jimwell

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Posts posted by jimwell

  1. Posted

    @SoonHei

    He sent me a message once. I hadn't talked to him and didn't know him but he was compassionate and positive in his message. So, the good things you said about your brother must be true. 

    I feel very sad about what happened to him. I wish he had chosen a different decision or place. Continue grieving, but from time to time, remember he is at least free from any form of suffering now and can't be harmed in any way. And that the best thing you can do is to finally overcome the grief. That is probably what he wants for you and the rest of his family.

     

    To Leo and forum members here:

    Making crazy claims but can't back it up with actions have already done much harm. If you had walked more and talked less, you would have been more careful in your talks. You would have changed your claims from "Life and Death are imaginary. Don;t worry about it. Look at me, I don't". "You are God and Only you exist, your family and friends don't. SO don't worry about it. Look at me, I don't."     to     "Life and Death are real. And so is pain. So be careful. But when you get to a point where your consciousness gets so elevated, you see Life, Death, Family, and Friends as imaginary, still be careful. Because imagination is also real."

    Most humans are easily persuaded by "authority" figures. So, they tend to believe things, no matter how outlandish and absurd they are. My speculation is Sunny believed he could finally awaken from the "imaginary dream" of life after jumping from the bridge. It was a dogmatic belief, no skepticism and no experience of "awakening" or "God-realization". I also speculate there have been many followers of Leo (vulnerable ones) who have been harmed directly or indirectly via his teachings. But we never heard of them because nobody reported.

    soonhei.jpg

  2. Posted

    2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    You don't understand.

    All of that is imaginary.

    I became Infinitely Conscious. Which means I become absolutely conscious of everything. That's what it means to be God.

    If you are not conscious how you designed the whole universe, you aren't really awake.

    What I am talking about is beyond anything your mind can fathom and beyond anything any spiritual teaching has told you.

    My idea of what's going on is 100% Absolute. I am trying to guide you to that, most of you refuse to listen.

    Is this demonstrable? Like raising the dead back to life, manifesting fish and bread via imagination or willpower, turning water into wine, or healing your SIBO via imagination or willpower? 

    I hope it is demonstrable. I would be happy if you provide the answer via telepathy. 

  3. Posted

    21 hours ago, JosephKnecht said:

    You are attracted to people with a massive ego because you have tried hard to repress your own ego.

    Your deepest desire is to be authentic, and the Ego people are authentically selfish. You are attracted to their authenticity, not the Ego. 

    You have disowned your ego, and have created a shadow out of it. Instead of disowning, you have to integrate, then transcend.

    Nice guys(opposite of Jerks :) ) are not attractive because they have also disowned their Ego, and they use their "niceness" in an attempt to fulfill their desires. Since niceness is just a coping mechanism, it is unauthentic and thus unattractive. 

    If you find an authentic nice guy, it is probably the Buddha, so you must kill him. :D 

    Somebody finally detonated a truth bomb. But the explosion will be a waste of energy, time, and intelligence if there is no introspection, self-honesty, and bravery. 

  4. Posted · Edited by jimwell
    "It also propagates tremendous devilry."

    @TheSomeBody

    It fucks my mind how you and other people here are focused on the wrong things (Leo being impolite, rude or arrogant). That shit is trivial as fuck it doesn't even matter what caused him to act that way and what the results are on his work (but I know the results are good). 

    I will reveal again what the only real problem with Leo is. And you people should focus on it (but not obsessively). It is his inability to walk his biggest talks. This problem or weakness is very serious because it does tremendous harm on his followers (and on the world). It also propagates tremendous devilry. I know Leo knows what I'm talking about deep in his heart. But the good thing is he is working on it. That's the reason he uploaded the "What is integrity?" video. And that's the reason he delayed uploading part 2 (to do more inner work). 

  7. Posted

    10 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    Haha! How naive. The majority of the world's wealth was accumulated through theft, exploitation, lies, deception, fraud, tax evasion, corruption, bribery, monopoly, backstabbing, extortion, slavery, murder, assassination, and war.

    Where did Trump get all his money? Hint: It wasn't through providing massive value to the world. Look at all the richest men in the world. Every single one of them stole or exploited to get it -- if not worse. It is impossible to earn a billion dollars without some serious, world-class levels of exploitation. Only a deeply selfish and unconscious man could stomach it.

    You dropped a truth bomb which shattered the spiritual conscious-capitalists' fantasies (self-deception). A display of integrity there.

