How Socialization Makes You Stupid

[Tyler Robinson]

@michaelcycle00 I'm not trying to say that I'm perfect. I'm far from perfect. I also hurt people by lying to them. I am bit psychopath in that sense. But just because I am not perfect, I don't deserve to be thrown around like a ragdoll and emotionally exploited. It's best if I stay far away from people for good,in that sense Leo is right, socializing is not only making you stupid but could be harmful. 

The one strategy around it would be to socialize from far and not get too involved with anyone. And not put emotional investment. And only put emotional investment when that person has consistently shown trust for many many years. I can't really vouch for this because I trusted someone for more than six months by emotionally investing in them and they betrayed me. So I really don't know what to advice. Just use your gut maybe. I have seen someone being betrayed after two solid years of trusting. So I am not really aware of the right solution. Just stick around with people who stick around. 

 

 

[Dazgwny]

I don’t really see the issue here. What Leo is saying is correct. Find the balance it’s pretty straightforward. Which benefits both aspects of your life, socialising and inner growth. Ya making a mountain out of a molehill chaps

Edited September 12, 2022 by Dazgwny

[Breakingthewall]

I would say that if you want to go deeper, you have to limit your social interactions to the minimum and maximum quality, only one on one, not groups. normal social interactions take you away from yourself, draw you into the social matrix. you also have to completely leave any entertainment like Netflix, novels, movies... any evasion. the basis of your life must be total solitude and you must be perfectly comfortable in it. Nailed in the present moment. and the people chosen to interact must be of the highest quality, you should be totally true with them. If not, you are going back every time you interact 

 

[Tyler Robinson]

@michaelcycle00@

I made mistakes too but not intentionally. The problem with me is my lack of self awareness because of my autism and my mental disorder means I will act very reckless around people which I did. When I did things with people like lying I did not do it on purpose. Without malicious intent. I did not think through in the moment the consequences in the future. I did not take anything too seriously and then it was taken as malicious intent. I tend to act inappropriate because of my autism. But I never had any specific agenda or motive to cause hurt. Everything happened the way it was designed without me thinking too much. So while signing the contract I did not think too much about the future and the consequences of agreeing to the contract. As a result when I broke it, the person thought I was being a psychopath by betraying them. However it was simply my recklessness. I hadn't thought much while agreeing to it. 

I'm also extremely forgiving. I can even forgive a person who is trying to kill me. I believe in compassion, not because I am a good person and in fact I am not a very good person at all but I still believe in compassion. And forgiveness too..but forgiveness is like a double edger sword. One side is that by forgiving people, they can easily come back into your life and exploit you again. The other side is that they can change and become good people to you or by forgiving them you are showing humanity which is good. That's why it's tricky. One thing I learned is forgive but don't forget. Don't go back especially when someone repeatedly broke boundaries. Give 2-3 chances, enough, after that just cut them out for good. 

But throughout these things I learned a lot on what not to do. I avoided things that got me into trouble. 

When I'm being reckless around people I'm not thinking too much. Then it blows up and boomerangs back into my face and that's when I realize ii fucked up. So it's never intentional. But like I said it's best to avoid people especially people who aren't cool enough, Judge and shame too much, people who don't try to connect with you. People who don't put a decent amount of effort in gaining your trust. But there are no guarantees. In fact I'm more wary of people who try to gain my trust because it almost always ends up with me being betrayed somehow. I see their true colors later. Socializing is like a gamble. You're exposing yourself and it can go either way, good or bad or really ugly. There is no formula that can work. 

The only thing that works in my opinion is time. Give time. The very first signs of Drama and unnecessary allegations and false victimhood - immediately cut out. Any judging, blaming, shaming, cut out. You come to know a little later not before so give time. Within a few weeks you realize what you're dealing with. Mostly people who bitch a lot and complain about your behavior should be the first one to go. 

My biggest mistake was (in hindsight) is that I trusted people who complained about me right from the get go. I thought I can still win them. No. Once a whiner always a whiner. If they show early signs of whining, they are not cool. They are going to betray one way or another. They are not looking for unity or deep friendship. They are already showing that they don't trust you even if you didn't do anything wrong.. Immediately cut them out. 

