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About Codrina

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  • Birthday 01/26/1988

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    Baia Mare
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  1. @VeganAwake You might've misinterpreted my use of the word 'I'
  2. My first one was on a mushroom trip some 11-12 years ago. I was looking at my hand and crying with great sorrow at the realisation that this 'Codrina' I thought I were, and imagined would remain after death of the body, was not there. The last one, a few months back - most powerful one yet - when I realized, cooking one morning, that behind all eyes, through all experience, through all change, there is the never changing, forever still, perfectly peaceful 'I'
  3. First, you are not a victim of karma. You are it. And the character you experience is the creation. Rejoice in it. From my experience karma is memory, accumulation of information - the very creation - how do you create? By stacking bits together - in our case, nothing more than subtle concepts - what if there is one? And what if we add another one? What if we add another? And another? All the way to infinity and back - might wanna look into the 'flower of life' concept. There is no individual free will, as any apparent individual is but an accumulation of information within the same field - pay attention - decision always happens out of thought - thought comes after the decision making - it may take credit for it or acknowledge it - interesting studies have been done on the subject as well. In the last story I wrote I gently approach the subject of free will. I strongly feel creation is all happening now, all possible variations, all karmas. There is purpose in everything. Even in asking oneself about karma. Look forward with curiosity All the best
  4. @Scholar Beautiful read. I'm a whole-food vegan myself. I gave up meat 11 years ago. And gave up milk and eggs 3 years ago. I took and take a lot of judgement from others because of it, but I didn't judge others for eating meat. Everyone is doing what they think it's best for them. Who am I to know what's best for them? I had a boyfriend at the time who wasn't vegetarian, and I used to cook meat for him. I actually ate meat a few times during these years, at family gatherings, out of respect, and sometimes at work, as I didn't want to give the chefs extra work just for me. I can't do it anymore, as I have noticed if I eat meat my mood changes. It veils awareness to a consistent degree. If you find yourself judging, accept your judgement, and with your innocent curiosity seek where it's coming from. Ask yourself "Why the judgement?" and listen. All the best! Edited to add this: If you want to convince someone, just make them watch "Earthlings" - after I've seen this documentary I decided to give up meat and was buying my eggs and milk from the farmer's market - so I knew the animals were properly taken care of.
  5. @allislove Thank you. I am enjoying it. And I have seen my true nature. There is always peace and love in the background. Through tears of sorrow, through tears of joy. I love the rollercoaster of human emotion. I have created them so I can enjoy them. I am still to experience this human life. It is a character I manifest, that writes, and a character to answer my question. @roopepa I do realize nothing is real. I guess I'm still deciding where to take this character. @mandyjw Thank you. The experience is amazing. @SoonHei Thank you. I will. I do love playing with words and concepts, however I find myself fascinated with the destruction within creation. That's why I started this thread. I was looking for new perspectives on this. Hmmm... I guess what I already know is enough Thank you all
  6. Enlightenment is the recognition of your true nature. That is the easy part Enlightened people keep doing embodiment work. Some may choose to meditate, not as a practice born out of a desire to seek something, just out of joy, resting in being. All of them work to live the understanding through all experience. Embodiment is a lifelong journey. And the further you go in your work, the more magical experience becomes.
  7. No words can describe the most radical truth. Everything is. I am. And am not. I am here and there and nowhere. Now and never. And forever And there's nothing I can type to make you see, but if you look, just look, you'll see it. Focus in silence, in seeing for long enough and you'll know. Look into your awareness. Look to the One you call 'I'. See it for what it really is - outside of any form (thought, perception, feeling), everpresent through all experience. It's what you've always been and forever will be. It's all there is This This This
  8. I need new perspectives. I wanted a partner in my life. A man. So, I imagined him holding me when I sleep, imagined him kiss me while I wash the dishes, slapping my butt...all the good stuff. I used the emotional charge I had from falling in love with a man who didn't want a relationship (and I realized he was in my life to bring out unseen aspects of myself, in interactions with men, to take me to embrace my feminine more) I write three pages every morning. One night I had a dream. I was on a rooftop, (it felt like home) and my man just came home. He was a tall, strong man. With long, dark hair and a long beard. He had this air of punk-rock...I grabbed his beard, played with it, and said 'My painter!'. Then kissed him. In my dream, I was the woman and the one seeing the whole picture from afar - awareness wasn't veiled in that dream We laid on a lounge, there on the rooftop, under the stars... I then woke up. I asked, thinking about this painter: 'Who are you? Where are you? When will you come?' As I felt he was the one I was waiting for. I wrote about the dream that morning, in my three pages. 