Why do girls not find their boyfriends creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy?

[Nemra]

@Emotionalmosquito

So what if they call you a creep? Just back off, regardless of them being wrong. Maybe they don't like you, and they are being mean or defensive. Maybe you're a real creep; if so, then accept that and find creepy women. Like men, women are also BSers.

Please build your "theories" about women based on your experience with self-reflection.

One time I directly looked into a girl's eyes longer than it's usually expected as I was walking in the street to test what happened, and she started to blush hard in a good way as I was walking towards her. But it's dangerous; I don't recommend it, as not everyone on the street will like it. 😁

Edited March 6 by Understander

[Consept]

 

Around 55:40 he answers a question about being creepy

[Princess Arabia]

2 hours ago, Consept said:

 

Around 55:40 he answers a question about being creepy

I watched that part up till the 1:00 mark. NO THATS WHAT NOT A CREEPY PERSON IS. He described what it means TO CREEP. Creeping around stealing your roommate's food doesn't mean you're a creep, it mean you are creeping. Pretending to be someone you're not to women just to get them to like you isn't being a creep. 

What he says at the 1:10 mark is true though about women. He didn't describe what it is to be a creep in the sense of how women feel a creep to be. It's a feeling women get about a certain vibe that some men emit. Here's a line from Google describing what a creepy vibe is, quote: "A feeling of discomfort, unease or fear that arises when encountering someone with unsettling body language". That's how women FEEL when they call men creepy. It's a feeling they get. Another meaning was "they make you feel very nervous or frightened". "Causing an unpleasant feeling of fear or UNEASE". I put the word "unease" is bold because that's precisely it. That word describes it perfectly in a less aggressive way. 

This guy didn't do the definition any justice as far as how women see it. He described what it means to creep.

Edited March 6 by Princess Arabia

[Nemra]

14 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Pretending to be someone you're not to women just to get them to like you isn't being a creep. 

Doesn't that make men sometimes creepy? Aren't women perceiving that as a potential danger?

[BlueOak]

You'd have to live in a small town to understand some of this.

Everyone knows each other's business, and plenty of rumors get started over small things, because nobody has anything better to talk about. Like it or not you will get an identity in the place, with people responding to it. Even if you're a loner like me, which i'm sure i've got a rep for after 20 years here. 

So I get it. If you get a rep as a creep from some gossip it's going to stick, probably well past the point of whatever happened to cause it.

My bias is to say who the hell cares, but that's me. I actively like speaking to loners and who people call weirdos, as they are more interesting than someone reciting what the news told them to say, or worse the latest whatever TV garbage is playing this week, or the 15th formulaic movie franchise.

If I were more social here, i'd probably feel it more. There is a neighbor across the way that's a dismissive jerk, and most days I completely blank him now like he's not there. It bothered me at one time and i'd make an effort, but life's too short for other people's constant negative responses to you to matter, cut them out of your life before you waste the energy. 

Take the shot anyway if the girl is worth it. If she isn't why are you bothering anyway? All this pretending to be someone you are not advice that has infested something simple, is going to get you into a fake relationship with false expectations, so its probably not worth the time in the first place. Be honest and straightforward, and you'll usually come across as honest and straightforward. Don't overstay your welcome, keep it casual, if it works well, if it doesn't I don't think you'll be called creepy. You might get some embarrassment walking down the small town street, but that's life too.

Edited March 6 by BlueOak

[Hojo]

If you talk to women in small town you can flirt with one and the entire town will know. Thats how they work they are like small minds that. I live in small town I just went to the city on my days off and everyone in the town knows. I told like 3 people.

So if you flirt with someone they will talk and everyone will know you flirted with someone and if you do it again with someone else they will know you did it again.

Just be honest and say I want a girlfriend its only creepy if you lie about it. Small town people want honesty to a degree.

Edited March 6 by Hojo

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, Understander said:

Doesn't that make men sometimes creepy? Aren't women perceiving that as a potential danger?

