A new chapter has opened
A new chapter has openedSomething must have been wrong with me that day.
But I was absolutely delighted to be in your company for some reason.
You were mesmerizing to me.
I felt like writing a love letter all over your thread.
Your response kinda surprised me because it felt like we both wanted the same thing at the same time.
Taking responsibility for how I feel
Taking responsibility for how I feelI notice in the present moment I allow outside sources to make me feel a certain way.
Had a light bulb moment, I can take responsibility of how I feel right now!
Not adding this for any other reason than to remind you that you can do this too 🙂.
A web developer without a degree?
A web developer without a degree?You don't need a degree if you have a strong portfolio.
Employers don't care about degrees, what they care about is your track record of results. If you can show them amazing results, they will hire you.
Put all your effort into building an amazing portfolio.
Nothing beats an amazing portfolio of work. If your portfolio is good enough you will be hired immediately.
I have lost many friend due to daily posting of political post on social media.
I have lost many friend due to daily posting of political post on social media.Your hatred will destroy you.
That is what's happening.
How can you claim to be spiritual when you hate things so actively?
Realize that you are being religious like your friends, just in a different way.
Attacking things that are unjust does not solve the problem of injustice. You must realize this is a foolish way to go about it. You have to be constructive and practice Spiral Wizardry when dealing with people are lower levels of development than you. Otherwise you create evil.
I don't want to fake masculinity in my relationship anymore
I don't want to fake masculinity in my relationship anymoreMost girls are attratcted to the stereotype man that society sells. We are all conditioned in some way by this subconscious stereotypes. Thats why she liked the masculine man. It approves her subconscious ideal. Also, thats the first image you sold her, she thinks thats the real you, but its not, cuz is manipulation. No one is macho in its core. People are just faking it so much that it becomes normal. They are numb.
See, a relationship is about relating to something. Your relationship with her, is she relating to that image she liked. If you drop that mask, she will loose attraction. So dont expect to make her like your authentic self.
I lived all these scenarios with my last gf as well. I dont care if girls or men dont like me aswell for being authentic. It will cost your attraction to many, but you will gain personal satisfaction, joy, peace and self love. It takes courage to do this, cuz a part of you want the lower needs to be satisfied. You decide. Time will teach you. In the future, just be you and attract an authentic girl aswell. Their are many, it just takes the same vibration to see it.
Even if you attract a hot girl with manipulation, notice the relationship doesnt have the same level of quality of that of an authentic one. The closer you are to your truth, the more you attract a girl as same, an the same quality of both will be in the relationship. This might be a little harder to manifest or find, but its way better or staying alone. Everyone is selling themselves short for quick love and sex, which create alot of side problems.
How do I be sexy
How do I be sexyThis question already suggests you failed in communicating with her man-to-woman.
It should be clear to a woman within 3 minutes of talking to you that you will bang her if she is ever alone in a room with you. That INTENT is crucial. You obviously didn't display this intent and now you're trying to creep your way into her panties, and she will probably reject it because you made it so creepy and awkward.
You cannot creep your way into a girl's panties. You must be clear about what you want without ever saying it explicitly.
Your eyes need to show sexual intent. When you look at her, imagine your dick in her mouth. THAT'S the proper vibe for attracting women. Look at her like a wolf looking at a rabbit. She will instantly feel it and either agree to play along or not. Nothing needs to be said.
There cannot be sex when there is social anxiety between you two. Your job is to build instant connection and comfort. That's what game is. It's a very rapid way of developing familiarity.
Your question is basically asking about how to seduce her and turn her on, but you haven't developed the rapport phase yet.
The phases are:
Attraction >> Rapport >> Seduction >> Sex
Don't move on to seduction until you have attraction and rapport.
Seduction without rapport is awkward and creepy.
Rapport without attraction is friend-zone, which it sounds like where you're at.
Worry less about this one girl and more about learning the phases.
About the role of experience episode
About the role of experience episodeJust bite the bullet and do it!
