place unless it was absolutely true. Second of all people call Solipsism a concept but they don't call Nonduality a concept when literally they are completely identical. The Universe/Existence is an ABSOLUTE INDIVISIBLE MIND. It is also IMAGINARY. It is an IMAGINARY ETERNAL MIND. Because it is imaginary it is formless. Division only exists as form. The same way you cannot divide anything on your computer screen because even though each appearance is distinct/ the pixels that make them up are completely identical is the same way you cannot truly divide anything in reality. When you realize that the fundamental nature of reality is NONEXISTENCE as anything in particular then you realize that it is impossible to divide something that doesn't exist. To give you another great example when you are in DEEP SLEEP is there any form there? No. So how can you divide anything? You cannot. So if your TRUE NATURE is indivisible as the ABSOLUTE then that means the only illusion is division. Now many people will get mad and take this as an attack on the value and meaning of life, it is not. The TRUTH is actually the greatest thing ever. Discovering Solipsism through awakening reveals the true nature of all connections. Which means it opens up the possibility for you to escape the conceptual barriers your mind has erected and give you the deepest connection. I don't hold solipsism conceptually, I literally experience it ALL THE TIME. It's literally my reality and it gave me the deepest connections I have ever had in life. So deep it was magical and awe striking. Solipsism= Perfect Beauty because it is Perfect Unity. Solipsism is not saying the people you experience are not real or that they are robots, Solipsism is not saying your human character is more real than the surrounding world. Solipsism is saying there is only ONE infinite Reality. What is real? The definition of real is simple, that which exists is real? How do we know? Because it is the only thing there is, and as such it is the source of its own verification. In truth you have never experienced anything that is not real. Even fake or what you may consider unreal is real as those things in particular. If you don't like Solipsism don't seek to understand it you have that Sovereign right as God, but understand if you make claims to debunk it you are not being Honest. That little corruption you have from not being honest surely bleeds into all avenues of your life.

1. I am grateful that I even looked into this forum after many months and had this idea. 2. I am grateful for a profound heart-opening this morning, right at the border of deep sleep and dream state. I remembered myself. I saw what I had done to me and to others by clinging to this ridiculous little self—and then even blamed others for my own suffering! I'm sorry. I am grateful for the chance to not do this anymore. 3. I am grateful for the gorgeous nature that surrounds my hometown of Vienna, Austria. 4. I am grateful for a good meal that I've had today and enough money to buy high-quality food. 5. I am grateful for an increasing self-love and dissolution of the inacceptance and hate for my body and especially balding head. 6. I am grateful for an incredible 4-year-old daughter and a fantastic relationship with her that's still just getting better the more the both of us mature into it. The ups and downs we've had so far only feel like more firewood for the flame of our love. 7. I am grateful for the air that I'm breathing and the plants and algae that exhaled the oxygen that supports my body. 8. I am grateful for a sharp and creative mind that's not so neurotic anymore as it has been for most of my life. 9. I am grateful for Leo. I watched you in my early 20s, profited, but thought you seemed so arrogant and premature about the insight you claimed as your own and the way you communicated it to your assumed listener, so I stopped. Today, I see you as a human being, and a beautiful one. I don't judge you. I love you. Thank you for everything and especially for making me take nonduality seriously at an early age. There are no words for how much this was and is worth. 10. I am grateful for a flourishing and successful business in consciousness work that is unfathomably more fulfilling than what I had believed to be the expression of my authentic life purpose for the longest time.

Nonduality says: there is no self, everything is one. You are not the thoughts, you are where the thoughts pass. Let them pass, don't get caught up in them. Let's see, if there is no self, who can choose to catch up in thoughts or not? If there is no duality, how can thoughts be different from where they occur? Reality is precisely the other way around: you are the thoughts. When a thought occurs, you are that, just as you are the body flowing in infinite processes and beyond the limits that are perceived, you are the whole, everything that is flowing. You are the flow of reality taking this form. What happens is that this form is not static or closed, it is dynamic and open, therefore, you as a flow can flow in an expanded way, not a contracted one. You are not a static observer watching the thoughts; that is precisely the appearance of the perceiving subject that occurs in the flow. That's why you perceive that silence has nothing to do with awakening, because it hasn't.