  8. Posted · Edited by jimwell
    needed to add Rhamana Maharshi

    4 hours ago, Consept said:

    This is a slight misquote, the quote is actually -"If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

    Notice he said 'if you want to be perfect'. His teaching has always been man can not be perfect only God can. So it doesn't seem as if he's saying sell your possessions. This misunderstanding , as @Wilhelm44pointed out, is part of the reason why so many have an aversion to money or think it's anti spiritual. 

    There is also debate on the camel quote, a lot of people say he was talking about either a rope going through the eye of a needle or theres pathway that goes between to large cliff faces, which is a narrow passage, and so it's hard for a camel to get through. The key thing is that both are not impossible, it can just be harder to do. 

    But of course I might be wrong, but the point is that teaching are open to interpretation so it can become troublesome when they are followed as the highest truth, especially when they appear to give rules on how humans should think and feel. 

     

    Followers of Christianity who were deeply threatened by what Jesus said perverted his teachings and tried to frame it in ways to make them less threatening. Don't be distracted by the perversions. And don't be stuck with figuring out what exactly Jesus meant.

    In the end, the genuine spiritual humans love and prioritize God, Wisdom, Truth, Righteousness, Honesty, Beauty, and Love. All other things such as money, business, sex, fame, etc. are perceived as secondary or even completely worthless. What did Jesus, Rhamana Maharshi, Buddha, Lao Tzu, and other deeply spiritual humans value? 

    So, if you see a person claiming to be very spiritual but clearly demonstrates love and priority for the secondary things, know that they are self-deceived (which also means they deceive others). I am not saying the secondary things have no value or not worth doing. I myself love and do them. But deep in my heart, I know what the most beautiful and important things in life are. And in general, or as a whole, I prioritize them over all other things.  

  11. Posted

    On 4/12/2021 at 0:04 AM, Denial said:

    I'm not gonna repeat what my problem is, but I'm desperately looking for something that can make me look at life in another way. Please share your insights. I'm literally living in hell right now. 

    It is difficult to give you the exact things which might help you because your post is vague. What made your life a living hell? Is it your family situation? Not being attractive to girls? financial problems? childhood trauma? anxiety and depression? Or is it death?

    If it is death, it is appropriate to feel miserable and in despair. A sane and sensible human contemplates death then realizes death renders life empty and pointless. It doesn't matter what you do and achieve, you will lose them all in death. DO you deeply understand that? Even if God decided to give you everything you want which makes you happy (money, beautiful women, cars, fame, a YouTube channel which is more popular than actualized.org, Nobel prize, people's approval, etc.). In the end, your life is still empty because those things will disappear when you die. Even all memories of your existence will disappear. From your perspective (which all that matters), it feels as if you have never been born. That realization should crush your soul. But just because it is the truth, you don't need to be stuck in that phase. It is important to continue to grow and to be "at peace" with that truth (takes at least a few years). If there are 2 options (a good, fulfilling life and a bad, miserable life) and it doesn't matter what you choose, it is sensible to choose the 1st option. Don't listen to "enlightened" humans when they tell you "There is no death. Don't worry about it.". That must be what they label as spiritual bypassing. Death is obviously real. Where are your great grandparents? How many millions have died and will still die because of the coronavirus pandemic? When was the last time you went to a cemetery? Even if these "enlightened" humans tell you "Everything is imaginary. Don't worry about it.", don't listen to them. But to be honest, I somehow know it by intuition that everything is God's imagination. It's crazy. But even if it's true, it also means everything is real because there are no distinctions to refer to. And you surely feel pain and disappointment in this imagination.    

    If you are living with your family, I recommend you leave your house and live alone (because they are probably toxic and "low conscious"). Be financially and mentally-emotionally self-sufficient to make your life situation sustainable. That is much easier said than done. I am still working on it myself.

    Regardless of the forces which make your life a living hell, here are things which are generally good and help make life easier.

      

  13. Posted

    12 hours ago, montecristo said:

    @Leo GuraI agree,

    the action I'm taking to minimize it is to extract as much capacity from it as possible. Most people who want to be less game A-y make the mistake of not participating in it, punishing themselves and weakening the impact they can potentially have.

    If they really cared about subverting game A and bringing about the change they want to see they'd find a way to become as powerful and influential as possible in service of that. I think you've done a smashing job of this actually.

