Someone here

Question for women :do looks matter ?

23 posts in this topic

So a quick question for the ladies over here ..do you care about how your man should look? Do you have strict specific requirements for your man to be attractive in terms of his physical appearance?  For example a beard ,muscles, a cool haircut, fancy clothes etc...or do you care more about personality?  

I'm curious because for us men ..it's almost 99,99999% about the looks lol ? 

I know that looks can only take you so far. that's really all i can say. they don't really mean much when there's no personality to go along with them.

For guys ..what's more important is taking care of yourself. a little hygiene and grooming will show that you care about your appearance. that is a turn on. Women will engage in a relationship with a clean cut, funny, humble 5 over a vapid 10 any day.


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Don’t primarily consider what women say, primarily consider what they do.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 minutes ago, Raze said:

Don’t primarily consider what women say, primarily consider what they do.

Why is that ?


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Why is that ?

What women react to is what is most relevant. You want to know what you really should prioritize, right?

Looks make a difference. But if you don't have the best looks you're still much better off than women with bad looks.

That's because what attracts women is masculinity. And you can be masculine without having the best looks.

If you develop "strength" as a man, you become more attractive.

Strength can take many shapes. Physical strength, status, success, power, money, confidence, leadership, strong sense of purpose and direction.

That's the direction in which you should move.

Of course if you let a woman choose out of all men, she would select the man who has everything, including amazing looks, how else could it be.

But bro...you don't have a looks problem. Just work out a bit, dress well and get a good haircut, that's it.

You have a neediness problem, that's where all your neurotic questions come from. 

You should ask: "does neediness matter?".

The answer is "yes", your neediness matters much more than your looks.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Federico del pueblo This is the real issue, someone doesn't have to have a 100% point specific look but I do need to be attracted to them.  Attraction matters 100%, and if looks are reworded as attraction it is easily the most important thing.  I don't think that it's shallow to say that I don't want to get to know someone who I find unattractive/unfuckable.

Edited by Someone here

"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 minutes ago, Someone here said:

@Federico del pueblo This is the real issue, someone doesn't have to have a 100% point specific look but I do need to be attracted to them.  Attraction matters 100%, and if looks are reworded as attraction it is easily the most important thing.  I don't think that it's shallow to say that I don't want to get to know someone who I find unattractive/unfuckable.

Sure, but it works a bit different for girls.

Women can find a man ridiculously fuckable even if he doesn't have their definition of perfect looks.

What for you is looks in a woman, for a woman this is strength/masculinity in a man. And if he also has great looks then it's still easier for him to attract her.

Why do women find Jason Statham hot? It's not mostly his looks (he's not thaaat handsome, rather edgy), it's how he carries himself. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

One of the biggest BS I found out and people keep perpetuating is that women don't give a fuck about physical beauty. There is this false notion that man is only about confidence and bla bla bla. FAKE!! 

I observe lots of women being attracted to physical beauty and muscular bodies. This is not absolute, and maybe not the most important thing about masculine attractiveness, but it is real and part of the game. Let's be honest.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Hugo Oliveira said:

One of the biggest BS I found out and people keep perpetuating is that women don't give a fuck about physical beauty. There is this false notion that man is only about confidence and bla bla bla. FAKE!! 

I observe lots of women being attracted to physical beauty and muscular bodies. This is not absolute, and maybe not the most important thing about masculine attractiveness, but it is real and part of the game. Let's be honest.

I don’t think anyone disagrees.

However you can’t change much about your looks, so you may as well focus on the most cost effective way to make yourself more attractive to women which is lots of exposure and developing an attractive personality

Weirdly it actually serves you better to believe that women don’t give a fuck about looks even if that isn’t true. Delusional levels of self confidence help you a lot with girls

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Women care a lot about looks although admitting it directly makes them appear superficial so they avoid saying it. At the same time, looks are not the only metric. A woman is subconsciously hunting for signs of masculinity and protective behaviour in a man. She wants to know if he is competent enough. Masculine does not mean having a great physique. Your ability to listen, your reliability, trustworthiness, your ability to resolve issues, taking the lead, your caring attitude and how well you exercise responsibility, these things count as masculinity in her brain. 

Four things that make a man more masculine in her eyes 

The litmus test for men

  • His  protective instinct, the male protective instinct found in most men (unless he is an abusive asshole, psychopath/sociopath, predatory, exploitative) protective instinct reflected in his ability to help the woman when she is asking for help. 
  • his ability to forgive or let go when she apologizes. 
  • His generosity and abundance in not taking things too seriously and ability to accommodate everything. 
  • His ability to provide and care for her needs. Both emotional and physical.

So a woman (at least imo ) scans for the following

  • A cute face(not girlish, just masculine cute, "handsome devil " type)
  • Rugged masculinity(how you handle logistics as a man )
  • Romantic nature. 
  • Good character - should make a loyal partner 
  • Some bit of cockiness is attractive in a male and the reason why narcissistic traits in men are attractive.

Your inner qualities matter just as much as your face and physique. A woman doesn't give a shit if you got a six pack ab but don't know how to speak.