No, you do it all the time. How? Are you the same exact way with every single person at all times. No. You're different with your teacher, your mom, your lover, a stranger, your kids, your pets.....all different sides of you is revealed. You wouldn't go into a bar and try to be reserved you'd be trying to unleash the side that's more fun and uninhibited that's why people drink. You don't drink in a church because you're not trying to unleash and become uninhibited.

Same thing. If a guy is trying to impress a girl, he may exaggerate himself or tone it down depending on his intentions. We all have different sides to us and sometimes different people brings it out depending on what you're responding to. 

So if he's pretending to be something he's not, that's not creepy behavior, it just represents maybe insecurities, wanting to impress or not being authentic, which btw, isn't about not being yourself because you cannot not be yourself; it means you're not representing what your highest values are and standing in that truth.

[Nemra]

@Princess Arabia

One time I was just walking where people don't often walk, and I saw a homeless man with a knife pointing nearly at me. I had one of the most uneasy feelings of my entire life. The weather was perfect for that; it was in the autumn. But I walked past him as if nothing were there, and he was still looking at me. 😁

Does it describe the feeling that women get when they find men creepy?

Edited March 6 by Understander

[Princess Arabia]

27 minutes ago, Understander said:

@Princess Arabia

One time I was just walking where people don't often walk, and I saw a homeless man with a knife pointing nearly at me. I had one of the most uneasy feelings of my entire life. The weather was perfect for that; it was in the autumn. But I walked past him as if nothing were there, and he was still looking at me. 😁

Does it describe the feeling that women get when they find men creepy?

That was more of fear (which is still the same), feeling unsafe, nervous. The feelings women usually feel by creepy men are, uneasy, nervous, anxious, freaked out, disgusted etc. Like ugg, get away type thing.

[Nemra]

@Princess Arabia

Do all of them have those feelings about the same behavior? I guess it has to be different, even a little bit.

[Consept]

3 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

This guy didn't do the definition any justice as far as how women see it. He described what it means to creep.

You have to watch the more than a minute, he's using that as an analogy 

Edited March 6 by Consept

[Princess Arabia]

17 minutes ago, Consept said:

You have to watch the more than a minute, he's using that as an analogy 

I didn't just watch one minute. I have to adjust what I said in reference to the timing as I didn't properly quite it right or made reference to how much of the video I watched. I started at the 5 min mark and watched about 10 min of it right to where he changed the topic. So I watched more than a minute and would have not dared to make an assessment of what I thought if I only watched one minute of the video.

That said, we all have to understand that we will all have different definitions as to what a creep is. Men VS women. Younger VS, older. Experienced VS. Not so experienced, open-minded VS closed minded, I mean the list goes on. Not that we have to go text-book on this because of slang words and society's influence on the words we use but looking at the dictionary's definition of what a creep is is not and is by far not what this guy is saying, and I personally wouldn't call a guy creepy for doing those things. Creepy is more about how one feels in response to someone's actions and is a personal thing and we are all different in how we feel towards the same actions.

Edited March 6 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

18 minutes ago, Understander said:

@Princess Arabia

Do all of them have those feelings about the same behavior? I guess it has to be different, even a little bit.

No, as I mentioned in my response to Concept just now, it depends on who is perceiving. I have a higher tolerance maybe because of what I do or because of my open-mind.

Edited March 6 by Princess Arabia

[Nemra]

@Princess Arabia

So, I guess what men get wrong is that when they talk to one or a few women of nearly the same type, they generalize women from those experiences. So either they have to change themselves or they should find other women if it's assumed that they mostly know what's attractive to them. I'm not saying they have to continue to be the same way (a creep), but they could find someone who'll accept that behavior. I think there have to be some behaviors that most women find creepy.

But also, why should men change themselves to something else that's not natural for them? That could also be said for women. I think authenticity, self-honesty, and open-mindedness matter here.

Edited March 6 by Understander

[Princess Arabia]

7 minutes ago, Understander said:

@Princess Arabia

So, I guess what men get wrong is that when they talk to one or a few women of nearly the same type, they generalize women from those experiences. So either they have to change themselves or they should find other women if it's assumed that they mostly know what's attractive to them. I'm not saying they have to continue to be the same way (a creep), but they could find someone who'll accept that behavior. I think there have to be some behaviors that most women find creepy.