    The "Robin Hood" strategy is a sensible way to change things for the better. But the challenge is somebody who wants to be a Robin Hood needs to be Stage Yellow with a strong Green aspect and an additional aspect of either Red or Orange. Are you Stage Yellow? If so, Is your Green aspect solid? If not, and all you got is your Strong Orange aspect, you are simply a white-collar criminal, not Robin Hood. Worse with Stage Red people who are Robin Hood wannabes ?. They are just pure criminals.

    The "Jesus" way did not work and never will (at least not significantly in a relatively short period of time). He was instead murdered because he had no power. His way works very well with angels, not with demons and devils. When dealing with demons and devils (in which almost all humans are), the Robin Hood way is very effective.     

    The few "Robin Hoods" who have emerged in the 20th century such as Pablo Escobar were all wannabes. They tainted the Robin Hood image. Pablo Escobar "gave back" to the poor Colombians not because he had a strong Green aspect. It was a facade to cover up and justify his crime and bullshit himself into believing he was a Robin Hood. He was just a Stage Red criminal.

    So, after accumulating millions via Game A, what is your plan to elevate humanity?        

  14. Posted · Edited by jimwell

    On 3/8/2021 at 6:07 PM, Leo Gura said:

    There are more options than that.

    There is also mainstream business/corporate world. There is also being a highly skilled professional that works for a salary but you are not a slave because you have lots of leverage thanks to your rare skills. There is also freelancing. There is also monkhood. And more!

    There is more featured at 7:21 of the NEET video. But "escape from wage slavery" for me is to be financially self-sufficient, there is no more pressure to generate income or profit to survive. You put the hard work upfront for many months or a few years, but after that you generate so much profit or money and there is nothing or little to do to maintain financial self-sufficiency and survival is guaranteed for many years. That is the real "freedom from wage slavery". Everything else is wage/income/followers/views/profit/etc. slavery.

     

    On 3/8/2021 at 6:07 PM, Leo Gura said:

    All humans don't need those resources. Develop and procure the exact resources you need. Stop thinking globally here and think about how to find your unique way. Becoming successful is not a public policy discussion. Don't confuse it with that.

    Obviously, but don't use these as an excuse for your own lack of success. Do the best you can with what you have available and develop the right resources. You'll be surprised how far you can go if you really want to. You are not being creative/flexible enough. You must find the right niche for you.

     

    On 3/9/2021 at 1:18 AM, JosephKnecht said:

    Don't fall into a victim mindset. You are in control of your own destiny. 

    You don't have insights into what happens in the background in the life of Elon Musk. You have no idea how many times he had failed, the pressure he is under, the problem he faces on daily basis. We only see the outside, but never the inside of what it takes to be successful. 

    The world is filled with opportunities. You just have to be brave enough to seize those opportunities. I will give you an example.

    There is this guy I found on youtube that who plays game for a living. https://www.youtube.com/c/GeoWizard/about 

    His job is to play a game called https://www.geoguessr.com/ where you are dropped into a random street in the world, and you have to guess the location. He is really good at this. This guy has more youtube views than Leo. He found his niche and is able to make a living from it.

    You don't have to do what he does. Just think about everything that had to be invented so that he can play his game. Someone had to invent cameras, google maps, the internet, websites, streaming. You can invent a better camera, better google maps, etc. Just find your passion and have the courage to go for it.

     

    I have a victim mindset because I really am a victim of my environment or situation (at least in this domain, in other domains, I am a winner). That needs to be clarified. But I am also a self-responsible or self-reliant human. I adjusted to the available resources I have. I abandoned the trackpad and laptop ideas and completed a project which only requires a windows 10 PC and internet. I coded and sold software online all by myself. It took me many months to complete it. But it failed (in terms of profit). BUt I never regret it because I learned much from that experience. Now I know how it feels to simultaneously be a CEO, software engineer, product designer, technical support, sales manager/representative, etc. It felt good. Leo must have been feeling it for many years. Good on him. The failed project also serves as a foundation for my second project, which I will implement later this year.

    Escaping from wage slavery is difficult as fuck. The economic system and the other systems supporting it are designed to keep you trapped in wage slavery. But escaping it is the only way to go to have energy and time to do the most important and most beautiful things in life though it doesn't matter in the end because of death. 