She is not robotically attracted to you. She wants substance and character. It doesn't matter if you act like an asshole. She can take some bit of it as long as you care enough to stick around with her..this is no licence for abuse but a core feminine woman loves and craves to be dominated. She doesn't want too much simping and lame-ness. She wants to be tamed.

So the three core values that matter to her are-(1) looks(especially facial, more than body, note- when it comes to the body, a woman's preferences are a wider stronger chiselled chest, strong arms and sculpted shoulders, no tummy and solid legs, a skinny guy in these areas would be somewhat undesirable), (2)masculinity and (3)character.  What you lack in facial looks or body, she tries to make up for it in your character and behaviour.

And even if you had all these, she might be attracted to you. Yet you have to do the job.. that's what she expects. Meaning you gotta take the lead, approach her and be romantic/ flirty/negging. So apart from all the qualities mentioned above, you should cultivate abilities/skills of flirty behaviours and good communication to get her attention towards you. 

Simply being attractive to her is not enough. You have to put in the effort to get her to pay attention to you. Basically you got to insert yourself in her mind so that she is forced to think about you. Then you have to make her think a bit more, emotional stimulation is what it's called. She needs to be thinking/feeling, women are emotinal creatures, they want the vibe you give them. It needs to be romantic/conquering attitude.

A woman rarely approaches a man no matter how attracted she is to him and his personality. She won't give a damn. She is expecting you to make the move and waiting for you to impress her, charm her. That's what gets her stimulated down there. And if you aren't doing this fundamental thing for her, how attractive you are will matter very little to her. This means that you not only have to work on your masculinity, behaviour, staying in youthful shape but also do the heavy lifting of approaching and baiting/enticing/simping/hunting/flirting/negging/romancing/conquering etc. You gotta do all that to get her to be interested in you.

 

Edited by Tyler Robinson

♡✸♡.

 Be careful being too demanding in relationships. Relate to the person at the level they are at, not where you need them to be.

You have to get out of the kitchen where Tate's energy exists ~ Tyler Robinson 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Note.

Skinny versus healthy buff guys.

Generally women aren't too fond of the skinny type, same goes for bulky fat or extremely huge. A moderate distribution of fat/ muscle on a man is much more attractive. Men think that having huge biceps and leg muscles is attractive to women. Nope. This is a wrong idea. Too much fat/muscle is actually vulgar looking. It can even be a turn off.

Lean muscle is more attractive.

It's how strong your bones are. These are genetic characteristics and have little to do with how much time you spent at the gym.

You might be astonished by how my brain works in the areas of attraction. It might be a popular belief that women are attracted to men who spend hours and hours at the gym. But I don't look at it that way. In fact that is a sign that he is not healthy enough and making up for it by being gym intensive.

Would you like a woman who is naturally having nice boobs or would you like a woman who is  working too hard to get a nice pair like using pills or surgery. I think you would like both but a woman who is naturally beautiful or gifted is obviously more desirable.

Same goes for men. A woman would be happy that you worked out at the gym to be in shape. But she would be happier if you are naturally born with lean muscle and ideal girth.

What I mean is that - A man who is genetically healthy looking is twice as attractive/desirable as the one who is sweating it out in the gym  to achieve the same. 

These genetic traits(in terms of physique) include - lean muscles, moderate fat distribution, wide shoulders, wide chest, barrel chest, strong sculpted shoulders, strong and long arms, strong legs, lean stomach, tall(not too tall). On an average 5 11' to 6 is preferable height. Beyond 6 can be good for taller women. Most women aren't tall so a very tall guy (taller than 6) can be absurd looking aesthetic wise.

So height preferences on average - anywhere between 5 9' to a full 6. These measures are desirable in men with respect to height.

Shorter than 5 9' is not very desirable. Short men are generally rejected much more often than taller men. Height does contribute a lot to a man's desirability (in terms of physique). 

So being  short is quite a disaster.

A bulky guy is okay. I think women who are attracted to the "huge" types are generally masculine ones. A feminine woman might feel intimidated by such men. But I don't know. Maybe some women like those types. I still think that a woman prefers a man to look only slightly larger than her in comparison, if he is too big, it can look odd, as though she is walking around with some caveman. You get the idea, it can look unpleasant, beauty and the beast kind of situation instead of beauty and the prince. Personally I have never found such men attractive In the least, they look odd in my eyes. Too large. 

The men who are physically attractive are those that are also good evolutionary wise.

What I found in my personal observation is that women are not only emotinal creatures but also evolutionary creatures. They are attracted to things from an evolutionary perspective more than anything else. 

For example, a woman is very attracted  to a providing, protecting man. She is attracted to a taller man. She is attracted to an emotionally stimulating man. She is attracted to a physically healthy man with lean muscle. All of these factors point in only one direction -- evolution. 

Women's brains are hard wired for evolutionary purposes. That's how it will always be. They are attracted to what works long term to ensure their own survival and the survival of their offspring. That is secretly she is hunting for a good daddy. 