But also, why should men change themselves to something else that's not natural for them? That could also be said for women. I think authenticity matters here.

You're looking at it from a very mature way and i like your perspective on it. Yeah, I think certain ways of acting most people would find creepy as in walking around with your tongue hanging out at every woman that walks by but there are subtle ways how people can act to make certain people feel creeped out.

I don't think a guy should really have to or should worry about coming off as a creep if he's respectable and is of sound mind and uses proper judgement and common sense, though.

''

Edited March 6 by Princess Arabia

[Creatorbeing]

I think it's a mental thing.If in a relationship with this or that person, so now we can do anything, it's a society based learning. 

Woman mostly believe in social values and care about their image,that's why u hear them say I  believe in horoscope, etc 

Tarot card whatever, because they believe in lucky number stuff,so to them relationship person is all ok it's a mental thing.

Others look creep not because they are,but because of ego,each person has ego and the way to protect your ego is to see other as less or evil etc and self is nice person  based on pure assumption rather than factual evidence. 

That's woman nature to protect ego, because the idea of a man not wanting them is hurtful, so to project they are after me and creep sustains ego

Edited March 6 by Creatorbeing

[mr_engineer]

On 3/5/2024 at 2:44 PM, Consept said:

Imagine talking for literal years on a forum about how you should be allowed to be creepy towards women, whilst never actually talking to any women irl. This is peak Internet. 

Let's say you win this argument @mr_engineer and everyone agrees with you, youll still be in the position. Just go out and talk to women, theyre not that bad i promise 

The fact that all of you resorted to personally attacking me, saying that 'I'm not going out and talking to women' or 'I'm not getting laid' or 'I'm giving my power away to women' or 'I'm socially inadequate' or 'I'm complaining', already tells me that I've won the argument. You people are saying any nonsense about me, just to deflect from the main points I'm making. 

I don't need your 'help', I never asked for it. Why should I trust what you have to say, when you're making these assumptions about me?! Why should I assume that you're being objective about other things, if you can't even be objective about me?! 

The reality is that you don't know ANYTHING about me. ANYTHING. I'm fully anonymous on here. Everything you're saying about me is assumed. 

Edited March 12 by mr_engineer

[mr_engineer]

The reason I'm having this conversation is that I want to make a suggestion. And here it goes - If we just ban the words 'creep/creepy' and 'toxic masculinity' from dating-discourse, everyone's lives will be better. 

What do you think of this suggestion? 

[meta_male]

16 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

The reason I'm having this conversation is that I want to make a suggestion. And here it goes - If we just ban the words 'creep/creepy' and 'toxic masculinity' from dating-discourse, everyone's lives will be better. 

What do you think of this suggestion? 

Girls getting taken advantage of by creeps and toxic men won't have a better life. You just can't accept the fact that you're a creep. So what? I'm a creep too. So is every human being. Have you ever seen a real person? They're creepy as fuck when you think about it. Just accept your creepiness so you can move on.

[mr_engineer]

On 3/5/2024 at 9:46 PM, Israfil said:

You're simply using sophistry to justify your social inadequacy.

If this is not a personal attack, I don't know what is. You don't know jack shit about me and you're telling me that I'm being 'socially inadequate'. 

On 3/5/2024 at 9:46 PM, Israfil said:

Thirdly, be open to the possibility that people on a self-development forum are interested in helping you develop yourself. Your defensiveness is only detrimental to both your social and intellectual development. Your refusal to engage with comments that challenge more deeply your convictions might be holding you back in the endeavor of constructing a more coherent worldview.

I don't trust you people to help me 'develop myself'. That's a lot of power I don't wish to give you people, because of the assumptions and personal-attacks. 

Right now, the point of discussion is about the ground-rules of dating-discourse. What I'm saying is that because 'creep' is an ad-hominem attack in bad faith, it shouldn't be a part of dating-discourse. What do you think of that?!