Rebecca Kalamata

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About Rebecca Kalamata

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    Greece or Redondo Beach, CA
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  1. One part of breaking all the taboos to get at TRUTH was confronting/learning about homosexuality in both men and women. So I tried being sexual with other women, friends, strangers, threesomes. I trained as a sex surrogate, I worked for years with a person on my own sexual issues. I read and watched countless hours of porn. The whole point was to really comprehend human sexuality without any of the religious and cultural biases. I'll never forget the first time I watched a tape of 2 men MAKING LOVE. Not fucking, actually making love. I was astounded. This whole thing of passive/dominance is cultural crap. You are creating a rabbit hole of fear and obsession. I was stunned to realize that fuck yes! If I was a man I would be bi-sexual. You guys have so much more to DO sexually together. For example, having one's prostrate gland poked and prodded is apparently incredible. Females don't get to have that experience. On the other hand, a cock in the butt takes some getting used to and can seriously interfer with ones sphincter muscle control. Perhaps one might simply fantasize about it and have a nice time that way. On the other hand, due to the shit factor, I'd want to really be involved with someone to want to run my dick into their butt if I had a dick. Here in Greece, traditionally men are not considered to be homosexual unless they are passive. Crap to an American. Yet at the same time we all know that that is the situation in our prisons. But it is NEVER talked about with guys who have been incarcerated. In Greece there are 2 epitaphs that the language is peppered with. 'To pusti' the homo, and 'to malakas' the masturbator. Like if someone drops something they might say, "To Pusti!" instead of "Oh shit". Any kind of physical stimulation will get a physical response. Combine taboo and subconscious arousal tapes from infancy onward and one has a recipe for what I used to call kinks. One can form a sexual identity upon their kinks and turn them into obsession by denial and/or constantly running over them mentally. I am astounded by the numbers of people who are going through psychoanalysis these days. I thought it had been replaced by therapy. Perhaps I'll open a thread about it.
  2. PSI bought a neck hammock on Ebay. It works.
  3. Oh Tsuki, you break my heart, I bleed for you, you are struggling so valiantly. When I first arrived here a few months ago you replied to something I wrote I think. You thought I was someone that you recognized but I don't think that was correct. But mostly no one replies to stuff that I write (one other person did) so I appreciated the hell out of you. Here (in Leoland) as everywhere, I don't fit in. That point of view has become so OLD. People seem so intelligent and knowledgable with talking the talk and walking the walk, such discipline! Me? Tonight I wanna ask about how about "Holding The Cat Meditation While Lying Down?" I screwed up with this guy (Tiko The Magical Cat) when he came to me at the same time I discovered Leo (and also that everything is here for me in Kalamata). Think Inspector Clouseau and Kato in 'The Pink Panther". I'm kind of a rough type and I played rough with my baby cat and my arms have been scratched and bitten and bandaged for 4 months from our attack games. FINALLY, he comes into my arms without wanting to play "Get The Hand" when I am lying down and we breath each other's breath and his purring seeps into my cells. And we both go so quiet and calm. Seems like good meditation to me. But I seriously digress... In the real world everyone is so unconscious. Where are all those smart people that go online? Anyway, this is supposed to be for you. A miracle happened the morning after I bought Leo's book list (Who SELLS their book list? Who BUYS a book list? But what an ingenious idea!