The sense of self doesn't realize it isn't real. No amount of do this or do that in spirituality is of any use or any good. It appears to happen. Teachers, mystics, sages, gurus, etc, all there. Students, all there. All empty and void of any meaning. No value but only to the non-existent separate self. Nothing wrong with any of it, but there's no being more fortunate or less fortunate because there's not a separate entity there for that to be happening to. Oprah is no more richer than I am. There is no Oprah and there is no I. That's all illusory and the dream. Now, do I perceive it differently, of course. I wish I had Oprah's money, but that's life wishing that and life saying that. The sense of separation will feel differently and perceive differently, it can't help it even if we change tge context and put another story in it's place. I'm not over here saying all is well and nothing needs to be different and how I'm the same as Oprah and blah blah, of course not. That's meaning and purpose involved and arises in the self. No one can stop that. No one can apply nonduality and no one can see or experience the Absolute perfection that is already. How can that be. Impossible. Why? Because that's also Absolute perfection. Sadness is absolute perfection, trying to apply nonduality is absolute, it's all absolute. There is no escaping this. Your suffering is absolute. Your wanting to escape suffering is absolute. It's all encompassing. Anyone telling you about God is Absolute. Whatever they're saying is Absolute. Agreeing or disagreeing is absolute. Saying there's nothing to do then, is Absolute, not saying that isn't absolute because not doesn't exist. Show me something that's not. Absence is all there is. Once it's shown, it's no longer. How? Why? Nothing known exists because absence is Absolute being present. How? Knowing isn't a collapse, it's subject/object related and both are dual and suggests separation. This is why nothing is really happening and NOTHING is all there is. That's the freedom and liberation that's being saught, but not really, as that's also not really happening. It's a fucking paradox and a mindfuck but not really because there's really no mind. Nothing is being mind which cancels itself out as in collapses into nothing.

It was very much the cross between time and timeless. There undeniably is a story happening, unfolding, or we can't really say its the year 2025. Thats one real story and humanity is pretty real, no? And 2025 after Christ, marking Christ Jesus as real and vital as well to our story. To consensus reality... in a way, i have been ignoring the time dimension for so long, being centered in the Now, and time had its counter argument - me as a human, what am I without time? Why should I even be alive as a human, if I don't respect time? I had to give something back, perhaps show im prepared to take my fair share of pain as well, to grow up from my fantasy that I was crafting in the timeless, which mightve affected other beings negatively! I do believe the cross signifies this, marriage between the time dimension and the timeless. Ignoring the time dimension seems to be playing a game of ignoring, and only time dimension is also a game of ignoring. When we add the two together, we get the cross ✝️ both dimensions at once, and crazy things begin to unfold when we try to balance between both ultimately contradictory points of view, but nonduality should be able to include both! I can't deny its the year 2025. And my own humanity. My life felt like it has purpose and meaning, not just this moment, but the events themselves. And i believe its a way for my soul to purify and glow up in a way. I dont see it as ego, but as grounding, perhaps, I grounded myself pretty literally. I fell from my metaphorical high ground. Like an ant that wanted to be a loner, but then gets injured and realises its pretty good that there is an entire colony that cares about it, and that the colony is much greater than any one piece inside it.

