Something Funny

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Posts posted by Something Funny

  6. Posted

    @Leo Gura it's hard to find a good therapist in general, let alone someone to whom I would be able to open up about all of that. 

    Personally, think I am attracted to it because it's so wrong. Because it goes against all of my values. Because it triggers my fears and insecurities. 

    6 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

    It is some mind of self-sabotaging behavior.

    Yeah, no shit, haha.

    But to be honest, I think I am done with it for good this time and am not coming back. Lets hope this will be the case.

     

  9. Posted

    @Leo Gura well, that's the issue, I can't. 

    Whenever I get back to watching porn I tell myself that I am going to watch just quality porn. And there is porn like that, even for free on pornhub.

    But it's always a downward spiral from there to me getting into a really bad place mentally and ending up watching humiliating jois, or cheating porn, or cuckold porn, or some other shit like that, and feeling awful and wanting to "just die already" in the meantime. Every single time it ends like this, with me laying in bed and crying thinking what the fuck is wrong with me.

    So I've came to the conclusion that it's better for me to just quit it altogether. 

  10. Posted · Edited by Something Funny

    @Someone here I don't want anything. I didn't ask for advise here. As I said, thank you for concern, I know you really want to help, but I am fine.

    59 minutes ago, Someone here said:

    As for "I will get a  girlfriend when it's time" part, you are actually comparing yourself to people who have girlfriends. Stop that.

    What is that even supposed to mean? Stop assuming stuff about me.

  12. Posted

    2 minutes ago, Someone here said:

    @Something Funny get a girlfriend.  That's the ONLY long term solution. Its impossible to cut porn and masturbation from your life as long as you are single.

    Thanks, but I refuse to adopt the mindset of "I need another person to live a healthy and happy life". This is such a defeatist attitude. I am going to cur porn out of my life while single. And I didn't says that I will stop masturbating forever. I am just going to work on building amore healthy relationship with it.

    5 minutes ago, Someone here said:

    Are you struggling with finding a girlfriend? 

    I will get a girlfriend when it's time for me to get a girlfriend.

  13. Posted

    26 minutes ago, LastThursday said:

    I would completely disagree that retaining semen improves energy levels. There may be a temporary effect straight after ejaculation, but it's not long lasting. There are no long term biological effects whether you masturbate or not, whether you ejaculate or not.

    I don't know if it's biological or pshychological, or if it's just a placebo effect, but after I don't watch porn and as a result, don't masturbate for a few days I feel noticably more clearminded, positive, eager to work on my life, etc. The same can be said about something like affirmations, it doesn't mean that they are useless. Maybe if I could separate porn and masturbation completely I would notice the same effects, idk. The issue for me is that in 90% of cases one thing leads to another.

     

    30 minutes ago, LastThursday said:

    The psychological aspect can be overblown in my opinion. We're all used to watching films in which people are routinely shot and murdered, even in very mainstream stuff. But most of us can discern that a film is not real life, and we can put it in a box and not let it affect our everyday actions or thoughts. It's no different from porn: we know it's fake and staged, and that the bodies are enhanced, and it's just there to create maximum pleasure in us. Can it warp our view of reality? I'd say yes, but only as much as advertising and social media does, and only if we allow it to. Some people will be more affected than others.

    Depends on what kind of porn you are watching. As I've mentioned in my original post the kinds of porn I watch have gradually changed over years from the most innocent, vanilla stuff in the beginning to much more extreme things. I am especially bothered when I watch all kind of degrading and humiliating porn. It's really addictive and stimulating because it plays on my insecurities, and I feel like it really messes my mind up. I feel awful mentally after watching it and in my "sober" state am completely turned of by it. I've even tried watching some more "conscious" kind of porn videos, but it's never enough and aways escalates back. So I think that for me the best solution it to cut it out of my life completely.

    @Leo Gura okay, sorry, I agree that I've overreacted a bit.

     

  14. Posted

    @Michael Jackson I am not here to make statements about other people like that. He sounds like a nice person. Like I said if Leo or someone else says that they are watching porn and it's totally fine with it, then fine. You do you, I don't care. But it's not nice to make fun of other people who are struggling with this issue for real, just because you haven't experienced it yourself.

    @Osaid I agree, some of the nofap guys are really ideological about it. But as you can see above, even when I make a post sharing my personal struggles, I get the "you are just bullshitting yourself" advise.

    I imagine that if I've made a post about how I am struggling with alcohol and don't seem to be able to have a healthy relationship with it, I wouldn't get this type of response.

    Or heck, even coffee. If I made a post saying how I am addictted to caffeine and how it messes up my health, I still wouldn't get the "you are just bulshitting yourself, take some responsibility bro" advise.

