45mg 5-MeO-DMT Trip report

[Javfly33]

Roa: Hcl plugged

 

I Sit in lotus pose and put a powerful mantra of sadhguru called 'Aum Namah Shivaya'. I thought I was ready for what would come afterwards...

It started to come up...but this time stronger than any other time... way way stronger. I thought I Knew the limit of 5-MeO-DMT. 

The following 4-5 minutes (although they felt like a LIFETIME) were an horrendous time where there was a sudden intuition that this moment was all that there was. I could not think, I could not imagine, I could not nothing. Total confusion, I wanted to puke. I wanted it to end. But no thoughts were available, just total confusion NOW.

Then I surrendered .And I shouted my insides out what it felt like a lifetime of trauma, beliefs, and concepts of lack of self-love, of differences, or judgment, of DELUSION.

I didn't shouted like that in my life. That felt like a release of no other, the release I wanted all of my life. To feel completely in Love with myself. 

Overall I would say this as a far as 5-MeO-DMT plugged will take me. To total insanity, to then to a Total Brutal Explosive Love, to a Heaven that I was not ready. To a LOVE that can not be forgotten (but let's see how this integrates the following weeks).

What can I say? This is a fucking dream... believe it or not...the play is eternal, completely eternal...eternally playing thought stories in your head (or not), to avoid GOD, to avoid LOVE. Wow. What a fucking play this is. 

What a brilliant trick. What a masterpiece this is. Pure Masterpiece of Love. 

 

I dedicate this trip to my father, RIP. Your pain is My pain. I love you.

 

Edited July 13, 2023 by Javfly33

[Cireeric]

Pretty heavy dose! Would really like to hear about the afterglow and how it will integrate in your "ordinary" life/consciousness the next days/weeks.

[Javfly33]

35 minutes ago, Cireeric said:

Pretty heavy dose! Would really like to hear about the afterglow and how it will integrate in your "ordinary" life/consciousness the next days/weeks.

Definitely do not recommend doing this such a large dose. My max before was 35mg or so, and I wanted to push it because something told me I could go deeper and more clarity with 5-MeO.

I had luck that I didn't do nothing stupid, at some peak moments the intensity is so much you can easily damage yourself. 

But at the same time, when you are in the trip and all barriers fall down death does not exist.

But anyways If doing heavy dose best with a trip sitter.

17 minutes ago, Benton said:

What an epic trip.
Breaking through on a psychedelic really intensifies my regular practice during the integration period also.

 

Epic shit for sure ??

[tlowedajuicemayne]

Awesome trip report. Cheers friend 

[Leo Gura]

4 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

Overall I would say this as a far as 5-MeO-DMT plugged will take me.

Oh, it can take you a lot further. Your mind is still very impure given your reactions. Keep purifying your mind until you have no more negativity arising when you take 5-MeO-DMT. Then you will be ready to see some really cool stuff

But this is a great start.

Namaste

Edited July 13, 2023 by Leo Gura

[PurpleTree]

Nice. Did you do it alone?

[OBEler]

Very nice trip report thank you! 

[Javfly33]

7 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Oh, it can take you a lot further. Your mind is still very impure given your reactions. Keep purifying your mind until you have no more negativity arising when you take 5-MeO-DMT. Then you will be ready to see some really cool stuff

But this is a great start.

Namaste

really? ?‍? I will have to build an insane courage to want to go through that come up again.

But OK, ? I open my mind...definetely the degree of intensity of yesterday was x10 compared to my other trips...which I thought were the 'ultimate' and 'final' too Lmao.

7 hours ago, PurpleTree said:

Nice. Did you do it alone?

yeah. 

Edited July 14, 2023 by Javfly33

[Breakingthewall]

Great dose, but it's still not the real breakthrough. when it happens, the continuity of the apparent experience that is happening is broken, there is no more javifly, the limits disappear, you become infinite. Getting used to this is not easy at all, because it's violence. Seems impossible, but after a moment, happen. I haven't done it for a time, procrastinating, maybe tomorrow. It is an extremely useful spiritual exercise.

Edited July 15, 2023 by Breakingthewall

[Javfly33]

26 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

Great dose, but it's still not the real breakthrough. when it happens, the continuity of the apparent experience that is happening is broken, there is no more javifly, the limits disappear, you become infinite. Getting used to this is not easy at all, because it's violence. Seems impossible, but after a moment, happen. I haven't done it for a time, procrastinating, maybe tomorrow. It is an extremely useful spiritual exercise.

Man I don't think I´m doing this again lol what you guys get out of this 

After a couple of days of 'integration', I see that The torture and horror of the come-up is not worth the limitless state of consciousness that comes afterwards.

Also, I sent some cringy intimate audios while still high via WhatsApp to my housemate...always happens the same shit to me with psychedelics ? 

Edited July 15, 2023 by Javfly33

[Leo Gura]

6 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

I see that The torture and horror of the come-up

There is no torture for me. My come up is effortless. Just a few minutes of mild discomfort and nervousness.

If you experience torture and horror that just means you got a lot work to do purifying your mind.

Quote

Also, I sent some cringy intimate audios while still high via WhatsApp to my housemate...always happens the same shit to me with psychedelics ? 