The idea of a fixed, independent, separate “me” is a mental construction. Not an actual, solid thing. There are real neurological pathways. As per your example, imagine you have a 4-year-old son and he's tortured in front of you. Could you choose what to feel, whether to suffer or not? Even if the “self” is ultimately an illusion, that illusion still functions. And that function has real consequences. Perception arises through raw data: movement, visuals, sounds. Then interpretation happens through the self: 'My son tortured, this shouldn't be happening. I am powerless. This means I have failed' Notice all of that has the narrative 'I'. This narrative self turns pain into suffering. Then, neural pathways get activated once the self has 'kicked in' which are hard wired - but notice they won't just go off by themselves - they are activated through your identification with the event. So the illusion reacts as if it is real. Even though the 'self' isn't a permanent entity - it's a process and functions as if it is real. So you see the 'No-Self' but still the 'suffering' - it is a paradox. There is no solid self - but the illusion of one runs the show until it is clearly seen AND no longer believed in. Until you realise this, it feels real. Reacts as if it were real. Causes suffering as if it were real. Self is a process, not a thing. So even without a real self the system behaves as if there is one. That is - until deeply seen through. The above is what I suspect you haven't 'seen' through... yet. So to apply this in a non-dual way without the self narrative: The son is tortured - now what? Perception still happens, you see, hear, senses function as per normal. There isn't an escape - non dual (no-self) isn't a dissociation. Pain arises within but its not 'yours' - grief agony, helplessness. These all come up fully, even MORE vividly because there is no resistance. There is no resistance because there isn't the 'self thoughts' of a narrative looping. So the mind isn't saying 'Why is this happening to me? I cannot survive this' etc etc. The suffering is pure sensation without any identity encapsulating it. So because there is no identification there is no added suffering. When the self is present you have psychological torment 'My son' 'My failure'. In the no-self mind there is just pain, grief shaking etc but no one there suffering. So you see, this is the extra layer of suffering, on top of the already unpleasant experience? That is the unnecessary suffering of the self that is generated through thoughts. Now in the above compassion still flows - but non-duality does not shut down the heart, rather it OPENS it. Without an ego or 'self' there to protect itself the raw compassion felt can move to act, protect, grieve, and love. It is life expressing itself even in the horror. So no-self is not anti-human spirituality. It enhances all feeling and brings you closer to the raw truth of it. And this has been what I have experienced. Think of electricity, lighting vs a wire: - In ego, pain travels through the wire of self, burning YOU. The wire 'self' causes resistance and gets burned - suffering. - In no self (nonduality) lighting strikes but there is no wire, so nothing gets scorched. Lighting still happens though. So no-self means you feel MORE because the heart isn't defended. But suffer less because no identification with thought.

"SPRING SUICIDE" Dosage: 75-150ug Height/weight: 6'1, 140lbs Setting: Public Beach Time: 8:00pm Mindset: Calm. Excited. No current major life events. Hopeful. A deep sense that today is the "right" day Intention: Wanting change, no matter it's form This would be my first time trying any psychedelic. I had decided on this day approximately a week in advance. One of the reasons I chose this day was because the full moon was supposed to come out that night. I guess I thought it would make it more special. In the past, I had read extensively about LSD, many trip reports, and understood its safety parameters, typical/atypical effects, and potentially significant risks--including brain damage and losing grip with reality. I've read about nonduality, panpsychism, and the limits of rationality in the past-- but on that particular day, much of that knowledge was not on the forefront of my mind. The day itself started off fairly normal; I had gone about my duties calmly and slowly--with intention. I don't know why, but I had skipped breakfast that day, which was unusual for me. For lunch (12:00pm) I went to the grocery store and bought myself a familiar meal I've eaten throughout the years—one that brings me comfort: Baked chicken thighs with fried rice. I slowly and deliberately enjoyed every bite of it in the peaceful solitude of my room. I remember watching Squid Game Season 2 while I was eating. For those familiar