} When I got it I was blown away by the WORK he put into his reviews. I only managed to get through listening to about 10 of them that first night. Next morning I woke up to this old guy going on and on on my wall. (I project youtube etc. onto my wall.) I'm like, who's the dude and I leave him on in the background as I proceed to wake up and get up. After a while, I begin to notice that he is funny and then he says some stuff that made me SIT-UP AND LISTEN. Whoaaaa. So I exit full screen and get his name and google him. The author of 'Conversations With God'. Wait a minute, that book is on Leo's list and he raved about it! Just another co-incidence. A synchronicity. A MIRACLE. It's like this all the time now. I am given all that is before me that I do not see. This started when Ho'opopono appeared and I began to say it. "I'm sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you, I love you". One needs to be aware of 100% responsibility for all that is before (and behind them). So a bunch of really unlikely things happened. The gist is that all has been given to me. All the promises have been fullfilled. It's been a long life, hard every step of the way. Who designs a life the way I did? Who consciously sets out to test and break every social taboo to get to the bottom of it all? To get at TRUTH? Well me. And you are breaking my bleeding heart with your round and round and struggling with whether or not to do the laundry. (My husband and I have pretty much always lived in separate countries and he won't clean. When he comes to the US I stop cleaning until he leaves. I won't cook either. No problem. One has to be flexible after all). So here's Neale and the video. Listen from 50:00 to hear the thing that I (and Neale) needed to hear. And as for the Bible... I got so disgusted with the characters and their shenanigans unto each other when I decided to go back and review the story of my namesake Rebecca that I stopped cause I remember the rest. And these are the folks 'GOD' had to work with within all THREE major western religions. No wonder Christ had to come and nail himself to a cross just to get everybody's attention. And the poppycock that has always gone on within the divisions of Islam is insane, and the crap that I hear from the various major Christian sects (Catholicism, Orthodoxy, Protestantism)! Poor God, poor me, poor you, poor we. Two words only: LOVE, FORGIVE.
  4. Got It! Think about coming to Kalamata Leo. Do a Leo workshop, do a solo retreat that I could set up for you, visit unbelievable ruins, and/or a hidden waterfall pouring into a turquoise series of clear pools. That's me and an angel pilot named Petro. That's Kalamata below. It really is ok to take 50 years to do one's work.
  5. https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dgc9DCa1aT5E%26feature%3Dyoutu.be%26fbclid%3DIwAR3y8Zlz3-fdPiaEqVlmrxi6X1wXDdVRiaJNfQ9l8d-KkthlvQksPklVGiw&h=AT0LFxv7MwR9E5RfCkv29xne5WaxHW1N_-D9LwwpFA8JLGaa6T6RfpJ8goBfIWq8fLqZ9UV48t7didPrpGlXKlnTCXAcvo88iOYK1LzWzFnz_mToirp2MdnzAJ7Ie_twoY08 Sorry, I just don't know how to get my video of para gliding over Kalamata into a post. Maybe I have done it so that you can view it Leo. About a year ago you were writing about doing a tour. I just found those writings a few days ago. I have been taking you on a journey the last few months, letting you know who I am, where I am, how I got here, and how glorious it is. My question is, are you able to pull all my content; my posts, replies, comments and journaling together?
  6. I have been having stuff like what you are talking about happen (not like your wind thing though). I have been reading and writing all day and am very tired now. I just wanted to validate you and send you a reply. I am very happy for you. ISN'T IT LOVELY? ISN't IT WONDERFUL?
