Chives99

I dont like cold approach

83 posts in this topic

No pain, no gain!! Where's your ambition?

Edited by MarkKol

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I've been cold approached once by a girl in the streets. I thought she was a street fundraiser and blew her off as a reflex. In hindsight I realised she was actually hitting on me. It's definetily flattering to be hit on, atleast from the males perspective.

I think being direct with your intentions without being obnoxious or creepy isn't going to put people off necesarrily. It helps to find a good setting though.

Either way, approaching someone in of itself, not a big deal.

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1 hour ago, vladorion said:

Essentially, you have to get comfortable with making people uncomfortable for your own selfish gain i.e. become a little bit of a sociopath.

I would say don't be afraid to "slightly inconvenience", if you're making women feel uncomfortable you're doing something fundamentally wrong. Always be in tune with her state/general vibe and be graciously polite. 

The foundation of day game is, don't be a creep. This means:

Don't startle her, be aware, be in intune, have decent clothes, no robotic lines, no aggressiveness/anger in your energy, don't be a needy hobo, no (excessive) pushing. Don't spam approach, don't approach girls that are clearly not your type and you don't find genuinely attractive, be subtle, Don't walk around as some kind of  "hunter" of hot girls, and don't draw (excessive) attention.

In this framework, you can be an audacious wolf and not the town's crazy person. 
And when the girl is into you she will still love being stared at with your creepy unblinking crazy eyes and sly smile(;

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These are just imagined modern social rules you want to obey to.

In reality communication is very natural for humans.

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@Leo Gura  

Why are you making generalizations? All girls are not the same and have the same taste, same thing with guys. There are girls who like quiet, calm and modest guys. The mentality that all girls like talkative, macho narcissistic guys "Tate types" is nothing more than a cultural trend,

 

 

Edited by hugoalfven

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@hugoalfven Day game is actually relatively low energy so perfect for calm guys (especially if you're cool and mysterious) though you still need to present yourself to the girl, be light and do some talking. Most girls are definitely not into macho over masculine guys, he only attracts a specific type of woman. I think everybody has a certain type of the opposite sex he or she consistently attracts. 

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Dude if you dont like cold approach just do online dating.

It can work very well.

Dont listen to the negative talk here about you having to be super handsome or any of that bullshit, almost any guy can get results from it if they take care of themselves, usually their pictures suck for it.

Also you can do social circle, go to events, meetups etc.

95% of the population does not do cold approach yet they still get laid/gfs.

Edited by Karmadhi

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@Karmadhi Generally I don't recommend cold approach to people that are extroverted and meet new people naturally all the time. Sure, you can try online game but it is true that only a select percentage of the male population will have success with it and let alone getting genuinely hot girls. 

Realistically cold approach is a solution for seriously introverted guys. 

 

1 hour ago, Karmadhi said:

95% of the population does not do cold approach yet they still get laid/gfs.

The percentage of young men that can get laid or have girlfriends is shockingly low. If you're introverted and online game doesn't work for you, cold approach is basically your best option then. If I would do social circle game and be social a lot I would be very miserable in life and with cold approach, I don't have to fundamentally change my lifestyle into one that does not authentically fit me. 

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2 hours ago, Vrubel said:

Sure, you can try online game but it is true that only a select percentage of the male population will have success with it and let alone getting genuinely hot girls.

You need very specific photos for it to work, it is not a matter of how good looking you are as a matter of your specific photos, it is almost like a forumula. If you want I can tell you what it is, i have observed it from people I know that do well there. One example is a below average looking guy that got laid few times from it in couple of weeks. The rest are normal looking and they do quite good in it. Being a Chad is not necessary with the right pictures. I used to believe u had to be a chad until reality beat me under submission.

2 hours ago, Vrubel said:

If I would do social circle game and be social a lot I would be very miserable in life and with cold approach, I don't have to fundamentally change my lifestyle into one that does not authentically fit me. 