with trips—this may have been a bad idea, the violence of that series is not something I potentially needed in my headspace. I remember a song played during the episode, it was a cover of the Frank Sinatra song, "Fly Me to the Moon". I thought that was funny. I took a relaxing, untimed nap after my meal. Waking up, I felt amazingly refreshed and strong. Let us now skip to the evening time. At 7pm, I placed the ziplock bag containing the blotted paper LSD tabs in my pocket and set out on my walk. The walk to the beach was a little less than 1 hour, and I had checked that the sunset was happening around 7:50. Perfect. The weather was calm, clouds and deep blue skies with warm temperate air. It was spring! The walk itself was tranquil and memorable. My neighborhood had such colorful flora blooming in full glory that month. I walked with a slight smile. **When I finally arrived at the beach, I selected an isolated spot near the shore and on the rocks-- away from people. I wanted to be as alone as possible. I sat comfortably, and watched the sun start its descent. At 8pm I placed one of the tabs sublingually. I waited. The sky was starting to become hazy. Soon some stars emerged. Then, at about 8:30pm I noticed something. The waves in the distance were undulating, rippling in an impossible fashion. They started to ripple heavily into the air, as if the entire body of water was boiling and slowly evaporating into the air. This effect got closer and closer until it reached the waves closest to me. I was shocked. My eyes widened in amazement. I looked up at the clouds, they seemed normal. I looked away at the now darkening sky. It started to feel as if I was looking at it for the first time in my life. When I looked back at the clouds, their shape had completely changed from before! It had only been a few seconds since I last looked at them. It was, sort of funny. I attempted to reproduce the effect and looked away and then back at the clouds. It happened again! It was a slight distortion of the shape, nothing dramatic. But all of this felt as if the clouds were playing a big game of peek-a-boo, and I was the baby. It was kind of, hilarious... I started to chuckle. And then I started to laugh. I couldn't tell you why it was so funny. I started to laugh harder and harder. I couldn't stop. It was uncontrollable. I don't know if I've ever let out such deep, guttural laughs in my entire life. I felt like the Joker character, when only he's privy to a certain joke. But what the hell was the joke here? I suppose the clouds and I were just playing—like children. I continued crying and howling in laughter for almost 30min, attempting to suppress it in the in-between moments—but to no avail. Next, I gawked at the stars. One particular group/constellation stood out to me. After looking it up later on, I believe now that it was the Big Dipper. The stars Dubhe, Megrez, Phecda, and Merak stared back at me with an unimaginable and glaring intensity. Have they always been that bright? I could feel them looking, observing me with wide eyes. They gazed with a fierce, hot-blooded quality about them. It was almost terrifying, but impossible to look away. It was like this for a few moments. Then, just then, at that moment, they spoke something to me. Not in words, no, they spoke despite anatomy. Without vocals, sounds, or a chance of misunderstanding. At first, I didn't understand what was said. And then, horrifyingly, I do. Tears streamed down my cheeks, replacing the joyous ones from before. Sadness, with a staggering depth of which I didn't know was possible, enveloped me completely. I sniffled silently at first. The shape of the stars began to slightly melt. A few moments later I started to sob. I cried and cried until I was a wailing mess. I roared out sounds from deep within my diaphragm, sounds I didn't know I was even capable of producing. The stars now looked like wax dripping from a candle. They were crying too. They cried alongside me, with me, and for me. But why? I turned my sniveling head and soon heard the trees, grass, waves, clouds...everything, starting to cry. Weeping the saddest song I have ever heard in my life. It made me cry even harder. We were all in unison now. Like a chorus of melancholy. But why? What were we crying about? I continued to weep until I was keeled over and shaking; I wanted to ball up into a fetal position to feel safe. As I looked around, there was something there... I detected this presence. It was scary at first, but soon became comforting, as if to say, "it's ok, you're ok". I felt "myself" slip away in sadness as the universe and I continued to cry together. The process continues to occur inexorably. Around maybe 30-40 more minutes of this and it finally dawned on me what was happening. I understood. Of