I dont like cold approach

[Chives99]

I personally it feel its very inappropriate and obnoxious to be chatting girls up whilst their busy going  about their day you are imposing, you dont have a right to force yourself on someone thats not nice, if its a social place , so your work colleagues or social event or occasion thats perfectly fine to chat to them, because thats  a place where you meet people and socialise thats its entire purpose, and guys go out with their work mates to some pubs or bars or whatever after work, its all about being part of something so you can relate, you get inivited to a wedding great lots of singles there surely. flirt with that cute coworker smile and look happy at her she'll feel your joy and want you to give it to her, even if you go out with your mates to a club or work colleagues whatever talk to women you meet there , theyre meant for socialising, Girls want you, they just want it to be in the right situation, if you werent so needly and desperate u wouldnt struggle so much, you can always improve your social skills and conversation skills, its never too late for you, believe in yourself, be vulnerable , put everything on the line, this goes for both sexes , you fall in love, to fall means to surrender control and manipulation, it happens just as the sun is shining, your cells respiring and the earths systems are ongoing constantly, its all just happening.

Edited February 6, 2023 by Chives99

[NoSelfSelf]

You think like a female,you care too much about everyone but yourself...

Its all about influence,impact,direction and thinking like this,how are you doing it in social setting, i dont get it...waiting for it to fall into place by situational happening?

Im attacking the mentality because i dont get it so want an explanation...

Edited February 6, 2023 by NoSelfSelf

[Chives99]

@NoSelfSelf im  not saying you cant approach women in  a social setting, but when a girl is going about her day she doesnt want attention from strangers 

Edited February 6, 2023 by Chives99

[NoSelfSelf]

@Chives99 Why do you care about what she wants and not what you want...do you see you just made her more important than yourself?

[Chives99]

3 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Chives99 Why do you care about what she wants and not what you want...do you see you just made her more important than yourself?

thats so selfish and entitled you arent entitled to anyones attention , good luck getting a girlfriend with that attitude

[NoSelfSelf]

@Chives99 Ofcourse im selfish just like you ;),my job is to do what im set up to do, its not my job to care if shes gonna give me attention or not,im allowed to apporach, shes allowed to say no...but this attitude like omg shes so precious that i need to take care of her before myself is weak,and saying good luck having girlfriend: i would rather have my rights to  put my needs and what i want first ,than to put her above me and do things for her just so she can be with me jikes 😅

[koyadr3]

I think the same as you, I don't like cold approach too

[vindicated erudite]

Social circle beats cold approaching.

[NoSelfSelf]

@vindicated erudite In growing not even comparable..

[vindicated erudite]

35 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@vindicated erudite In growing not even comparable..

what's your thinking behind this?

[NoSelfSelf]

@Judy2 Feel free to pm

@vindicated erudite im assuming you are saying that social circle is better to get girls if so then thinking that way its better lets say but its not for personal growth which i put beyond girls...

[CARDOZZO]

@Chives99

Cold approach is one of the most hard things to do, especially when you're a beginner.

The best possible thing to do is develop a new way of seeing cold approach.

Best Frames:

• Skills-Acquiring Mindset.
• Social Scientist.
• Putting pressure on yourself to test your presence- to-the-moment-levels.
• Connection/Giving.
• Consciousness Researcher. 

You're not doing it just for the sex/women, but actually developing skills like voice-projection, sales, communication skills, social intelligence, humor, emotional mastery, freedom. 

NLP helps a lot when you're in the beginning of cold approach. 

The kiss, number, sex, approval is just the icing on the cake.

But I have to admit, seeing a lot of your beliefs about women being crashed in front of your eyes is amazing and cold approach shows that.

Try it dude, it's awesome.

 

Edited February 6, 2023 by CARDOZZO

[Raze]

Do social circle then

[something_else]

14 hours ago, Chives99 said:

I personally it feel its very inappropriate and obnoxious to be chatting girls up whilst their busy going  about their day you are imposing, you dont have a right to force yourself on someone thats not nice, if its a social place , so your work colleagues or social event or occasion thats perfectly fine to chat to them, because thats  a place where you meet people and socialise thats its entire purpose, and guys go out with their work mates to some pubs or bars or whatever after work, its all about being part of something so you can relate, you get inivited to a wedding great lots of singles there surely. flirt with that cute coworker smile and look happy at her she'll feel your joy and want you to give it to her, even if you go out with your mates to a club or work colleagues whatever talk to women you meet there , theyre meant for socialising, Girls want you, they just want it to be in the right situation, if you werent so needly and desperate u wouldnt struggle so much, you can always improve your social skills and conversation skills, its never too late for you, believe in yourself, be vulnerable , put everything on the line, this goes for both sexes , you fall in love, to fall means to surrender control and manipulation, it happens just as the sun is shining, your cells respiring and the earths systems are ongoing constantly, its all just happening.

Cold approach during the day is weird, my opinion on it fluctuates a lot. It's the kind of thing where coming up with a definitive yes or no for whether it's acceptable is near impossible. You have to judge case by case.

Plenty of guys who don't even know what pickup is talk to girls during the day, you see it a lot if you look, and they are by no means creepy (for the most part), they are often very confident. Mostly these are dudes who are just going about their day normally rather than going out specifically to approach girls and I think that's the key difference.

They don't leave their house to go to their local high street on a Saturday morning and talk to every girl they see, they just talk to girls they see as they go about their day.

But even then, a lot of dudes who do the former style of hardcore cold approach during the day still get excellent results from it, so how can you complain? I notice many of them often have elaborate lies they make up to tell women they about why they are out, and I think that again highlights the key point here which is that leaving your house specifically to approach girls during the day is the creepy part. Not actually talking to girls you see during the day.

[NoSelfSelf]

@CARDOZZO Nice post 👏

[CARDOZZO]

@NoSelfSelf

Thanks bro

[Leo Gura]

6 hours ago, Chives99 said:

but when a girl is going about her day she doesnt want attention from strangers

Dude, if you do a solid approach, with humor, with a genuine compliment, the girl will be flattered. Just don't be a creep. Girls love talkative, charming guys. Especially if you are a quality guy, the girl will appreciate that you approached her.

Edited February 6, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Vrubel]

@Chives99 If it was easy everybody would be doing it. You can only make it easy by massive experience. 

If a woman is not impressed by your presence, don't bother with her. If you truly click with a girl she will literally be attracted to you when you approach. Before even stating intent she will come closer to you and light up.
If you negatively "bother" the girl, she will let you know by not investing and looking bored/unimpressed. The general energy will be off and too much pushing will feel needy. She either clicks within the first 10 seconds or not. But of course, it is also possible to just have pleasant conversations with girls who are not interested.

If you feel you are selling yourself or proving yourself to a girl, this means you have a subtle neediness. I had this lately where I approached the girl, and it immediately clicked. She actually closed me but also told me she is extremely busy in her life, this subtly pushed me out of my relaxed state and I started pushing more for a set date. I became a seller and I could see this turned her off a little. 

Edited February 6, 2023 by Vrubel

[vindicated erudite]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Dude, if you do a solid approach, with humor, with a genuine compliment, the girl will be flattered. Just don't be a creep. Girls love talkative, charming guys. Especially if you are a quality guy, the girl will appreciate that you approached her.

OP has said in the past he has autism. How is he supposed to know he's done all the above correctly?

[vladorion]

Essentially, you have to get comfortable with making people uncomfortable for your own selfish gain i.e. become a little bit of a sociopath.