Pros of suicide

[at_anchor]

If you had a bad upbringig and a family that didn't love you, that abused you and nade you weak an pray to rich and popular bullies. When you grow up the same shit continues, but now you are utterly weak when you know the causes of the past problems and you know you should have moved out this family. But you did not. So now come new so to say rich and popular bullies and your family is still against you. You get put down, stripped out of your dignity, ostracized and demonized as well as physically damaged. Very damaged. You start living in fear and have nothing you love. Hope is always illusory and you basically cannot be who you are, authentic and happy.

Life is nothing. It has no meaning and all my potential is never gonna be realized anyway. So why should I live? I'm like an animal in a cage with abusive owners and cannot get away.

I also feel small. Yeah, my I'm a taller man, but my mind, life, bank account, 6 inch penis, status, all this is too small.

I'm not gonna commit suicide but I have to ask what the pros are, cause although I don't believe in the Church, sometimes I do fear Karma and even Jesus, but can't believe in that for sure. But sometimes you just gotta go. Is there anything positive that could be said of suicide?

[puporing]

You can get out of the family. If you're thinking of suicide you might as well put all your effort in getting out and see what happens. 

Edited October 3, 2022 by puporing

[Roy]

Life is infinite potential. So if you end it you're also ending all the ways things can change and go in a better direction.

[at_anchor]

@puporing What happens is that bullies get me outside this house. 

@Roy That is not a pro of suicide. I think that things cannot change and go in a better direction.

[Roy]

6 minutes ago, at_anchor said:

That is not a pro of suicide.

I am not going to validate any ideas of suicide being good.

6 minutes ago, at_anchor said:

I think that things cannot change and go in a better direction.

Challenge yourself to accept the possibility you could be wrong. It could be the best decision you've ever made.

[Lila9]

You are valubale and you deserve better life. You are stronger than you realize. You talk about sucide out of desperation because your environment abused you such that it hurt your will to live. But it's not who you are and you have the potential to live a safe and authentic life. You can create a plan of getting out in that way that no bully will be able to find you. Just start a new life for yourself and focus on your healing. I'm not saying it's going be easy, it will be hard and you might struggle at the begining, but it's worth it. 

[at_anchor]

@Roy Psychiatrists in Netherlands, Belgium and elsewhere actually do validate suicide and assist. But I don't know if that is going too far or if that is the next step in evolution of society.

I guess the only pro is that existance, fear and all the bad stuff go away. But I'm just assuming that. Then again, why wouldn't my time come to an end when I am forced to decide that it should come to an end? Why bad Karma? Even if there is bad Karma, that just means that one day I will just learn my lesson, although not in this life.

Okay, how do I challenge myself that I could be wrong? Maybe there is an actual God figure in the shape of a man or devil that will actually punish me. So that is one reason not to. Maybe Karma will create the same people and experiences in my life, even though I do not deserve it cause I know I wasn't Hitler or something in my previous life. So yeah, other than that, I don't see anything good. Reality won't be affected much by it. Many will celebrate my death, a few might be sad, some might be affected negatively by it and could end up being the new targets, although they already are weak and they cab easily be exploited, destroyed and demonized later on anyway. 

So yeah, the only thing really is that things could change and go in a better direction. Well, I have a hard time accepting that. It seems very unlikely. Maybe if I survive another 20-30 years of this shit. But then I will be so old and in the same spot as I am now again or I will be even worse off and then I might not get another chance to commit suicide for God's sake!

Yeah, I might see the world change for the better, see self-driving cars, electric cars, borders opening, peace spreading, corruption maybe gone, who knows what else the future holds for the world. But I am not from that world and I'm never gonna belong in it. It will be like an old Ethiopian man going to New York. He simply would not be able to adopt, fit in or learn the language or survive.

Edited October 3, 2022 by at_anchor

[Roy]

1 hour ago, at_anchor said:

Okay, how do I challenge myself that I could be wrong? Maybe there is an actual God figure in the shape of a man or devil that will actually punish me. So that is one reason not to.

Yes karma, consequences, and other negative things will serve as useful reasons to push you away from suicide. However you will need to also stoke a vision for the future and something to move towards. 

Accept that you do not know the future, that's your ticket to true imagination. You even admitted it yourself with what you talked about in your last few paragraphs 

Edited October 3, 2022 by Roy

[puporing]

Idk about your country's situation so I'm not suggesting this equivalency.. mentally I was willing to go homeless to not live with my family, wherever that takes me, but I didn't end up homeless coz I always ended up finding some work. 

[at_anchor]

@Lila9 thank you, beautiful post. I just feel this life is gonna be pretty much the same forever.

@Roy I do not know the future. I just found out that in 41 years we will be out of oil on Google and so on. This is how I get demonized. People make me appear like I know what I am talking about, like I read a lot in the time I got, like I am educated, like I had a lot, was so lucky, did a lot, to be jealous of. Like I am just pretending to be a victim. But those that do this demonization know I am stupid, and so on. 

Yeah, I will think about the future. Just not now. Unfortunately, I am again giving up on something I decided to try because of many things preventing me and out of fear.

@puporing Great, but I don't want to be taken off the streets into a jail cell by being accused of  having drugs with me, or I don't know what else. Many possibilities. I could be harassed so much that I actually kick an officer in the balls and punch him and then good luck in jail. There are so many ways for them to lure me into something and frame me, like the last time at work and in the supermarket. Tricks of the devils. They might keep me away from sleep, etc. Like now I am experiencing that a bit again.

