Going To A Bar With Work Colleagues / Advice needed

[Something Funny]

So my team leader is leaving our company and invited everyone for a farewell meeting in a bar next Friday. I am definitely going because she's been an awesome team leader, she's been very supportive and nice to me since I've joined the team and in general we are on a good friendly terms.

The issue is that it's literally just bar with drinks. No food at all. And according to the menu there are only:

- alcoholic drinks

- sugary cocktails with soda and stupid names

- non alcoholic beer and wine

And I don't want to drink any of that shit...

Should I just sit there without ordering anything? Should I bring my own drinks (mushroom tea maybe? XD)?

I am introverted and a bit awkward as is, so being the odd one out doesn't help. Also I don't want to look like a snob / mood killer.

What is the best way to handle this situation?

[NoSelfSelf]

Order water ?

[Something Funny]

@NoSelfSelf with lemon ?

Seriously though, yeah, I guess this is what I will do. I can already hear all the questions and comments and funny looks in my mind

[NoSelfSelf]

@Something Funny Yeah and find all the best replys to each to put you in position you want to be...

[Something Funny]

@NoSelfSelf  "I am here to spend time with you guys, not to get drunk ?"

Haha

[NoSelfSelf]

@Something Funny Nice one ?

[Kshantivadin]

3 hours ago, Something Funny said:

@NoSelfSelf  "I am here to spend time with you guys, not to get drunk ?"

Haha

Fuck them tbh. Own your health. I don't drink, I'm an athlete. End of story. After some time you get respect from the real ones. Especially when they see that you are literally more fun sober than they are when drunk. 

[Tyler Robinson]

No need to get drunk to please others. 

[flowboy]

RSDTyler carried powdered green tea with him, so he could order a whiskey glass with water, sprinkle it in, and look like he was drinking whiskey.

Purely to make the others more comfortable.

[UDT]

@Something Funny Please dont be the mood killer saying "one water please"

Order someting or do the green tea whiskey trick. Nothing screams "snowflake" as much as "one water pleaaaasee"

[Something Funny]

@flowboy that won't work when you already come there together with a group though.

And, doing this when approaching girls is kind of shady imo. She will think that you are getting drunk and will drink herself, while you are staying sober. I don't like that, kind of manipulative. 

Maybe you can use it as joke to ease the tensions, haha.

@UDT I don't care

[Something Funny]

Ha, I went and only drank water with ice and lemon.

And it went great 

First of all, nobody gave a fuck that much. Especially, since I handled the situation with humour.

Secondly I wasn't that awkward or closed off / shy at all. I participated in conversations, even initiated some, laughed and had a pretty good time in general.

Sure, I wasn't  the sould of the company, there were a few moments with uncomfortable silence where I didn't know what to talk about, and one awkward hug when I was leaving, but in general it is a big stepforward for me.

I am also really glad and proud of myself for having balls to be myself and do the right thing 

Thank you for support guys!

P.S. my teamleader was amazing. I am so sad that she is leaving.

Edited January 28, 2023 by Something Funny

[Miguel1]

2 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

Sure, I wasn't  the sould of the company, there were a few moments with uncomfortable silence where I didn't know what to talk about, and one awkward hug when I was leaving, but in general it is a big stepforward for me.

 

That was only a small taste. If you keep going out and practicing, you will not only develop yourself to heights you cant even imagine right now, but you will have a ton of amazing and fun times as well.

This forum is also a great place to use to your advantage in your learning journey, especially since game here is taught on the more conscious and integrous side - probably the most conscious way you can find anywhere on the internet.

Do you plan on continuing to go out?

[Something Funny]

@Migue Lonas I am not sure yet. I am tired of making commitments that I keep abandoning. I am still clarifying what I should focus on right now and how I should spend my time.

But probably yes. I am not sure how regularly though.

[Miguel1]

20 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

I am tired of making commitments that I keep abandoning.

May I ask, why do you keep abandoning your commitments?

[Something Funny]

@Migue Lonas not being 100% clear about what I want, doubting myself, making premature commitments because of social pressure when I should've given them more thought first 

Edited January 28, 2023 by Something Funny

[Miguel1]

@Something Funny

I think all of these are something you can definitely work on, if you just are serious about it.

I think clarity comes first but without giving you room to experiment with ideas, you won’t get clarity so you shouldnt necessarily beat yourself up for trying things and finding out that they are not for you.

How do you doubt yourself?

Yeah social pressure is a real bitch and it took me a long time to get rid of that.

[Something Funny]

1 hour ago, Migue Lonas said:

I think clarity comes first but without giving you room to experiment with ideas, you won’t get clarity so you shouldnt necessarily beat yourself up for trying things and finding out that they are not for you.

Yeah, I know. In general I think that I need to start taking more action.
 

1 hour ago, Migue Lonas said:

How do you doubt yourself?

Basically I know tha if I worked really hard and was super focused on something I could achieve it. But I doubt that I can be hard-working and disciplined enough, and that I can keep going and not quit.

[Miguel1]

3 hours ago, Something Funny said:

Yeah, I know. In general I think that I need to start taking more action.

Yeah, absolutely. Take action but don't beat yourself up if you find out that something is not for you. I spent a shit ton of time and energy exploring all sorts of different fields in life before I finally got into my current one which feels very right. If I didn't spent all that time exploring, I would be nowhere. Taking action is definitely key. Also reframing failures to lessons is also key - there are no failrues: if something didn't work out = you learned a valuable lesson.

 

3 hours ago, Something Funny said:

Basically I know tha if I worked really hard and was super focused on something I could achieve it. But I doubt that I can be hard-working and disciplined enough, and that I can keep going and not quit.

This is where clarity and life experience come to play. The more experience in life you have, the more clarity you have in your vision. Of course, it requires a ton of reflection and contemplation as well. Once you are clear enough of your vision (which includes meaning and passion), taking massive action comes very naturally.

Have you taken Leo's Life Purpose? It helps tremendously in having clarity in your vision.

[Something Funny]

@Migue Lonas yeah, I have it. I almost completed it a few times. But every time I came to a point where I needed to start choosing something specific and had no idea what it should be or if I had it felt forces and not real. 

Maybe this time it would be different though.