  7. GROUP It was 1968 and a lot of kids were starting to act out with drugs and rebelling. So much was going on! So much drama, so much excitement. I wanted to be part of it more than anything else but I was only 13. 13 going on 20 as my mom always says. The sex, the move to California, the jump into the upper class, my father and his influence, my mother and hers, and my God! The times! It was a cocktail of life, pretty much all of a sudden. Parents had absolutely no idea how to cope with us. A man named Jim Brennan was hired by Palos Verdes Unified School District to help the kids. Jim was a psychologist who brought his program, "Group Dynamics" to the district. He started an afterschool group at Palos Verdes Continuation School with kids who had been kicked out of Palos Verdes High regular school and he started a group at Malaga Cove Intermediate School. He also had a group of college kids in a private practice in Santa Monica, on the other side of Los Angeles. Jim got the school counselors involved and they recommended and recruited the first kids. I was one of them and very proud and excited about it. We gathered after school in the teacher's lounge, a special room reserved for the teachers only. Couches, carpets, nice. Not a classroom. Jim had us go around and introduce ourselves and say how we were feeling. What a shock! We immediately learned that we didn't know how to do this! We didn't even know how to identify how we were feeling! Jim did not accept, "I feel good." Or bad, or nice or fine. We learned to be more specific and to identify what "good" was. Happy, excited, grateful. And bad; angry, lonely, sad. Jim was tough in his demand that we be clear in identifying and saying how we felt. The fundamentals of the group were really important to me. And they remain really important. I always know exactly how I feel and have always known since 1968. The next thing we learned was how to look at each other in the face when we talked. And then to look at each other and talk to the other person about what we saw. And then how we felt to hear from the person talking to us. It went something like this... "I am happy today. I'm excited to be here and I want to respond to Karen." Then, "Karen, you look happy and I really like your hair." And Jim would prompt us to be more specific about what it was we liked. So then from Jim, "How does that make you feel Karen? Tell her how you felt when she complimented you." Jim introduced the idea of "sponsors" to us. Everyone in the group had a sponsor and everyone was a sponsoree. The sponsor had to call or talk to their sponsoree every day. They had to find out how the sponsoree was feeling and generally how their day went and how things were going at home and in school. They also had responsibilities with their sponsoree in Group. Jim had begun to expand the group's objectives. Now we began to learn how to have relationships with each other. And terms like reality and confront as in facing reality and confronting our feelings and each other were introduced. Confronting our issues within our families and between each other became the focus of Group. We met after school for 2.5 hrs. 3 times a week. The sponsor's job was to "bring up" ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING their sponsoree was not bringing up themselves. The focus and objectives were to feel our feelings and to express them...NO MATTER WHAT OR HOW HARD IT WAS. We learned to look deep and deeper still within and to speak about it. We cried and screamed with and at each other. "HOW DOES IT FEEL WHEN YOU....WHEN SHE… WHEN THEY… And we went deeper and deeper into our relationships with each other. We learned about how people transfer their feelings. About how we could have love for someone and rather than preserving that feeling specifically for them and sharing it, how people give their love away to others. We learned about manipulation and how we manipulated each other and our family members and how we were manipulated by them. We learned about what was valid, true and real. And we called each other out on EVERYTHING. A big deal was "selling out". We learned that people sell themselves out all the time to get approval, especially from parents. And that parents manipulate kids all the time and we learned all the many reasons why and how. And we screamed hate about it and held each other afterward. And loneliness, we learned all the ways we try to run from loneliness. And about getting attention in invalid ways. We learned about being self-centered and about being jealous and envious. We learned about possessiveness of people and about how NOBODY OWNS ANYBODY. Not a mother or father, not a boyfriend or girlfriend, not a best friend, not a husband or wife. And we learned all these things EXPERIENTIALLY in the group. When school got out Jim announced that we would be meeting every day. He had made arrangements to use the school auditorium. The high school and college kids joined us. We had our original core groups of our age level people that he began to call by Greek letters. Alpha Group, Beta Group, Gamma Group, Delta Group. Then he started leadership training groups and sponsorship, training groups. Every day we had huge, "Encounter Groups" in which we would keep it real to the moment and respond to people we barely knew from the other groups. I have not tried to explain any of this to anyone. It