for fucks sake it's been 4 years and i'm still randomly having reactivations at night

[khalifa]

when does this shit stop? it's getting annoying

 

i mean sure i'm used to it but it's like a roller coaster, just when i think it's never coming again, nope just another day of a random night of hello, here's a weak baby dose of 5meo

 

this crap seriously has given me some serious PTSD/GAD chronic anxiety, never felt the same since 2019

 

the current symptoms i'm facing is 24/7 uneasyness anxiety, vibrations on my body, overwhelmed throat and tightness in chest.

my memory has taken a big hit too, sometimes i can't even tell if i've showered for the day or not, i used to have amazing memory before it, it has made me less assertive since i don't like to wrong anyone by being arrogant, and i start doubting my memory, my confidence has taken a big blow, i feel weaker than what i used to be mentally, noticed weak impulse control too, i feel like i'm a different nerfed like person that's unstable with his mind, i no longer feel stable with my well being and thoughts, it feels like i have some sort of ocd at times

[strangelooper]

That's just duality at work. Enjoy.

[BipolarGrowth]

From what I’ve seen for myself and heard of from others, usually the only real antidote to calm the side effects of the awakening process is to go deeper. Eventually, the peak insights of the past can become ordinary and even unremarkable. It is hard to not get used to something which persists 24/7. Until you become incredibly familiar with radical territory, it will always have the potential to destabilize your life. 
 

I’m not trying to claim anything about your levels of attainment or awakening here. I’m merely pointing out that it is difficult to handle momentary peaks. It’s much easier for a life that is always at a peak to become second nature. 

[Keryo Koffa]

Sounds like that stark negative experience far out of your comfort zone led you to suppress a major part of yourself, which then spiraled into a loss of confidence which itself spiraled your doubting your ability to function which itself became a self-fulfilling prophecy

All I can say is that you need to go back. It's like you got burned while cooking and now never want to cook ever again but that's very restrictive and mirrors itself through insecurities all around life, so you need to slowly start facing that fear again and build your way towards it

[Scholar]

I don't know man, might be good to see a doctor. Never know what these chemicals do to your brain.

[Yimpa]

8 hours ago, khalifa said:

i no longer feel stable with my well being and thoughts, it feels like i have some sort of ocd at times

Go see a therapist who specializes with OCD. It took me over a year of hard work to overcome OCD. It’s not that it’s gone, I’ve just learned the proper skills to manage it.

[Someone here]

 Take Zyprexa..Invega...Prozac..melatonin .

[Yimpa]

Acceptance is key.

What will you accept yourself as?

Edited January 27, 2024 by Yimpa

[Schizophonia]

40 minutes ago, Someone here said:

 Take Zyprexa..Invega...Prozac..melatonin .

Why these drugs? I would especially not recommend an antipsychotic to someone who already visibly suffers from a neurological deficit (anxiety, memory problem, etc.).
This is not a recommendation because it seems toxic for the hippocampus, but for a big joint of a weed that is not very powerful, it completely suppresses the anxiety due to a recent event that is very stressful.

Edited January 27, 2024 by Schizophonia

[khalifa]

@strangelooper

 

 more like a consequence of playing russian roulette with my brain with a random hyped drug that i thought could solve all my suffering, all it's one is give me more issues to worry about all day

not the most ideal situation to be in, i'd be better off clean without it but i wouldn't know that back then that's the irony of buying into the hype

 

 

@Keryo Koffa  rubbish doing that for years now, used the mantra of this too shall pass plenty, it's just an unstable mind no thought can fix a panic attack in a moment but just watching it through, at least in my experience

 

@Yimpa acceptance of cult sheep thinking of this so called *awakening* mind land delusion? i still have bills to pay at the end of the day and take care of this body's wants and needs, it wasn't even worth pursuing seeing infinity at this point

the irony is i wouldn't have known it wasn't worth it since i've witnessed it and get it now, but the detrimental factors have more cons than pros at this point

[Yimpa]

Just now, khalifa said:

i still have bills to pay at the end of the day and take care of this body's wants and needs

Me too, but I tend not to be over cynical about it like I used to be.

[khalifa]

@Yimpa  to me it's more about being realistic than cynical, 5meo advertised as a cure for human suffering was pretty much a scam after i experienced, since now i am left with longterm phyiscal and mental health issues, i've just invited more suffering in my experience sadly

wish i didn't get on the hype train for it, would've dodged a good bullet

[Yimpa]

Just now, khalifa said:

5meo advertised as a cure for human suffering

Who ever said that that’s what it’s for? First time I’ve heard about this.

[khalifa]

@Yimpa  leo's old videos back in the day claimed awakening/enlightenment is the end goal for humans, i bought on the hype train

went emotional over logic, ofcourse his views changes from time to time he doesn't hold his old beliefs

i've been self actualizing since 2014 watching his channel weekly/religiously, did various self help books 25+ wasn't satisfied, so i thought 5meo would help but boy was i wrong, that was not what i needed, pretty much been living a detrimental life just wishing for an average healthy human days of my 20s, my mind and body legit feels like crappy 24/7, feels like an ongoing hell every moment and nothings really improving either for the past 4 years

i just hope i get to atleast get to average health someday in the future, if not it's going to be a pretty much crappy unideal life for me

[Breakingthewall]

@khalifa  

If it weren't for the fact that I think it's bad for health, I would do 5 meo every day. Do not vape 20mg every day, but moderate doses yes, I think it is extremely beneficial for energetic cleansing, it is a sensation of opening and dissolution of the body and the current energy configuration, which seems like a healthy reset and that always brings clear insights 

If 5meo is coming to you, maybe the best option is to get open to it. In fact, thinking about it, I would say that 5meo has completely changed my life. It has helped break a shitty wall that kept me prisoner, and it has opened an unlimited hole through which I feel the flow of life. The difference is total 

Edited January 27, 2024 by Breakingthewall

[Carl-Richard]

It's almost like we need widespread and integrated communities, teachers and practices that ensure safe spiritual exploration.

5-MeO reactivations would be an interesting neuroscientific study.

[Someone here]

2 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

Why these drugs? I would especially not recommend an antipsychotic to someone who already visibly suffers from a neurological deficit (anxiety, memory problem, etc.).

I have chronic anxiety disorder and these medicines have helped me chill the fuck out and be at ease with my miserable fucking existence. 

[Yimpa]

When all else fails…

 

[khalifa]

@Breakingthewall congratulations to you for playing russian roulette with your brain and winning the lottery of not being a prisoner in your brain, so how was your quality life improved? what can you do now that you couldn't do before 5meo? or do you just cope that your doing better mentally because a drug cult psychonat told you so and you just went with the narrative flow larping and parroting that it's great when it's nothing special but just another delusional philosophy perspective

can you guys stop parroting that bullshit of open up yourself to chronic anxiety, i've been doing that for years now since it started and guess what you can't open up to chronic anxiety because the body's chem balance is just unstable it has nothing to do with opening up, everybodys body/dna is different and it doesn't work the same way with psychs, hence the different random results

[Yimpa]

I personally have never done 5-MeO, so I wouldn’t know. How many times have you people done it..?