     

  15. Posted · Edited by Something Funny

    @NoSelfSelf I wonder if you would say the same if this was a post about alcohol, because technically it applies to it as well. And look how you have completely ignored my main arguments and focused on masturbation instead, even though I've made it clear that I think a complete abstinence is not a healthy solution for most people.

    It's also funny how you are saying that I should be taking responsiblity isntead of whining about it and yet this is exactly what I am doing, I am taking responsibility and try to find a solution that works for me, and you are criticizing me for it...

  16. Posted

    30 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

    @Something Funny Yeah you are bullshiting yourself ,because you dont make anything a problem because you are the problem, same thing also you trying to not masturbate thinking you are growing you really not, its for self development noobies starting out..it wont turn you into a man or something...nobody is forsing you to do it and calling it an addiction is bs, because you are choosing to spent all that time on it...

    @Osaid sorry, what were you saying? 9_9

  23. Posted

    I've noticed that it has become popular to dismiss this problem, that clearly a lot of people are struggling with as some bullshit, so I wanted to make a post about it.

    Even Leo just laughs about it and has a "I never had a problem with it so it can't be a problem" attitude. But this is just not the case, people are different. Some people can drink alocohol their whole lives in moderation and be totally healthy and functioning humans, while some become alcoholics and ruin their life. Even tolerance of negative health effect of drinking alcohol is probably different among different people.

    Disclaimer

    To clarify, I am not saying that masturbation, or even porn is inherently evil. If you have a healthy relationship with it then fine, good for you. But it's not the case for everyone.

    Although I still think that it's silly to assume that you can just watch porn your whole life and that it will have no effect on your mind whatsoever. Leo is big on reprogramming the subconscious mind with affirmations, visualizations, and such. Well, you can also reprogram your mind in a negative way through the posts you read on social media, music you are listening, ads you are watching, people you are hanging out with, and yes, porn.

    I am also not saying that you will become a superman buy doing nofap for 90 days. But I think it's safe to say that most men will feel better and more energetic/lively if they retain their semen for a week or two. I've clearly noticed positive effects in my personal experience and as Leo says "experience is king".

    The issue I have with porn

    1) Insecurities and negative beliefs. Porn has definitely imprinted quite a few insecurities and negative beliefs into my mind:

    - about my penis size

    - about what's considered attractive and desirable

    - about women

    - about what is considered "cool" and who I need to be

    Now I will have to spend quite a bit of time unwiring all that crap.

    2) For me porn got progressively more and more perverted. I didn't start masturbating to porn at all. The first time I masturbated I masturbated to Naruto fan fiction, it wasn't even that erotic and the hottest moment there was character kissing. I didn't even know what masturbation was at that time, it just kind of happened naturally, lol.

    But of course it didn't stay this way forever. Over the years it had to escalate to more and more extreme stuff to keep feeling pleasurable to me. It has gotten to a point of me watching porn that honestly disgusts me in my "sober state". It affects my mind very negatively and makes me depressed and nihilistic. And whenever I try to get back to watching more vanilla porn it always escalates back because it's never enough.

    3) Whenever I watch porn I do genuinely feel like shit. My productivity always drops and I turn on a vegetable mod. All I am interested in those time is watching porn, scrolling reddit, watching tv shows, and binge eating. I feel like it turns me into a retarded animal.

    Solution

    No, I don't think that total abstinence is a legitimate solution for most people. But I think that reducing masturbation to a few times a week, or whatever schedule fits the best to you personally, and doing it consciously, without any porn can be.

    This sounds like a good, healthy approach.

    Also, as a side note regarding semen retention, I think it's absolutely fucked up that in our modern culture not jerking off for 14 days is considered somehow very hard and extreme. How can you claim to have any kind of self-control and discipline if you can't deal with some sexual urges here and there? This is honestly the main reason why I think doing classical nofap challenge can be beneficial. Not because it will grant you some magical super powers but because you will at least now that you are the master of your mind and emotions, instead of being their slave. It develops discipline that can then be used in every area of life.

     

  24. Posted

    For example right now. Just focus on working out regularly, eating according to the diet plan and limiting crap like reddit, and porn.

    Don't worry about programming, don't worry about social skills, don't worry about language, don't worry about toastmasters, don't worry about dating, don't worry about starting a blog or a social media account, don't worry about doing parkour, don't worry about travelling.

    FOCUS ON ONE THING!

    Vik, you are always afraid that you are too late, that you need to urgently make up for the wasted time, but it only causes you to waste more time, can't you see that?!

    You are still relatively young, you still have time, you can afford do things step by step and gradually transform your life into something amazing. You are not missing out, you have plenty of time, everything is fine!

    Add one building block at a time and you will actually progress faster than ever!