Spence94

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Posts posted by Spence94

  4. Posted

    @Lincisman  Both. If you approach women, you will get more condifent at approaching women. If you work on your Self in all areas of your life, including your inner world ( traumas, supressed emotions etc.) you will get better results with women. if you meditate you will be more present which will result in better results with women. The point is, women care about the man. Yeah you need to be able to approach but you also need to be a man of value at the very core, and what does that look like? Having your shit together brother, having something outside of pickup you live for and you feel good about and being happy just because. 

    There is another very important distinction here though...

    1 hour ago, Lincisman said:

    The question is to what extent. Which of these will increase my pickup results more? Or is it the case that I cannot have results in pickup unless I fix other things in my life that sources my low self-esteem?

    You need to work on yourself for yourself. NOT because of the pickup results. Ultimatley this lack of self-esteem and self love is part of the reason you're doing pick up. Not that there is anything wrong with pick up or that your desire isn't natural, but often, pick upis used to fill that gap in your sense of self worth.

    If you want results with women and you wanna genuinly be happy in life, you gotta build your life up and work on yourself, for your Self, not for the pick up results. Counter-intuitively if you do this, your results with women will significantly improve, both in terms of quanitity and quality, but that depends on what you care about. Quite frankly I would rather work on my life and be happy, and get good results with some amazing women than feel like shit inside, get mediocre results with women and only feel good about myself when I get 'success‘ in pick up.

    You already know the answers it seems. You're not stupid. You just need to wrap your mind around this counter intuitive move.

    Hope that helped man. I feel ya.

  5. Posted

    On 03/03/2022 at 9:17 AM, Medhansh said:

    Bookmarking this

     

    On 03/03/2022 at 1:44 AM, Preety_India said:
    • Be independent 
    • Don't ask a woman too many questions 
    • Work on your insecurities 
    • Be vulnerable but not weak
    • Be nice but not a doormat/slave 
    • Have boundaries 
    • Have self respect
    • Have moral integrity.
    • Have grit and determination 
    • Do something out of life 
    • Have a sense of purpose 
    • Have a healthy ego or rather cultivate 
    • Make decisions without asking a woman 
    • Be a provider or at least have the ability for it 
    • Treat women with respect 
    • Don't be overly needy or desperate 
    • Have the courage to say no 
    • Learn to not be brainwashed or manipulated by women 
    • Challenge a woman when she does wrong 
    • Have a go getter attitude. Get it done. 
    • Be decisive
    • Be polite
    • Be disciplined 
    • Do your duty 
    • Take responsibility
    • Show bravery when needed 
    • Be logical 
    • Take up challenges and overcome them 
    • Sustain under pressure 
    • Be a comforter
    • Learn to show anger and also learn to control temper. Modulate. 

     

     

    @Medhansh @Preety_India  Ditto.

  7. Posted · Edited by Spence94

    I can't keep eating fried rice anymore, despite how good it tastes and easy it is.

    I need a new  attitude around nutrition and health in general.

    My sleep is getting better, just requires the consistent discipline to shut everything down and hit the hay.

    My yoga practice is suffering because my diet fucking sucks. Which leads to my energy levels being down and my brain being foggy. Some days i don't practice and the diet is part of the problem.

    I need to cut out the rice and carbs and eat A LOT more veggies and fish. I just am not getting the nutrients I need through my meals.

    I want to cook but it takes too much time. Often I feel very tired after a 9 hour work day and don't want to buy veg or spend energy and time in the kitchen. my cooking skills are not great, it seems i will have to spend energy and time simply learning how to cook too. I get fomo at the idea of going in the kitchen for an hour. I wanna get to work on my passions or i get fomo because others are outside eating at restaurants (especially in CHIna, especially young people my age.) I hate washing dishes. These are limiting beliefs, they're not totally true.  I have had them for years now.

    I must get my diet handled. I must learn to cook. I need a new attitude.

    ANY comments are welcome for discussion.

  10. Posted · Edited by Spence94

    14 hours ago, Spence94 said:
    5 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

    @Gili Trawangan Are you a girl?

    Look i did that and it did not work. All i got is a bunch of friendszones. Being flirty and shit came so not naturally to me i had to basically change a lot to make it more natural. Actually i was not interested in girls for 21 years and yes nothing happened to me suprise suprise!!!!

    All players see it this way, only girls dont. Which is why i asked u if u re a girl.

    Also where am i supposed to find a shit lot of girls? I dont get harassed on social media by girls like girs do with guys. Im nothing special looking either so my female attention is quite low.