[Roy]

@at_anchor sorry I meant to say you do NOT know the future. Can't believe I did a typo that bad.

[Loba]

If you commit suicide, you won't know what you were meant to do here, unless that was what you were meant to do.  I suppose suicide, for some folks, was always meant to be.  Trustworthy sources tell me that you go to a place to heal, where you are loved and put back together again.  Either by God, or your soul family.  You get a period of rest to think on what you have done, and are shown the error of your ways and how things would have been different if you had stayed.  Maybe people who come back from NDE's due to suicide are shown that they have an easy solution to the problem that is being covered up by pain.

From my understanding, the point of life is to grow the soul and so you will at some point have to come back here to learn the lesson you skipped, but I don't believe that there is some all punishing karmic danger to suicide.  I think it is as loving as can be, for those who are weak and hurt, that the afterlife does it's best to tend to you.  Just like here, when you reach out to people, their instinct is to help you through it, not to harm you for feeling painful emotions due to circumstance.

You will have to finish those lessons, though.  I hope you don't.  Whenever I get close to suicide, entities come to me to try and change the circumstances for me via lessons/altering the course of my life and so forth.  Just have to sit it out.  We are all on this crazy ride together.

[Ulax]

@at_anchor Hiya, I felt moved reading your post.

It sounds to me like you may have experienced abuse by people with personality disorders related to sociopathy and malignant narcissists. I can only imagine the depth of the effect that has had on you.

I relate to what I see to be your experiences of humiliation and dehumanisation that came with those experiences. To my understanding, I have experienced abuse at the hands of multiple malignant narcissists myself. However, I will note that the extent or magnitude of how my experiences relate to yours I do not know.

I personally do not, when acting consciously, judge suicide. And, to my mind, everyone who chooses the route of suicide has some reason, based on fulfilling some need of there's. Albeit, it may be that their perception of reality was very skewed such that that was the way they thought they could best meet that need.

That said, I don't recommend you seriously consider suicide as an option for now. The way I think about it is that you have all of eternity to be dead. So why not stick around and see how it turns out. Experiment with different ways of approaching life and see how it works out.

To my understanding, there are numerous people in the world today and throughout history who have dedicated their careers to trying to help people who find themselves in the type of situation you are in today. I don't think many people will be able to really comprehend the abuse that it sounds like has occurred to you. However, many of these mentioned people will comprehend. They will understand. And, some of them will be able to help you transform your life. I would recommend that you seek these people out.

If you would like, I can recommend some mentors that I think could be of value to you.

Edited October 3, 2022 by Ulax
Grammar

[RMQualtrough]

I am nearly certain it qould be bad for you.

But recently a dude I spoke to before hung himself, and I think it was the right decision. His life was truly without any possible redemption. Way worse off than the homeless, or anyone I've seen post in forums.

Suicide is shit except in that level of situation or if you're terminally ill.

[The Mystical Man]

8 hours ago, at_anchor said:

Is there anything positive that could be said of suicide?

No. There are zero pros to suicide:

"There’s always, always a reason to stay alive, even when you can’t see it or believe in it." - J.K. Rowling

Rowling also believed that her life would never change, but it did change tremendously. I'm not saying that you'll be rich and famous, but I do think that ten, twenty, thirty years from now you will be happy that you didn't commit suicide. But you do have to take small actions, baby steps. 

I want to share this thread with you:

 

Edited October 3, 2022 by The Mystical Man

[Devin]

There's not a pro to committing suicide but there is a pro to suicide; it's the letting go, if you're willing to end it that means you're willing to try something different in life and that's the secret to life, don't kill yourself or o.d. but try the life you want, not the one your parents want for you, the one you truly want, leave all those toxic people behind and start off on your new life somewhere else. Ego suicide

There's always something to love by the way. And always a way to receive love anytime

Edited October 3, 2022 by Devin

[The Mystical Man]

1 minute ago, Devin said:

it's the letting go

Suicide has nothing to do with letting go; in fact, it's an expression of holding on.

[Devin]

2 minutes ago, The Mystical Man said:

Suicide has nothing to do with letting go; in fact, it's an expression of holding on.

From the material perspective it's letting go, if they could see it as holding on they wouldn't be in that position. I agree it's an expression of holding on; clinging to beliefs obviously. But if you're contemplating suicide I think it's because of pain, trying to end the pain, trying to let go of it.

[Devin]

6 hours ago, at_anchor said:

@Lila9 thank you, beautiful post. I just feel this life is gonna be pretty much the same forever. .

life doesn't need to change for you to love it.

The trick is that you don't love it because you've been taught not to, once you figure that out you love life, and then it sounds like you have a life in mind you want, once you love life just continue to love it while also having what you want in mind. The point of all this is to have the journey, if you got everything you wanted as soon as you thought of it you wouldn't enjoy it, this way you have your cake at the end of the day, but you also get to eat one the entire day leading up to getting the cake.

Loving is the key

Edited October 3, 2022 by Devin

[The Mystical Man]

9 minutes ago, Devin said:

trying to let go of it

I'd call it "trying to get rid of it", which will remain unsuccessful. In the end, you have to learn how to surrender properly. You can learn it in this lifetime, or you can make a mistake, wise up, and choose again in the next lifetime. Life is always telling you, "Choose again."

Edited October 3, 2022 by The Mystical Man