was an incomprehensible thing to be involved with and to my knowledge nothing like it has ever been done before or since. We were committed to being real, being completely honest in and about everything, being able to face and confront any and every invalid way we were acting or being treated. It was hard. Really, really hard. Day after day. Jim pressured us to bring in new members, family, friends, other kids from school. That first summer there were 50 or more of us at one point. But Group was definitely not for everyone. Kids dropped out all the time. And when they left they badmouthed Group. And if they were our friends they'd bother all the time about how could we put up with all that shit and that we were being controlled. Actually, before Group I had begun to make a few friends. I lost them because of Group. Another hard thing was that we were expected to be doing well in school. When school started up again Jim introduced, "Lifestyle Training groups". We had to meet at lunchtime with one of the kids who had been around the previous year as the Leader. Each kid had to report on their homework and grades. Then we had to talk about what kind of cultural things we were pursuing. What books we were reading, what movies we saw, how much TV we watched. Because of the the intensity of Group and all the kids who had dropped out, it became very controversial and Jim's contract with the school district was not renewed. Not to worry. Jim had involved the head of a local church and we began to meet there. A bunch of people from the church joined then. We had to pay now though. I got a job and so I could pay my own way. I also got my little sister in cause Jim had started a little kids group and my sister Lisa was only 6 yrs. but was a real pain in the neck. I was worried about her because all she got was negative feedback from the family. She needed to change her ways or have a very difficult life. So I paid for her Group too. I swore to them that I would not quit. I would not join the fucked up people who lied and cheated and manipulated each other. The chickenshits who wouldn't face reality. I would not sell out like the quitters and losers. So another year passed and then I was out of middle school and moving on to High School. I can't tell the incidents in a way that will serve any purpose. One of them though taught me that when there is a sudden change in a relationship, there is always more going on than meets the eye. So when I find myself reluctant to do or talk about things that were no problem before, first I think about and look very carefully at my actions and words and then I try to understand how I might have caused hurt feelings, anger, annoyance, resentment, jealousy or any other of the myriad of painful feelings that arise in all relationships between people. I can always find something. It's usually very difficult for me then. My inclination is to feel defensive and to look for justification of myself. That's another thing we learned about in Group. We were not permitted under any circumstances to get defensive. No excuses, no reasons, no explanations. Being defensive was just hanging oneself. And it was easy to watch it in others and see what they themselves couldn't and wouldn't see. So I force myself to recognize my responsibility whether or not the other person figures their part out. It doesn't matter if I act hurtfully in reaction to feeling hurt or mad or whichever of those hard feelings that I hate. It isn't valid. It is acting out instead of confronting my feelings and telling the person. So even doing something hurtful out of carelessness or being unaware was and is not acceptable. It just means I'm being out of touch with myself. I am not sure that I am going to write about the rest. I am beginning to regret even starting this saga. Well... I'm going to have to I think. Cause I began to have a real problem. And it is very hard to write about. See I didn't want to be in Group anymore. I hadn't wanted to be in Group for a long time. And I couldn't quit. I was REALLY tired of abstaining from low consciousness things. See we were being taught to see ourselves as very special. Very different and to see everybody that wasn't in Group as all messed up. Especially the quitters. To leave Group meant rejecting this high level of relationships and these people who loved us and we were told that we would regret copping out and selling out for the rest of our lives. We weren't allowed to have friends outside of Group or to participate in any of the faddish things going on. No sports or surfing. Those boys had to quit their teams and surfer friends. No dances, no rock music. Jim called these things scitzy from schizophrenic. We'd get blasted if we were ever scitzy and out of touch with our feelings. We'd get yelled and screamed at by our sponsors, the student group leaders, the other members, and Jim. And during the yelling sponsors would start yelling at their sponsors if they weren't participating/helping. "You fucking selfish bitch!" How are you feeling? You're just sitting there like an asshole! What's going on with YOU?" "Get out f yourself God damn it!" If someone wanted to quit they were expected to come and announce it to the Group. That was the deal but then the screaming, swearing and name-calling would commence with people yelling "I'm feeling HATE for you, you fucking asshole! How dare