Who gives a fuck how you feel?
Courage isn't a lack of fear, it is acting in the face of fear. Face your fears one by one by one. That's how you ace life.
Traumatic Failure - “Leave, you’re being a creep”
Traumatic Failure - “Leave, you’re being a creep”I would not say nice guys are attuned to what women really want.
A nice guy is usually clueless and also creepy.
Traumatic Failure - “Leave, you’re being a creep”
Traumatic Failure - “Leave, you’re being a creep”You're missing this key: Attunement to her subjective reality.
Success in attraction is not just about not giving a shit and saying crazy things. It's about keen awareness of the woman's emotional state, situational awareness, and being able to attune yourself to the social environment.
This is what keeps you from coming off as a madman and freaking people out. Don't say things which don't fit the subjective reality of the woman you're talking to. You need to meet her where she's at rather than bombarding her with your I-don't-give-a-fuck attitude.
When a woman tells you you're being a creep, that's a clear sign you're not attuned to her subjective reality and you're acting weird. You are not respecting the rules of the social game.
Understanding Relativism and the Validity of All Perspectives
Understanding Relativism and the Validity of All PerspectivesIn the Absolute sense, nothing is higher or lower. But in a relative sense, things are higher and lower.
Relative to survival and your personal well-being, you don't want to be QAnnon supporter. Being a QAnnon supporter is a problem relative to the QAnnon supporter's own worldview, because a QAnnon supporter's worldview holds that certain things are true and certain things are false. And one day the QAnnon supporter will discover that QAnnon violate his own standards of truth. It is not Leo who says QAnnon is false. It will the QAnnon supporter himself who will realize QAnnon is false. So the problem with QAnnon is that it is incoherent by its own standards -- it's just that the QAnnon fanatic hasn't realized it yet. When he realizes it, he will be in pain.
Any perspective which is selfish, unconscious, hateful, and fear-based will ultimately be incoherent by its own standards.
The only perspectives which are coherent are conscious, selfless, and loving ones.
Now you could argue: "But what's wrong with having an incoherent perspective? It's that okay?" To which the answer is: it's okay so long as you're okay with the suffering that incoherence results in. If you are okay with anything no matter what, then there is literally nothing wrong with anything. But then you're also awake. So the problem is that you are definitely not okay with anything on matter what. You are triggered so easily.
The perspective that you have two ass holes is not equally valid to the perspective that you have one ass hole. Because eventually you will have confront the reality that you only have one ass hole. So it does matter how truthful your perspective is. The less truthful your perspectives are, the more you will struggle and suffer. But if you are okay with massive struggle and suffering, then there is no problem.
What you need to realize is that it is you yourself who is judging the results of your own perspectives. If you didn't judge your results, there would be no problems. But you judge your results very much, hence you literally create your own problems. A wrong perspective is not wrong because others say so. It is wrong by your own standards!
For example, you might adopt the perspective that rape is good. But then when someone rapes your mother you will realize: rape is horrible. And thus you yourself will violate and condemn your own perspective. You will realize that your perspective was selfish and foolish. In this way you evolve. It is your own internal contradictions that lead to your ruin.
Can you actually change your personality? I hate my personality
Can you actually change your personality? I hate my personality@ShardMare It will come with age, if you work at least a little bit on it.
Check out Charlie from Charisma on Command channel on YouTube, he has some good tips. Watch the videos, do the exercises, you will become quite charismatic, quite fast.
He also has a video course for $597, which is pricey as hell, but full of structured exercises. It's a quality product, but doesn't even come close to the price/quality ratio of the Leo's course, haha.
You know what I would do? I would watch videos on Charlie's channel and try to put them into action. Gain some experience, for a month or two let's say, and then trip on 100 mcg LSD and try to understand how charisma works even deeper and integrate it into your personality. But nothing will work if you don't put the work in.
Can you actually change your personality? I hate my personality
Can you actually change your personality? I hate my personalitySounds to me like if you socialized a lot you could change many of those weak parts of yourself.
