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About Lincisman

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  1. Do you have any experience with it? if so, how did it go?
  2. This is good advice but in your experience how should one go about doing it? On the one hand, I can question them verbally, and actively. Or I can just look and see. This would be the more passive approach. Wait, I can put myself in situations where these beliefs (and related thoughts and feelings) can come to the surface (But what do I do once it's there?). I experienced that too Interesting. I see but most of the time these unconscious/ habitual feelings and responses are way way more powerful (loneliness and surrounding negativity). They are unpleasant and carry me away like an ocean wave. Hence I run away. This results in destructive behaviors most of the time. It feels like if I will allow these sensations to run through me they will destroy me. YES So a big part of it is my relationship with myself, right? Therapy is interesting. I prefer doing it on my own. Once I went to a psychologist but it was meh. It appears to me that you must do like 10s of visits to make it work. Does therapy mostly involve just talking and asking questions? How does therapy work in your experience? And what is the purpose of it?
  3. @integral Very practical. thank you. So what I do is remember what happened, write it down and try to bring more awareness and understanding to the situation. Is that how it works? And should I do it daily like a habit or just once? ------------------------------------------------------------------------- The biggest problem is that my mind spins negative thoughts about the whole situation. Imagine I meet potential girlfriend and she finds out I don't have friends. What does that say about me? shit like that
  4. (deep breath) I am unable to form any meaningful relationships (Like spending free time together) with people (friendships and others), therefore I have only so-called acquaintances. Possible reasons: 1. I had a couple of experiences where I was hurt and mistreated. Hence refuse to open up to anyone (avoid showing how I feel or think therefore people cannot relate. They feel that I am being fake maybe). I Don't express myself the way I should in order to make a connection. Put on some sort of mask, a fake front -> fundamentally I cannot trust another person to be myself in the interaction because I am afraid of being hurt and judged again. (trying to articulate what I am feeling. But there is definitely a disconnect.) 2. I had an inadequate elementary school teacher. 3 out of 4 students in our class ended up having low self-esteem (which became obvious after I read Nathaniel Branden's work). In the book, he explains the dynamic low self-esteem in relationships. I may have this going on in me. (Lately, I have improved my self-esteem and my relationships did not change) Should I start somehow digging up shit from my past and set it up on fire OR I just work on my self-esteem and social skills? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I am not fully aware of it but by attitude towards other people is not good. Sometimes I feel like I am slowly becoming a villain. Seeing other people walking in the groups looking happy while I am alone. Firstly I get overwhelmed by these feelings of loneliness and cannot function, then the mind calms down I feel this energy which I can use to do something bad, hurt others. No one loves me anyways other than myself (but still not fully.) So after all of this I just go to the gym (yes, I exercise my legs too). This is my therapy whatever the meaning of this word is. Thank you if you bothered to read all the way to the end.
  5. Awareness Alone Is Curative - How To Auto-Correct Unwanted Behaviors 29:30 idea Possible points that can be covered: + Importance of change + What is change? + emotions vs logical mind + Repetition of thoughts + going from an idea of changing to the realization of it. + Contemplation vs thinking + Role of the rational mind in the process of change + How to sustain awareness + Backsliding + Taking action and hoping that problems will autocorrect vs doing more passive approach (therapy, contemplation) + What determines default actions of the mind?(automatic behavior) + Conscious approach(will power/awareness) vs subconscious approach (where you visualize, do affirmations) for change? + Misconceptions about how to change + Role of goal setting for change + What is actually happening when person tries to change?
  6. One day I noticed that I feel most comfortable when I am barefoot with no socks or shoes. It led me to searching for shoes that would give me that kind of experience. So I found my answer: minimalist/barefoot type shoes.
  7. @eos_nyxia Thanks for extensive reply!
  8. benefits? All of them They are comfortable (at least for me), healthier for the foot (they are foot shaped). You can just google it. I experienced benefits first hand so I have not done any further research on why they are good, I just feel it
  9. Yeah, I ended up buying the same shoes. For me at least water resistance feature don't do shit. They are getting abnormally wet after couple hours of walking in a normal winter conditions (a little bit of snow, sidewalk). I don't know where the water comes from. I think about returning them.
  10. Hello. Quick question: The main message of the episode is that if one wants to change (auto-correct unwanted behaviors) the system that is the mind one should not engage into active action that is "forceful neurotic action" as Leo said. Listen to this part, it is very eye opening 29:30- 38:00. "system is really helpless to change itself without awareness" Fuck, this is what I have been struggling with for years. Falling into same behavioral pattern over and over again. I thought that change is impossible. It may be that this is not all that there is but still. This is the exact problem I have been facing for 10 years or so. ------ Does the same principle apply for constructing wanted behaviors? If yes, then how should one go about it? Like, can I increase motivation through awareness or something?
  11. These are more foundational ones. Hope someone will find this information useful.
  12. Interesting 🤔. From my pov, this mindset is not effective or practical since it focuses on things that you cannot control. @Leo Gura and others, I wanted to ask in separate post this question: What is the ideal number of approaches per week? What should I aim at? Really I don't know what am I doing here. Appreciate the answers though. 😁
  13. Hello, guys. I am trying to make conscious decision here. Do you have some experience and maybe can give recommendations on this? What is most important thing to consider and look at? I walk a lot. Bought barefoot shoes for summer and realized that this is what I need to feel comfortable. But winter is coming.
  14. All I can suggest (and that's basically you need) is to implement Cal Newport's advice where he talks about time block planning, fixed time productivity, etc.