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@Meta-Man Ok, but not the same as non-existence. Nothing and everything is within existence, yet nothing isn't like non-existence, because nothingness is within existence because you can experience it, in non-existence both the notion and actual nothingness would be canceled out, non-nothingness. As unbelievable as that sounds, it is possible that emptiness could be canceled out of existence by non-existence if it were not for the infinite intelligence of God and infinity making it powerless. Otherwise, you couldn't be able to have enlightenment occur or even think about enlightenment, because actual non-existence erases it at every level of existence possible or impossible, which means no spirituality possible at all. Imagine that! Spirituality wiped out from existence and memory. Yet here we are now, fortunate to think and do spirituality and experience life, no matter how our minds are, we still have a decent chance at them.

You would think it is this simple yet... Its much more radical xDDD.. Nothingness imagining itself through infinite perspectives and yes loving itself. This is more like solipsism.One man projecting the world.However if you look at this picture and both the people are the same as the brain its more accurate as an analogy.

It's really quite simple. Yes, cats have no ego like humans do. Yet they still have a survival-ego-like-mechanisms built into it's brain like any living social animal has. (And cats are social animals to some degree, yet much less than apes and humans). A cat doesn't ponder why it exists. It doesn't really have a strong sense of self. It just does stuff very automatically without any reflection. Humans ain't like that. We consider our existence. We reflect a lot into what we do and what happens to us. No other animal does that. Not even dolphins or apes. So a cat may be a great teacher. It is a mirror for us humans of how to live life without any real ego. Yet, what is the opposite of God/Unity? ... Answer: Ego. Separation. You cannot have up without down. And vice versa. You cannot define what up is, unless you also know what down is. And vice versa. In precisely the same way, because human beings are the _only animals_ on Earth that feel separated/have a strong ego, they are also the only animals capable of realizing God. Our bread and butter/our natural condition is: *ego/separation*. No other animal has that as their "bread and butter". They only have survival. Because we humans have ego/separation as our basic condition - we "know" we exist, we know we are separated - we are also the only animals capable of realizing the opposite of that: God/Infinite Consciousness/Unity/Love/Nothingness. You can't have up without down. A blind-born man will never know what "darkness" is because he has never seen light. You get it? In precisely the same way, dear gentlemen, you cannot have "no free will" without also having "free will". Free will is a question of how conscious you are. Most people are robots stuck in the hamster wheel of society: they have 0 to very little amount of free will. The more aware - the higher the planes of consciousness you get to - you become of things like your ego, your true self and reality, the more free will you can exercise. (I really want you guys to watch Devs on HBO Nordic. Last episode is freaking amazing film man). So yeah, cats or mules for that matter, they may be God like everything else is, sure, (absolutely speaking). But they will never realize/know it, like we humans are capable of doing. Most humans right now will never realize they are God. And therefore they will also not really realize that they exist either, hehe;) (and thus have very limited free will as well). If more persons started to really dive into this natural human condition of existing as a separate entity/ego, they would become depressed as fuck. I have been depressed as fuck (I made plans 2 years ago how to kill my self, but love for my family denied me in the last minutes). You can't know what true love/happiness is unless you also know what the opposite is: deep depression. And vice versa. But who wants to become depressed? No one. In this time of age, you have to fucking happy all the time. Feel a little down? Can't have that, take an SSRI and get back in the wheel man! So we constantly distract ourselves from realizing that we are deeply separated and alone. And thus we also distract ourselves from realizing that what we REALLY are is: God. So yeah, human beings are the only animals on Earth capable of realizing God. I agree with Leo. Cats may be a "form" / "appearance" / "animal" deliberately put into the dream of life -- by You/God through the means of evolution as a tool for understanding/creating the dream -- to let us humans know what an enlightened life could look like (in some ways). My point is: Cats are enlightened beings in one sense (they act without a human-like ego). And in another sense they are not enligthened at all, cus they don't know they exist = they don't know they are God. Also a cat will do anything to survive by the way. It's very selfish just like basically all humans are:-) But selfishness becomes Love when you widen your definition of "who you are". If you constrict your sense of self to your own body/skin-encapsulated ego, then you are naturally extremely selfish in a "bad" way. If you widen your sense of self to everything and everyone, then you are still extremely selfish, just in a loving/conscious way:-) A cat will never widen it's sense-of-self like some humans are capable of doing. (except maybe beyond its kittens if it's a female cat). (Btw when I say animals don't know they exist, I don't mean they can't feel pain. Of course they can. It's You/God feeling pain when you see a cow mourn for it's new-born calf that has just been taken away from her.)