This is what you need, not psychedelics:
Ex is willing to give up sex to get back together
Ex is willing to give up sex to get back together@somegirl Oh, I see. It's completely normal that you don't trust him then, actually. But don't let that numb your sexuality
I don't think that any of what he did, even manipulating you this last time, was a move on you. He's just surviving the best way he can. There's no love while surviving, only neediness and attachment.
Understanding this can take to comprehend him, have compassion, forgive and move on
GF found out I watch porn
GF found out I watch pornYou don't have to be ashamed if you are fantasizing about other girls or masturbate to them.
This is very normal and human. Most people naturally want to experience a lot of persons sexually and accepting that this is a part of you is ok.
I can totally relate to your girlfriend for her It must feel like she is not enough. But you have to be honest with yourself and with her and communicate that your sexual desire is not taking away from the love you feel for her. you can also add that you are not planning to cheat on her but only to satisfy a part of yourself.
For me, this is not cheating and I know a lot of people who would never associate masturbating and watching porn with cheating.
Compassion for her is important, but also be compassionate towards yourself.
GF found out I watch porn
GF found out I watch pornShe doesn't have to accept it.
But he also doesn't have to accept her.
You gotta find people with whom you fit. That's key. You can't really change people.
Is soul mate real?
Is soul mate real?You can develop many soul mates. Intimacy can be consciously created. It doesn't just have to be something that thrusts itself on you.
Take responsibly for creating your soul mate connection.
Love is not such a limited thing.
Major Discussion Of Actualized.org Teachings & The Future
Major Discussion Of Actualized.org Teachings & The FutureI should clarify. I am not dismissive of manual practices to the point of saying they shouldn't be done. I would say I'm just more realistic about them.
Having attended plenty of meditation treats and others places which stressed manual practices, what I saw was many, many people who were basically clueless in their levels of consciousness. And these were not newbies. These were serious meditators with 10+ years of experience. So after seeing that, I realized that this whole meditation and self-inquiry thing is a racket. It's designed to lure people in with sweet promises and then not delivering them.
The objective facts are on my side. If meditation and self-inquiry are so effective as you believe, then why are 98% of meditators not awake? Why don't know what God is? Why can't they say what Love is? Why don't they understand what Infinity is? Why can't they answer basic metaphysical questions about reality and consciousness?
The answer is simple: meditation can work, but it rarely gets you that high unless you are ridiculously good at it and you do it as a full-time job.
Again, to be crystal clear: manual practices are very important! But they are really mostly suitable for hardcore practioners. And still, you will not become as conscious as you could with psychedelics, unless maybe you are a genetic spiritual freak.
I am tired of spiritual teachings which leave most people clueless and in the dark and struggling with decades of sitting on the cushion. Those teachings already exist, they are ridiculously ineffective, and I have no desire to recreate another such teaching. If that's what you want, go have it. Why do you need Actualized.org to rehash it for you? Go do Vipassana. See how far you get. The typical person won't get far. Hence I de-emphasize that stuff.
The world needs a new way of doing spirituality which is more direct, more effective. My job is to research and share that way. Maybe you think I'm deluded for attempting that, but even if I fail, to me it was a worthwhile goal. And I have already discovered many amazing ways to speed things up. If only people are willing to listen and practice.
Social Circle Game - how to have game in Social Circles
Social Circle Game - how to have game in Social Circles@John Iverson
As I've said many times, I feel social circle is the best way for guys to be dating.
I know Leo recommends cold approach a lot, and many guys on here seem to focus on that. That's fine, cold approach does have its place. But it's severely limited and bottom of the barrel when it actually comes to dating.
I would focus your social circle around your Life Purpose. These values you listed:
are good values. But ultimately I would get a lot more specific.
What do these people do for work? What do they do for fun? Where do they hang out? And how can you provide value into those social circles with your unique life purpose?
