1
There is no evil outside of self-hatred.
There is no personality disorder without self-hatred.
A demon is a personality disorder.
2
Understanding of nerodivergency is understanding of the self.
Understanding of the self is the basis for real self-acceptance which allows for authenticity.
 
Authenticity is what kills demons.

It is way deeper than you think.
I might have just decoded Greek mythology.
Hear me out. Here are my thoughts
Zeus represents the ideal, virtue and restraint. The reason why he is always sleeping around, is that restraint necessarily causes destructive coping mechanisms. Zeus represents self-denial about those mechanisms. Israel is a manifestation of Zeus.
Prometheus represents the fire of passion and desire. He wants to obey to the ideal but becomes aware of the coping mechanisms. This leads him to being torn between the passion and the ideal. The result of this conflict is the agonizing pain of self-hatred, symbolized by the eagle eating the liver of Prometheus, which is the symbol of both America and fascism of course.
Liberalism is the manifestation of Prometheus and his agony. This is represented by the west and the USA. If you deeply study the psychology of people like Trump and Musk, you will realize, that they genuinely want to give people what they want so they are getting praise in hopes that this praise will cure their self-hatred which it doesn't. This is what narcissism is.
Heracles is the one to slay the eagle which means that he represents the defeat of self-hatred. In history there are two different interpretations of the idea of Heracles. The first one is fascism. It's solution of the problem with self-hatred is to double down on narcissism and enable it.
For me, Heracles symbolizes Marxist-Leninist ideology. This is what Nietzsche truly meant with "herrenmoral". The Nazis misinterpreted Nietzsche's critique of slave morality to falsely worship Prometheus.
This is only a sketch and might need refinement, but I think it's cool enough to write down and share it.
Edit: Hey! It seems I have just reverse engineered Spiral Dynamics lol.
Stage blue is a manifestation of Zeus. Stage orange is a manifestation of Prometheus. Stage green is a manifestation of Heracles. That makes sense bc I've been a big fan of stage green people and lifestyle lately. Ever since I started embracing true neurodivergent authenticity in my life, I started to see all these cosmic patterns everywhere. I think this might be my stage yellow kicking in. 
Bruh stage yellow seems to not be universal at all. Seeing patterns, that's just autism lmao

This is in interesting observation. I have never considered that this myth of the three-day meditation could be an allegory of mania.
This is extremely dangerous advice. It makes a massive difference, if you have a good life with support and people who love you unconditionally, and you want to know the truth about the universe like Yogananda or if your life is shit, the people in your life are toxic, and you want to know the truth about your suffering.
If you are depressed, there is likely some giant elephant in the room that you need to become aware of. This metaphor has way more depth than you think. Let's break down its symbolism.
The Miracle of Symbiosis
Life is symbiosis which is the space that is created by the dance (the couple dance symbolizes the harmony between the hug and the handshake) between love (unity, symbolized by the hug) and partnership (creating space, symbolized by the handshake). 
Symbiosis is a fundamental law of nature and of life. You can be in a symbiotic relationship with any entity. It can also be a career, an identity, an ideology, a pet, a hobby for example. A large part of this space that is your life is created in a dance with the people who are closest to you like your parents.
The Elephant
So what is the Elephant?
let's say, one of these people closest to you are mainly in this dance with you to exploit you and feed their void which is their self-hatred, you have an elephant in your room which is suffocating you. This metaphor does, again, not just apply to personal relationships.
Living in a space for a long time makes you blind to what is really going on in it since you are so used to it. This is the reason why there can be something as massive as an elephant that you have not noticed yet. This blindness (blindfold in the metaphor) is a necessity for peace. The blindfold is trust. If you didn't have it, you would be paranoid.
Being depressed in this metaphor means being forced to exist in this space with lowered ability to leave with distraction.
What you can do about the Elephant
So you are lying in your bed with a blindfold on with an elephant that you are not aware of sharing this room with you. If you are in this situation you have three options:
Distract yourself anyway which would be symbolized by staying in bed. Stop distracting and start mind wandering in a healthy way while taking care of your needs and nurturing your body, which would be symbolized by standing up and start the process of touching the elephant and slowly start to identify it over the course of weeks. Entering obsessive thought spirals, obsessive meditation, use of psychedelics while not nurturing your body would be symbolized by standing up, ripping off your blindfold and then FREAKING THE FUCK OUT BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THERE HAS BEEN AN ELEPHANT THE WHOLE TIME????????????? If you become aware of this elephant in a sudden, violent way, you have a massive problem. Remember, since you bypassed option 2 and you therefore have not investigated the elephant prior, you see it, but you don't know what it is and where it came from. 
Schizophrenia explained
If you have the disposition for schizophrenia and you engage in option 3, what your body will now do is violently (often literally violently) end all partnerships with all entities you were in partnership with. The mechanisms that drive this process are hallucination, paranoia, mania, etc. 
Going back to the partnership metaphor, when you are in a handshake (partnership) with somebody, the contact of your palms is making the space stable, but it also makes you vulnerable. Pushing away somebody you are in a partnership with is the best thing you can do if they infect you with their self-hatred. What you need to know though is that there exists no life outside symbiosis, therefore there exists no life outside of partnership. What this means is that when you push someone away, the space between you two becomes unstable and therefore turns into void/abyss. 
This is why people enjoy things like cosmic horror even though it is scary. If you get desensitized to the void, you will gain massive amounts of independence.
Just because you end one relationship does not mean your whole life is a void since you still have your other relationships. So if you commit to option 2 and do what's necessary, you will face existential void, but it will be good on the long run.
If, however, you decide to do option 3, and you become so paranoid that you self-isolate completely, your whole life will be nothing but void. You will get rid of the problem like this, but the abyss is the price of your body pressing the nuclear button.
A nuclear bomb is actually a good metaphor for schizophrenic psychosis. The event of the psychosis is the bomb detonating that is destroying everything with substance in your life. This will allow you to start from scratch and build something different, but there will be a fallout. If you suffer a psychosis, you will become radically aware, but it can leave lasting damage to your brain.