@zeroISinfinity Of course there is no ego. But saying that makes little difference. To deny the experience of being identified with an ego is a trap. The beauty of the ego is that it has without any substance managed to infiltrate everything in a person’s life, like literally everything from the self-concept to eating habits and beyond. When the ego-structure is set up properly, then its nature is spread everywhere. The craziest thing about the ego is that it has no solidity and it has no center of being, yet still through instantaneous identification it dominates every experience, every single moment the ego arises out of nothingness. How beautiful is that? @Osaid Thank you! That sounds like a really great book I will definitely look into it. @DLH That link is perfect, thank you

I did a micro dose of 5 MeO DMT. First inhale there was some resistance. During the second inhale I fully surrendered. It was the first time I managed to do that. It was amazing. I was in this different head space and I could see everything clearly. It felt like I could fully use my brain. The contrast between “that” headspace and my normal headspace is similar to an adult’s headspace and a child’s headspace. I didn’t get much time to examine things because the trip didn’t last that long but I definitely need more honesty in my life. Third inhale was something else. I totally lost who I was and I was gone. I still knew who I was but I was definitely out of my body. It felt like a very long time. I really didn’t know what to do with it but I saw the ego was a construction. Eventually came back to the “dream world” (insider joke). This puts a different perspective on things. Experienced nothingness for the first time. It was on a low dose. For a moment I thought I was stuck there but I knew that was not true. I tried to made the best out of it but I wasn’t prepared. There was some inner conversations going on but I don’t have a recall.

Ofc its You, but what if This is actually like a real dream you have when you sleep at night and when you, lets say, die you wake up as someone else entirely maybe a king in castle with 7 hot women beside you Lol. no no not that way your entire life is a dream, and when you are awake, you just realize that everything is you as nothingness. You are the moment or things that you are seeing on the moment, which is infinite. Ego is based on sense of self. You dream and imagination is as self sense. Because you think still something is other than you. But the truth is everything is you. There is no reality or dream. Just truth and it is you. You are the consciousness itself.

@Nak Khid They are saying the same thing with a different language. When Buddhists say "no-self" its with "s". When Hindus say "There is Self" it's with "S". So what does that mean? What Buddhist are trying to say is basically there is no ego. The person you think you are the one taking action, thinking your thoughts is not a real entity like you think it is. So Descartes and Buddhists completely disagree with each other. Descartes was confused about thinking. He should've said, "I'm conscious, therefore I am". And that would be not a person or an individual soul but the real Self/Nothingness which both Buddhists and Hindus agree.

whoops hahahaha!!! not even as a pointer to nothingness, a symbol that represents it? zero is something, but the thing that zero refers to... ?

What we really are is such a bizarre thing. To me this resembles deep sleep you are unaware of yourself and others no conception of anything. When we are in deep sleep we are nowhere nothing its like we disappear for mostly 8 hours. Was a interesting experience for me had a surgery and i only remember the doc saying go to sleep now. And i did and for a while there i was nothing/nowhere. Then it was like a was teleported ,like rebirth i has no idea where i am then remembered.In my trips there was almost always something,but i have also reached nothing ocassionally and damm im not there lol xD.Its like you melt/disappear.You are also very chill about it you want sleep everynight,just to let go of the costume and rest in nothingness.

If you desire as your body or ego you are wrong. If you desire as nothingness or everything is you, yes you are right. But thoughts limits you even if you desire as i am. Because thoughts has no differences then the chair, or ego.

In non duality, you are everything. Perspective, word, language, me, you, and god all is you. THESE ARE JUST WORDS. Nothing is exist Except you. You are exist as nothing (non duality), and you exist as something (duality, which is right now). Both sides are you. Thats why all is one. The main reason why you created duality is you want to satisfy yourself with feeling something other than you. Because in non duality you can just feel yourself, which is nothing. Thats why this place is based on nothingness and you call it as an illusion. In order to be exist as something different then others, you must create yourself as ego and that can happen only with thoughts. Because Thoughts are your entire life. You created your mom and she told you that you are exist. You perfectly design this place to make yourself believe that you have a self, which is different then others. Thoughts makes you stay in this road and not to find you real infinite selfless consciousness, which is happening at the same time right now. Lol. If you increase consciousness right now you will realize that you are infinite and everything is you, but infinite must experience everything, it has to suffer, feel sad, get killed , help others, pursue enlightenment vs. Thats the reason why you are exist as human but god right now. You are infinite brother. All is happening at the same time. All is one and is you. Actually everything is perfect. There is nothing to talk lol. We are all one as god.

