Guys! Stop Seeing It As A "Rejection".

[CARDOZZO]

Rejection is better than success.

 

[Yimpa]

Start with observing how you talk to yourself. Notice all the negative self-talk, doubts, and insecurities.

How does this relate to approaching? By approaching, you are fundamentally looking to challenge core beliefs about yourself. The other person has something to offer, a new perspective, that you deny within yourself. 

Avoiding and rejecting yourself is what keeps you stuck. So, ultimately, the solution starts with yourself. Acknowledge your self-hatred, and work towards lessening it. It’ll be much easier to approach others when you realize that they are you in another form. 

When you avoid and reject yourself, you are avoiding and rejecting others as well.

[lostingenosmaze]

4 hours ago, PurpleTree said:

I want to put you on ignore for this

but i don’t know how 🥲

Go to Account > Ignored Users at the bottom. There you can type their name

[Princess Arabia]

3 minutes ago, lostingenosmaze said:

Go to Account > Ignored Users at the bottom. There you can type their name

He's just gonna ignore these instructions. 

[Yimpa]

Rejection is when you cannot take on the perspective of another and only think about yourself.

You reject you reject you reject you.

Rejection grows you when you expose yourself to it head-on. 

[Tenebroso]

@Princess Arabia

Interesting post. I feel there is some truth in your post. However......

Why does the universe arrange for some people to be rejected constantly while others live in romantic and sexual abundance despite being overtly harmful, dishonest and abusive ?

You can't expect men to be rejected constantly without building resentment. There is only so much resolve and 'inner love' you can fall back on. Regardless of one's spiritual development, the reality remains that we live in a physical world and constant reminder of your lack of worthiness chips away at your soul. 

So the universe is doing it's thing in telling me I am useless and unwanted. Why would the universe want me to come into physical form to experience such humiliation? I don't know how women and the virtue seeking men who seek a pat on the back for being one of the good ones think we are supposed to feel. Our feelings do not matter?

My feeling is that deep down women wish all the undesirable men would just drop dead or silently retreat out of society somewhere, maybe that is the best option. The men who do attract a lot of women don't seem to be treating them right but what do I know, the universe is in charge.

Edited November 27, 2023 by Tenebroso

[Yimpa]

6 hours ago, CARDOZZO said:

Rejection is better than success.

Rejection, faced gracefully, leads to your long-term success.

[Leo Gura]

The problem isn't in the rejection per se, the problem is that the guy is investing energy and the girl doesn't get attracted and chooses another guy instead. Which obviously doesn't feel good.

The bottom line is that the girl is filtering out the lower quality guys. So it's not merely apples vs oranges. The lack of attraction IS based on objective factors. The more a guy fall into the low quality zone the worse it feels precisely because it feels like he is getting rejected for objective qualities which he inherently lacks.

Of course the solution is to not care, but this becomes hard if no one wants to sleep with you.

Edited November 27, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, Tenebroso said:

@Princess Arabia

Interesting post. I feel there is some truth in your post. However......

Why does the universe arrange for some people to be rejected constantly while others live in romantic and sexual abundance despite being overtly harmful, dishonest and abusive ?

You can't expect men to be rejected constantly without building resentment. There is only so much resolve and 'inner love' you can fall back on. Regardless of one's spiritual development, the reality remains that we live in a physical world and constant reminder of your lack of worthiness chips away at your soul. 

So the universe is doing it's thing in telling me I am useless and unwanted. Why would the universe want me to come into physical form to experience such humiliation? I don't know how women and the virtue seeking men who seek a pat on the back for being one of the good ones think we are supposed to feel. Our feelings do not matter?

My feeling is that deep down women wish all the undesirable men would just drop dead or silently retreat out of society somewhere, maybe that is the best option. The men who do attract a lot of women don't seem to be treating them right but what do I know, the universe is in charge.

I get what you're saying and youve been saying this for a while now with the same tone. I don't want to get in a debate with you, but here's what I'm saying as far as the Universe part, which is really you, BTW. 

If you're constantly feeling that way you're only going to keep getting the same results. You probably won't understand this and think its some mumbo jumbo or disagree but how we react to things is very important to what comes our way. The Universe knows nothing about bad feelings, rejections and bad mouthing, it only can read your frequency and vibration, so those feelings that come when you're thinking those thoughts and reacting the way you do, is just going to bring more circumstances to you that matches that. Maybe not the exact situation but similiar. Why? Because any reaction symbolizes a preference. You like this, here's some more. That's why it's imperative to just ignore the things that doesn't serve you and react more to the things that do. I have seen this time and.time again in my experience. Both ways. 

I try to change my perspective on things that are important to me and try not to put too much energy on what doesn't.  Reality is not set in stone and it.is.constantly shifting and expanding and is revolving around you as Consciousness to suit you. You're just.not aware of how it is happening and that it is happening. 

This is.a brief explanation and I don't expect you to get it here, but why don't you just try to change your perspective about how you see this. Understand that these perceived bad guys that are getting the girls don't see themselves as.bad, they think they're the shit or they don't go around paying attention to other people, they are reacting to what they like and are seeing results because of that. They may be narcissistic but narcissistic men are usually full of themselves.and emit a.kind of energy that says yes this.is what I want and I'll get it because I'm all that. It won't be a pleasant relationship but that doesn't matter in this regard. 

Work on how you see the situation, see yourself as worthy, stop reacting to women who "reject you", change your beliefs, see women as worthy of you, build yourself up so you can feel worthy, not saying financially, but the way you are, how you act, the things you say to yourself and others etc.etc. 

Make this a month's project and I guarantee you'll start to meet women who are into you and who would want to date you, but you would have to change your state and how you see yourself first.