you leave me/us after all the work I/we have done with you?! My God you are a self-centered little bitch!" All the "quitter's issues would be brought up and dire predictions of what was going to happen to them were screamed at them. "You fucking little whore! You want to go back out and use drugs and fuck assholes who just want to use you. You'll end up a prostitute and drug addict! I hate you!" It was rough going for those of us who really were at risk for that ever possible future. It was rough for the normal kids too though, all those dire predictions about the fake people and users and manipulators who they were trading Group and honesty away for. And it's true. There's nobody out here. Lots of fake, plastic people with egocentric values if they are successful. Blamers and manipulators. People on the run from their feelings, defending themselves even to themselves. They buy whatever myths about God and their cultures that they tell each other, generation after generation. That's the worst. The psychological ways they ruin their kids in the name of their loving them. That's one reason why I don't have kids. I did not want to be involved with making somebody's life so difficult and I knew what my serious issues regarding love and neediness were. Because when I was old enough to rejoin Group after they left California and moved all together to Hawaii, I had no intention of keeping my word and returning to Group as I had promised. I had a fantasy about this guy in Greece who was going to be my best friend. I had very, very high expectations. But I digress…. By the time I got to high school, I didn't want to be in Group anymore. I didn't recognize myself I was so perfect. But it wasn't real and that's what being in Group was all about. Being real. The kids in the program were not kids that I normally would have chosen for friends. The intellectually higher activities we pursued were not what I'd have chosen to spend my time with. School was getting harder and I was missing huge pieces of the basics in my subjects and it was a Group value that we do well in school. I wondered how I was ever going to get out of Group. I was so proud for having stayed in where so many hadn't. I stayed for TRUTH. But also I was afraid to quit. I was pretty sure that Jim was right about what would happen to me and I couldn't face them and quit. So I just kept going and living a lie. I think it went on like that for 2 years. I was lucky because I never had to actually quit Group. Everybody who quit naturally demonized the whole thing. They made the Group wrong and bad and went into denial about everything they had learned. So when Group all left finally, Jim decided to move to Hawaii and took the Group with him. My parents wouldn't let me go. I immediately began where I had left off before I was in Group with all the inappropriate behavior. But I knew exactly what I was doing and why. All the time I mean. And everybody else too. I always know what everybody is doing and why. It's like wearing Xray glasses for seeing people's inner selves. It is so obvious to me. If I was to do any kind of therapeutic work, the first place I'd start would be with the connection between their problem and the amount of love and attention they felt from each parent and what feelings they had toward their siblings. And what they did about it. And what fears they believed. Most important though is how they misunderstood lies in the first place and started building a persona accordingly. One way or another we have to accept responsibility for how we cope with this drama. Between you and me, we know that this is because it is our own design, but most of us are terrified of looking at that. We mistake responsibility for blame. So we have to see things as they really were/are and without BLAME. That includes without self-blame, and that's the hardest thing. I told someone recently that there is no blame, however there is responsibility and until someone accepts responsibility, there will always be the same nagging, dragging problem. Forever if they prefer. I chose to suffer for my own and my parents and siblings transgressions. To suffer and to blame. Suffering is not the key. I used to think it was. And that suffering strengthens a person. If we like. I have learned that we WILL learn. Either by the way of wisdom or the way of woe. Learning by way of wisdom is listening to other people's stories. Learning by woe is learning from the suffering that we do. Really it is not necessary. Buddha went out of his father's palace and realized that there is suffering. And then he suffered. I'm thinking that that is part of the lie that we buy. Yes there is suffering, perhaps it's not so necessary to suffer to become strengthened though. Something I understood again about my story is that my brother and I talked about EVERYTHING when we were growing up. We lost that relationship pretty much when we became adults and went our separate ways. That is the relationship that I have been longing for all my life though. There has been no one since our adolescence that was interested in how it works that would talk to me about who they are and what they have figured out. Figure out? THEY don't know there is something TO figure out. I am going to direct attention to an expose that a guy named Craig Cornell wrote and published about Group in Hawaii and what happened. He became a lawyer so the first part of it is legal stuff he must have felt he needed to add. Read through quite a bit of things Craig included until you get to: Introduction To The Brennan Cult Jim's name is/was James Brennan