I need to work on a good chunk of trauma healing for me to move into higher stages. Having a lot of abuse and such growing up has caused me to carry around issues with me up to now. I am not sure to the degree which they do, but I am sure this shapes a good amount of the stuff that I do in my day to day life. I think this should be something that I work on tackling down. Same with just working towards maximizing my efforts to control any OCD or depersonalization. While these don't heavily weigh me down I feel like they are still around and hinder me from becoming much better than I am. There is so many pockets to work through it is hard to decide what to work on the most usually. But these will likely give me an enormous benefit. Going to to try crank out a lot of extra work today if I can. I did not get a large amount of items ready to list, but some good quality ones ready to list. Mostly big stereo stuff I removed from my room that I really don't need. It actually looks great and sounds great without that stuff as I switched the set up. Still getting a lot of Apple products ready to list and sell as well. I was going to treat myself to one of the ipads I got really cheap, but I think I am just going to keep turning things and keeping the money in rotation. I enjoy looking at stocks on them, but I am just going to do that while they are for sale and keep buying more to replace them. My meditation has be great yesterday. I have been doing the full 20 minutes with the 5 minutes concentration three times a day. Maintaining the posture is getting easier and it feels great. I am reaching much deeper states and feeling the shift in reality of nothingness a lot of the time doing it. It is much more of an experience before. These new technique is really helping me progress and is grounding me a lot heavier. I am glad that I started working on this a lot more. I think if I keep up at this pace I might trip again this weekend, but not sure yet. Today I am thankful for Good mood Feel determined to get stuff done Strong meditation

Purpose is feeling something is different than you. In non duality, everything is you, everything. So you created duality satisfy yourself to feel something other then you. You are it. The moment. Whatever you seeing or knowing is you. Everything is you including the body. You are the objects, subjects, air, table , your mom and everything . You are exist as nothing, and created everything from nothing. Objects are there, but exist as you as nothing. Thats why objects are you, you created from nothingness. Additionally, pain of oneness is unimaginable. Can you imagine, the breath you taking is you, your words are you, you cant run away from yourself, this place is all you. Thats why have fun with your life. When you hit non duality, that pain of loneliness is worst than anything that you can imagine.

How come "there is no such thing as unconsciousness" is true, but "there is no such thing as nothingness" is not?

@Pookie I see, thanks. So if there fundamentally is no unconsciousness, meaning there can be no duality between consciousness and unconsciousness; how can there be a duality between nothingness and everythingness? How come consciousness does not get devoured by "nothingness"? @The observer I have never experienced unconsciousness. That's just a fact. Did not say I'd have to experience it in order to know it exists. But I would have to be conscious of it. Which makes it consciousness, only. Would you say that consciousness is the same as existence?

Lol. We are nothing. Who are you killing? You will never die. Nothingness is bulletproof. Lmfao.

Definitely. Specially, even times stops singularity sucks everything. Lol. Thats why i really like big bang theory too. Existence is existed because, explosion is happened within nothingness, or nothingness is exploded. Lol

You propose that the world is made out of atoms, because for something to be "real", it must be possible to reduce it down to smaller components that can explain how it arises, right? Then naturally the next question is: what are atoms made out of? Quarks? Ok. What a quarks made out of? Strings? Quantum fluctuations? Ok. What are quantum fluctuations made out of? What causes these things to arise? Now, you may have noticed how this leads to the problem of infinite regression. What does that show? Well, either reality is infinite in substance, or you must concede that something being "infinite in substance" defeats the purpose of calling it a substance in the first place. Behind the horizon of the next step in the series of steps progressing towards infinite regression, there is an empty void of nothingness waiting to be filled. This way, literally nothing is causing anything to arise. This is just one of many ways to conceptualize the idea that there is nothing "behind the scenes", or "it's appearance without substance", but I think it can be helpful for those haven't yet had a profound awakening experience.

