lostmedstudent

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Posts posted by lostmedstudent

  2. Posted

    My ego backlashed hard after 2 profound psychedelics experiences, where panic attacks can be triggered by re-experiencing those trips or reading topics on non-duality (almost like PTSD, but not as intense). I have been sober from psyches for over 6 months but i can tell that i am more anxious at a baseline level. i often think about death and resist that thought. 

    Everytime i have a re-experiencing of the existential fear, i CANNOT lean into it. each time, i feel like if i do let go, i will die and i resist the thought of dying with everything that i can.. last night, i must have eaten something bad and i had a lot of nausea and vasovagal symptoms like lightheadedness. It made me so anxious and that i panicked. i try to sit and breathe and it eventually passed but i know that i didnt let go AT ALL. i was so tense and waiting/wishing for the nausea and anxiety to pass. i tried telling myself to face it and accept it but i also didnt want to because it felt like dying. 

    After the episode has passed, i honestly felt pretty disappointed because i knew it was another chance for me to lean into my fear of death that i did not take. intellectually i know that i must face my fear in order to overcome it. but every time the fear comes up, i panic and resist. I have been meditating everyday for 2 months. sometimes i try to simulate and trigger the fear on purpose during meditation, but it doesn't fully works. 

    does anyone has any tips on how to face and embrace the panic attacks? should i keep going slowly with the meditation or should i face/trigger it with another trip ? the panic attacks come up so sporadically that i dont really know how to work with them. 

    thank you 

  4. Posted

    11 hours ago, Anna1 said:

    The flu kills 20,000 people, per year, in the US...every year. Why aren't we losing our minds about it??

    Because the flu is much less contagious than CoVid. People are freaking out, not because covid is more virulent, but its spreading power; because the health system cannot handle that many sick people at once. The measures we have taken is to flatten the curve so that people who require hospitalisation or intensive care will actually have a place. 

     

    2 hours ago, Anna1 said:

    Social distancing is new.

    its a no brainer that it works... we get infected through contact and respiratory tract droplets.. 

    n_hayes_curve_200309_1920x1080.focal-760x428.jpg

  7. Posted

    I have never developed a healthy way to deal with bad news. when i get a bad news, usually it means i did not get something that i really wanted and worked hard in, my ego back lashes and i go into full on rumination, depression, self criticism route and i do nothing all day but ruminate, stalk, and waste my time thinking about what couldve shouldve wouldve. 

    does anyone know how to break this cycle? how do you deal with undesirable outcomes and bad news in a healthier way? 

    how do i allow myself to fully immerse in the experience and just live my emotions instead of ruminating? 

    i just feel so depressed for the past 3 days and i have no motivation to do anything. i dont know how long it will take me to get over this but to move on in life i must get over it..

    any help is appreciated

    thanks so much everyone :(

  8. Posted

    Hey . I feel your struggle

    i went into medical school partly because of pressure from my parents . When i got in, i had no idea What i really wanted in life and what im good at. During medical school , i discovered spirituality and for a long time i did not see myself fit in with the rest of the medical students and doctors. Something was off and i felt i wasnt made to fit into this mold.

    however, i had no better choice than to continue because becoming a doctor was the most promising career in my hands and plus, i had no idea what my skill sets are. Also i knew that i do like interacting with people. I do find it rewarding to help people with their illnesses and difficult situations . It was more the medical community and rat race that i couldnt endure. 

    With my interest in spirituality, i began getting in touch with psychiatrists who are conducting studies with psychedelics with MAPS. This is what made me excited and passionate again about medical school. I found that psychiatry for me is a great way to combine spirituality and my interest and soft people skills. 
    it is very possible that i might not get into psychiatry and do a general practice but i began to see the endless possibilities that i can do as a medical doctor to help heal my patients. 

    if you love spirituality and psychology, you just have to go for it! Think about what parts of it interest you and dont be afraid to contact people! Talk to people who are doing things that interest you. Through my inquiry with MAPS, i discovered religious groups, met leaders from religious groups, met big names in the psychedelics medicine community. You’d be surprised at how receptive people are even if you have zero connection. 
     

    i havent figured it all out yet. Maybe i wont practice as a doctor my entire life and i would be ok with that if that where my heart wants to take me. but i know that following your heart and try new things is the best way to discover your creative potentials!

    good luck!

  16. Posted

    7 hours ago, Emerald said:

    So, it doesn't really matter what kind of technique a man uses on me. If I am not bathed in a soup of erotic emotions and feeling very open and relaxed, there is just no way for the energy to flow. The energy is restricted because I'm too tense and my sexual center is not activated.

     Wow yes, those are the words! Thats how i feel! 

    I think my issue would be, then, that i don’t quite know myself what helps me to get to that stage of energy.. The best way i get relaxed is when i dont do much. I just lie there and let him play but then i feel bad because i feel like i need to also do something but what turns me on the most is when i do nothing and pretend im sleeping

    I really like your advice, i will give it try. We kind of started doing the « sex for him » and « sex for me » thing. But im wondering if differentiating it before we even start, would it just set the wrong tone?

     

    Thank you :) ? 

  20. Posted

    i have some orgasm dysfunction during sex with my boyfriend. 

    the issue i have would be having trouble to reach orgasm , and/or not being able to stay engaged in sex. usually after about 20 ish min, ill get uncomfortable or frustrated, and the more frustrated i get the harder for me to come. i can rarely have sex for a long time because i quickly get desinterested...

    and i also get "used" to the sex. i have been with the same partner for over 2 years and we found many exciting ways that would make me orgasm instantly, but overtime, i get "used" to it. so the things that once made me come so quick and multiple days in a row can no longer stimulate me. i mean we can be creative, but not infinitely... sometimes, i just wish i could orgasm on simple missionary

    why does it get harder and harder and harder for me to be turned on and orgasm...? for those of you who are in a long term relationship with the same partner, what have you used to help your sex life?

    i have spoken to my boyfriend about this multiple times.  but we havent been able to find a good solution. i feel like i just dont know what it takes for me to come when im with a partner. its sometimes easier when im on my own but i dont know how to bring that into the relationship. 

    i was sexually repressed when i was an adolescent and didnt really express sexuality in the healthiest ways. i relied a lot on erotica to orgasm during my adolescence. and i still "have" to go back to them once in a while to orgasm. 

    if anyone has anything to share or advice for me. im all ears

     

    thanks !