course, we were, all of us, mourning. Mourning a death. The death of "me". No, not my body. That was still intact. My heart was still beating. It was the death of me. The identity, the problems, the stories, the lies, the truths, the ugliness, the beauty, the memories, all of it, was dying. All of it was being burned into ashes and thrown into the wind. I found no reason to resist. I surrendered. On April 12, 2025, I died. As I calmed down, I could sense "my" mind working faster than ever before. Allowing it to happen, the lethal realization of before settled into me. I stood up, as if born again. I understood the "joke" the clouds were babbling about earlier. It was my life. A grand joke in its entirety, until now... and today, the punchline was grasped. Nothing could be funnier. I let out a contorted chuckle. I could now view myself from multiple perspectives. The vantage point of the stars was now mine. Same with the trees. "Nature" was, in every essence, me. I looked down at the grass, and I could see myself! As if looking from behind the mirror. I walked and the grass beckoned for me to touch with my bare feet. I "spoke", "maybe next time!". The grass laughed. I heard the waves crashing against the dock and it called to me. I walked towards it and reached the edge. Looking above the water, the night sky was so brilliant now. I was thankful for a clear night. I did a 180, turned around and then saw it. The full moon, teased just slightly above the tree lines of my neighborhood. My jaw almost hit the floor as I beheld it. Such absolute beauty! I knew it was on the rise and I wanted all of it. I walked toward the local hot dog store and called an Uber. I knew I was in no condition to undertake the hour walk back home. I waited. My mind grasped the trees. They whispered jokes. I snickered and chuckled like a madman. The stars, clouds, grass, and trees all claimed that they were always here! That it was always like this. That I just never noticed them They asked if I would kindly return one day. I promised that I would. I probably looked insane to an outside observer. I exuded disorder. Finally, when the driver arrived, I entered after asking the name, and we took the drive to my address. We made some small talk. I tried to behave and keep repressed the emotions that were rising inside me. I remember the driver commented on the moon. I let out a contorted chuckle. After we reached my home, I thanked him and wished him a good night. As I walked up the driveway to my stairs, I could feel something, this energy rising inside me, I knew it would surface soon. I. HAD. TO. GET. IN. MY. ROOM. I opened the door to my house and, unfortunately, my roommates stood there, one in the living room, the other close to the kitchen. I will refer to them as (not real names) Abe (he/him) and Zoey (she/her). I had told Zoey about my intention to use LSD that day, but the only thing I wanted at that moment was solitude. Abe: "Hey bud" Zoey: "Get any cool visuals!?" Me: "Oh fuck". Abe: "Alright, let's get you grounded" Zoey: "Nope" I left immediately. I walked outside for a bit, unable to take my eyes off the moon. It was SEXY. That was the only appropriate word. I wanted to fuck its brains out. Like my survival depended on it. I needed it. But I also wanted to make love to it slowly... That energy inside me threatened to let itself out. I knew I wouldn't last long now. I decided to wait outside in the backyard until my roommates left the living room because I didn't want them, or anyone for that matter, to see me like this. The backyard we had was large. I stepped into its clearing and sat under the trees and flowers. The tree branches were lit by yellow wire-lights set by our neighbor. It looked so beautiful. As I sat there, the fallen leaves on the floor started to move and shift their shape. They matched my breathing. Every breath I took in, was an inhalation mirrored by them. I exhaled. The shapes of the leaves twisted and bent into serpents. Luminous, bright serpents, about 1 foot long, now slithered toward me. I welcomed them. They appreciated my permission, wrapped around my legs and slowly made their way to my torso, arms, then head. They were divine. I could hear them next to my ear, whispering secrets which seemed to "reprogram" my neurology. My thoughts raced. My breath quickened. I could feel my pupils dilate to their maximum capacity. I was becoming inhuman. I felt like a painting or a piece of art. I never felt so beautiful. Not in a vain sort of way, I just felt no shame in that moment. I could have been naked and it wouldn't have mattered. Then, I remembered my objective. I stood up and started walking. I made my way to the driveway again and caught sight of the moon. It was comically large now. I've never seen such intense glow. It was almost