Different sensation and flavors are exist within the body. You (as nothingness or awareness) feel the sensations when you concentrate or meditate. Wherever your awareness is you sense of feel that part of body sensations. Thats why you exist in entire body as nothing.

Dear folks/spirits/souls/Gods Just sharing some random stuff. I stumbled upon this song yesterday. And the lyrics blew me away. They me blew my so much away that I had to write down my thoughts on the meaning of them before I could come back to life. This forum is about spirituality, right? So I thought I would share. Happy Sunday. Oh also btw, @Leo Gura and everyone. Watch "Devs" on HBO. A science-fiction mini-series created by Alex Garland. 1st episiode is great. 2-7 is decent. Last episiode, 8, is a masterpiece. Honestly, the last episode of Devs, is hands down the best hour of film I've ever watched in my life. Alex Garland - the person behind Ex Machina which is also a masterpiece - is a genius. The Stanley Kubrick of our times. The series, especially the ending, is very spiritual in ways I won't go into detail about here. Just f'cking watch it. Anyway, the song right. Here is my interpretation of the song: This song seems very spiritual. “Father Ocean” could be a metaphor for God. It could also be a metaphor for “the Shadow” according to Jung’s theory about the human psyche. Jung thought that one of the most important tasks for a person was to integrate his or her Shadow. Lastly, it could also be a metaphor for Jung’s idea of a “collective unconscious”. "You're the wave I was made from" ----- An ocean is vast. An ocean has many waves. The human global society is vast. It has many people. On the surface we all seem separated from each other. However, in truth, we may all be connected, we may all be ‘one’, just in the same way that all waves in an ocean are all interconnected and all part of the ocean. In fact, the wave IS the ocean. 'The wave is something the whole ocean is doing, just in the same way that ‘you’ is something the whole universe is doing.' (- Loosely quoted from Alan Watts). "Could it be your darkness holds the key?" ----- 'It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure. The very cave you are afraid to enter turns out to be the source of what you are looking for.' - Joseph Campbell "Now take me back to where we once began Ocean Father I was wrong Years I followed just the sun" ----- He wants to go back to the beginning. To emptiness. Before time. Before form, before life. To the universal consciousness that exists behind all appearances. Behind all masks. (‘persona’ in Latin = ‘mask’). You could call it death. But death implies life. Life implies death. You cannot have “up” without “down” and vice versa. In order to really live life, you have to also know death. 'Life' is dualistic, inherently. But 'being' is non-dualistic, inherently. Much of his life he has chased the “goodness” of life. The next achievement. The next dopamine kick. The next “golden nugget”. Now, he has become tired of this process, this constant hunt. He wants to regain what he once lost. The knowledge of who he really is. "But now I see your darkness holds the key And then I close my eyes and I begin to see When we were alone." ----- He realizes that in order to understand who – or what – he really is, he has to cast himself into the darkness. Turn inward, look inside. “He closes his eyes” = he finally goes inside himself. There he sees ‘real being’. He sees that before himself as a person, there was (and is) just pure universal consciousness. God. Infinity. Nothingness. Love. He realizes he truly is everything. There is only ‘oneness’. And this can feel a lot like being completely alone. But it can also evoke deep feelings of love, this deep realization of the interconnectedness of all things. You see that you are the other person and that the other person is you. <3 <3 <3

Yeah i really got this vibe when tripping with a friend realizing i'm talking to my self while on Lucy.I might post that trip someday. To me it makes sense if you are eternal consciousness forever that you are lonely.Of course i didn't mean this post as something negative but educational.Insanity ain't a bad thing perhaps it is like a defence mechanism,but it does explain how we forgot we are one being and created all of reality with imagination.It does explain how we see a world when it's sheer emptiness beyond our form.A human analogy for me would be people with alter personalities.These personalities exist only in their minds and they are a part of their mind.But when the person looks deep within they are facets of his mind.Having seemingly their own character and problems.Taking this to the infinite mind perspective is a great way to open up one's imagination about the arising of form..Forgetfulness and ignorance seem to be main elements of existence.To me this ignorance is bliss there is nothing beyond it but nothingness itself. So i have fallen in love with it's insanity. Created out of love and beauty for its own good.The magic of it is that you don't feel alone,if you aren't conscious that you are all of it. Maybe that's the purpose of the ego,love yourself through being all the forms you can be always and forever..