Once you know how autistic people carry themselves, you can recognize them immediately.
I suggest you watch videos about people who are autistic (roughly as functional as you) and try to learn the patterns.
You can usually immediately tell just by their (lack of) facial expressions. Also, what they focus on when they talk. The more information dense the things are that they say in social contexts, the more likely they are to be autistic.
Also, if they ramble about some topic, they are autistic.
This is the easy part. You can't really do anything wrong when interacting with an autistic person lmao. They have just as much social anxiety as you so if they sense you are anxious, they will not find that unattractive. In fact when they sense you have anxiety yourself, they will see this as relatable and cute, and it will allow them to relax, so you really have nothing to worry about.
Overstimulation is also not a problem. When you talk to an autistic girl, and you feel like you need a break because of overstimulation, it is really not a problem because it is likely that they are also overstimulated and need a break too 😂 I'm telling you it is impossible to do anything wrong hahhah
The way you make an autistic girl fall in love with you is to just ask her what her interests are and then ask a question about it that is as specific as possible (this last thing is important. Autistic people don't like broad questions)
If you are genuinely interested, she will like you automatically.
The only mistake that you can do really is not being explicit enough. If you like her, you need to tell her. Don't try to figure out from her implicit, non-verbal communication whether she is interested, because autistic people don't do implicit non-verbal communication. If you want to know if she is interested ask her. She will always appreciate explicit communication.

@LastThursday Identity is existence for neurotypicals. It is not artitificial. It is "real" in the most fundamental sense of the word; but only for neurotypicals.
My latest hypothesis is that identity and social norms are only empty and "artificial" for people with ADHD.
ADHD was never about attention. People with ADHD only struggle to focus if the act of focussing stems from sociatal expectation. They never where "hyperactive" they just don't see and accept the social rule that demands them to sit still.

@LordFall you are spreading western propaganda. The reason you are so concerned with free media is because the rich of the west use free media to propagandize the people like they propagandized YOU.
The reason why non-western countries are not open to information from the west is because the information space of the west is infected with capitalist propaganda.
If they were to open the information space, the people would be immediately flooded with fabricated stories of how oppressive their government is and how "free" people from the west are. Then the west would go through the usual steps necessary in turning their state into a puppet state that acts completely in the interests of the United States and not in the interests of its people.
"Free speech" is just a code word for "manufacturing consent". "Liberty" and "human rights" and "democracy" is just a code word for "our oil companies take your oil thank you".
Compared to countries like China, North Korea, Burkina Faso, every country in the west is a dog shit parasite with no purpose other than enabling rich pedophiles to either rape or bomb children.
Every non-western country with nukes will watch and laugh as every single western country will slowly collapse from corruption.

This is why Putin attacked Ukraine. The West was in the process of turning Ukraine into a puppet state so they could extract their minerals and other resources. 
Also, they want to undermine Russia too for the same reason so they bought influence in Ukraine by buying the media in Ukraine and installed their own guy. 
Ukraine did not become more western because the west is so awesome and free, they became more western because the fucking western parasite people bought their influence.
The notion that Ukraine has some unique cultural identity that wants to separate from the Russian Identity is COMPLETELY FABRICATED FROM THE WEST. They did this with South Korea, and they are doing the same with Taiwan now. Just like with Taiwan, there is no such thing as a Ukrainian identity separate from Russian identity.
The fact that Putin finds this deeply disturbing and sad is just understandable.
This separation is a complete invention of the west. Why are they doing this? So that they can be puppet states and give America all their resources. But there is another reason that is way more sinister.
The usa is nothing other than a big weapon factory. If there is no war, the us collapses. This is why they have to fabricate division and separation all over the world to keep the war industry going.
They never wanted Russia not to invade the Ukraine!!!!! They did everything in their power to provocate Putin into starting the war!!!!
They love this war because they can use the ukrainian soldiers fighting their brothers and sisters from Russia as cannon fodder for their interests which is extracting ressources from Ukraine, defeating Russia to steal their resources and keep the war machinery going!
The usa are a nation of theft and evil.
If you criticise any anti-western government and are not giving this crutial context, you are doing free propaganda work for the military industrial complex and are engaging in pure evil because of that.
Getting rid of Trump is not going to change ANYTHING about what I just said. ALL of these things are bipartisan. The democrats do the exact same things as the republicans and as Trump, the only difference being they can hide their true intentions better and convince you better that fighting endless wars it is about free speech or fighting doctatorships or some BULLSHIT.
If you know about the true nature of the us and hear old clips of Joe Biden talking when he was still mentally able, it is like he was sent from the devil himself.
There is no such thing as democracy in the usa and there has never been democracy in the usa.

No. There are plenty of hetero, nuclear family, conservative types who don't give a shit about lgbtq and leave them alone.
Most lgbtq hate originates from closeted lgbtq people. If you are a lgbtq conservative, you have sacrificed a huge chunk of your wellbeing to conservative ideals.
If you were to accept lgbtq, you would need to admit that there was always a better alternative for you. But in order to do that, you would also have to admit that all your sacrifices were for nothing. If you were to do that, your whole concept of self would collapse in on itself which would lead to schizophrenia.
When they say that lgbtq people are satanic, they are projecting. All lgbtq people do is living true to themselves. This authentic life is what their god is opposed to, which is why that god is really satan (the demagogue in gnostic teachings).