    Do you have unhealed traumas, emotions and limiting beliefs that could be flaring up your 'pain body' in social interactions that need addressing?

     

     Looks like you get triggered by women. You need to get to the source of those attachments. You gotta heal that baggage, otherwise you're gunna get triggered and attached. You don't need some dating tactic to be more centered in yourself, women will cut through that instantly. 

    You need to investigate what happened in those 21 years you weren't getting laid and get to the cause, let go and heal.

    You gotta elevate your being game not your doing game.

  12. Posted

    中文

    The Chinese language is music to my ears.

    The Chinese language is the most beautiful language I have ever seen or read.

    The Chinese language is the coolest language.

    It flows. It sings. It is soft. It is hard. It get's the point accross. It sneaks around the point. It is yin 阴 yang 阳

    It is full of wisdom and thousands of years of souls and journeys.

    It is a mystery in plain sight.

     

     

  17. Posted · Edited by Spence94

    2 hours ago, Matthew85 said:

    @Vivaldo As a general rule most women prefer to be pursued. They will flirt and let you know they are interested, but they will expect you take it from there. Another part of what you are experiencing has to do with maturity level. Some older women have no problem pursuing a guy they are interested in. Be careful what you wish for though, I have often been pursued by women and it isn't always as enjoyable as you imagine it might be. 

    Right. The natural dynamic is the man penetrating and the woman yielding. I don't like it when a woman tries to penetrate me. Haha.

  18. Posted

    3 hours ago, Matt23 said:

    Guilty. lol

    It will come bro, just visualise 16 hours a day and it will happen... haha.

    No shortcut to the work.

    Yoga TTC also has meditation modules. I just completed my in person yoga TTC. Now doing a 200 hour online TTC with an ashram in Rishikesh,India. I love it. In person is best but the online one is very good too. My practice is blooming.

     

  22. Posted

    I will add though, Chinese culture and society is changing very rapidly. The Chinese have money now and their base needs are being met, more and more they are aspiring for happiness and the so called good life. They want to travel and take leisure time and engage in hobbies and spend time with family and friends more than they have ever in their modern History. As a result, slowly the society is waking up to the fact that the education system needs major reforms. 

  23. Posted · Edited by Spence94

    @ValiantSalvatore  They cram. Take tests. Cram some more. Repeat.

    They excercise. Have PE 5 times a week. Do morning and afternoon excercises including eye and head massage. Most Chinese schools take a 2 hour lunch break with a 45-60 minute nap. The Chinese take naps midday, it's the culture. Dinner break is 90 minutes, maybe the students will play some sport or go play a musical instrument.  Then back to craming the knowledge and taking tests.

    Subjects? Core= Math, Science, Chinese, English.

    English has been a core subject for two decades, but last year the government removed from the core subjects.

    90% of Chinese people do not speak English, they forget most of the vocab they learned once they graduate or they know vocab, but can't string a sentence together. Of course 10% will go onto to use and some of them very fluently.

    Other subjects they study: Art, music, Physical Ed, IT, Chinese History.

    Working hours in China are not normal. Many work in a 9-6 but that's just the standard. Tech company employees often work 9-9-6. 9am-9pm 6 days a week. The Chinese work between 40-80 hours a week. 40-50 hours is pretty standard for most people.

    Native Chinese teachers work 50 hours a week after lunch and dinner breaks taken out the equation.

    I guess those long hours in school prepares them for those kind of work hours once they become adults.

  24. Posted

    Specifically about projecting onto others.

    Projection is you coming into a social situation and seeing the other person within the frame of your own self-agenda and biases.

    Projection could be internally percieved as the 'truth' of the other person, expressed in verbal communication, or through ones actions, behaviours and emotional responses towards the person. All based on the persons own projection.

    Reading Non-Violent Communication, got me thinking.

    Been active on this forum this week and noticed myself projecting onto people.

    Any input welcome. Open to discussion on the nature of projection and how to communicate without projection.

  25. Posted

    Not uncommon to become more introverted and step away from people once walking the path. It takes time for the love for the universe to deepen. Inbetween that, it can feel there is a disconnect between you and people until the conciousness begins to express the love through itself towards other people in your life and world.

    It's okay to keep your social circle small. Nurture those relationships. If they're meaningful to you, you can practice more love towards those people. A warm up for the love towards the other people aha.

    The people around you are the Universe in love ultimatley. With deepening love for the universe, love around deepens.