  15. Posted · Edited by jimwell
    added a video

    On 3/8/2021 at 5:53 PM, artcastle said:

    I hadn't heard that term NEET before. It sounds like the fears/opinions of older generations, which might be dominant in the media, weigh heavily on the minds of youth. Without the approval or financial support of family, it's probably difficult to set aside the resources to innovate or build one's own business. I would have liked to see in this video some NEETs who have become very successful, hear how they did it and their advice for others looking to escape wage slavery.

    NEET is British English, the abbreviation for ‘not in education, employment or training’. So, you are from the US? Contrary to popular belief, Japan is actually a very STage Blue country. This collectivist, hierarchical, don't-stand-out mindset is Japan's most important value. And this value penetrates everything Japanese, including Japanese business or financial success. The only Orange aspect of Japan is its hard-core "earn and save" money mindset. So, a NEET in Japan basically has no chance of becoming very successful. They are literally seen as garbage. Stage Blue can be very cruel.

     

    On 3/8/2021 at 5:53 PM, artcastle said:

    At least for me personally, an accent is no problem. It's a beneficial mental exercise, develops the skill, ears get used to it, and it opens doors for accessing new content and perspectives. An investment in good, large captions/subtitles can also help non-native speakers of English attract more viewers, I think.

    Don't you have trouble understanding British accent? Is it easy for you to understand non-native speakers of English? For me, as a non-native speaker of English, I can understand all or almost all accents.

     

    Here is an informative and entertaining video for you. He was born in Japan, moved to the USA in grade school, then, came back to Japan for high school. That video clearly demonstrates Stage Blue's cruelty. 

  16. Posted · Edited by jimwell
    Click on 'CC' to enable English subtitles

    Click on 'CC' to enable English subtitles

     

    In a sick and perverted society, Sanity is seen as Foolishness and Foolishness is seen as Sanity. An average Japanese lives to work. And that is seen as sane and admirable. ? Fools!

    But in the end, what exists is the truth, no matter how foolish, ugly and disgusting, in a sense. What should exist or how things should be is fantasy, no matter how sensible, beautiful, and admirable. And the truth must be honored or dealt with, not fantasy. 

    I hate to say it, but being a wage slave is still better than being a NEET (hikikomori). The other alternatives are what Leo calls Guerilla business and death. Death should be that last option. The Guerilla business strategy is worth a try. But I must say, there is a small chance for it to work. Yes, creativity is the core and what drives financial success. But it needs other forces for it to work such as financial, human (network or connections), legal, equipment, and other physical resources. I have been a guerilla inventor and a designer for a few years. And I have used such skill and succeeded to a significant degree only in start-up companies I used to work for, which means, I was still a wage slave when I used that strategy. It was that way because my creativity which created and sustained the foundational systems which enabled the start-up companies' daily business operations was supported by the companies' various resources. I simply could not manifest my own ideas just on my own.

    For example, I have been dissatisfied with the functionality of trackpads. As Leo said in his Guerilla business video, it is very inconvenient and inefficient. So, I have a mental prototype of a good trackpad. It includes all the details, from how to move the mouse pointer, to how to make a left and right click, to how to navigate windows and web pages. Another example is, I have been dissatisfied with the laptop's design. It doesn't allow users to maintain good posture, especially neck posture. You need to bend your spine and neck, especially after prolonged use. And it sucks when you use your laptop for online video calls or meetings. The laptop together with its web camera is too low on the table. It's a bad angle. It highlights your mouth and nose during video calls. So, I designed a mental prototype of a good laptop. It is made of 3 foldable screens (instead of 2), one for the keyboard, one for the main screen, and one for the middle screen, used for increasing the height in normal mode, which can also be used as a second screen for specific apps, and used as a main screen extender (for increasing the width of the main screen in landscape mode, good for watching videos or playing games with external controllers). But this sensible design will continue to exist only in my mind. I need to have enough financial resources, human networks or connections, and direct access to the equipment used to manufacture laptops to manifest it. Only then I can have the possibility to patent it. It is basically impossible for me and for almost all humans to have all these resources. 

    I bet Elon Musk wouldn't have founded Tesla and Space X if he was born in Myanmar. He would have been a "nobody" there or a NEET. To create a financially successful Elon Musk, there needs to be an environment which possesses all the required resources to support his creativity. I bet Leo wouldn't have started Actualized.org if he was born in Indonesia. If for some reason, he would be able to, it wouldn't have been as big as it is now. You would have produced Leo with a broken English. ? Even if he somehow would be able to acquire good grammar, nobody wants to listen to a youtuber with a thick Indonesian accent.  