[Cocolove]

As far as the whole lobster effect I do feel like it can be kind of a physiological affect on your state when you get rejected.

It can just easily be overcome with the kind of mental framework @Princess Arabia is talking about, and just working on your state.

[Princess Arabia]

41 minutes ago, Cocolove said:

As far as the whole lobster effect I do feel like it can be kind of a physiological affect on your state when you get rejected.

It can just easily be overcome with the kind of mental framework @Princess Arabia is talking about, and just working on your state.

The more you feel rejected, the more of a toll it takes on your psyche, true. That's why I'm suggesting they don't take it personally. 

The more approaches you make, the more :rejections". Since that is what society agrees upon, then men will go through this more than women. 

There are no rule books that says men should do the approaching, we created that and now we're feeling the effects of that ridiculous rule. Be ladylike, don't approach men, don't like sex, don't wear too short of a skirt, don't do this don't do that. See what it creates.

[Hojo]

12 hours ago, HMD said:

@Princess Arabia It certainly appears as a rejection. Generally, men take rejection to heart because women’s validation for them is the proof that their genes are good enough for propagation. And when a woman rejects us, at a subconscious level it’s like saying “you may be good as a friend but I don’t think your genes deserve to be carried on”.

And this forces us to improve ourselves. I think women rejecting men is a good thing. If men start seeing it as just them making another choice they’ll become lazy and egoic. 

I thought thats what the post meant

do not lower yourself mentally because you feel a woman rejected you cause she isnt.

the rejection is something you can control and she is saying

it appears as rejection because you are projecting rejection but its not happening is what the post says.

It appears as rejection because you are in a state of self victimization

the ego wants you to feel unworthy

Edited November 27, 2023 by Hojo

[Yimpa]

Being rejected is an act of Love.

You may now choose how to respond to rejection, rather than letting it consume you without your consent. 

Edited November 27, 2023 by Yimpa

[Bazooka Jesus]

On 26.11.2023 at 3:39 PM, Princess Arabia said:

I'm a female, so take it from me, we are not always rejecting you, perse, if we don't give you a number, go on a date or even acknowledge your approaches. It's not always about you. It's called making another choice. 

If you chose to buy apples instead of oranges are you rejecting the oranges? No, you just chose to buy apples instead. If you didn't like how a particular shirt fit your taste and you chose to buy another shirt, we're you rejecting the other shirt? No, you chose the one that suited you best. 

I see so many comments on here about how "she rejected me". No, she made another choice. Whatever you're doing in a particular moment something else is not being done. It's not always a rejection of one thing to chose something else. Sometimes, but not always.

This is why we need to get over ourselves. I don't want to turn this into  Spiritual mumbo jumbo, but the Universe is doing it's thing and is rearranging circumstances to align with your core being and giving you what you ask for. But it doesn't happen on a physical level but on a mental level. 

That so-called "rejection" might just be what you asked for. You don't know if she was the right fit for you but the Universe did, based on your alignment with it. People are constantly being selected and deselectted from your life without your conscious doing without you even realizing this is happening. 

Bottomline, try not to take things personally, not in a "I don't give a fuck" way or, "her loss", or "I'm not good enough" way, but say to yourself "that's just not a right fit for me at the moment" kind of way. 

Women get approached all the time, attractive or not (attraction is relative). It is how we have set it up. Men do the approaching. We as a society created that norm. So, it's not that we're rejecting you, it's more about making another choice that is most suited for us, whether it's the right choice or not is left to be seen. IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU. IT'S NOT ALWAYS A REJECTION OF YOU. Infact, it almost never is.

But I am a VICTIM! And women are DEVILS! And life is UNFAIR! Gaaaaaaahhhh!!!

Just kidding.

Great message. Let's hope it lands with some of the regulars on here.

[Leo Gura]

16 hours ago, Squeekytoy said:

But nowhere is it written that you have to play evolution's game, or that this makes you any less of a man (or woman) in any other sense.

Except you are hardwired to crave and need sex. And if you fail to get it you will become dysfunctional.

Edited November 27, 2023 by Leo Gura

[thierry]

18 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

The problem isn't in the rejection per se, the problem is that the guy is investing energy and the girl doesn't get attracted and chooses another guy instead. Which obviously doesn't feel good.

The bottom line is that the girl is filtering out the lower quality guys. So it's not merely apples vs oranges. The lack of attraction IS based on objective factors. The more a guy fall into the low quality zone the worse it feels precisely because it feels like he is getting rejected for objective qualities which he inherently lacks.

Of course the solution is to not care, but this becomes hard if no one wants to sleep with you.

Are you sure about that ? Do you really think girl filter qualitys in guys cause it seems to me that they often chose a lower quality guys over a high one if we’re talking about real qualities. Qualities of the soul. I might be wrong but I don’t feel Women filter men based on what we could call objective factors. 

[Yimpa]

1 hour ago, thierry said:

Are you sure about that ?

Leo is sure about everything. Believe everything he says and you’ll get all the sex in the world 

[thierry]

9 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

Leo is sure about everything. Believe everything he says and you’ll get all the sex in the world 

😂😂😂 you got me here. I felt into this trap of believing so often since I discovered Actualized.org. 

[Leo Gura]

2 hours ago, thierry said:

Qualities of the soul.

Lol

That's not how fucking works.

[Jacob Morres]

Yeah I think a reframe is important here. To an extent it's similar to job hunting. There's gonna be a lot of rejecting and you need a good frame around it. I just see it as part of the process. It's to be expected that only 1-5% of jobs will consider you 

Lol

I think this dovetails nicely with the post on trauma someone made a few days ago here. Like one person might get traumatized from a rejection and another sees 1 rejection just as another number out of x 

Edited November 28, 2023 by Jacob Morres