Don't look for approval. Approval is a dangerous drug used by the narcissist to keep you hooked. You want their approval. So you do everything to impress them, they are still not impressed because they will never be satisfied until they abuse you. If they act dissatisfied or unimpressed, don't look for their approval. Just drop them. You seek their approval because of low self esteem and they will block you or ghost you. And keep you confused. They don't give a fuck about how you feel upon ghosting. 

also I would like to mention that people who make you sign contracts are really fishy people 

I was told to sign a contract where the person told me that they would be my therapist but in exchange I need to give all kinds of personal information. They asked me very Intrusive questions about my family. They told me that they will not tell anyone if I sign the contract. For once I became suspicious and told that person to gtfo. What a relief. Such people are looking for something which is not good. But thank God they are out of my life. I really don't have a perfect solution on how to Deal with people. 

One of the best solutions is communication. A person who refuses to communicate is not trying to resolve issues or build bridges. Cut them out. You'll suffer a lot in life with such people. Invest your time and energy and emotion into people who are at least ready to communicate. These are healthy people, because they don't want drama, rather they want resolution and unity. They want to work things out rather than turn their back on you. They are interested in keeping it. They most likely won't betray and are looking for harmony. Not all though. I have come across people who have tried to communicate but their communication is more about self righteousness and argumentation rather than harmony and understanding or respect. They use communication as a weapon to create more frustration. They use communication to manipulate. They use communication to gain information. They use communication to hurt you rather than understand you. They take the communication in a negative direction. These people, I have observed, are very Obsessive. They will try to interrupt all your work, ask you nonsense questions, break your boundaries, they will call you anytime. You become their punching bag. Avoid such people. Make sure that the communication is healthy and not purposeless unempathetic communication, it's abusive. 

 

 

@Tyler Robinson

 

Edited September 12, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Tyler Robinson]

7 hours ago, michaelcycle00 said:

Talking to average people has done jack shit for me.

@Tyler Robinson

I will give you an example of destructive socializing. 

So a year ago, I was approached by a dude who wanted help on his family issues. At first he would constantly send me friend requests and I would deny it because I didn't really know him. Then he began crying victim to me about how I didn't care about his feelings. So I accepted his friend request. Everyday he would tell me about his family. And I would guide and comfort him, I thought this was going to be a great friendship. Then it got darker over time. After 2 months of texting him, he told me one day that he wanted to place a bomb in a place and kill many people. I was terrified and I told him that it wasn't okay to do that. I begged him not to. Because of his admission, I couldn't sleep for several nights. I was very anxious everyday and I lost sleep. I thought of calling the cops but before that I asked him again and he told me that he was being flippant about it. He did not really plan it. I told him that I can't take such things flippantly and that I was too stressed out over this. Later he told me how he had harassed someone with distressing phone calls more than 50 times. I was like wtf dude. That guy who was being harassed had quit their position.. At the same time I was being harassed as well. The style of communication used by the harassing person was similar to this guy so I became suspicious. After some days of thinking and stressing over this person, I decided to cut everything with them. I did not ghost him.. I politely told him that I didn't want such friendship and blocked him after that. 

It's a perfect example of how someone tried to exploit by acting like they wanted my help. 

I have reached the conclusion that you can trust nobody. People who are trying to help you or people who are begging for help, anybody can exploit your trust and betray you. 

It's just destructive socializing. I've found that when you trust people, you can invite all sorts of messed up people into your life. I had no idea he was harboring harmful intent. 

Hindsight it's hard to tell what to expect and what not to expect. It's all blunder and illusion, smoke and mirrors and a tad bit difficult to decide who to trust. It's a gamble you take. 

I could have easily trusted this guy and he could have invited me and taken me to a hidden basement and put a bullet to my head. How would have I known. 

Then I sat down with paper and pen and decided to map out the most common denominator in these vulture like people. And I found that it was low IQ as well as low EQ. But mostly low IQ. And that's how I began to avoid these people. There's a legitimate reason whether you like it or not. You have to cut out such people from your life. 

 

Edited September 12, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[Breakingthewall]

@Tyler Robinson

more common example: a Friday I meet to lunch with my friends from school. everyone shows great humor, everyone makes jokes, it seems like a fun and relaxed situation. everyone drinks beer and wine, some gin for dessert, everyone talks about girls, sex, politics and work, and someone who is not present at the time. everything seems normal, light, nice .... ufff it's unbearable fucking shit. They should pay me to be there. everything is fake, I notice the tension in the environment, everyone with their defenses bristling, not showing weakness, saying what they are supposed to say, each one in their role. When I get off that shit my mind buzzes for two hours. Why to do that? But for them it's a great time, after they go to another, and another... 