Once you've gotten at least somewhat more clear, just start putting yourself in those situations. Become a regular. Be seen, and be seen a lot. Make friends with everyone. Help people accomplish their goals. Be a connector and connect people who need introductions.
If you do that you'll starting building a social circle in no time. Social circle happens fast, literally just knowing one right person can change your entire social life.
How come super enlightened people don't play a bigger role on the world stage ?
How come super enlightened people don't play a bigger role on the world stage ?Yeah, but if you didn't demonize it you would be awake and thus not need any more help.
The people who need the most help are precisely those who will bite the hand that feeds them.
It is just largely pointless trying to force wisdom down the throats of fools. Wisdom, Truth, Love, Goodness, and Consciousness are not things that can be forced on others. When the student is ready the teacher will appear. But hardly anyone is ready.
Haha! How naive. The majority of the world's wealth was accumulated through theft, exploitation, lies, deception, fraud, tax evasion, corruption, bribery, monopoly, backstabbing, extortion, slavery, murder, assassination, and war.
Where did Trump get all his money? Hint: It wasn't through providing massive value to the world. Look at all the richest men in the world. Every single one of them stole or exploited to get it -- if not worse. It is impossible to earn a billion dollars without some serious, world-class levels of exploitation. Only a deeply selfish and unconscious man could stomach it.
Difficulty in understand what exactly causes women to lose interest.
Difficulty in understand what exactly causes women to lose interest.For me it was of momumental importance. It was not about the sex. It was about my growth into a man.
In practice, yes. The order of operations is: become skillful at survival, then transcend survival.
For a few exceptionally gifted people this order of operations is not needed, but for most people it is. It is hard to be serious about spiritual work when you are horny and lonely and craving it.
Most mindblowing sex experience. Sharing few insights.
Most mindblowing sex experience. Sharing few insights.Im sure that my Presence and Love allowed the space for my gf to exp. the things that I will shortly share It was amazing!
I got her to start smoking weed and that helped her to open up and see new perspectives.
She said that at the room where I meditate she gets into a tottaly different state. And last night we started talking when she started to unconsciously speen around in circles. This happens to me when I meditate. After that she fell down on the bed and started laughing touching her nippls haha, then she bursted in tears becaouse I forgot to bring oranges hahaha She relived a childhood trauma(she said that she felt like a 5 year old child). And after some huging and talking we started to make love.
Here are few insights I exp.
I usually have premature ejaculation problems, but that is also becaouse she has strong devine energy in her, she suckes me dry, I cannot handle it! But this time there was no thoughts like "focus on the breath etc." There was no eddie entering hes gf. We were one. It was one dance that took place. I was the orgasm itself. And it lasted, and lasted, and lasted... OMG I backed up my intuition becaouse I always knew that she has very strong spiritual side (she is infj like me) I realized what it means everyrhing is me on a deeper level It was amazing dance that played out by itself Evrything that people need is acceptance and love. Now when I can let go of my egoic needs, I can really listen. And the allowance and patience that I had with her, with no judgement... paid millions times more then me trying to control the situation My girlfriends insights.
she had continuous orgasms that increased she said that we were energies flowing in space, like two different shiny color particles mirging together in black space (let me note that she is at stage blue/orange and little bit of green without any previous knowledge or insights of spirituality) she said that it was a bliss she never experienced before etc. She said that the music in the backround was lound and that she was in flow with the music (I didn't hear it at all) today, she says that she is still high in love She is very brave! Im so glad she is opening up for spirituality now. Im so glad that we can grow together(we were groing together, im pretty sure she was the one resposible for my enlightenment)! Im so glad that now she understands what Im talking about when I say "Baby, Im diferent dimention right now and I can't go to the market" without her rolling her eyes ahahhahahah
I cannot explain what is possible for you guys! It is a Miracle! You are Beautiful, You are Perfect, You are Love! You are one big Orgasm!
And hey, all this, right here! Righ Now! Do you know what that is? It is God playing with it Self! It is God jurking off! hahahahah ?❤
Teal swan - what a woman needs from a man in a relationship
Teal swan - what a woman needs from a man in a relationshipHaha!