  8. Hi danilofaria, Please bear with me, I have a lot to say on this topic of having children. First of all, I always wanted kids as a young child and later a young woman but I was aware that I was pretty fucked up in a lot of ways and I blamed my parents for that as well as my own selfishness and helplessness in the face of a lot of self-destructive things that I wanted to do. I was unrelenting in my accusations to my parents of their having taken easy ways out and selling themselves out for material things and on and on. And the truth is that I have not actually met any parents that did more, gave more, achieved more, or were just great parents than mine. So I was setting the bar pretty high for myself cause I knew that the day would come when my own kids would confront me with my bullshit and blame me for their miseries. So first and foremost it became very important to cut out my bullshit. And I couldn't. Next came the issue of a father to my hypothetical kids. Being a woman with authority issues, how ever was I to find a partner that wasn't going to pull the control shit that many men think that they have to pull? Granted, there are blessed souls out there that are actualized and aren't controlling. I just had never met one. So my solution was to "seek lower companions", guys that were pretty much more fucked up than me. On top of that, I didn't trust men who hadn't stepped out of the box AND I didn't trust men who had. At least the "Bad Boys" were fun and weren't on my case with disapproval and control. I was really conscious that finances and kids are major factors in breaking up relationships. A good rule of thumb that I thought of was that a person should be able to support themself and one other before they have a child. Shit happens in life and most marriages break up. All the sad stories about the long-suffering single mothers, the custody battles, the child support. What a nightmare to be shackled to a man for the rest of my youth, that I once thought I loved, until my child could support himself/herself. In my thirties, I finally put a lot of the bullshit aside and became a primary school teacher. It immediately was apparent that the kids with a fighting chance of progressing in academic learning were the ones who had someone at home that was ACTUALLY DOING THEIR HOMEWORK WITH THEM. And I am not talking about, 'kid at the table while Mom is cooking dinner or doing laundry, or bathing another kid, or, or, or....' And homework just keeps getting harder and harder. By 5th grade, kids are getting several hours of homework now. As a teacher, I hated assigning homework because I knew the havoc that it was causing in many of the homes. "Do you God Damned Homework! "I can't!" "What do you mean you CAN'T? Aren't you paying attention in class?" "But she didn't explain it!" "Well then ASK her!" "I did but I still didn't understand!" In some homes, this battle goes on every night FOR YEARS. People in nuclear families begin to HATE each other due to homework wars. I have LOTS more reasons NOT to have children. But let's say a couple genuinely love one another and can demonstrate it on a daily basis so their kids know what love is. Let's say the reason that they decide to have kids to love the kids, not to be loved by the kids. Let's say they are well on the road to actualization and have developed themselves enough to be able to use their talents to do satisfying and profitable work and are generally happy within themselves. Hard times are coming. I wouldn't want to raise cannon fodder. Nor would I want to raise a hero or a martyr. I am still too bloody selfish to risk that kind of pain. The loss is that I don't get to experience that unconditional love that I would feel from and for another human being. I'm struggling enough with whether or not I am coming back to help out cause I know I'm God and that I will have a choice. I'm not real happy about that either though. I was really hoping that enlightenment was going to fix this BLEEDING compassion of mine. I'm still hoping that I won't be bleeding with it all the time. That's how I personally will know I'm thinking. Bliss and bleeding may both start with bl but I'm thinking that the blood has to go yet and still! "God forgive them, they know not what they do!' He wasn't talking about the nails and the cross. He was talking about IT ALL. Love and forgiveness is the context. It's the fucking painful content that one can do a bit better overall with, while remembering the context. Am I my brother's keeper? I mean, AM I MY BROTHER'S KEEPER? So how much pain can you handle? How much love do you manifest? How much money do you have? How happy are you? How well can you guide without controlling? How open can you keep your hand? How open can you keep your heart? I used to say that I'd have grandkids if I could skip the mother part. In a least expected way, something like that occurred but even then, to be able to pursue my path, I have left those kiddos in California and am gradually shifting my world to Kalamata, Greece. Come visit me sometime. This is my land of miracles. rebasin3@gmail.com