     

  18. Posted

    @Valwyndir  

    Your original post is intriguing, I feel I need to break my promise for the 2nd time. But I detected some inauthenticity in your original post and even some gaslighting.

    Leo's biggest flaw is his inability to walk his biggest talks, especially the one he shared on his blog which is liberation-his ultimate life purpose. BUt we don't need to go that far. It's only Jesus who has been able to do that (if he even existed).

    Leo preaches inclusiveness and compassion to the dumbS and evilS in our societies (the scammers, bullies, rapists, "Trumps", etc.) but rejects the dumbS and evilS in this forum (ideological conservatists, aggressively dumb self-proclaimed enlightened forum members, gaslighters, conspiracy theorists, etc.).

    Leo said in one of his videos he deeply cares about the truth that he doesn't care about being alive anymore. That was very inauthentic of him to proclaim that. Not good for a Jesus wannabe.

    Leo's Stage Green aspect is not solid enough. I see some, but surely needs improvement. But I understand it must be very difficult or impossible for somebody who started very entrepreneurial then go 180 degrees and be like Mother Theresa. I can't imagine Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos letting go of their billions in the name of Stage Green values which is equality, love, peace, justice, OneNess, unity, etc. I am sure about this because I am in the opposite spectrum. I started very Stage Green but have been forced to be very entrepreneurial and money-driven. I have been exerting tremendous effort and willpower for a few years to be a greedy businessman. But thankfully, I have succeeded in at least having that very selfish, money-driven mindset. Some might interpret this as a regression from Green to Orange. But No, I am actually deepening my Yellow.

    But Leo recently said he might need another 10 years to walk his biggest talks. It sounds good. And he said he is now more interested in doing his most serious work, not on being a youtuber. So people won't know he even exists. ? I think that is the way to go for him.  

     

     

         

  19. Posted

    On 3. 12. 2020 at 8:04 PM, BakeJeyner said:

    Now: I am completely full of existential terror, dread, confusion, and despair. I feel like nothing, including myself, is real and that there is no point of existence. That there is no meaning to a completely imaginary singular reality in this sea of infinite imagined realities. And worst of all: I feel like I am eternal and that I can never end. And oh my god I just want this all to end. I can't handle what I experienced, I can't handle KNOWING that all of this reality is imagined and everyone else is just my imagination. I can't handle knowing that I am the only thing, that I am god, and that I am infinite. I just want it all to end, for me to disappear, but I know that's not possible because on the trip I've already disappeared in this reality.

    My stomach and heart feel like pits of suffering, and my soul feels like its writhing and exploding in agony. I've been feeling this way for 4 days now trying my best to just feel the feelings, but this dark night of the soul feels like it has no resolution. Its like I've peeled back the veil of reality and seen the truth, and the truth is infinite, alone, and despairing. I can now remember the trip whenever I want, but because I can remember how I felt and what I knew during that trip any notion of who I am and what is real has no ground. Everything feels fake and imaginary and I feel trapped in this hopeless meaningless ride of existence & nothingness. Everyone and everything in my life is just something I am imagining and I'm completely alone. I am in complete hell. The truth is complete hell. I want to end.

     

    Your post sounds authentic and very intriguing. I feel like I need to break my promise of being permanently out of this forum so I can respond to you.

    Your post fucked my mind, but not because of your realization and experience of being God, alone, and eternally imagining everybody and everything in existence. But because of the despair and horror you felt as a reaction. 

    What you have realized and experienced is very beautiful and inspiring. It is the best accomplishment or experience a human can ever have. It is better than founding amazon and being the richest man, surpassing Bill Gates. It is even better than having a child or two with the most beautiful woman in the world and travelling to other countries to enjoy your concubines. Nothing comes close to the beauty and grandness of that truth. 

    Being God and alone, eternally imagining existence sounds so good. It makes me feel tremendous love and admiration. But somewhere in my soul, exists a deep disappointment. Considering the evil, unfairness, cruelty, and the amount and variety of suffering in the world, it basically means I am God having a self-inflicted nightmare.     

    I have been doing self-development for many years and have developed stable self-love. I also regularly spend time in nature alone, contemplating and admiring the beauty and mystery of existence. And I love my aloneness. So that's probably the biggest reason why my reaction is opposite to yours.