SET and SETTINGS: My girlfriend and I at home. Each took a tab. Didn't eat anything four hours prior to it. Unfortunately I'm not sure about the dose of the tabs (Oops! Couldn't get that information but we took all the other precautions). From now on, I'm gonna refer to myself as "Tony" and my girlfriend as "Eva". Tony's BACKGROUND: I heard about spirituality years ago from a friend but had no idea what he's talking about. At 2013, had a moment while reading The Power Of Now. I was lying down on the floor and amazed by understanding that my thoughts are not me... it stuck and I started reading and trying to realize what am I and what this reality is. But you know, while backsliding a lot and having too much confusion about other stuff like career and relationship and all that. At 2015, I accidentally found Leo on a podcast app. Eventually, it got serious, I started taking notes and mindfully making changes in my life and basically became a student. At Jan 2020, who would have thought THIS is going to happen... Eva's BACKGROUND: Not into this work. More of a pragmatic type of girl. She listens to me talk about spirituality sometimes and unintentionally hears what Leo is saying when I'm watching his videos. I've been meditating and doing Kriya for the past three years and 95% of the time, I don't miss a day. But, it's not that hard core also. On average, it's only 20 minutes per day. Every time Leo said something like "You are it" or "You created it all" or "I am you and I created you" or "God is the devil". I turned my head towards Eva and said: "Seriously, he always lose me here. I can resonate with almost everything he's saying except for these parts. It makes no sense to me". My intention was to put my feet in the water so that maybe some day I have a break through using 5-MeO. Eva's intention was to see how it's like and be with me in the journey. Previous psychedelic experiences: Just like a gram of mushrooms to wet my feet again. Nothing special happened, just some minor visuals and a quiet mind. THE TRIP: (We recorded our voice during the trip. I would share the whole thing if it was in English) Visuals stated to happen and eventually became strong. We were talking about our experience and what is happening to us. I felt strong sensations on my back and I could even feel my pants touching my legs... A dialogue: Tony: "I'm looking at my hand but... now the hand is looking at me... it's now A hand and not MY hand..." Eva while petting our cat: "The cat and I are experiencing love together now. But it's as though I'm not part of it... I'm outside and watching this happening" Tony: "Where is Eva then?" Eva: "Who's Eva?" Tony: "Haha now we're talking" -- Later on: Eva: "It feels like it has always been like this. Can you even imagine coming out and talk about it? 'Now' is the reality. Can you even imagine you lived a different way before? Like... There was no before and there is no after..." Tony: "Exactly, but deep down I know, that the other version will appear and that is going to feel as real as this one" Eva: "The difference is, right now, it's all that there is. We are not getting ready to go to a party, to drink, to come home after, and to go to work the next day... It's just now. Now is all it is" Tony: "Yeah and another difference is, there is no thinking. I literally can't think. And we are not DOING anything. We are just... BEING" -- Later on: Tony: "Baby... I am forgetting me... Something is happening..." Eva: "Me too! I keep touching the cat so that I remember myself! I don't know who Eva is anymore, I have left her somewhere..." Tony: "There is no time AND I don't know who I am anymore. This is by far the weirdest shit I've ever experienced." Long pause "I am not even in this body anymore, there is no physical body now..." Long pause "It's like this dot is making these sounds (words) and wait, then who's the one that's listening to the sounds... and it all goes away in an instant" -- After a long silence: Eva: "What happened to that Tony and Eva?" Tony: "Usually I feel a bucket in my head and that bucket is filled with thoughts but now, the head is not there in the first place to have a bucket to contain thoughts! Those were all I've ever had! The body and the thoughts. They are all gone now!" Tony: "There is absolutely no trace of that controller left. No one is controlling anything. There is no attempt of changing anything. There's just... just observing." -- Three (humanly) hours have passed from the trip. -- Eva: "So tell me, what do you want to achieve in life" Tony: "Doesn't matter at all. This dot that is speaking has no desire whatsoever. It has already achieved everything." Eva: "Right, there is no future. But why am I not bored now? You know I'm always bored and waiting for the future to come... Ohh" Eva: "There is no 'pointer' to the future. There is no 'pointer' to you, or me." Tony: "Yeah, isn't the talking actually useless and extra here? We are not able to point to anything. The talking is like... a barrier" *Dog barks in the street* Tony: "You see, that dog barked and now it painted the street again. But before that, there was nothing... nothing... nothing..." *Short pause* "Nothing! that's what you're talking about. THE NOTHINGNESS!" ... "Baby! that's where we came from" Eva: "Yes! there is nothing and then suddenly, there it is again, it's Eva in this place, in this time... It's like I re-tell the whole 'story' from the beginning again. At a moment I'm nothing and the next moment I'm Eva and it goes on and on" Tony: "Yeah! and the next moment it all 'collapses' to nothingness again" -- Long long silence -- Eva: "Where were you?" Tony: "In the nothingness. Not that I was in the nothingness, but, It was the nothingness" Eva: "So what happened to Tony and Eva?" Tony: "They are not here anymore. It has gone deep to the point that Tony and Eva have also collapsed into the nothingness. Not that they are gone but... they are... one..." Eva: "How is it possible that 'only' the two of us are one." Eva continuous with a very cool voice: "This simply means that everybody is one" Tony: "Everybody is one" Eva: "That's right" Tony: "That's... right..." ** It happened. It finally hit me. It hit me like a super fast train hits an innocent bird. All the years of listening to Leo and Alan Watts and that podcast's guests and this teacher and that guru... All those pathetic attempts in the meditation and yoga sessions... They all ended up here. ** Tony: "Everybody is one... everything is one... it's all ONE... IT'S ALL ONE... OH MY GOD" I'm crying in my hands and keep