  9. Leo, I came across this last night and it brings me full circle. The first thing that I posted after you arriving on my wall (I have a projector that I use to project onto my wall from my laptop) was that I wanted you to get to know me. It would be a good thing for us both if you would give me a shout at my email address rebasin3@gmail.com. If you don't I will gradually reveal my intentions via my comments to your videos and in the forum but it will take a lot longer. When I reversed the Pick-Up game and mistook myself for a nympho, and I lickity split quit my 3rd cult, I decided to finally address the sex thing that was really getting in my way (It just doesn't work to sleep with EVERY man one knows. My solution had been to do it to them before they do it to me) so I found a teacher and he told me that if I would leave the drugs, the alcohol and the men alone, he would be able to help me. And that I had to be able to take direction. I told him that I had been hearing that since I was 13 and it wasn't likely to happen. "Fine", he said. "I can still help you but it will take a lot longer". "Fine", I said and we began a journey that took a long time. Years. (And he absolutely refused to give me any fucking directions, he would just bloody read to me) The point here is that one can always catch the next train if one misses the one of intention, but that particular train, at that particular time will never come again. So I have a train that I invite you to take a ride on. It would please me to know if you are paying attention. 'IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER, ANYONE CAN SEE, NOTHING REALLY MATTERS TO ME'. That's because I'm the Grand IMP Leo. I always have been, I always will be, and it's just so much fun now that I remembered. May the Grand Imp of all that is, send you just the right trains at just the right times to 'HAVE FUN FUN FUN TIL YOUR DADDY TAKES THE T-BIRD AWAY'. And if you can't take a joke, just make sure you don't talk to any snakes. They can't be trusted.
  10. I was struck when a young woman that I have known all of her life and who struggled to learn how to paint nails and then learned massage, then Reiki, then sound therapy with Tibetan bowls and finally teaches seminars on something (I am not sure what) was lamenting not having enough clients and I suggested combining her old nail practice with her massage and sound therapy sessions. I think she felt insulted and unequivocally stated that her clients did not want to be taught or healed by their nail polish lady. Oops! That wouldn't have occurred to me. It would appear that she wants to appear to be an authority and believes that is what is expected of her. Since then I have noticed how a woman that I have come to reknow will not take direction of any kind from anyone. The way that I know her is that 50 years ago I recruited her into a cult which I got out of but she remained in for a total of 7 years. She will permit no one that is in any way her equal, to be an authority. It appears to me that there is a lot of confusion regarding being controlled on her part. There is an old woman that I love that will do nothing for her own health unless an authority tells her to do it first. This old woman is my mother and we have always clashed with regards to authority all my life. "But Becky, you just can't do that!" still resounds in my ears. I taught primary school for many years and the thing that I found most annoying, day in and day out, was having to be the authority figure. "Mercy! Can't we all just GET ALONG?" And I recently pointed out to a woman who earned her Ph.D. in chemistry, yet who finds herself vying for the attention of the instructor of an adult ed class on local herbs with the other ladies in the class, that everybody always wants to cozy up to the authority figure.. regardless of anything. So I think it is a false construct and that if one IS authentic, and knows their subject, area, topic, self, then it is not even a valid consideration. It is Ego. So we are talking about the duality of being a human being in a material world. I wrote the above before I watched the 'Authority' video. Now I'm into the video and concurrently thinking about a story that I told myself yesterday. In my story, I told my listeners/readers that I Am An Imp and that I have always been and will always be and that I got an idea about how I could know myself and so I became material worlds and material creatures and on this world I gave some of my creatures the ability to do the same thing. Being the Imp that I am, and knowing everything as I do, and being a very curious Imp and not one that is much for authority figures, I told my first creatures to definitely, under no circumstances, eat from that tree over there in the middle. Cause if they did they would be just like me and would be able to create anything that they wanted and then they would be 100% responsible for everything and woudn't need me anymore. Then I giggled to myself and turned myself into a snake so that I could hide in the branches and watch. Cause I knew darned well that my darling creatures were gonna make a beeline for the tree to taste it's delicious fruit. It was a set up from the get go! Of course they were going to eat it! They were me and that's what I would do! So that was my little story and I swear to GOD that it's the GOD'S honest truth and it happened just that way and don't you believe that old snake for one moment.