You need to disconnect your internet every time before you trip.

Edited July 15, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Breakingthewall]

@Javfly33 imo the first few times it is better to vape, there is no time for anything mental. Let's say there's a breaking point, you either pass it or you don't. if you don't pass it, it can be unpleasant, but there can also be interesting insights. if you pass it, it happens. limits are broken. it is total, complete liberation. This does not mean that you realize that you are creating the appearance or realize that reality is a well of infinite love, these revelations may or may not occur, but what does happen is that now, in this instant, you are the infinity flowing. total freedom. there is nothing like it. this is what you want. you realize that all the time you are suffering a little, you are limited, imprisoned. now, for the first time in your life, you are free. you will dance and laugh. free. And probably you will realize what you are: everything. Unthinkable.

[Jowblob]

You guys are so brave taking 5 meo dmt , respect for that braveness. I had lsd sessions and went for an mdma session for the first time. That pressure/godly energy that keeps expanding your consciousness for what feels infinity is scary so i had to say stop when i reach my limit. I don't know where you all got your braveness from

[Javfly33]

10 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

@Javfly33 imo the first few times it is better to vape, there is no time for anything mental. Let's say there's a breaking point, you either pass it or you don't. if you don't pass it, it can be unpleasant, but there can also be interesting insights. if you pass it, it happens. limits are broken. it is total, complete liberation. This does not mean that you realize that you are creating the appearance or realize that reality is a well of infinite love, these revelations may or may not occur, but what does happen is that now, in this instant, you are the infinity flowing. total freedom. there is nothing like it. this is what you want. you realize that all the time you are suffering a little, you are limited, imprisoned. now, for the first time in your life, you are free. you will dance and laugh. free. And probably you will realize what you are: everything. Unthinkable.

I did that after the "horror" time...but now I am not liberated anymore...those were just 10-15min of "free flowing". I laughed for sure too ..

Although now I'm thinking, yes, I'm going to do this again lmao...these few days I have been observing how my mind is so full of darkness separation and judgments..on the trip that went completely away...maybe one of this session once a month wouldn't hurt ?

9 hours ago, Jowblob said:

You guys are so brave taking 5 meo dmt , respect for that braveness. I had lsd sessions and went for an mdma session for the first time. That pressure/godly energy that keeps expanding your consciousness for what feels infinity is scary so i had to say stop when i reach my limit. I don't know where you all got your braveness from

Personally, I wouldn't say this it was braveness. More than intuition that one deserves/must walk towards Light/Love. When I did the trip I was actually going to relapse in a very dark addiction, when all thoughts of darkness were there I just couldn't take it anymore and my best idea was doing this...

But I don't recommend doing psychedelics with this attitude... 

[Javfly33]

11 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

There is no torture for me. My come up is effortless. Just a few minutes of mild discomfort and nervousness.

If you experience torture and horror that just means you got a lot work to do purifying your mind.

You need to disconnect your internet every time before you trip.

Maybe it was too much a dose for my nervous system? I say horror because I really thought I was going to die, at one point it was hitting so intense that I couldn't know if I was breathing properly. Maybe that is too much.

 

Yeah, the phone you are so right...I'm absolutely locking my phone away next time I trip. I'm so tired of repenting myself of texting while still tripping.

[Leo Gura]

3 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

Maybe it was too much a dose for my nervous system? I say horror because I really thought I was going to die, at one point it was hitting so intense that I couldn't know if I was breathing properly. Maybe that is too much.

I know what you're talking about. I had that sort of panic reaction the first time I tried 5-MeO-DMT.

It's a panic response. You need to learn to control your mind, relax, and stay calm during a trip. If you let your mind run wild you will start to panic and devolve into all sorts of madness.

Obviously the larger the dose the more likely you are to panic and lose control of your mind.

Quote

Yeah, the phone you are so right...I'm absolutely locking my phone away next time I trip. I'm so tired of repenting myself of texting while still tripping.

We've all made that mistake more than once. Haha

Edited July 16, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Fluran]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

I know what you're talking about. I had that sort of panic reaction the first time I tried 5-MeO-DMT.

It's a panic response. You need to learn to control your mind, relax, and stay calm during a trip. If you let your mind run wild you will start to panic and devolve into all sorts of madness.

 

on third dose which was just 17mg, starting from extreme calmness but gradually I faced Intense nihilism that is tearing world apart.

[Leo Gura]

2 minutes ago, Fluran said:

gradually I faced Intense nihilism that is tearing world apart.

That's personal baggage you gotta process and get out of your system.

[Thought Art]

[Jowblob]

@Leo Gura  Wil liberation happen to everyone first? Meaning, free from suffering food/water and you're just being a witness to everything and being aware of your physical body, this is also where life really starts happening because if solipsism is truth it makes sense for the only "one" to keep expanding in consciousness as in my own environment in real life i keep seeing like everyone is at the same place after years pass but i keep progressing?

 

And Leo why do we want to awake? What are the benefits of that compared to our current life? All i can see with my current life is that when i keep awakening, i keep having more and more understanding and more pain about myself my past actions my mother , life , how life is constructed etc. 

Edited July 16, 2023 by Jowblob