After that I go to a place where people I know from my ex meet, hippy style. It seems more authentic, people drink beer and smoke weed. They look closer and less fake. we talk about politics and about the world and people listen to what you say and give their opinion. it is a higher level. I perceive the need to communicate, to find common ground. to feel part of something, to feel that I am also part of it. they're nice but it's alienating. for them only the conceptual exists, everything is made of words. In the end, it's almost more alienating than the others.

Edited September 12, 2022 by Breakingthewall

[Jannes]

2 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

@Tyler Robinson

more common example: a Friday I meet to eat with my friends from school. everyone shows great humor, everyone makes jokes, it seems like a fun and relaxed situation. everyone drinks beer and wine, some gin for dessert, everyone talks about girls, sex, politics and work, and someone who is not present at the time. everything seems normal, light, nice .... ufff it's unbearable fucking shit. They should pay me to be there. everything is fake, I notice the tension in the environment, everyone with their defenses bristling, not showing weakness, saying what they are supposed to say, each one in their role. When I get off that shit my mind buzzes for two hours. Why to do that? But for them it's a great time, after they go to another, and another...

 

They have been fake for so long that they aren’t aware of it anymore. They think they are being authentic. They don’t know what they do ?

[Breakingthewall]

2 minutes ago, Jannes said:

They have been fake for so long that they aren’t aware of it anymore. They think they are being authentic. They don’t know what they do ?

Yeah. I'm fake too when I'm there. No other option, it's the dynamic of that. What I mean is that it is ok to pass time but not good if you are trying to get deeper 

[Razard86]

You guys don't understand....I just had another awakening tonight...its ridiculous...you don't even need psychedelics....just contemplate continually and open yourself up...and it comes in!!! I was shown some more glimpses...why we are here....its just so share our love for ourselves...this is why what Leo is telling you...is so counter to why we are here, but it also makes sense....because...he has to embody his own teachings...and its scary. But he will do it...he has no choice in the matter...because God wants to reunite with itself...so God will. 

There is no bad, there is no good, there is no right or wrong, there is only God playing a game with itself and all that happened is God fell asleep and needs to be awakened. It is really that simple. Its so funny...I was literally shown...everyone really is you!!! Its so funny, its so freaking funny!!! I see why only serious people are asleep!!! Its too funny!!! You don't even need psychedelics for this!! At all!!!

Maybe 1 or 2 trips to loosen you up, but after that you don't need them!!! There is nothing to contemplate so deeply after you awaken!! Leo is searching for something that isn't there. Leo...its all you!!! What is there to be afraid of? Its you!!! Everything, ever person, its freaking you!!! Don't let your ego pull you back again....lol.

[Dazgwny]

We may as well just change the site to Razard.org ey

[Tyler Robinson]

2 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

@Tyler Robinson

more common example: a Friday I meet to lunch with my friends from school. everyone shows great humor, everyone makes jokes, it seems like a fun and relaxed situation. everyone drinks beer and wine, some gin for dessert, everyone talks about girls, sex, politics and work, and someone who is not present at the time. everything seems normal, light, nice .... ufff it's unbearable fucking shit. They should pay me to be there. everything is fake, I notice the tension in the environment, everyone with their defenses bristling, not showing weakness, saying what they are supposed to say, each one in their role. When I get off that shit my mind buzzes for two hours. Why to do that? But for them it's a great time, after they go to another, and another... 

After that I go to a place where people I know from my ex meet, hippy style. It seems more authentic, people drink beer and smoke weed. They look closer and less fake. we talk about politics and about the world and people listen to what you say and give their opinion. it is a higher level. I perceive the need to communicate, to find common ground. to feel part of something, to feel that I am also part of it. they're nice but it's alienating. for them only the conceptual exists, everything is made of words. In the end, it's almost more alienating than the others.

You won't gain anything from that sort of people. Waste of time. 

[Breakingthewall]

1 hour ago, Tyler Robinson said:

You won't gain anything from that sort of people. Waste of time. 

