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@theleelajoker That's a very good idea, I'll surely do that

@Madhur Yes you are very young and I'd do it absolutely, considering that if it doesn't go as planned you can always find another job while your parents are supporting you. You just have to use and direct those feelings towards something creative, every day, and track your progress as well weekly maybe. 6 months is not as long as you think, it will go really fast, and make sure you have something to show for it, even if it doesn't get you any money. At the moment you don't have that many responsibilities (your own family I assume, kids, rent, loan, etc), which gives you the freedom to do it, as long as your parent are okay with it. The reason I mention responsibilities is that you won't be like that forever, things will add up as years go by and it will be more and more difficult to live without a monthly paycheck. So do it while it's easier. Share with us what you create after those months

@Ero Congrats man! I'm in software development, but not doing ambitious things (at least by my standards), I mainly do front-end for companies for the last couple years, the pay is good and I haven't really tried anything else. If I wanted to go towards entrepreneurship and working on a business, what field would you recommend? "AI" is such a buzzword today, but what would you say are it's usage in business world as of today that we can leverage as creators? Also, how would you compare working 9-5 (if you even have) to working on your business, effort-wise and also how fulfilled are you?

@UpperMaster I haven't dated much through social media, and I don't have Insta page set up but I know friends who had dates after chatting up girls on Instagram. I think it's not a primary, but something to have just because why not. Also, depends on girl, my last girlfriend didn't use Instagram that much, other then scrolling for some cute memes. You just have to try and see. Try couple months with (restricted access to not waste time) and then without it and you'll know. If you incline towards not having one, I'm sure you'll still have success with girls, I don't see a reason why you won't. Of couse if all the other things are in place from your side like socialization, talking to girls, etc.

@UpperMaster Just put up some blocker app, the way I use Instagram is that I have an app called "Stay Focused" on my android phone, and I have the following settings set to Instagram: only allow me to use 10 minutes at a time, 30 minutes in total daily. That will restrict you to not spend too much time like crazy. If you start messaging a girl on the app, you can deactivate those settings later, but if you want to avoid doom-scrolling and wasting time, and still want to have app to follow girls, you can do what I do.

@theleelajoker Dreams are strange, overlooked phenomenon. It's cool that you've been using them for resolving life issues. Yeah seems to be something similar. Going through that chain is the bulk of the emotional work I think. But at the moment I'm so exhausted emotionally, I don't event want to frame that as "work". For some time, I'll spend 80% of the time in solitude contemplating on my past, actions, this relationship in particular, attachments, pain, heartbreak, etc. And I'll feel everything that comes up. And I'll spend 20% of my time researching stuff, maybe there is something I miss, like an approach that helps with something, or some way to distance myself from all this and look at it objectively. Again, thanks for sharing, helps a lot.

@theleelajoker Yeah...you are right. There is no rush of improvement either. I also take my time, sit and think a lot on what has happened. Not only in the last 4 years but before that as well. I think one thing that ending this relationship will cause for me is that I'll become more contemplative in general, because without that I'm like running hamster on the wheel, towards next relationship and next hobbie and next XYZ. I need to slow down. Thanks for the advice. One thing I didn't anticipate are dreams. When I think that emotions cooled down a bit and I can concentrate on work for example, and then take a nap and dream about some scenarios with her, I wake up super anxious and the circle starts all over again. But I trust that that will also fade away with time.

@theleelajoker Yeah, pretty much. Somebody said this on reddit which made me a bit more hopeful: "there will be a day when you realize that she's the second thing you think about when you wake up. then soon she will be the third. and the fourth. then soon enough it will be hours, days, a week even and you realized you haven't given her one bit of thought." Yeah that's exactly what I do. But sometimes I want none of those, just my own judgement and contemplation, which I often ignore and postpone, because I guess it's scary to confront truth about the self. But without this I can make same mistakes in future relationships. That's what is twisted about this situation. Simultaniously it's really painful and benefitial at the same time. It's a huge growth oppotunity, with multiple pillars like having all this emotions and attachment on the surface to work with, planning and hatching a plan of getting better in different ways and actually executing on those bit by bit daily weekly monthly, etc. So yea, I think when I look back after 5 years, I'd be glad that this happend. But that will require some years.

For me sharing my plans and goals with people causes some dopamine hits and feels that I've actually accomplished something, and later I might not take much action towards them. I don't know if that's actually a dopamine but it comes with a satisfying feeling, it's addictive. And then when I plan to do something, I get an urge to tell somebody, which is not healthy I think. Also, it might also be a hidden motive of wanting to validate your plans and goals with others before you commit to it. Just observe why you tend to share your plans and goals, really look into what are you trying to do there, is that net positive or negative. Now I personally don't share much, I prefer to show them results if anything.

Have you guys tried any supplements that help with lucid dreaming? I think the ones that help with meditation should also affect dream clarity at some point, shoudn't it?

@theleelajoker I just did that today, literally 4 days after the breakup. It was clearly a mistake I need to wait a bit more, couple weeks at least to allow emotions to cool down. Another trap is reading old loving messages, that shit hurts. I want to start meditation as explained in Culasada's book The Mind Illuminated. That's also basically breath-watching and constant mind-redirecting. I did it on and off for the last couple years, now I really need to make it consistent to see the actual results of what it does to psyche and my experience of life in general. That will feel nice. Yeah and all of them give advice, not realising that their advice is hugely biased with their life experience and nobody is aware enough to be careful with that. Which is not bad per se but might be confusing at times.

@theleelajoker Thanks man One thing I like to do and that I'd add to that list is just sitting alone in silence (maybe in darkness as well), and reflecting on life in general, the decisions and actions made that led to this place right here. Really trying feeling and reliving old experiences, especially the hard ones. Tears and laughter are also common when I do that. It's not as flashy as breathwork or dancing but it brings some melancholic feelings as well. I haven't gone to therapist yet but I think I will and tell him / her everything that I am keeping to myself now. It's really hard for me to cry in front of somebody, but therapist would be a nice choise since it's kinda her job to allow me express anything, and that will be conforting. A good place to start. How does meditation help with that? In what particular ways?

@BlessedLion Nice. How did you start? What is your story, were you extroverted since your teenage years or introverted and had to develop those skills in a hard way like most of us. How did you overcome all the fears? I guess with just action, trial and error and experience and not giving up. I'm sure all those relationships and lovers would bring lots of drama in your life, didn't that distract you from other activities you were doing?

Got it

@Someone here I was referring to a concept from Leo's video called "Burning Through Karma - How To Exhaust Material Desires" Why do you think that? I'm also at your age and thinking about these stuff, considering different life scenarios. When it comes to having family and kids, in my mind it interferes with the possibility of doing lots of consciousness work, who knows what comes up. Maybe after having kids I regret them, or maybe if I don't exhaust my need of being with different girls, I won't be happy in any kinds of marriage. Just thinking along those lines. But at the same time, time flies.