Now you are playing the ultimate game.
Your game is to get everyone to stop playing games so that you get the upper hand.
You see how sneaky you are?!
You want mating and survival to be honest, but survival is grounded in dishonesty, selfishness, and manipulation. The desire to make survival selfless and honest it the highest form of dishonesty and self-deception.
Human mating will always involve games, because it is a game. The fact that it has serious consequences does not make it any less of a game. In fact, that's what makes it such a serious game. Since the stakes are life and death, games will be played by both sides. This is the nature of the beast and if you want to be honest then you have to start by admitting that.
The most honest position in a dating situation is this: "I will game you and you will game me. Let's play and see what happens. Let's enjoy it."
When you say: "Oh, I'm above that. I don't play any games. I'm not selfish like you, so you should stop being selfish and stop playing games because that's gross." << that is dishonest and that is your game.
Teal swan - what a woman needs from a man in a relationship
Teal swan - what a woman needs from a man in a relationshipYes, there can be some love and consciousness.
I have no problem with "feminine containment". I encourage guys to do that. But doing that requires the guy become stronger and more grounded in himself. Less of a nice guy. Which is how this whole debate got fired up.
Yes, you may be right. I have my biases and my experience with pickup certainly gave me a certain highly pragmatic and realistic POV. It's a bit like being a solider who comes home from Vietnam. He has a very stark view of the brutality of that kind of game.
When one does a lot of Game A, one starts to see Game B as unrealistic.
I can flip that back around on you. Why would a women be interested in confidence and intimacy if she doesn't want kids? Why have sex at all with condoms or birth control?
It's both. It can be a justification for guys to be assholes sometimes. But it's also true that women are attracted to that kind of behavior. So it's hairy.
I have sex very rarely. I invest most of my energy into my work, my contemplations, and my awakenings. So be careful what you assume. Few men in my position have sacrificed as much sex as I have for a higher cause.
Do I like a hot girl over the opposite? Of course. Any guy does. Notice how you dismiss the male's natural attraction, as if there is something wrong or shallow about it.
An enlightened master will still enjoy some big tits. Consciousness does not mean you start blowing homeless people under the bridge. You still have standards and preferences. You got yours, and I got mine. The difference is, you try to make me feel bad about mine whereas I don't try to make you feel bad about yours. If you want love and intimacy with a guy, great! That's your agenda. If you were a man, you would be here typing as most of the men do. Recognize that.
Love, consciousness, and intimacy are also important for men, but physical attractiveness is a higher priority for many men. That does not mean intimacy never happens -- which is how many of you ladies interpret it. It still happens. Men are not single-minded. Just because we like big tits does not mean we don't also like companionship and intimacy and relationship. Just like how you like humor, that doesn't mean you will only have sex with comedians and there will be no intimacy or anything else. You like humor + confidence + strength + muscles + leadership skills + intimacy + financial security + passion + consciousness + etc.
It's actually worse than you think. Both men and women want the FULL package. Nobody is fooled by a single good trait. One good trait ain't good enough. That's like going to buy a car and only caring about the wheels. Buying a car is a complex holistic decision. Likewise with finding a mate.
The thing you ladies don't get about intimacy is: intimacy is easy! Intimacy can be built with literally any bum on the street -- if you really wanted to. But of course you would never do that. For a man, prioritizing intimacy is not important because it will automatically happen regardless of what girl we choose. No matter what girl I end up choosing, I know that I will build crazy deep intimacy with her. Hence I don't even need to consider this factor when choosing a girl. So I screen based on other factors that I care about.
Now, many guys have intimacy problems. So I highly encourage them to work that out and go for deep intimacy with the girl of their choice. Nothing I say is anti-intimacy or deep relationship.
You took my point a bit too literally.
My point still stands. You just have to be intelligent about how to apply it. Visit a quality paid porn site, not some freebie porn sewer full of sexual deviants and degenerates watching homeless people fuck.