Autism is infinite consciousness of self for you. Infinite consciousness exists in every individual, but everyone experiences it differently. Since autistic people excel at pattern recognition, infinity for and autistic person is "recognizing a fundamental pattern of reality". The notion of "everything fell into place" (efip) is the same thing. This is sequenciality. Ordinary language is encoding sequentially here because "everything fell into place" implies that there is a sequence of "everything was not in place, now it is". Therefore, efip is inherently autistic. Same goes for "self-reflection". In this metaphor, the light goes off from you, hits some mirror and comes back. This is also a sequence and therefore autistic.
Also since autism is being sensitive to sequenciality, my model predicts that autistic people are more likely to grasp the infinite nature of time.
Conformist people can also get a glimpse of infinite consciousness but in ways that are inaccessible to autistic people. The perfect example here is traveling to Mekka.
With this insight, what you realized correctly is that when somebody says something like "everybody on this earth is so conformist! I will study metaphysics so I can reach god to then stop doing metaphysics for good", the real reason they say this, is because if you are a closeted autistic person, the world is cruel to you and nobody seems to understand you which makes you want to escape to some fantasy of absolute Truth or something with the hope of finally being free.
When you realize why people are cruel to you and learn to accept yourself, suddenly reality doesn't seem so bad. This seems to have led you to your insight.
Notice that in both scenarios, metaphysics is something to be escaped. This is wrong. Metaphysics is the key to infinite consciousness for the autistic person. This is because "recognizing a fundamental pattern of reality", "everything fell into place" and "self-reflection" is metaphysics.
The purpose of the autistic person is to accumulate a gigantic library of patterns from reality and recognizing them in the lives (or businesses for example) of other people who are blind to these kinds of patterns. This is what contemplation is. This is what {love, consciousness, survival, ugly, beauty, truth, responsibility, knowledge, reality, god, the absolute, and so on} is. It is a unique collection of patterns from the universe. 

@PenguinPablo @Leo Gura Have you tried tracking down autistic girls with similar special interests as you?
What you need to understand is that the rules of dating change completely when you are non-symbolic.
First, you need to stop trying to make symbol-oriented people (normies, conformists) like you. They will always think that something is off about you no matter how hard you try to mask.
Learning "game" is only going to cause you to mask more and as a result cause extreme suffering that can't be cured with any spirituality. The only cure is learning to live true to your neurodivergency which I call "glowing up".
What you need to start doing is tracking down other non-symbolic (non-conformist) people. This is not trivial since they usually isolate just as much as you, however they do have the same amount of desire for connection, they just prefer a less in quantity but deeper connections in contrast to symbolic people.
The reason why symbol oriented people socialize so much is because their relationships are shallow, simple and based in small talk and affirmations. These kinds of interactions cost next to no energy, which is why they seem to have unlimited social batteries. (However, when non-symbolic people try to emulate these kinds of relationships, they expend a ton of energy because their brain is not wired for this symbolic processing.)
If you date a symbolic person you will suffer because every one of their relationships is symbolic in nature and therefore shallow. It is impossible for you to become truly intimate with a purely symbolic person if you are non-symbolic.
This is the underlying reason for the notion of "I have realized that women can never truly satisfy me". If you are non-symbolic, and you have only ever dated symbolic people (or been in ambiguous relationships with someone who is non-symbolic), you develop a heartbreaking outlook on intimacy.
Non-symbolic people are capable to have way deeper relationships but the price they have to pay is that because their relationships are so intense, if they had as many relationships as symbolic people, they would be overwhelmed.
This does not mean that symbolic people aren't capable of intimacy, it just means, they have a symbolic, interpretative, implicit view of intimacy.
It is almost painful how easy it is to connect with and fall in love with someone who is also non-symbolic. It is also painfully easy to make someone who is non-symbolic fall in love with you. If you are both autistic and are both interested in each other's special interests, you already have established intimacy since sharing ideas is intimacy for autistic people.
So when you know how to find and identify them, getting a cute non-symbolic girl to be interested in you is extremely easy.
There is one more important thing you need to understand though. You need to read the rest of the post very carefully now. The thing is, there might very well be already someone like this in your life that fits all the criteria. However, you might not have considered her yet since "she seems to not give you signals" or something.
The important thing to understand is that being non-symbolic means not being able to recognize and give signals. It also means being unsure about the status of the relationship. This uncertainty can turn your life into hell for long periods of time and literally lead you into a mental hospital if you are not careful. I'm speaking of experience (didn't happen to me).
For a non-symbolic person, determining the status of a relationship (friend or romantic relationship etc.) is extremely hard. When they are intimate with someone who is non-symbolic, they don't see this threshold of "still friendship", "romantic relationship". What this means is that it is not rarely the case that two autistic people can be in love with each other and nothing happens because they both don't understand what needs to happen in order for the relationship to become serious, because both are unable to understand each other's signals.
So when dealing with non-symbolic people, be careful of thoughts like "I hope they understand my signals". Because the answer will almost always be no. The tragic thing is that she might do the same and send you signals that you don't understand. This scenario is just tragic and might lead to both of you ending up in a mental hospital because of mutually obsessive limerance I'm not even joking.
When dealing with non-symbolic people, BEING EXPLICIT is your friend. If you are interested, TELL THEM. If you want clarity over the status of the relationship ASK THEM EXPLICITLY. Otherwise, they will never know and even get the chance to fall in love with you since if you only send signals they don't pick up on, they will think "I'm sad that he seems to not be interested in me".
One last thing: The reason why non-symbolic people don't have the idea to be explicit in the first place even though it can save you so much trouble in life, you can't even imagine it (literally all it takes to have a happy ever after is to tell someone non-symbolic you know that you are interested who just simply hasn't considered you as a romantic partner yet and is open to it and happy about you are being explicit. Often all it takes is giving them something explicit to get their gears turning.) is because symbolic people are often confused and irritated when given explicit information.
Non-symbolic people will rarely judge you for being explicit. Quite the contrary. For them, explicit information is like a raft in an endless ambiguous sea of symbols and implicit information. 