saying IT'S ALL ONE... IT'S ALL ONE... Note: Seriously, don't expect to experience this by listening and reading and talking and all that. You can write a million books about it. You can talk for years about it. They of course help, but they are not going to be a substitute for the actual experience. Also, I have no idea how people can reach this state simply by meditating. -- Oh by the way, this happened at least two days before Leo's "Total Awakening Live In Real Time - Part 1" video. -- So... big whoop! They're back again: Tony: "Should I be worried that you judge me for crying? I kinda don't care" Eva: "What are you talking about. When and how can I judge you? There is no future, there is no you, there is no me" Tony: "It's outrageous! At this point, if I want to talk to you, I have to first make sure (imagine) I'm sitting somewhere, like on this couch. And I have to make sure this couch is grounded on this floor and this is all on the planet earth. Then, I have to make sure that I'm a human and you are a human and 'we are different'. Only then, I can communicate with you" Tony continues: "I need to first CREATE it all and then FORGET that I myself did it, have some backing stories and play the role of this Tony human" Eva: "And I have to be Eva, to play Eva again. But why? why should I do it? I'm good here... I mean not that I'm good but I'm in a place that there is no good or bad... or a place... All the happiness AND sadness don't even exist now. Why should I even bother playing Eva?" Tony: "Because then and only then the 'reality' could exist. You see, at first it is nothing (or everything) then you draw the first line, the first distinction. You put white on one side and black on the other side. What is white? the thing here that is not black. What is black? the thing over there that is not white. What is 'here'? the thing that is not 'over there'. What is 'over there'? the thing that is not 'here'" Tony continues: "You keep creating and creating using this simple mechanism. Does it matter if you don't want to live as Eva anymore? of course not! There is no life and death right now. There is no 'matter' and 'not matter' right now." Eva: "Ok, ok. Let's play humans now. We're having bodies again! parents again! cat again! and friends again! Let's say it's Monday and we have to go to work. Now that we know all this, why do we want to get dressed and go? why do we want to have cat and friends?" Eva answers herself: "Because that's the way we know we are! We use all that to separate ourselves from this!" Tony: "It HAS to be this way..." Tony in crying voice: "IT'S NOT PERSONAL. This is what everybody is doing to keep themselves separate." Eva: "It draws the distinction. It creates you, it creates me. It knows me through you. It knows you through me. It is knowing itself! It's exploring itself. It knows it IS, this way" Tony and Eva's minds are blown. They fully accepted the annihilation. They realized that all these time, during all these years of having a romantic relationship, through highs and lows. It was only the IT playing for itself. -- So we reached out to each other for a hug and this literally happened: It was nothing/everything... Then it was me... Then I was physically hugging myself... I could feel my hairs from the other side on my face, it was as real as it can be... Next thing, the other me turned into Eva... I was crying on her shoulder... IT IS ME. I'M IT. I'M DOING ALL THIS. I'M YOU. YOU'RE ME. I don't know how to describe it. I physically hugged myself. Physically. -- Leo was right. I designed every hair on my body. I created all the horrible humans and all the 'saints'. Of course when I say I, it also is You. You're wondering why you can't appear a million dollars on the table right now? Because you are god. One million dollar and your poop are as important as each other. You are not a foolish ego trying to favour yourself. You are as (not) important as your business competitor. You are everything. EVERYTHING. -- For hours we were questioning it from different angles and reaching the same conclusion again and again. At some point, I was poking fun and be like hey now it's the time for me to cry. But I wasn't crying anymore. I was comfortable being god. Eva: Now that you've understood it all, would you stop pursuing spirituality? would you stop watching videos and meditating? Tony after moments of silence: No. As far as this Tony guy exists, he has to do something to keep separating himself from the unity. I'm going to forget and try to learn it again from other people that I (god) created. COMING BACK: The experience, the annihilation got so overwhelming that I was like "seriously, what's the opposite of meditation, I want to be human again". And Eva said: "I'm just this absolute truth now. I want to be Eva again". Yes, at the end we were desperately trying to be humans again. I was like "thank god my back is hurting again. I have a back (body) again!" Fear kicked in, we were afraid that we can't be humans again. How could we possibly undo this!? How can we come back when there is no past, there is no future and we're all one? Well the answer is, we have to separate ourselves as "humans", forget that we did it, believe that we took a substance that as they say persists for 8 hours, believe we experienced all this when we were "under influence" and then believe that it wears off... poof... Eva and Tony: "So let's hang in here for a couple more hours, then we're going to go to sleep and come back stronger than ever" And it happened exactly as planned. ... I don't see any point in touching LSD again. But hey, what about the 5-MeO-DMT experience you wanted to have? Hmm I seriously don't wanna do any psychedelics for a while now. But after a while and if I could find any (hit me up if you're in Canada lol), then sure why not. Currently, I can imagine 5-MeO as a so much quicker way to be god again without it persisting for 8-10 hours which is definitely nice! Now that two weeks have passed. The memory of the experience is fading and fading. I keep reminding myself of what I saw, of what I became. Every meditation is now more of a reminder rather than an attempt to have the experience again. I guess we need 5-MeO-DMT to take once in a while so that we become pure consciousness again and stop the ego from taking over the whole show. I don't know! You tell me. --- --- P.S. I wrote this report back in Jan/Feb 2020. But then a series of crazy shit happened that I couldn't post it until today. Maybe it's an opportunity to integrate all those insane events with the trip.