A social life is important for overall happiness. But I get your point.

Edited by Karmadhi

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12 hours ago, hugoalfven said:

@Leo Gura  

Why are you making generalizations? All girls are not the same and have the same taste, same thing with guys. There are girls who like quiet, calm and modest guys. The mentality that all girls like talkative, macho narcissistic guys "Tate types" is nothing more than a cultural trend,

You don't have to be Tate-like.

You can do approaches in your own style. You can do very simple, gentle approaches. It doesn't have to be flashy. But you must approach and be talkative. Girls DO appreciate easy-going talkative charming guys.

Edited by Leo Gura

You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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5 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

You don't have to be Tate-like.

You can do approaches in your own style. You can do very simple, gentle approaches. It doesn't have to be flashy. But you must approach and be talkative. Girls DO appreciate easy-going talkative charming guys.

Tate is not a fan of pickup. He said it multiple times. He says you should just introduce yourself and demonstrate value as a man. 

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12 hours ago, hugoalfven said:

@Leo Gura  

 The mentality that all girls like talkative, macho narcissistic guys "Tate types" is nothing more than a cultural trend,

This is way more than just a "cultural trend."

The reason girls like tall, strong, dominant guys is because those are all very adaptive traits for surviving in nature - which is what we did for most of our evolutionary past; and the reason girls like talkative, social, humorous guys is because those traits are very adaptive for keeping social cohesion - which was essential for survival for an also very significant period of our phylogenetic past.

You can certainly transcend these preferences, but it's not clear to me whether this is progress or degeneracy.

Edited by Nilsi

“We are most nearly ourselves when we achieve the seriousness of the child at play.” - Heraclitus

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1 minute ago, StarStruck said:

Tate is not a fan of pickup. He said it multiple times. He says you should just introduce yourself and demonstrate value as a man. 

Aka pick up.


“We are most nearly ourselves when we achieve the seriousness of the child at play.” - Heraclitus

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22 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

Tate is not a fan of pickup. He said it multiple times. He says you should just introduce yourself and demonstrate value as a man. 

He's not wrong here. That's the most solid type of pickup.

Pickup is truly nothing more than approach, be in a fun mood, hold conversation, flirt, escalate, lead.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

He's not wrong here. That's the most solid type of pickup.

Pickup is truly nothing more than approach, be in a fun mood, hold conversation, flirt, escalate, lead.

Pick up is sub communication. The words are just the cherry on top of the sub communication. 

Most important insight I had with dating is that girls mostly listen to your sub communication. 

By it she knows if you want to just dick her down and leave or if you like her and want more. 

Most of the time you don’t even have to provide a lot of good energy if you are oke looking. Just not begging for pussy and asking approval or something is more than enough to get your foot between the door. 

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11 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

Pick up is sub communication.

Absolutely.

But it is crucial to be able to maintain a conversation. The words don't matter so much but holding conservation is a kind of sub-communication and it is key to getting laid.

Developing that skill was one of my biggest challenges.

Edited by Leo Gura

You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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@Chives99 If you werent so needly and desperate u wouldnt struggle so much to cold approach. You can always improve your social skills and conversation skills, its never too late for you, believe in yourself, be vulnerable , put everything on the line.

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1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Pickup is truly nothing more than approach, be in a fun mood, hold conversation, flirt, escalate, lead

Been saying it for years. Some people... Just. Don't. Get it...

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1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

The words don't matter so much but holding conservation is a kind of sub-communication and it is key to getting laid.

Yes, but don't talk yourself out of the sex.

This is why lawyers advice to not talk to the police.

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37 minutes ago, Arcangelo said:

@Chives99 If you werent so needly and desperate u wouldnt struggle so much to cold approach. You can always improve your social skills and conversation skills, its never too late for you, believe in yourself, be vulnerable , put everything on the line.

that sounds like something i said in another thread wait which reality is this?


"You have to allow yourself to not know"- Peter Ralston

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