I acknowledge my logical error. I think at the end, I'm agreeing with you. I do think that these 8+ distinctions are illusory, but I am saying, that these are the only distictions necessary to lead to existence.
I have started to watch the video "The Crystal of Eternity & its finite archetypes" and I absolutely love it so far. It seems Bernardo Kastrup is MY GUY. My impulse now is that I want to get my theory to a spot where there are no conflicts with his model, so it can be a fluid extension of his ideas.
I like his point: "Every analytic philosopher [...] starts by conceding the existence of spacetime." and "you can not speak coherently in an internal consistent way without that presupposition". The difference is that I'm saying, that spacetime is not the only thing that is assumed, there are at least 6 more things. Also, I would go a step further and say that since without the 8+ presuppositions, conceiving reality is not possible, it also follows that existence is not possible without them. 
I love the concept of the crystal, and it fits perfectly into my theory. I also like the allegory of the cylinder. It seems that my Fragment is the set of all dualistic projections that come from the crystal. In my theory, the Fragment has separated from the absolute, but it is at the same time not really separate and not really fragmented (if it is the only Fragment that exists, there is no counterpart, so it is not a Fragment, yet it is a Fragment because there is a counterpart, which is the Absolute, but the Absolute does not exist, since it is beyond existence and non-existence. But at the same time there is no existence beyond the Absolute and so on... I think this is really nice strange-loop imagery).
The crystal seems to mean the infinite counterpart of the finite Fragment in the absolute. With the rest of the Absolute being all the ideas that can not be thought under the physical constraints of this universe.
I think this is really beautiful and it works really well on the symbolic level, with both the fragment and the crystal pointing to some mineral, symbolizing their unity and how matter arises from them, but with the crystal being the more "ideal" (purity of the crystal, transparency), infinite (infinite reflections inside) version, while the Fragment implies it is incomplete, finite and not whole.

Here is what epistemic responsibility really means. It means asking the following questions:
Why are there so many emotionally broken people on this forum? Why is it necessary for us to do hundreds of hours of meditating, hundreds of hours of contemplating and hundreds of hours of shadow work, to even just get a glimpse of what peace and healing might look like? If everyone on this earth needs to spend this much energy to even come close to any state of healing, wouldn't this imply that those on this planet who do none of this work would need to be extra fucked tortured souls? If this is the case, what is with all these normies who just go around carelessly in life and seem to have fun and be happy even though they don't have a phd in self-help? Are they secretly all deeply broken and in agonizing pain all the time; but they just all somehow decided to pretend this is not the case? To me this sound like a moon landing conspiracy to be frank. @Leo Gura when you accuse me of being someone with a hammer to whom everything automatically looks like a nail, you are accusing me of epistemic irresponsibility. In reality, my epistemic responsibility is telling me to identify Actualized.org as what it is. A nail. If I would deny this, that would be epistemic irresponsibility.
If it looks like a nail, tastes like a nail, feels like a nail and is made from the same material as a nail, it is a nail. Everything else is epistemic irresponsibility.
Edit: It is important to note here that I don't see the neurotypical-neurodivergent differentiation as binary. When I say "all nerds are neurodivergent" I'm not saying that every nerd necessarily qualifies for a formal diagnosis. What I am saying is that the attributes that underly neurodivergence are the exact same ones as the attributes that underly the "nerd" archetype.

I had this thought yesterday: Being a furry is genius form the perspective of the dao. According to Laozi, weakness is power and power is weakness. If you think about is it's true. The most alpha males you see are actually always the most fragile people.
Dressing up as a cute furry animal that goes around and hugs people is incredibly powerful bc it is so simple. If you have the furrsona of some animal that just exists to be cute and nothing else, that you can just switch on once in a while, is extremely grounding. What this means paradoxically is that you can strive to even more power than any alpha male since you have this regular grounding mechanism in your life that makes you routinely detach from your power and therefore prevents attachment to this power.
This matches with experience. Furries are often people with very high salaries. I want you to look up the price of a furry suit (they are almost always custom-made).

I think "alien" is an interesting concept. Novelty implies something graspable. Something that completes you and extends your existence. Alien however is so utterly separate from you that its existence negates your existence rather than completes it.
I think the thing that comes very close to an alien for us is someone who's whole existence is conformity. In order to exist, they need to sync themselves up to some identity from outside. Everything they do is a symbolic action with the purpose of signalling something to others so that they can sync up to that. A bit like in a beehive or a swarm or something. When you tell them they should analyze one of their thoughts, they become confused because they don't have any thoughts. When you tell them to analyze an object, they become confused because analysis does not have symbolic meaning. All they ever do is sync up and signal.
Ironically, I think that this stereotypical alien with super advanced technology and knowledge about everything would be way less alien to us than this human I just described.

This is a really cool observation. Let's unpack this with the theory of the Fragment.
Stimming is something that people do who are non-Simultaneity of Spirit. My current definition of autism is: low Simultaneity of Spirit and high Sequenciality of Spirit.
But it's also something that HSPs do and my definiton is: low Simultaneity of Spirit and high Sensibility of Spirit.
So when you see someone stimming they are either autistic, HSP, or a hybrid. Spoiler: I suspect most people on this forum to be hybrids.
When you have high Simultaneity, you are really good at processing a lot of information at the same time. This is done through the symbol and conformity. If a Simultaneity-being is in a stadium for example, there is a shit ton of stimulus. Yet the being knows exactly what do without processing every stimulus individually, bc they just do what everyone does and "sync up" (conformity).
When you have low Simultaneity, you don't have this efficient way of processing and struggle in environments with a lot of parallel stimulus. This is why you prefer simple singular stimuli which is what stimming is. Your advantage is that you are very honest and uncorruptible, since corruption requires conformity. Also, only low-Simultaneity-beings have the ability to critique culture and go against the norms, which is what a sadhu does.
Sequentiality- and Sensibility-beings feel affirmed in their existence through stimming like humming, but for different reasons. This is where it gets super subtle.
Seq's hum because a hum is a sound and a sound is a wave and a wave is Spaciousness+Sequenciality. Sen's hum because a hum is the change of pressure of molecules which causes these molecules to interact and therefore sense each other. More simply: a hum is a sensation. The reason why the Spirit (Atman) needs to engage in it's fragments is because there is no existence beyond the fragment. Boyond the Fragment, there is only emptiness (Anatman) non-existence. If the Atman and the Anatman are not in balance with each other, it leads to death and suffering.