7 days later I went to a lake in my hometown. The sun finally came out. I wanted to feel it on my skin, and have a bath in the icy water. I took the opportunity to shoot a YouTube video on 'How to have an Ice Cold Bath' (part of my work) Two days later, I edited and posted the video. That night, one of my subscribers, made a love statement in a comment: "I wanna be yours right now and for forever, you look like a world of fun omg can't stop smiling and being amazed :)) running that trail to the lake and then on top of that a cold bath, now that's FUN :))) be mine!" This was a guy I had met 15 years ago. He wanted a transfer from one art class into another. I wanted a transfer from a normal high school to the Arts Highschool. Our first encounter was some five hours, sitting in a classroom, just the two of us, drawing and talking. We saw each other two years during school, as friends. Not much. We then went our separate ways. I didn't know anything about him until about a month ago when he wrote to me, saying he saw my videos, and he appreciates my work. He asked me when I'll shoot the next, how I am...all that. He told me he is working on his master's degree in painting. He said he would like to go and fry some mushrooms outdoors with me, one day (turns out we're both vegans) I found it exciting to hear from him, back then. As I kinda liked him when I first saw him. We had a similar style. I am quite punkish myself. But that was it. He didn't write again. When I saw his comment on YouTube, I was amazed. I wanted to see him. I hadn't seen him in 15 years. I wanted to know how he looks. But he didn't have any pictures on social media. Except a few from 10 years ago. I did, however, said yes. I wrote him and told him to come kiss me. He showed up at my door and I was amazed. He was the painter I had dreamed of 10 days prior to this encounter. Medium, dark hair, exact same beard, same body, same feeling...I instantly knew it was him. We spent some 10 minutes looking into each other's eyes, hugging, laughing. There was this strong recognition. He said something like: "I've been waiting for you for so long!" My feelings were mutual. We spent a few hours together, hugging, kissing staring into each other eyes. It's been four days. We have spent a few hours each day. I have come to learn that he is a brute force of nature. And I love this about him. I find him fascinating. I have awakened to the nature of reality a while back. I have been working to create a life for me, that is in tune with my understanding. I gave up all drugs, for a few years now. I've built good, strong habits. Good morning routine. Plans, actions, creation. I still work to embody my understanding in the process. He, on the other hand, has come to see the nature of reality and has taken a different path. His approach is more on the complete freedom of being. And he feels like a tornado sometimes. He rises like a dragon, he even makes sounds like one. He has a strong passion and desire to punish people for their ignorant actions. He has great compassion for animals, but not much for humans. He doesn't really want to hurt humans, but his way of waking people up is through shaking their reality, like an earthquake. He feels a lot like God's justice sword. On my journeys, I have shown people the nature of reality through embodying kindness, love, compassion, self-sacrifice, to such a degree, that people couldn't remain ignorant and made them rethink their approach to life. He, on the other side, made people rethink their approach through his violent joy, absolute freedom of being. Drugged up, drunk, composed, spreading love through force (approaching sad, stressed people on the street with some silly games, roars, buffooning around ). You know your classic punk junkie. We talked a lot about his ways, his experiences. I can see his role. It makes me wonder what is his role in my life. Is he my partner? He has a tough time caring for himself. And he seems to enjoy being homeless (he had some three weeks of living on the streets and he enjoyed it) Can't say that I blame him. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be homeless. To let yourself go completely into the hands of God. I have this fantasy of owning nothing but a backpack with some clothes, my laptop, my phone, my Nikon, crayons, paint, sketchbooks, taking Europe on foot, sleeping wherever, taking photos, shooting videos, drawing, writing about my experience, and showing it to people. On the other hand, there is this dream I am currently working towards - becoming an English teacher. Teach teenagers about life, while they develop their knowledge of the English language. Continue writing, and painting. Take my part in society. And then I wonder if society is worth keeping. I guess this is where he comes in. He doesn't want any part in it. He only wants to shake it to its very core. What do you make of this experience?
  9. ? it's hard not to preach. I go outside with a sweater and a leather jacket in -5 Celsius degrees. Two years of cold showers and I no longer suffer from cold. Isn't that something everyone would want? To feel comfortable in cold weather? Let alone all other benefits...
  10. 'It doesn't matter why we're known, we're just known'
  11. I can definitely say that art is not a human invention, but a human response to a calling from outside themselves. It's like you are shown a vision of something that does not exist and a voice says you can bring it into existence. So you sit down, take a brush and put colour. And as you paint, it evolves in front of you. It transforms, it reveals itself to you. A painting, in my experience, is a revelation. The end result is much more than the initial vision. It isn't even you that decides when it's finished. You just paint and paint. You take a step back, you look at it, a voice says paint a line there, put colour there, and you paint some more. You take another step back, you look at it and a voice says: 'It is done' and you look at it and marvel and feel deeply humbled and grateful. Like this painting. This vision was revealed to me during meditation. After about 15 hours of work, in three days, I took a break to have lunch. I returned to the easel and as soon as I took the brush in my hand, a voice said: 'That's it. It is done.' I looked at it and agreed. It was done. Anything else on it would've been in vain.
  12. @JosephKnecht Thank you. And especially thank you for taking the time to read the stories. For some reason, I feel they are of importance. Telling a story and represent its essence through a painting or an illustration is bringing me a lot of joy. Everything else is to help me market my work. And the jewelry in hope that it will bring me a steady income. Thank you again for your kind words
  13. @Rolo Thank you. Didn't think of it that way. I feel I've been slowly going into yellow for the last 3 years. Still transitioning, for sure
  14. Hello everyone. I've been working hard on my life purpose. I am an artist. I paint. I also enjoy writing. I created my website; a few months of struggles, introspection, creation, learning to build a website, learning marketing. I did it all to share my perspective. I launched everything a week ago and it's moving slowly. I could really use your help in spreading it around, especially because my work goes into metaphysics, non-duality, and other not very popular topics. Check out my website: Read the 2 stories I published so far: You can like on Facebook: Follow on Instagram: I also started my own YouTube channel. Just one video so far. The second one is coming up this week. Please, if you can afford the time, I would really appreciate your support. I enjoy feedback as well. I am opened to criticism, suggestions. Feel free to speak freely. It is through feedback that I can learn and discover what it's eluding. Thank you, everyone! Much love!