  11. Ding Dong, it's online! I think you should perhaps join Scientology for a few weeks if you are unclear as to what a cult is. I'm unclear as to what your purpose is. How much do you earn by the way? You have a lot of opinions. Do you get paid or are you trying or hoping to get paid for putting yourself online? I'm glad you warn people not to take what you say as the ultimate truth. Are you by any chance trying to emulate Leo? You need to do a lot more work on your research, a lot more organizing and preparation of your material and of your filming and on-camera presence. I hope Leo is making money! Selling one course for $2,000 is not exactly what I call "squeezing" his customer base. But then with 80,000,000 plus views maybe he could actually move out of that apartment of his. You will feel better about yourself and your business 9regardless of how good you may already feel) if you approach us all out here in Leoland with a song in your heart and in search of things to praise. Here's an idea! Buy his booklist, observe the time and effort put into his reviews of his resources, question the goodness of the authors, read all the books (or 3 or 4 of them) and report back to us! God Bless you, Praise Allah and May The Force Be With You! Shalom!
  12. I have noticed many of your points and had similar thoughts. I was happy to see his blogs, the videos must take hours upon hours to organize the lectures. and to film. Leo often says that he will address something further in a future video. I know that he keeps lists and lists so I am confident that he has material. But hey dudes! It's the holidays! Anybody go skiing? Anybody fly someplace? Anybody take a break from their work or school? Thanks everybody for considering your beingness. May this year prove to be not only enlightening but prosperous as well. God is great. God is huge. God is all. God is me. I am in God. God is in me. May the force be with you!
  13. I'm sorry, A post ended with someone saying they were schizophrenic and nothing said in the forum was any help. Now I am confused because I can't find where that is or who it is. See you aren't writing about journaling either. Maybe my cat jumped on my keyboard again. The schizophrenics that I know know that they are but are overpowered when they go off their meds. Anyway... I am sorry that you must suffer the way that you do. Do you have any insight into your crippling social anxiety?
  14. Oh, schizophrenia. Why didn't you say so? You wrote, "Again an example of how I wouldn't have thought of this idea if I wasn't posting, it's like a journal it makes you self aware." Have you ever noticed the way people start out talking about themselves in first person and suddenly are no longer using the name 'I' for themselves but begin talking about 'you' as in, "it's like a journal makes you self aware"? Just wondering. Most people want to defend this way of talking. Like it has nothing to do with personal responsibility for whatever shows up. Most people think 100% responsibility entails feeling guilt, self-blame, fault, and that it requires some kind of atonement or suffering of negative consequences. My schizophrenic friends tell me that their voices urge them to these thoughts. Very annoying indeed. Now if one were to comprehend that the feelings of guilt and self-blame are illusions and in no way related to personal responsibility...Perhaps some personal power can be reclaimed and a new brain path away from the lies can be forged. Responsibility denotes power. Guilt is an attempt to deny the power. How are your voices serving you? How does saying 'you' when what is meant is 'I' serve you? Turn it around AND LET YOUR MIND AND THE LIES SERVE YOU. The rest of us have to struggle mightily to identify our ego talk. Yours speaks out plain and clear! "Ha! It's you again! Well thank you! I love you! I'm sorry, please forgive me, but thanks again for helping me out little voice! Without you how would I possibly know what is real and what is not real? In the material world anyway where I gotta get a move on today. Adios Amigo Catch me later and we'll go over the day together!" Just some thoughts Sweetie.
  15. This is too much. No honestly, TOO MUCH. Who is writing this book that I'm in? Me? As God? God as Me? Really I must be bored and in need of a good laugh. Oh the things that I once believed! RollingStone : Flashback: Trump Warned That a ‘Weak’ and ‘Ineffective’ President Would Start a War With Iran to ‘Get Re-elected’ https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/trump-warned-president-start-war-iran-reelected-933391/ - Flashback: Trump Warned That a ‘Weak’ and ‘Ineffective’ President Would Start a War With Iran to ‘Get Re-elected'.