Dyslexia is low Sequentiality of Spirit. Writing is a manifestation of Sequenciality. This is why they tend to switch letters for example.
Dyslexic people tend to have high Wholeness of Spirit. When they look at the text, they fail to see the details, but they excel at seeing the content of the text as a whole. Hermeneutics tells us that without the whole, understanding is not possible.
Autism is high Sequentiality of Spirit. Analysis is Sequentiality plus Difference.
Autism is low Simultainity of Spirit. People with high Simultainity of Spirit tend to recieve multiple bits of information at the same time, conveyed through the symbol and learned through synchronicity. Autistic people tend to be overwhelmed when met with a lot of stimulation since they process one bit of information at a time. This means that the brain of an autistic person is more CPUey and the brain of a non-autistic person is more GPUey.
Edit: Since language is both symbolic and sequencial, it explains why LLMs are most effective when CPUs work together with GPUs. It also explains why some extremely autistic people can't talk, while other autistic people are hyper verbal if they are also high Simultainity of spirt. Jordan Peterson and Ben Shapiro are perfect examples of this.
ADHD is Impulse of Spirit. 
HSP (eso-head) is Interaction of Spirit. This is a tough one. My claim is that subjectivity and emotion is interaction. If you think about it, there is no phenomenon without something interacting.

Okay let's answer to the objection: "The map is not the territory, therefore there can not be a theory of everything". (MINT)
What this means specifically is "the word is not the existence it points to".
An example of someone who falls into this trap is someone who reads a description of god experience and then mistakes that description for god without seeking it out in contemplation.
The Existence Space 
It seems that there is a space of all possible "ways" to exist. This space seems to be some weird mathematical object that I'm trying to describe. My theory is, that this space has already been described with language, with each word pointing to some spot in this space. Chopping up this space is arbitrary, and it is a trap to believe that any "chopping" is absolute. However, if you want to learn through distinctions, you will need to chop in some way since you can't differentiate between different existences without the respective concepts, so without concepts, existence is just one big blob. 
The moment you realize that a word is a pointer and the point of the word is not that you stop at the word but to follow where it leads you, you have made a big step towards becoming immune to the MINT fallacy.
Now we're getting technical
So what would it mean to have a theory of everything? This is what I mean when I say TOE:
A TOE is a theory that gives a method on how to reach every point in this existence space.
If this existence space is a vector space, what this means technically is, that a TOE would have to provide a basis of that space, ideally an orthogonal one.
It was never the claim that my TOE would substitute existing itself and this is also not necessary. It is a tool to map existence so you can increase awareness on how you exist in the here and now.
What is Mathematics?
You might say: "The moment you said something about a mathematical object you've lost me. Math is just mental masturbation. It's not empirical".
Here is where it gets really interesting. According to my theory, empiricism is a system that assumes, the fragment of Interaction can't be omitted. This is a trap, since it is only one fragment of existence.
Mathematics and therefore rationalism do not fall into this trap, which is why they are superior. When you say "mathematics is just a castle that has no basis in direct existence" (I'm trying to avoid the word experience since it assumes Interaction) I say this is sentence is exactly false.
I agree that it can be a trap to be so in awe of the beauty of such a castle that you never ask what it actually relates to in reality. So my approach to Mathematics is to primarily investigate the foundations of such castles instead. What exactly does it mean that an axiom is "obviously true"? What makes a good axiom?
Hear me out. My take is that the reason why an axiom seems obviously true to you is because you and the axiom are both fragments, and you recognize each other. So when your spirit sees a good axiom it says to itself: "If this is false, then I don't exist". 
If this isn't beautiful, I don't know what is.
I believe that all axioms in mathematics can be derived from the existence of some set of fragments, of which my 8 are a subset. Further, I claim that it can be proven, that these fragments need to exist, since if they don't, reality would collapse. There is the sketch of the proof at the beginning of the tread.
I believe that all good assumptions in every other field can also be validated with the fragments. Because of the fragment of Wholeness, every fragment is relevant at every level of granularity of reality. So it seems, the mathematical description of the Whole lies in the fractal.
SCIENCE IS SO BACK

I am currently studying the purpose of different peculiarities of the mind and this includes paranoia.
I came to the conclusion that it is dangerous to tell people "just look at the facts, you are hallucinating".
I believe, that paranoia is a warning mechanism that should not be ignored and explained away.
My theory is, that paranoia is your unconscious trying to communicate with you. If you analyze it's content on basis of facts, you will not be able to decipher it's meaning. A delusional paranoid thought is just as non-factual as a dream, and it contains just as much information about yourself.
If you want to get to the bottom of a delusional paranoid thought, you have to analyze it like you would analyze a dream. Look for symbols. What does each element represent in your life? What might a poisoned toothbrush symbolize in your life for example? I want you to do exactly what is frowned upon in epistemics: Project
"But when you project, the information is biased from your own lens!" Yes this is exactly the goal. When you project, you can learn valuable things about yourself through analyzing that projection, since the projection is a part of you. This is also the point of tarot, astrology, etc. and the reason why this kind of esotericism, dreams and hallucinations don't contain facts or "real" information, because it is not the purpose of these things to carry information. The goal was never to learn about planets, it was always to learn about yourself.
To me, it kinda seems like you don't feel comfortable with city life. Being overwhelmed is common for neurodivergent people like HSPs. Maybe you should move to a quieter place with more fresh air or something. Just a suggestion.
What is important to understand is, that paranoia is a symptom. If you just treat the symptom and not the cause, you won't heal.