Does dating multiple women hurt your chances?
Does dating multiple women hurt your chances?Don't underestimate how selfish and careless more girls are. She isn't some saint. She's blindly following her own survival agenda. She will not give two fucks about flaking on you.
Yeah, well, it goes both ways. Hurt feelings come with the territory of dating. Most girls don't give a fuck if they step all over your survival agenda.
My personal rule is that there is no relationship until sex.
But you may feel otherwise. I set my rules based on my deep experience of what works and what does not.
Of course you can try doing it the other way and get some results, but it's not a good overall dating strategy.
Remember, that is HER frame. You can choose to play by her frame or set your own frame. Will setting your own frame lose you some girls? Sure, but it will get you many more others. As a general rule, the guy should be setting the frame, not the girl. At least from the guy's POV that makes the most sense. If you like being a pussy you can buy into her frame.
That's none of her business.
If she is asking this kind of question you already did something wrong.
From the moment she meets you she should realize that you are a high value guy who is highly social and desirable to many girls. She should feel that if she does not snap you up soon you will move on to other girls. She should feel like you could bang a new girl every night if you wanted to.
First cum, first served
No, she won't get hurt. She will desire you even more because she recognizes how attractive and high-value you are.
Attraction is highly counter-intuitive. You think that by being meek and humble and loyal and nice that this will make girls attracted to you, but it's the opposite. With that strategy you will lose many girls and mostly attract the weakest and lowest-value ones.
A girl's fantasy is to lock down a player/knight in shining armor who is a pussy magnet. Not some meek nice guy who will beg her for sex like a panhandler begs for nickles. Regardless of whatever bullshit story she tells you, she wants a high-value guy. Period. No amount of talking or excuses will change that. And the #1 clue of a high-value guy is that he can get laid any day he wants to.
One of the most attractive things you can do is to show up to a party with a bunch of hot girls at your side, orbiting around you like groupies. This will make you appear WAY more attractive to all the other girls, creating a feeding frenzy for your dick.
Deep down she wants to know that you could fuck any girl in the world, but you choose to only fuck her because she is so special to you. That is her ultimate fantasy.
If the particular girl you want is insecure, you can dial all this down a bit. But there is no shame at all for her to perceive you as sexually active. As a man, you don't need to hide the fact that you're a bit of a player. Don't explicitly say so. It should just be a vibe you give off. Girls will smell it.
Consider Brad Pitt. Every girl knows he can fuck whoever he wants whenever he wants -- and probably does so. And this is why every girl dreams of landing him.
If you want the most brutal truth, dating multiple women not only doesn't hurt your chances, it increases it, and the more women you date the higher your chances get. This is so true that it can get easily abused to sociopathic levels. PUAs abuse this principle all the time. I don't recommend you do that. I recommend you find a nice balance that does not crush girls hearts nor inflate your ego. You can be strong and assertive without being a total scumbag.
For Serious Emotional Problems:
For Serious Emotional Problems:11 Recomendations to control and apasiguate your emotional problems
- Hear soft & relaxing music.
. Hear meditative/mantra music.
- Practice Excercises Slow and deep Breathing, ( 2 - 5 mints).
- Contemplation NOW around you: hear, watch, feel (feel the touch of skin), prove (mouth flavor) and smell, 5 senses at same time, breath deep and slowly.
- Practice HOPONOPONO.
- Practice Mindfullnes.
- Ask deep help inside your heart, in silence with eyes close. Sincerely Deep Ask. Take three deep breaths.
- Ask deep help inside your DEEP BEING, in silence, with eyes close. Sincerely Deep Ask. Take three deep breaths.
- Sit in a tree an watch the nature, take deep breaths.
- See the Clouds.
- Take a Shower.
I reccomend to practice only one at time.
Here there are some "GENERAL" recommendations that helps you for some time to be more controlled.
If you want more recommendations about any specific case write below comments