A patriarchal senstive guy is 10,000 times more attractive to her than a timid looking  manchild who can't get anything done. At the same time she doesn't prefer someone too aggressive because that doesn't work in favor 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Tyler Robinson

♡✸♡.

 Be careful being too demanding in relationships. Relate to the person at the level they are at, not where you need them to be.

You have to get out of the kitchen where Tate's energy exists ~ Tyler Robinson 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Looks get you to the interview, and personality gets you the job.


Foolish until proven other-wise ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Tyler Robinson

.....most younger guys have a similar thinking about getting bigger muscles for being more appealing to women.

I was seriously into weight lifting during college.  The kind of women I was attracted to turned out to be not into that look.   

I later learned that most women are happy with a man's body that is slim, fit ,with some muscles.......not an air hose lodged up the butt look.


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sometimes I used to go out to clubs with a friend who was very handsome . the girls came in to talk to him quite regularly. he was fit but it was mainly the features of his face. symmetry, green eyes, masculine appearance but not rude, defined lines but not hard. the girls pay much more attention to that than to a gym body, which normally denotes anxiety, an eagerness to be liked. Small masculinity.

Later the guy was a disaster with women, very addicted to sex, but with prostitutes on the street, incapable of a normal relationship... those things. but it seemed something else

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 7/26/2022 at 11:05 PM, Federico del pueblo said:

Sure, but it works a bit different for girls.

Women can find a man ridiculously fuckable even if he doesn't have their definition of perfect looks.

What for you is looks in a woman, for a woman this is strength/masculinity in a man. And if he also has great looks then it's still easier for him to attract her.

Why do women find Jason Statham hot? It's not mostly his looks (he's not thaaat handsome, rather edgy), it's how he carries himself.

Then why good looking people tend to be more confident? If looks didnt matter then there would be no correlation between looks and confidence but there is. For example i dont see any relation between confidence and the position which you sleep at night but i do see correlation between confidence and physical attractivness.

How much they matter though is up for debate.

I think it depends on the girls. Some girls i know dont care much about looks while others wont even bother dealing with a guy if he is not handsome in their eyes.

I personally think that the more insecure a girl is about her own looks, the more importance she will give to the looks of other guys. 

All subjective.

Edited by Karmadhi

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Karmadhi said:

Then why good looking people tend to be more confident? If looks didnt matter then there would be no correlation between looks and confidence but there is. For example i dont see any relation between confidence and the position which you sleep at night but i do see correlation between confidence and physical attractivness.

How much they matter though is up for debate.

I think it depends on the girls. Some girls i know dont care much about looks while others wont even bother dealing with a guy if he is not handsome in their eyes.

I personally think that the more insecure a girl is about her own looks, the more importance she will give to the looks of other guys. 

All subjective.

Well, I didn't say that looks don't matter. I said looks matter less for women than they do for men.

As a man you have much better possibilities to compensate for a lack of good looks.

Of course there is still an ideal in society for the looks of each gender.

And the ideal is to be good-looking, which for a man would mean to have a specific type of face and to be tall, muscular to an extend etc.

And because you're exposed to the ideals and standards (and rules) of society from an early age on (magazines, videos, movies, porn, other people) you'll be indoctrinated with that programming your entire life.

Consequently if you don't match up with the ideal you'll feel like you're not ideal and feel insecure about certain aspects of yourself.

And then you don't feel entitled to a certain type of girl, because she is more good looking than you and thus you won't even try.

And if you do decide to try years later down the road your behaviour will exude neediness and insecurity due to your beliefs about your looks.

And this is unfortunate, because you actually need BETTER game than the guy with better looks (who's on par with the hot girl looks wise), but you have worse game, probably much worse game.

So now you create a cycle of insecurity, negative beliefs and expectations which will be confirmed by the disinterest and rejections of girls and like this you don't improve.

That's why I would suggest to a lot of you guys here on the forum to finally stop obsessing so much about looks and shut up and do more of the actual work.

You should be brainwashing yourselves all day long with how little looks matter (even if it's not true), because you finally need to grow some positive self belief.

No more Instagram, no more Facebook, no mental masturbation here about looks, no fitness channels on YT.

Just get up, morning routine, affirmations/visualizations, push ups, work, going out and talking to girls.

Or instead you just join a black pill forum and ruin your life forever, it's y'alls' choice.

Edited by Federico del pueblo

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
12 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

Then why good looking people tend to be more confident? If looks didnt matter then there would be no correlation between looks and confidence but there is.

If you are good looking, everyone will treat you one way, and if you're ugly, another. this from childhood, to teachers. even your parents. there are experiments on symmetry in features and subconscious reactions. this will create a pattern of more or less self-confidence in you, since being social beings we see ourselves through the eyes of others, until we get out of that, of course. This self confident is borrowed, superficial and weak

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 7/27/2022 at 7:11 AM, Gesundheit2 said:

Looks get you to the interview, and personality gets you the job.

That's basically it, I would say.


“We are most nearly ourselves when we achieve the seriousness of the child at play.” - Heraclitus

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now