I think I have been bulshitting myself

[PlayOnWords]

3 hours ago, Something Funny said:

But the thing is, I think I am just using this as an excuse because I am really afraid of addressing this part of my life: being social, going to parties, doing pickup, having relationships, etc. So I conveniently tell myself that I must focus on something else first. Because what I have is not enough.

Well done. Now go get em, tiger!

[Something Funny]

35 minutes ago, Jacob Morres said:

Hm in terms of affordability, you can get a girl even with $0 

Personality goes a long way 

If you look, you will see many guys who don't have money get girls 

I was talking more about sustaining a relationship later. Like what if she wants to travel, go out, birthday presents, etc.

13 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

Both problems I’m working on… Business/ finances and socializing and relationships.

I am 27, ain’t getting younger. The existential reality of aging is weighing on me.

Yeah. I am 23, but I feel the same way. Like I am behund the curve and need to get all of those things sorted asap. And I don't think it's healthy.

[Something Funny]

Why can't I do both though? This also has to be some sort of a limiting belief, right?

Why can't I just have a balanced lifestyle???

[Jacob Morres]

12 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

Why can't I do both though? This also has to be some sort of a limiting belief, right?

Why can't I just have a balanced lifestyle???

Possibly ?

Tbh I was under the impression I can only pursue 1 at a time too ;

But I think perhaps you can do both at once to an extent ?

Got curious and asked chatgpt;

Skip to my 2nd Q, I queried it wrong initially 

https://chat.openai.com/share/f26d36b1-880e-4437-82fb-be98692569cf

 

Edited July 19, 2023 by Jacob Morres

[Something Funny]

@Jacob Morres insteresting, thanks. I think I need to slow down and do things gradually, and do both. 

Idk.

[StarStruck]

Life is not linear like that. Especially when it comes to big topics like business success and socialization. Sometimes you have to go back one step to go forward two steps. It all comes down to finding your flow. 

Edited July 19, 2023 by StarStruck

[Leo Gura]

8 hours ago, Something Funny said:

so you think it would be a right decision to prioritise it over career and business success?

Only you can decide that.

[Yimpa]

21 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Only you can decide that.

Perfect.

People pleasing should be a crime.

[Thought Art]

In the end, I am working on myself. Maybe I just had a lot more healing and fundamentals work that I realized. When you have a lot of trauma, and didn't have strong enough role models... You have to heal and unlearn a lot of shit.  This week, I am working on my business, eating well and exercising.

I have Toastmasters, Salsa, and rock climbing through this week. Then breakfast with the family. I am working on everything here. Plus, I have time allotted for reading and contemplation. I have some time between tree planting contracts to think. 

[StarStruck]

What I found out is that you have to go all in and burn the boats whatever you do. One doesn’t want to make mistake but the most valuable thing is time. It is the most valuable capital which is time capital. Making mistakes isn’t even that expensive if you learn from them. Being stuck is very expensive. Especially your youthful years are golden. A rich man would pay millions to become 20 something again. Think about it, what is the point of being 80 and being millionaire? You probably couldn’t get your dick up if an 18 year old bend over backwards for you to save your life. 

Edited July 19, 2023 by StarStruck

[Lila9]

If you have to choose between acquiring social skills and relationship experience and between career and life purpose, if I was at your place I'd prioritize the first until I have a decent experience, until I feel relatively confident. You are still very young and it's eaiser to gain social experience in a young age than older, imo.

I know it's hard, I've been there as an introvert with SA, but many times you have to do the hardest thing for the sake of your own growth and future happiness, otherwise you will feel stacked.

Maybe jump to the water, check the temperature and see how it goes, take it step by step.

If I remember correctly you have a stable job and a stable income and I think that it's more than enough to sustain a long term relationship. Please don't worry too much about the material aspect, once you find the right girl, the most important thing for her would be your connection with each other, the relationship itself, rather than how much money you spend on her birthday or how many fun places you are taking her to.

Many times, ironically (because life is so counter intuitive and funny) the best dates happen in the simplest places, it really doesn't matter where the people are or how much money was spent but how two people feel about each other/around eachother.

 

[Something Funny]

@Leo Gura I knooow. I just wanted to get a confidence boost 

[Something Funny]

@Lila9 thank you for advise, especially about money. It's nice to hear a girl's perspective.

Yes, I have a stable job but I am basically living paycheck to paycheck. And I also wanted to invest some money into coaching/therapy and other stuff for myself.

[Something Funny]

@Leo Gura I honestly wonder why I can't just do it all at the same time. Normal people seem to be able to do so. My parents did that. My grandparents did that.

Why can't I do it?

[Something Funny]

@Thought Art wow, that's really cool. 

I've actually done some climbing myself in the past. And I've considered joining toastmasters but I am too afraid. How do the meetings usually look?

also, did you manage to get any friends or relationships from climbing/salsa/toastmasters?

[Thought Art]

@Something Funny

I find toast masters pretty fun, you can just go and watch the first time. I enjoy it and will continue to work on my speaking this year. It’s not scary once you go. The fear is projection. 
 

I’ve made some acquaintances from toast masters. It will be my first time going to this dance event this week. Also first time in a long time climbing. 
 

Made lots of friends while tree planting this summer. 

[Yimpa]

1 hour ago, Thought Art said:

In the end, I am working on myself. Maybe I just had a lot more healing and fundamentals work that I realized. When you have a lot of trauma, and didn't have strong enough role models... You have to heal and unlearn a lot of shit.  This week, I am working on my business, eating well and exercising.

I have Toastmasters, Salsa, and rock climbing through this week. Then breakfast with the family. I am working on everything here. Plus, I have time allotted for reading and contemplation. I have some time between tree planting contracts to think. 

Hell yeah! I can tell you’ve spent years building up to this, and it’s inspiring as hell.

I’M MY OWN ROLE MODEL BABY!

Edited July 19, 2023 by Yimpa

[Something Funny]

@Thought Art I see. How are the meetings organised. Do you prepare something before one, or do you just go and improvise?

[Thought Art]

@Something Funny There are different roles. When you first show up your a guest. You’ll have the option to try a table talk which is a 2 minute talk about a subject they give to you in the moment and you just riff on it. 
 

Each meeting has different roles you can sign up for it. 
 

Google for the general way a meeting flows and it’s roles. 

[Something Funny]

@Thought Art ok, thanks a lot