too much. My heart beat faster. I was completely seduced. I squirmed at the sight of it. I tried to calm myself. It screamed for me to come. The energy inside of me was rising up my spinal column...I didn't time this correctly, did I? I knew I had to go into my room and be in privacy. But I decided to wait out a little longer outside. I went to the local park next. Luckily nobody was there. I stood on the grass, breathed deep and sighed. There was one dim white streetlight, but everything else was very dark otherwise. However, the trees and the grass in the park were soaring with vibrant green. It was stunning. I wanted to sink, to be fully gone and be one of them. The beauty was too much for me. Barely able to stand anymore, I dropped to my knees. My palms found themselves placed on the grass. Both hands start to meld and dissolve into the earth. I was frozen. I let it happen. I didn't want to move. And the moon watched all of this. The energy rose higher up my spinal column. "I. MUST. GO" I power walked back to my house. As someone who gets cold very easily, I could feel my body perceive the outside air as too cold, but the energy inside of me burned with such heat that it didn't matter. As I walked, I exclaimed every couple of seconds, "Ah I get it! Hahaha, I get it now!" "Oh, you sexy thing", I kissed the moon goodbye, she winked back. I opened the house door and quietly crept downstairs to my room and locked my door, hoping not to disturb anyone. FINALLY. My light was on. It NEEDED to be turned off. My clothes were on. They NEEDED to be stripped off. I felt the rush of that "first time" feeling when you are about to have sex with someone you've been having intense feelings for (if one would be so lucky as to experience this). I turned on my corner fan to drown out any possible noises I may make. My bed is essentially a sleeping bag and mattress on my ground carpet. I crawled into a ball on the far corner of it, naked as the day I was born, and felt safe. There was no turning back now. My mouth dropped open from heavy breathing. Despite the cold, I started to sweat. My heart was pounding faster and louder. My brain was on fire. My spine burned from the rising. I perceived that this may get violent. I felt near apoplexy. I was blind, yet my vision was supernatural in its clarity and realness. I hallucinate. Scenes of psychic divinity stretching onward into geometric patterns of unwinding infinite complexity. I grasped the wholeness of it. The room was not my room anymore. It was alive, breathing deep alongside me. Everything inanimate was animate. Everything "other" was me. We were intertwined, inseparable, and as one--similar to the nature I perceived outside.Then, a thought occurred for a fraction of a nanosecond, "WAIT...ALL OF IT?"..."ALL OF IT!" I became extremely lucid, then broke through a threshold. Human larynx and language limited me now. There was only one word I couldn't help but utter after that. "GOD" Coiled and wrapped around my cervical vertebrae, the "energy" vibrated, then leapt, and finally latched onto my brain, proceeding to penetrate my very soul. My eyes rolled up and back. I went limp. My body convulsed and shook. My mouth gasped at air. My legs started to shake. ORGASM. As I exhaled, every few minutes, I moaned out softly, "OH..MY...G-O....G-OD..GOD". I dared to scream until the neighbors called the police. "OHHHHHHHHHHH GODDDDDDDDDD!" There were earthquakes all over my body. Every cell of my body pulsed, achieving orgasm simultaneously. I writhed uncontrollably, violently. My abdominal muscles contracted and went into spasms. At long last, I penetrated the moon, a conjured substitute for the universe, and each micro and macroscopic part of my soul ejaculated. And yet I was being penetrated and having a double orgasm at the same time. How paradoxical. How appropriate. I understood the phrase "mind-fuck". My body was drenched in sweat. I heaved and gasped hard to keep up. This lasted for the next 7 hours, with each orgasm pushing further and further, crashing through me like waves on a shore-- to ever increasing heights of bliss. I felt love. It traced my form like soft fingers. It felt like that once in a lifetime kind of love. That first reciprocated love. To love completely, and be loved unconditionally in return. Everlasting. Fireworks. I understood the Hindu word, "ananda". For brief moments, my normal perception returned. Brief respite, but pained frenzy. My tongue drooled. Every fiber of my muscles twitched in post-orgasm. It was almost too much to bear anymore. How can something be THAT pleasurable? Terror and hysterical laughter at the thought...Then back to a perpetual explosion of fucking and being fucked. I achieved critical mass. I became an infinite dragon. Clad in turquoise armor, completely