First I want to say, I'm not an expert and this does not substitute for medical advice. I advise you to seek professional help. However, I want to add that a "professional" can still be incompetent and not reach the core of the problem.
What you are describing sounds like alternating mania (you feel like you are on top of the world) and depression (you feel like shit) which is called manic depression (bipolar).
I'm not saying that you qualify for a diagnosis but what I am saying, is that what you experience is the same mechanism behind what bipolar people experience, even if it is not as extreme for you as for someone who is diagnosed.
It is important for you to understand that you cannot meditate yourself out of a personality disorder. I believe that a personality disorder is the natural reaction to an unbearable life situation, not a "bug" of the body or a cancer if you will. It has a purpose.
If somebody gives you the order to carry two 50 kilo bags of concrete for 20 meters and your muscles give in after 10 meters, it is not because there is something wrong with you. It's a healthy reaction of the body to make you stop abusing yourself. Being enlightened while carrying the bags in not going to do shit. Your attitude to pain will maybe change, but your muscles will still give in. All enlightenment will do is distract you from doing what you need to do which is to quit the job.
So what is the purpose of the manic depression?
Depression is the psychological equivalent of your muscles giving in. It is your body having an intervention with your mind. It is a message to you from the body which is: What you are doing right now in your life is not right for you.
When you are depressed you cannot move and are forcefully separated from your life situation/routine, which is a good thing, since the goal is to separate anyway, at least on the long run. The depression also gives you time to think and reflect about your life situation.
During this time, you are supposed to activate the default mode network (ask an LLM what the DMN does), let your mind wander and think about your values and your life and how the former aligns with the latter. Just try to avoid falling into negative spirals. The fact that you are neurotic in a depression is also a good thing. Neuroticism means focussing on the bad which is exactly what you are supposed to do when your life is shit, so you know what is wrong and what you need to change.
The purpose of the energy in the manic state is to use it to then actually do the steps necessary to change your life. Quit your job, exmatriculate, etc. If you instead use this energy on distractions like meditating, watching actualized.org or doubling down on your current life situation, you will just end up falling into the hole again. If you never realize that your life situation (this could be unsuitable job/education, toxic family, toxic friends etc.) is the problem, you will be stuck in this cycle forever.
You can be thankful that you developed manic depression. Some people don't tend to not get any personality disorder from excessive stress and this includes me (I think Leo is also a candidate). This is called functional depression ("just push through" attitude). It is good for succeeding in capitalism, but it is awful for your health. It took me too long to change my lifestyle because of this and I suffer chronic pain as a result.
The last thing you need to understand is neurodiversity. Maybe you read this and say "sure my life is tough but isn't is supposed to be like this? Also, my life is great I have nothing to complain about". What you need to understand is that "a good life" for a neurotypical person looks entirely different from an authentic life of a neurodivergent person.
I have made a lot of posts about this already. I suggest you to read:
This is also relevant:
 

I would define insanity like this:
"Person is insane" is true if and only if they are far away from the norm and have resulting identity problems with it.
Sane is not somebody who is logical or something, but simply someone who is not insane. That's it.
"not being able to differentiate", "not being able to apply logic", "not being able to pick up on social cues", "only living in anticipation", "not being able to be disciplined" make you drift away from the norm, but they don't make you insane. 
If you develop so much insecurity around it that your Self collapses in on itself, then and only then you have insanity.
This means that Hyper sanity does not mean that someone is a super genius scientist, rather it would be someone who has 100% self-acceptance regardless of "ability".

@oOo Thanks for the reply. I assume you don't have adhd (volonic)? Because if you do, I want to warn you about people you've mentioned like Marcus Aurelius and David Goggins. A lot of the things these people say are poisonous for volonics. I've said something like this before on this forum but telling a volonic person to be disciplined is like telling someone with no arms to swim. 
Note that I'm not against telling people with no arms to learn to swim. But one has to understand that this is a dangerous practice and that when you do, you should absolutely not compare your swimming abilities to normal swimmers.
I want to use this opportunity to talk more about the volonic and avolonic modes of existence in the ontomodality model in a contemplative way. (Sorry it's a bit messy, that's simply because ontomodality is a new theory) 
 