Agree, i don't want even 1 gr of that shit in my life.  That's why I totally limit my social contacts to real thing, one to one only and when it really worths. Results: 95% of time alone. But for me it's much better

[amanen]

I think it's completely dependent on the people you socialize with, and the content and structure of your conversations. Yes, when you think by yourself all the work is on you and you have to generate everything, but you can always verify what other people are saying, its not like you have to believe them.

Personally I talk with only a few people, but we mainly talk about creativity and imagination, god, infinity, all kinds of possibilities, implications of all this, truth, love, and any and all unrelated deep topics. There was actually a period in my life where I talked with nobody at all, and during this time I was still thinking about all the same topics, and my thoughts weren't any more intelligent compared to now that I do some socializing as well. You just have to find the right people. You can still have original thoughts even when socializing.

[Jannes]

If you don’t sozialize you will only live in your own little bubble and you can easily delude yourself in there because your thoughts aren’t confronted with anyone. Society as a whole is very low consciousness yes but their common sense still filters out extremely unhealthy behaviour. I think diet is a good analogy to that. The western diet is pretty garbage yes but there is at least some variety and you won’t find things in there that will directly kill you because that woudnt have survived in society. If you think that you are so much smarter and do your own diet that is completely different you don’t have societies common sense on your back which is almost a guarantee that the diet would at least not kill you. So if we transfer that analogy to our way of thinking you could say that we should always be able to explain our high consciousness thoughts to people in society, if we can’t do that then we might have deluded ourself. 

Edited September 14, 2022 by Jannes

[Razard86]

On 9/12/2022 at 5:39 AM, Dazgwny said:

We may as well just change the site to Razard.org ey

Dang am I that bad? Am I wearing out my welcome? Should I hit the road? 

I don't know...I once dated somebody who was very selfish and it actually made me more loving and I actually generated certain heights of self-love I didn't know was possible right before my first psychedelic trip. Dealing with people is really a good mirror, a good way to gauge where you are. Not saying this needs to be done for long periods at all but dealing with low conscious people does have some benefits. It reveals your ability to retain your state when someone attempts to disturb it. 

Anyway for me personally it was the people that treated me worse that brought out the best in me, it it wasn't for their influence in my life I have no clue who I would be. I do plan one day to go full monk mode for awhile, but never permanently. I will choose to integrate back in when I feel the time is right.

[Proserpina]

@Razard86 Don't worry about it.  You have a very loving energy that I appreciate.  I mean that sincerely, not being fake.  This forum is cool.  The people on this forum are cool, including the people who sometimes trigger me with their bluntness and masculine energy.

[SOUL]

Something I have noticed, at least in the U.S., the past 20 years or so there has been a growing disinterest in the general population for uplifting each other.

Sure, we have the artificial sweetener happy feeling types across social media but it's rarely encouraging people to well being and more about posting quotes and just feelings.

Much of the 'improvement' and 'actualizing' centers around materialist pursuits like career, money, stuff and appearances. It's an obsession with the trophy life.

Not to mention this so often is accompanied with being 'better' through comparison where the in group is good and the out group is bad.

Though, it's so obvious how people are self suffering and seeking relief from the misery with so many flocking to the growing self help field and interest in spirituality.

Yet even much of that seems to be focused more on materialist solutions and becoming an acolyte of a belief system, therapeutic process, group or person.

While the dumbing down of every aspect of socialization to the lowest common denominator has always been an issue of human interactions it seems especially prevalent currently.

[Proserpina]

So are we now snubbing the feminine? Leo said in the video that the feminine is generally 'less intelligent'.  No one has said anything about that.  Normal female communication is being labelled as 'artificial sweetener' happy feeling. 

Edited September 14, 2022 by Proserpina

[Tyler Robinson]

2 minutes ago, Proserpina said:

So are we now snubbing the feminine? Leo said in the video that the feminine is generally 'less intelligent'.  No one has said anything about that.  Normal female communication is being labelled as 'artificial sweetener' happy feeling. 

[SOUL]

20 minutes ago, Proserpina said:

Normal female communication is being labelled as 'artificial sweetener' happy feeling.

I hope you aren't referring to me because I did happen to use that phrase in my reply but I made no mention of sex, gender or anything of the sort. If you interpreted it that way it's not something I said or intended to say.