When the King loses his crown (deal with aging)

[Shawn Philips]

I've noticed that aging makes me bitter.

I've been always into sports specially fitness and bodybuilding. When I was young won some trophies in local competions.

Now I'm 39 and it's not the same. I have wisdom and experience, but is a bad tradeoff.

I see zoomers being stronger than me (using steroids) and overeating, and this makes me rage because I cannot do the crazy things I did when I was young.

For me it's unfair practising sport for 20 years and some young insolents become stronger or better than me.

But it's the same with relationships/dating. Now I have the experience and resources to date a woman while when I was young was a social retarded. But why do i need this knowledge now that I'm a 40 aged creep that doesnt look attractive to young women?

I dont get the tragic character of aging. Why I need this wisdom now that cannot use it?

[BipolarGrowth]

Pretty sure you’re around the optimal age for having an attractive appearance for a man. Sure, maybe you’d seem creepy to SOME 18 year olds, but why would you even want to be with a woman that young at this point? 
 

I also don’t understand why it’s unfair that younger people have some advantages over you in strength when you had those exact same age-related advantages when you were their age? They will also experience all of the same disadvantages that come with aging. This sounds about as fair of a situation as life is ever going to give. 
 

It sounds like you’re getting pulled around a bit too much by negative thinking which is just making your life less enjoyable. 

[Razard86]

5 hours ago, Shawn Philips said:

I've noticed that how I view aging makes me bitter.

I've been always into sports specially fitness and bodybuilding. When I was young won some trophies in local competions.

Now I'm 39 and it's not the same. I thought I have wisdom and experience, but maybe I lack it as I believe this is a bad tradeoff.

I see zoomers being stronger than me (using steroids) and overeating, and this makes me rage because I cannot do the crazy things I did when I was young. Although they lack the experience I have gained.

For me it's unfair practising sport for 20 years and some young insolents become stronger or better than me. But I believe it is fair that I have all this experience that they don't have.

But it's the same with relationships/dating. Now I have the experience and resources to date a woman while when I was young was a social retarded. Which is true for majority of men. But why do i need this knowledge maybe its because when I was younger I saw myself as a social retard and now that I'm older I see myself as a 40 aged creep that doesnt look attractive to young women?

I dont get the tragic character of aging. Why I need this wisdom now that cannot use it? Or maybe I still haven't learned the lesson from my younger days that I don't have a high opinion of myself?

^^Fixed that for you.

Edited December 31, 2022 by Razard86

[Shawn Philips]

9 hours ago, BipolarGrowth said:

Pretty sure you’re around the optimal age for having an attractive appearance for a man. Sure, maybe you’d seem creepy to SOME 18 year olds, but why would you even want to be with a woman that young at this point? 
 

I also don’t understand why it’s unfair that younger people have some advantages over you in strength when you had those exact same age-related advantages when you were their age? They will also experience all of the same disadvantages that come with aging. This sounds about as fair of a situation as life is ever going to give. 
 

It sounds like you’re getting pulled around a bit too much by negative thinking which is just making your life less enjoyable. 

You are right. Sometimes when I hear a hot young woman talk about dumb things I lose interest quickly.

But we men are wired to feel attraction to the most fertile women (generally the younger). So it's kind of a battle: this kind of girls is not for me but I feel physical attraction.

Edited December 31, 2022 by Shawn Philips

[Eternal Unity]

13 hours ago, Shawn Philips said:

I've been always into sports specially fitness and bodybuilding.

Keep doing that!

13 hours ago, Shawn Philips said:

I've noticed that aging makes me bitter.

Same here, man. (34) But, when I really think about it, I realize that every age has its benefits. And, knowing that I have life experience and life purpose beats every other desire that I have.

Those zoomers, man, got a lot of problems which thay choose not to share. It's all a facade really. An illusion of a life. Truth - thats what counts!

From the absolute perspective you're immortal and aging is not a tragedy, but a blessing. Everything has its time to appear in one's life. Wisdom is worth it. Maybe that will be even more clear to you as you age some more. And I can promise you that you DO use it. Perhaps, you're not always conscious of that but it is very true and very real. 

Hope it helps,

Greg.

[Butters]

Ram Dass has a few talks where he addresses aging. 

My kickboxing coach is in his late 50s and he's such an inspiration in the way he treats his students. Everyone feels safe and inspired around him. He comes across selfless and confident, he treats a gangster the same way he treats a computer programmer, literally. He sees people for people. 

Girls love him too but he's happily married. That's true alpha to me, very inspiring. You'd be lucky to have well developed older men in your circle. 

 

Edited December 31, 2022 by Butters

[hoodrow trillson]

It's all about perspective.

OP, if you were turning 59 years old today... and someone who just turned 39 told you these things.  What do you think you'd tell them? 

Just imagine a 14 year old telling you this when you're 39 lol.

[StarStruck]

Sounds to me like fear. Kings always fear new kings rising. But that is just the cycle of life. 

The whole point of life is to become wise before it is too late. One can’t sugar coat biology. You just have to do what old people do. Become a philosopher, man of god or something like that. 

All fear is fear of death so you need to reconcile with that. And secondly you need to let go of regret of your failed dating life otherwise it will hunt you. 

[LastThursday]

21 hours ago, Shawn Philips said:

For me it's unfair practising sport for 20 years and some young insolents become stronger or better than me.

That's life. There's always someone better than you. My friend infuriates me with his chess prowess.

I'm fitter, better looking and more socially adjusted than when I was 21.

21 hours ago, Shawn Philips said:

But why do i need this knowledge now that I'm a 40 aged creep that doesnt look attractive to young women?

Women of any age will be attracted to you no matter what age you are (@flowboy will rejoice at hearing that). Not all women true, but some women. But that's the same at any age. You don't need to be 39 to be labeled a creep, any age will do! Just stay away from those women, simple.

[flowboy]

12 hours ago, LastThursday said:

That's life. There's always someone better than you. My friend infuriates me with his chess prowess.

I'm fitter, better looking and more socially adjusted than when I was 21.

Women of any age will be attracted to you no matter what age you are (@flowboy will rejoice at hearing that). Not all women true, but some women. But that's the same at any age. You don't need to be 39 to be labeled a creep, any age will do! Just stay away from those women, simple.

True. Well-balanced viewpoint. I infer that you're doing well, I'm happy about it!

[NoSelfSelf]

@Shawn Philips comparing yourself with others and the world at that age is not so wise...

[Gladius]

Those are just made-up beliefs from you. Does it serve you to think that way, whether it's true or not? I'm becoming 38 and feeling more healthy and attractive than ever before.

[LastThursday]

6 hours ago, Loba said:

They think that outside beauty or youth is the most important thing - it's not, it's how well you Love.

Amazing words.