    I envy you for experiencing such beauty and grandness. I can't see I am God and I am all there is. Yes, I am a part of God, but not full God. How can you and I be simultaneously full God? God is supposed to be only one. There are 7 billion full Gods on this planet? It's senseless.

    I think I need to try psychedelics in the future. Meditation, contemplation and introspection have not been sufficient to give me the answers to the questions "Who is the deepest I?" and "What is the deepest existence?".

    I have questions for you.

    1. Did you ingest psilocybin mushrooms? What was the exact breed or type?

    2.  How did you ingest it? Raw, boiled, or infused?

    3. Were you alone during the trip? What time was it?

    4. Did you do any preparations before the trip?

    Please answer as detailed as possible. Thanks!

    I want to experience what you experienced.

     

     

  20. Posted · Edited by jimwell

    14 hours ago, VerballyHazardous said:

    Thank you for your service, we need more people like you on this forum -_-

    My pleasure ? And thanks for the kind words.

    I hope you will get 20 girls before you turn 20. ?

    Dedicate yourself to building yourself up. Then be amused how easy it is to make a girl say Yes. No, I'm not kidding.

     

    @IJB063

    Guess what? I didn't start this thread to make somebody care and stop me from leaving. Watch that little, needy ego projecting itself.

     

    9 hours ago, ajasatya said:

    Human beings can change so radically that you won't notice a single trace of a screwed past. It's possible and I have done it. I was sexually abused when I was a small child but I have gone through such a deep transformation that I don't even remember it in the daily basis anymore.

    The reason you can resonate with Teal Swan is because she is still broken inside, as she says it herself. But she is deeply aware of her brokenness and that's how she plays the role of a teacher so well. So we have two points here:

    • You can totally overlook someone's f**ked up past, depending on the level of healing that the person went through
    • You don't need to be completely healed to help others. All it takes is awareness of your own wounds. Or simply awareness in general. And of course good wording and enough empathy

    There will always be some traces of a fucked up past. If the childhood experience was too horrifying and lasted for too long that it crushed the child's soul, there will always be remnants of it no matter how great the healing is. I myself was sexually abused when I was 3 years old. Though it sounds bad, I was not traumatized by it. And I'm not a rapist. So I was not broken by it in any way. BUt maybe, it made me love sex more, which is good. I was traumatized by my other childhood humiliation and horrors.  

    And no, I haven't overlooked your past. I see brokenness in you and in others. But your brokenness or trauma is not soul-crushing. And you are out of touch with the sexual abuse trauma after significant healing. 

    I resonate with Teal Swan not only because she is still broken, but because she has gained significant healing from her brokenness. And more importantly, she stays in touch with her past childhood trauma despite the healing. That's what made her effective and relatable.  

     

     

     

  21. Posted

    The good thing about this forum is, in general, the members here are more "conscious" and more interested in self-development and god than the general population. You can also come here if you are bored or you are feeling bad and want to vent and feel support. This forum is especially helpful if you are at a point when you are ready to risk your soul and life to do drugs so you "raise your consciousness" (if you have access to psychedelics, lsd, etc). There are many druggies here to give you tips and tricks.

    But if you are seriously mentally-emotionally broken for whatever reason, especially if you have deep childhood trauma, this place is not the way to find solace. Yes you can vent all your emotions, but that will be a temporary, slight relief. Go to "Serious Emotional Problem" section, and you will find members as confused, as depressed, and as broken as you but giving advice. Of course, that will not work. BUt how about the administrator and moderators? If they are in that "privileged" position, they must be have gone through all the shit you are going through and must have conquered them? The short and direct answer is No. I have been in this forum for a while and have observed their posts and analyzed their soul. No, they don't have much childhood trauma and not much family problems, so their way of relating to you is limited. It is very different to hear a hundred times how good ejaculation feels to experiencing an actual ejaculation. The former is inferior to the latter. If you feel like shit and want real solutions, it's better to read self-help books and contemplate. If you want videos, watch Teal Swan because she has experienced what you are experiencing. But you must still contemplate because I have heard a few senseless things from her.

    Conquering your childhood trauma and self-transforming your soul is a very important aspect of self-actualization. A system lacking that is inherently insufficient.

    The most useful and sensible sections of this forum are the "Life Purpose", "Govt, Society" and "Meditation" sections. There you can find Leo's psychedelics posts and earthly or practical posts. You can also find trip reports from other druggies. But even this, is limited. It's only useful to people who have access to psychedelics. If you have never tried any of these drugs, you will just mentally-emotionally masturbate yourself. And if you go further, you might end up believing these things which is equivalent to self-bullshit. Unfortunately, most people have no access to these "tools" for "enlightenment".