I did one month darkness retreat myself with shrooms. I consumed shrooms during the retreat. In my last trip i consumed 10 gr shrooms, and had that stage. I was the god giving my ego to choice either leave the body and be god (which mean is stay in the body as nothingness, that mean is leaving the body), and my ego choice to stay here, i was so scared as ego but i was feeling god side too. And felt like both sides decided for me to stay here to have more fun with High awareness, and I already know that i am god and human at the same time (infinite consciousness, duality and non duality, everything is me). Thats why i chose to come here. That dude is completely left as non dual, which is he is the nothing in the body but he is everything at the same time. He left go everything and body is moving like a robot. Because, in non duality you see that nothing is in the body. Destiny of body is already written and nothing can change it (I was non dual or god at that moment).

Reality does no include nothingness. It includes voids. Voids are still something even if still feel something Close to nothing

Yes actually it is true. Non dual people skips teaching, Thats the reason why so called prophets (Jesus, Muhammed, Buddah and Mosa) are leaders of billion of people. According to zen stage 9 (returning the source) represents people, who reached wisdom of duality and duality, that is oneness. And final stage is 10 ( Entering the Marketplace with Helping Hands) represents people who are like prophets, because they embody oneness, self is completely gone and they are here for help. Therefore, even so called enlightened masters are stuck at stage 9, because they have still some self or even they are selfless , if they see something that can bring them ego back, they will not help you. Or they are stuck in nothingness or non duality. That shows they couldn’t comprehend the oneness, they just did it for them side not for the others. They forgot that if they didn’t have ego, they never can able to find themselves.