Theory
What is the volonic mode of existence? The volonic mode of existence is "existence as (autonomous) will".  According to my model, "will" is a manifestation (mode) of existence. A volonic being is a being that is sensitive to the volonic mode of existence and insensitive to the avolonic mode of existence. A volonic being acting out (note that not all modes can be "acted out", since acting out itself is volonic) the volonic mode of existence (simply put, engage in autonomous will) will exist as resonance (fulfillment, love, existence, energy). A volonic being existing as the avolonic mode (simply put, outwardly imposed will) will exist as alienation (apathy, fear, non-existence, depletion) Example
The best way to understand the volonic mode of existence is to imagine a perfectly volonic being as a thought experiment. This being would constantly have ideas and impulses that imply action. Engaging in these ideas is what gives this being existence (through resonance).  Not being able to act these impulses or being expected to execute on other peoples ideas leads to alienation (non-existence, fear, etc.). This means to do things other people tell the volonic to do or do things that the volonic person thinks they need to do but don't actually want to do is like committing suicide since suicide is just a manifestation of the more fundamental alienation which is a manifestation of the even more fundamental non-existence. Another helpful way is to learn through distinction and comparing it with the same thought experiment regarding a perfectly avolonic being. An avolonic being experiences alienation when they don't get instructions and if they are asked to be creative. They are only at resonance, when they get told exactly what to do. If you hear someone say "without my job, my life would not have any substance (substance in this context is a manifestation of existence) and I wouldn't know what to do" you automatically know they are avolonic. At the other hand, If you hear someone say something like “I felt suffocated (suffocation is a really nice example for a manifestation of non-existence) doing my job and realized I need to be my own boss” you know they are volonic.  You might realize that I’m struggling to describe my model in the English language. That’s because no word in any language seems ever not to be a manifestation of existence or non-existence and therefore emptiness. 
So as an example the sentence “when you don’t have adhd and you are asked to be creative, you get anxious”  can be translated into ontomodality language like this: “1. an avolonic being 2. being asked to engage in 3. the volonic mode of existence 4. is alienation”, which is the same thing as “1. avolonic existence 2. avolonic existence 3. volonic existence 4. avolonic non-existence” which is the same thing as “existence existence existence non-existence” which is the same thing as “existence non-existence” which is at the end of the day the same thing as “sunyata” So this is not a bug but a feature. The model explains exactly how language and therefore human knowledge ultimately collapses into emptiness. This is why my theory is the ultimate theory of non-dual epistemology I believe. I am aware that I need to show this for other examples too, especially ones that are unrelated to neurodivergence.
I want to add that I want to get a lot more precise with this in the future. It seems like a completely new avenue in linguistics, language philosophy and deconstruction. But there already exist way too many applications of the theory for a single individual to handle in a lifetime. I honestly would be thankful for some help on the long run.
As I said, some of these insights are a bit sloppy which is because the theory is new, I am just one person and I’m having some of them as I go and therefore haven’t had time to flesh them out yet lol. 
I wanted to apply this to "discipline" but the non-dual epistemology insight was more important. Maybe I will talk about discipline when I have recharged, I just want to post this now.

About the insane Social-Symbolic-Alien Language non-Truth-Sensitive-People use
Do you also hate making presents? 
Since forever, my family hates on me for sucking at making presents. And I beat myself up for it. They say I'm not empathic enough, too egoistic bla bla bla. My best explanation was, that I'm an only child and I've never properly learned it.
Theory break: According to me, there exists a kind of neurodiversity I call "Truth-Sensitive-Person" (TSP). I believe, that TSPs exist on a spectrum between object-sensitive-person (OSP) and subject-sensitive-person (SSP) (this model is a work in progress. In previous posts, I used TLP). What all TSPs have in common is a love for absolute truth and a disdain for and a lack of understanding of social truths. More on that below.
I have an alternative explanation now. My grandma told me that she is always super thrilled and happy when she receives little gifts like cake from her cleaning lady, and she is disappointed that me and my mom (also SSP) would not engage in little acts of affection like these too.
What I've noticed is that this (happiness about gifts from others for their own sake) is not the case for me and my mom at all. Which means that even if we were lazy and egoistic (which we are not) we are at least not hypocrites. In fact, we are always annoyed by gifts from other people, when they are not useful to us.
You might now say: "Of course you are. Why would you be happy to receive a gift that you have no use for?" 
If you believe this logic, you might be on the TSP spectrum. Because for a non-TSP, this logic does not apply at all. When they receive a gift from someone they love, they are super thrilled if that gift is well-meant.
The crucial thing to understand, and it is hard to understand for TSPs, is that non-TSPs are not thrilled about the present itself. They get most of their pleasure from the gesture. The present is a symbol to them.
This is because non-TSPs speak a completely batshit insane kind of social-symbolic-alien language they picked up and learned passively through conformity like their native language and are super confused about anyone who struggles to speak it, like TSPs, who only care about information (or spiritual truth if you are HSP) and struggle to pick up on these social symbols.
Expecting a TSP to implicitly understand this social symbolic language is like starting to talk to some random person on the street in chinese and then being mad and confused, if they don't understand the fuck you're saying. And non-TSPs do that all the damn time! This leads TSPs to develop social anxiety, low self-esteem, etc.
People who are TSPs naturally struggle with social situations, especially competitive ones because of this. They will genuinely start believing they have to learn tens of hours of pickup theory and do thousands of approaches to be successful without ever understanding, that they are not meant to engage in this alien language, the same way someone with an IQ of 80 is not meant to study thermodynamics. (If you think you might be TSP, you don't have to worry, just seek out other TSPs irl. They understand you perfectly and vice versa)
I want to give another example from my life. I once dated a girl with heavy ADHD. This made her relatable to me, but she is not a TSP.
One day, she was kind of in a bad mood, and she asked me: "Do you think I drink too much water?".
I answered by dumping her with all the information I knew about the topic "how much water is too much water".
After that, she was pissed and said: "What does any of this have to do with the question?".
I was stumped. What did I do wrong? You have any ideas?
I thought, that she wanted to know if she drinks too much water. Big mistake. See the mistake? If you don't or struggle to answer, then maybe you are a TSP too.
It took me some time to figure it out, but I think I got it. She did not want to know if she drinks too much water. She wanted to know if I think that she drinks too much.
She just wanted me to affirm that I accept her for drinking so much water.
When you dig deep enough you will realize, what she actually asked was: "Do you approve of my existence?".
This is at the fundamental reason for all social interactions between non-TSPs. This is why they need social interactions, because without them, they wouldn't know whether they exist.
To TSPs, this logic makes zero sense. When we are faced with questions or insecurities regarding our existence, we would NEVER even THINK about going to a cleaning lady for affirmations (nothing against cleaning ladies). Because what the fuck would they know about existence???? What we do instead is we study philosophy if we are more on the autism side, meditate when we are more on the HSP side and do both if we are hybrids.
In case this did not get clear enough: The reason why TSPs are here on this forum is because we are genetically unable to be satisfied with answers about our own existence from our cleaning ladies.
Or positively reframed: We are not stupid enough to believe that receiving gifts from our cleaning lady is sufficient to affirming our existence. 