dilated black eyes, and possessing breath of creation and destruction; but granting immortality unto itself. A humming echo returned, as if always there, but remembered only now, like a triggered memory. My mind raced further-further back. The story of my life? Where was I from? Really, truly, from? A womb? But what about the source? Infinite regress. My vagina stretched wide as I screamed. A distant memory. I then gave birth. To a child—myself. MOTHER AND EARTH = I. The solar system, galaxy, clusters, void...I expanded further and further to include everything. Everything that has, is, and will ever exist. I was all and thus was the same for every "other". But we can go even further beyond. I willfully [hallucinated] existence. Alternate timelines—infinite possibilities and universes. Infinite variations in the laws of math, physics, chemistry, biology. If it is imaginable, it exists, somewhere, sometime, someplace. Minutes passed. I could hear the morning birds. As I creaked open my eyes, I was still on the mattress, hands clenching my hair. My sheets soaked in sweat. My throat was raw, probably from the screaming. I sat up and then stood. It was around 8am. The trip had lasted approximately 12 hours. A wave of tiredness came over me. I'd been awake all night. I looked at my hands. They looked foreign. Alien. Then came slow revelation. "I" understood now the mechanism of my thinking. I knew precisely how understanding happened and how it is recursive. "Self-aware" and "awake" are words that found new meaning. I felt more "sober" than I had ever been. I could see now how my mind operated. With almost every reaction to "reality" being a process born of identity and trauma. I saw the mental connections forming, interacting, and how every person is like this. We are the same. Seeking to love and be loved. Our survival depends on it. I was overwhelmed by all this new input. It was days and weeks before I controlled this new flood of filtering; underpinning sex, aggression, self-preservation, all the while disguised as "rational thoughts". I recognized how much of this is the cause of my mood, my motive-- behind every micro-action or decision. My memory and ability for pattern recognition felt easier and faster. Put simply, I felt more "aware" than before. I could see so clearly now that societal constructs, socialization, and socializing was-- low-- and at times--- high-stakes, survival. Survival of ideology, identity, goals, hopes, dreams, and stories we tell ourselves. These were necessary. A perfect balance of life. It was perfect. I do not claim to know the entirety of absolute truth/nature of the universe or that I am now all knowing. After contemplating, many questions still linger: The "perfect balance" of life is perfect and undoubtedly has meaning, but what is the meaning behind it? I do sense that what I grasped was merely one facet of a larger truth. This truth, I intuit, has infinite facets. Grasping them all in a lifetime is [impossible], but exploration/curiosity does drive me to seek and grasp further. Continued exploration of psychedelics [more responsibly next time] is needed. But for now, gratitude filled my cup. I had more to give. -Thank you for reading

Yes it does, which is why duality is an undeniable and necessary feature of reality... as is nonduality. As is every other existing illusion. If the illusion weren't necessary, it wouldn't exist.

An example of anti human spirituality: your narcissistic parents needed to climb on top of you for validation. This creates a permanent structural vibration of lack, inadequacy, and fear in you, but you don't understand where it comes from. Other people instinctively, without being truly aware of it, perceive this, and since their lacking structure needs to climb on top of another to elevate themselves, they seek your friendship. You marry someone like this, have children, and you also have several friends who operate at that vibration. They all seem to care about you a lot, worry about you, and all that. But underneath, there's a strange vibration you don't understand. You don't even remotely understand the relational dynamics you're immersed in; you just know that you're unhappy. Then one day you hear a nonduality master say that you're creating your unhappiness with your thoughts. Your self is merely an illusion sustained by those thoughts. So, you can decide to replace those thoughts with others, and the suffering will disappear. What's more, you can stop the thoughts, and then enlightenment, which was already the case, will manifest. You, who are not especially insightful (not you, another random person 😅), believe this completely since it seems obvious, and you spend the rest of your life trying to change the surface of the lake without perceiving the lake.

