My greatest fear.

[Dylan Page]

I am absolutely terrified at the idea of dying before discovering the truth, understanding myself, understanding the world and helping to fix the world. Every day I think about it. I’m on this journey that is so fucking important to me and I realize that tomorrow I could get hit by a bus and none of it would even matter. I’m not sure what to make of this. Does anyone have any suggestions? 

[DrewNows]

50 minutes ago, Dylan Page said:

I am absolutely terrified at the idea of dying before discovering the truth

how's that for a paradox...

Take some psychedelics, but be prepared to get hit by that bus  

breathe and know it's just the mind 

[Dylan Page]

@Drewnows I’m ok with dying via psychedelics, I would like to come back to me though afterwards. 

[Preetom]

@Dylan Page

Hi man, you won't probably get far in this pathless path if you are continuously obsessed with every little bullshit your thoughts, emotions, beliefs, fears, projections, ideas, imagination throw at you. Both the disgusting type and sweet type bullshit.

Why do you care so fucking much for your stupid little life? I mean what else do you have to lose? Just some petty stupid little fears, ideas and fantasies and self images... Fickle little things without any substance.

Anyway please don't take it as a personal attack.

''39:45-41:00''

 

Edited February 8, 2020 by Preetom

[Dylan Page]

I don’t know to be honest. I don’t want this life to wash away from me and have it not make sense. I want to know what’s going on. If everything will be ok, why I’m here. I feel like if I don’t discover these things then I’ll just be an ignorant robot. If I don’t discover these things then I won’t want to do anything in life but pursue meaningless pleasure and then die and not have any sort of grip on the world or purpose. Maybe it sounds like I’m being ridiculous or childish, caring about my “petty” life but seeing it that way seems so fuckin depressing. Like there is no even personal significance to my life. I don’t need to be special, but I just really want to connect with others and help everything be ok. It’s simply how I feel, I don’t want to be dead inside. @Preetom

[MrDmitriiV]

4 hours ago, Dylan Page said:

I don’t know to be honest. I don’t want this life to wash away from me and have it not make sense. I want to know what’s going on

You want the Truth and the illusion at the same time? You want meaning/sense/ego but also know what's going on/Truth?

Not gonna happen. By having one, you'll be giving up the other. That's because the ego is the very thing which distorts the Truth.

 

[moon777light]

@MrDmitriiV off topic but your avatar pic is awesome

[Javfly33]

You can let all those thoughts go and start to inquire who is the one who has this fear.

[Lento]

Well, that fear is exactly the reason why you haven't discovered the truth yet. Once you start seeing through this fear, you will discover the truth and you will begin to understand yourself.

This fear is the ultimate setback on your path. You ever heard of the gateless gate? This is a pretty accurate description for your current situation. You need to let go of the most important thing to you, the desire of discovering the truth. Once you truly let it go, you will have it.

You're onto something here, and now you have the keys. The choice is yours, the rest is in your hands.

[Nahm]

8 hours ago, Dylan Page said:

I am absolutely terrified at the idea 

Then drop it. It was never right.  ♥️

Feeling (Truth) tells you this, loud & clear. 

Instead of believing & reinforcing your idea (of “death”)...inspect it. 

[Victor Mgazi]

@Dylan Page hey. It's a pretty reasonable fear. You don't want to die before having achieved your vision or purpose, as you put it, in life right? Because then your life would have ultimately been pointless. That's my take on this whole thing.

So then, you can either master control over your life, get a good grip on that steering wheel and lead yourself to that vision by fighting with every breath for the sake of your survival. Or you could let go of the steering wheel and trust in whatever that has kept you alive up until this very moment, trust that whatever source of your will and drive/your soul purpose, trust that it will lead you to that vision.

Because, I'm telling you right now, you're not here today by chance or by your own doings, you're not alive now because of your actions. If death wanted you already then you would be gone my friend.

It's good that you know what you would like to do with your life because then it becomes clear that you have a soul, and that you're not just some robot wandering around seeking "meaningless pleasure".

Now, trust in that self evident fact that you have a soul and wish to fulfil your soul purpose/will. Also, trust in the source of that will which is your higher self. And finally, trust in God's love which recognized you (your true self and will) out of infinite potential souls and made it possible for you to exist through his consciousness. And as long as you have a will and you're true to yourself, then you have nothing to fear because your will is God's will. You have absolutely nothing to fear when you recognize God's love, you won't fear physical death or the unknown.

This, what most people call consciousness, all of it is just the manifestation of God's love so that you can be/exist. It's all for you, all for your soul/ true self. You're not here to suffer or prove a point to anyone other than yourself. You're here because you're part of God and God is here. 

Trust my friend. Because only faith can conquer fear.

Good luck ✨

 

[Jonac]

@Dylan Page what do you think of the idea that when die you discover truth at once? 

[Dylan Page]

@Jonac I’m not gonna rely on it, I just don’t know.

[MiracleMan]

You can't avoid the Truth, death is irrelevant.  This is the promise of God to his son.  That fear is your creation, reject it not, feel it, embrace it totally, dive straight into that feeling of fear and don't get lost in the thought.

Have you noticed that the sensations, like that of fear, is the same regardless of the thought?  There are a handful of shades of emotions, but the thoughts are endless, better to look at the emotion than the thought.  It wants you to continue to follow the thoughts, to interact with them, to give them your undivided attention.

Ask yourself this, if you were content and happy and peaceful, would you seek enlightenment?  Would you even care?  The entire journey here is to avoid feeling a certain way, but that is completely counterproductive.  You don't choose what you feel, you choose whether or not to react to it, but in a situation where you feel a victim to the world around you, you can never make that choice, you're just tossed about.  Free will is irrelevant, whether you think it's true or not, it's important to be practical with what will help you on the journey instead of being on the side of the dominant philosophy or theory.

The thoughts are like little lights that appear in the sky to draw your attention away from the sensation on the ground.  It tells you not to look on that shadow, it threatens you with death if you do.

Think about that fear for a moment, while you don't know who you are, you have an inkling of an idea that you aren't an accident, a something between two nothings.  You are the one, when you realize that, it's the same situation it's always found itself in for all of eternity, it just wakes up with a different set of clothes on.