Yeah the problem is, when you train your mind to believe that everything is consciousness, that this will bias your mind to turn inwards.
"Why would I help this person materially if I could just imagine helping them, which would be the same thing?"
At the end, you will not be more right when you believe in philosophical idealism oder more right when you believe in philosophical materialism, the only thing that is shifting is what you tend to focus on. (Meditation, thinking, lucid dreaming, fantacising, isolation, etc. vs acting, socializing, political activism, improving material conditions etc.)
This is not an error. You need to focus on some narrative in order to act and make a decision. You can also empty your cup and act intuetively, but if you are here you have very much intact reasoning skills, it would be a waste not to use them at all. Also your intuition is biased towards your beliefs anyways.
Learning about marxism has provided me with an extremely important insight. It's that this notion, common in spiritual circles that "you can't change the world but at least you can change yourself through discovering god" is complete bullshit and capitalist propaganda.
No matter where you look in history, the concept of god was always used by the ruling class to make the oppressed class turn inwards and "forget" they are oppressed. "The reason you are doing poorly is because you are not enlightened enough!" 
I want you to research the horrendous conditions, the tibetan serfs were faced with under the supposedly so loving Lama system before the Chinese communists liberated them.
The thing is, this has never changed. It only has become more subtle, and this community is the proof.

"All is Love. 😊All is Love. 😊All is Love. 😊All is Love. 😊All is Love. 😊All is Love. 😊All is Love. 😊All is Love. 😊All is Love. 😊All is Love. 😊All is Love. 😊All is Love. 😊All is Love. 😊All is Love. 😊All is Love. 😊All is Love. 😊" - Xonas Pitfall
"Hate is just love taking out the trash, don't you know." - gettoefl
The ideology that @Xonas Pitfall and @gettoefl are promoting can be broadly categorized as "right hand path" (RHP).
The idea that if you put love as the highest value, it is possible to avoid harm is wrong. However I understand why it seems so bulletproof. After all how could anyone harm someone when their highest value is love?
But you don't understand how self-decieved people can be. There are plenty of atrocities that were supposedly committed out of love. "I snipe gazan children in the head out of love towads holy isrealites" give me a break.
So how does this deception work? 
There are some moments in life where cruelty is just the best option. Maybe you've never had this in your life but there exist people who are like parasites that will just keep exploiting you as long as you act selflessly towards them. And as soon as you try to turn your back towards them, they will play the victim and look at you with puppy eyes.
Everyone who has met this kind of person who is not a right hand path person will tell you the same thing: Just pull the trigger. Be cruel. Cut them from your life. If you are a devotee of the right hand path (RHP), this will be very tough for you (since you value love, kindness and this shit) and you will try to weasel yourself out of the situation. 
This is really hard since these kinds of people will not just leave you the fuck alone. The big danger here is this: A lot of RHP people, who intuitively know that the cruel thing is the right thing to do, bc it is, will do that anyways, but than somehow frame it in a way that makes it seem to themselves that they actually upheld their values. For example they might cut the person out and say "I did it out of love! This will teach them to be independent! They are actually better off without my help!".
This does not have to be the case at all, like the person could be completely fucked without the help but the RHP will always find a way to bend reality to convince them they are still a good devotee. This is a bit of a niche example but this mechanism happens extremely often. Just look at the heinous things mormon people are capable of. It's also very important to understand, that "high consciousness" RHPs are not immune to this at all.
"Hate heals, you should try it sometime
Strive for Peace with acts of war
The beauty of death we all adore
I have no faith distracting me
I know why your prayers will never be answered"
Left hand path people (LHP) (satanists etc.) are the ones who smell and expose this bullshit. Their way of coping with cruelty and hate is actually brilliant which is they promote it into the devine realm. This allows them to commit cruel acts in a ritualistic way. Notice that I'm not saying, that satanists are necessarily cruel more often than RHPs (In reality, the opposite is the case actually). But WHEN they are cruel, they can do it with integrity and in a pure state of consciousness, without any delusions attached.

@Lyubov  It's helpful you mentioned that these labels were harmful to your awakening, not harmful to your survival.
First I want to remind you of the approach "figure out which traits you have without labeling yourself".
But I also want to defend labels for a sec. Of course I know that identifying yourself with any concept is harmful for an awakening. However, even though buddhists now that, they will still be buddhists bc how else are they supposed to build a sangha if they can't say they're buddhists? 
The Moment you realize that labels are just a language game that we play out of convenience and don't penetrate the self, you'll be able to call yourself what you want, as long as you remove all the fluff again as soon as you are doing the practices. And do you really want to tell me you want to practice every waking hour? Gimme a break.
So why are labels useful in the first place? They are effective. If I see a Nazi charge towards a minority I will not politely tell them: "You are being very unconstitutional you. Don't make me write an angry letter with plenty of exclamationpoints to your mom" like a god damn liberal. I also I will not stand there and empty my fucking cup and wait until laser beams shoot from my eyes.
Very quickly, I will notice that I'm a communist and remember how communists deal with nazis.
Likewise, when your grandma tells you: "Why are you on the internet so much? Why aren't you enjoying your youth? You are thinking too much about abstract topics, I feel sorry for you. If I was your age again, I would be travelling around the world" you don't want to think to youself: "She is right I AM pretty weird. Why is that? Am I living my life wrong? Am I wasting my youth? Am I wasting my potential?", instead you can, again, quickly remember, that you are ND and she is projecting. Then you can politely tell her "I know how I want to live my life, thank you".
Edit: Just in case that wasn't obvious enough, yes this was an actual conversation I just had with my grandma and yes, the first reaction was the one I used to have which led to low self esteem that was indeed not curable through any spiritual practices (the logic, if I realize I'm god, then I will accept myself is complete bullshit) and yes the second reaction is the reaction that I had today and yes, I've never felt more confident and self-assured in my entire life not even close.