So i don’t want to be the spokesperson for radical nonduality But what they usually would say is the separate self is an illusion(and the only illusion) the body, the tree etc. is an appearance.

Here is a list of my favorite lesser-known youtube channels. I put a fire emoticon on the ones that challenged some of my core beliefs recently. Challenging Systems in Society - Marina Karlova 🔥🔥🔥 - Timothy Ward Enlightenment/Non-Duality - Acharya Prashant - BKShivani 🔥🔥🔥 - Clare Dimond - Shar Jason | Awake Awareness - kenneth madden - The Nonduality Podcast - nkosiyazi Khwela - Louise Kay - Be Here Now Network - Anna Brown - Kate White - TheTimelessWonder 🔥🔥🔥 - Magdi Badawy - Zen BitchSlap - Amoda Maa - Lisa Cairns - Emerson Non-Duality - GP Walsh ~ OM School - Roger Castillo - Being Lived - Sounds True - Suzanne Chang - Samuel Jacob Spirituality/New Age/ACIM/LOA/Woowoo: - Danique - Amanda Flaker - Channel Higher Self - André Duqum - CircleofAtonement 🔥🔥🔥 - Edward Art - Aaron Abke - Kelly-Ann Maddox - Kyle Cease - The Perception Trainers PT 🔥🔥🔥 - Paul West - Sarah Hall Philosophy - School of Life - Unsolicited advice - No Nonsense Spirituality | Britt Hartley - Einzelgänger - Philosophy Tube Relationships/Psychology/Daily Living/Minimalism - Cup of Empathy - Daniel Mackler 🔥🔥🔥 - Dr. Amy Johnson - Robin Waldun - According to Nicole - Leo Skepi - Malama Life - Exploravore - Prof. Sam Vaknin - Heidi Priebe 🔥🔥🔥 - Michael Neill - Empoweress™ - Stacy Hoch

Is this the only place on the internet where people argue 24/7 about whether other people are conscious? Guys, go outside. But if you want the bottom line though..if you are truly god then yes nonduality on steroids turns into solipsism. Truth can't help but be solipsistic. It's not totally Clear in my mind yet ..but it's one of these two possibilities: 1- no one exists or conscious but you. 2- everyone are conscious but still everyone are you . And there is really not much difference. Its all one self talking to itself .

I understand your point , But the way I see it, when your psychological structure is anxiety, depression, and suffering, that's when you find the real motivation to break through the barriers, since there's no solution to your suffering. If there were, you'd apply that solution and remain there. So, what we're trying to do is formulate a spirituality that makes it possible for those who aren't suffering to suicidal levels to find the path to openness. What I see is that the existing formulations aren't correct; they fail on multiple points. If we take Sadhguru as an example, he doesn't formulate an ontology to promote openess , but rather says that with the yogic practices he proposes, this can happen. I can't say otherwise because I don't know. but I do believe that, for example, Buddhism or Advaita Vedanta don't point directly toward openness; at the end of their path, there's a wall. Their nonduality is dual. Buddhism proposes emptiness as the ultimate reality, and emptiness is just a form. Advaita tells you that perceived reality is illusory, unreal. This is the most toxic of all, since the unreality of what is perceived implies a higher, real reality. If you internalize this ontology, you're trapped. It's not innocuous, another path that could resonate with you, etc. It's toxic, a closure.

How do you know? I have done a lot of things. I'm now involved in intense things. Yes because I'm interested in spirituality. I'm sorry if for you it's not right Ok but all that It is unimportant in this context, which is a thread about spirituality, specifically about the inherent duality of nonduality.