    I'll be permanently out of this forum in about a week or two. But I'll leave my profile open and won't hide anything. I have many, good, insightful posts there. It gives me a sense of fulfillment knowing they will help broken and self-deluded humans, even if it's just a few of them. ?

              

  22. Posted

    On 7/4/2020 at 5:44 PM, Aratrok said:

    @jimwell @jimwell

    @Johnny5that's what i have been trying to do for the last 2 years and medical professionals have shown to be a  hindrance instead.

    I already know what type of meningitis i have and what medication i need.

    At this point i believe all i need is to become better at interacting with seemingly manipulative and abusive minds by not getting triggered and avoiding their traps or find a way to make enough money despite health problems to be able to afford the medication and a proper treatment.

    It's very hard, because this has flipped my life completely by cognitively impairing me.

    So i believe becoming grounded and less deluded first would be a step into the right direction into resolving my sin.

    And thank you for the wishes.

     

    Edit: I accidentally tagged johnny, don't know how to remove it on mobile.

    You basically tagged me 3 times. ?? I got confused.

    You certainly need to be financially self-sustainable to conquer your sin. It's not just for your medication but for you to spend much of your energy and time conquering your sin and to live without any toxic humans bringing you down. You need to surround yourself with people who support and empower you. If that is not possible, it's better to live alone. Have the courage to cut off toxic relationships. It's very difficult but must be done if you want to be "free".

    Have you ever considered the mental-emotional component of meningitis? My sin was extreme, god-like kind of anxiety, depression, agoraphobia, bdd, ptsd, ocd, and I have conquered them by doing intense research, contemplation, introspection, working on the repressed, extreme emotional wounds and anger and by generating strong self-love. I spent my entire 20s fixing my extremely broken self. Though I succeeded, I must say you can never 100% undo your sin. There will always be traces left. I still have some problems with too much hand washing and anger. But if I compare my  current "soul" to my previous "soul", I must say I have conquered my sin.

    Having much self-love works like magic. And it certainly enables you to properly interact with toxic humans by setting boundaries and by automatically being less affected by their toxic words and actions. It even enables you to cut off toxic relationships. If you love yourself, you don't need to be loved by others. You can receive and enjoy their love, but you won't need it. It makes you self-sufficient in that very big aspect. My intuition says the "soul" and cells of your body can detect self-love (and self-hate). And that either nourishes or destroys them, especially long term.

    I made a post about my journey. It might give you some useful insights.

       

  23. Posted

     

    It's a good strategy to focus on healing from your meningitis instead of focusing on spirituality and meditation. Overcoming meningitis is very difficult. It deserves all your energy and time. That will be your form of spirituality. And it will make you grounded. You will significantly grow as a human if you overcome your sin or cross which is meningitis.

    Don't rely too much on doctors. Rely more on yourself. Do a serious research about meningitis and broaden your sources. The goal is to have a deep understanding of your condition so you can find or design a cure.

    After your sin is conquered, you can then focus on another form of spirituality. The questions What is the deepest I?, What is the deepest existence?, Why is existence structured this way?, Where or what was I before I was born?, Will I go there again after death?, Why do I even die?, What is the point of life if it ends? Why is existence full of suffering and evil? are the guiding light to the deepest spirituality.

    I hope you succeed.

     

     

  25. Posted

    1 hour ago, Nak Khid said:

    So it's sort of a Trump approach to spirituality? 

    ?

    I can taste the bitterness there. Are you dissatisfied by Leo's lack of embodiment? I honestly am.

    @Annoynymous

    But to be fair, I am dissatisfied by all the spiritual teachers. Gathering people for satsangs, preaching to people like priests do, uploading youtube videos about spirituality, etc are good, but not enough. I have already heard enough. Now, I want to see their hands and feet do the talking.

    I'm happy Jesus's life and teachings were documented. I hope he really existed and his teachings written on the bible were close to what they really were. He was the best teacher because he could do both, walk and talk. Ramana Maharshi might have also been a walk-and-talk teacher. I haven't done much research about him, so I can't make a strong conclusion. But I can confidently say Jesus dwarfs Ramana in terms of "live teaching/philosphy demonstration" and world impact.