Why is hate comfortable and easier?

[BlueOak]

Why is hate comfortable and easier?

Gratitude for any answers.

Edited July 14, 2022 by BlueOak

[Thought Art]

Because people are different, do bad things. There is so much hate in the social ecosystem 

[BlueOak]

34 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

Because people are different, do bad things. There is so much hate in the social ecosystem 

When I want to express gratitude and love I have to make a conscious effort.

When I want to express hate I just need to reflect on something. Perhaps it is because there is so much hate pre-existing.

[_Archangel_]

@BlueOak because hate, like every personal feeling, reinforces the ego. And if you are born in this day and age, Ego-mode is the standard.
When Ego is seen through enough, i don't think you are ever capable of hating someone.

[BlueOak]

1 minute ago, _Archangel_ said:

@BlueOak because hate, like every personal feeling, reinforces the ego. And if you are born in this day and age, Ego-mode is the standard.
When Ego is seen through enough, i don't think you are ever capable of hating someone.

Yes I feel that. I don't hold hate, only if I've been through a trauma or something I can't let go of.

It's more that the ego is empowered when its speaking in a hateful way. It/I feel stronger, and more secure when my judgments are strong for example. When I put this in this place, and this in that place. It gives a great deal of control.

Whereas being in a loving or grateful state just feels good, it can encourage positive experiences sometimes.

[RickyFitts]

Because the feelings of powerlessness, despair, and grief that are lurking under negative emotions like hatred and resentment just seem too hard to face - we may not even be conscious that this is the reason, but I think that's ultimately what it boils down to, or at least so I've found in my own experience. And it can take great courage and concerted effort to release the resistance out of which such negativity arises, to soften into those underlying emotions and to allow them to be felt and expressed. People often try to rationalise away such feelings, or even deny their very existence, but they aren't going to go away just because we refuse to acknowledge them.

Don't take my word for it, though, pay attention to your inner state when you notice the arising of such negative feelings and investigate them for yourself. Feel the tension in your body, and allow it to release, allow your body to soften. See what other emotions arise, and just allow them to be felt.

[Razard86]

I don't personally have this problem but hate usually comes from one of two things. 

1. Someone you love is in danger so you hate what is trying to attack it.

2. Someone you love violated your trust/expectations of them.

So you could look into how this could be an issue for you in your life regarding these two things. But overall answer is because hatred is love, so you like to express your love through hate. Its a conditioned/learned response. A defense mechanism if you will.

[Thought Art]

Because you are selfish 

because you are unconscious 

because we live in the dark ages

cuz you don’t trip or do spiritual work

One must learn to love! Expand your identit, meet more people study epistemology / sociology 

Edited July 15, 2022 by Thought Art

[puporing]

Pain gets passed around unconsciously.

Few good role models.

Lack of truth in our environment.

Not transcending the limited self.

When someone does the work of healing their pain and becomes aware of its patterns, they're better able to end the cycle of passing it to others. 

Edited July 15, 2022 by puporing

[axiom]

Hate is only apparently easier. It’s not actually easier.

The more awake you are, you realise the extent to which hate infects your own cells (so to speak).

Hate is *always* hatred of oneself. 

[Matthew85]

@BlueOak Perhaps easier for some. Some would find it more challenging to hate. I feel a big part of it is related to your dominant state and habitual thought patterns. Your dominant state and habitual thought patterns have a momentum to them. It's always going to be easier for you to think and feel in the regular patterns you are accustomed to. 

[JuliusCaesar]

I often find it easier to forgive than hate. And sometimes I resent myself for it, feeling like a doormat. Wishing I were more selfish and ruthless.

[AuroraDream]

bewcause i think hate is the dominant force in the world so whatever has the strongest influence will have the strongest pull like gravity and pull us in naturally

[BlueOak]

I appreciate all of this, I do thank you. Some of this is true for my life some isn't. I am aware enough of my patterns to usually tell you them the second after they have happened. Studying more won't help change the underlying emotional state, it just expands my awareness of life and myself, spiritual work can help but I've done a lot. I feel just doing more spiritual work is the same, knowing isn't doing or feeling. It helps put you outside of something and remove the reactive emotional attachment but doesn't change the state beyond that.
 

3 hours ago, AuroraDream said:

bewcause i think hate is the dominant force in the world so whatever has the strongest influence will have the strongest pull like gravity and pull us in naturally

 

6 hours ago, Matthew85 said:

@BlueOak Perhaps easier for some. Some would find it more challenging to hate. I feel a big part of it is related to your dominant state and habitual thought patterns. Your dominant state and habitual thought patterns have a momentum to them. It's always going to be easier for you to think and feel in the regular patterns you are accustomed to. 

Yes :). Thank you this is what I feel. Its easier. Its just reflecting what's there in me and that takes no effort whatsoever, internally/externally to change. I would say laziness and just being comfortable with that status quo inside myself is the biggest vice I have. I value comfort so highly it influences everything.

 

10 hours ago, RickyFitts said:

Because the feelings of powerlessness, despair, and grief that are lurking under negative emotions like hatred and resentment just seem too hard to face - we may not even be conscious that this is the reason, but I think that's ultimately what it boils down to, or at least so I've found in my own experience. And it can take great courage and concerted effort to release the resistance out of which such negativity arises, to soften into those underlying emotions and to allow them to be felt and expressed. People often try to rationalise away such feelings, or even deny their very existence, but they aren't going to go away just because we refuse to acknowledge them.

Don't take my word for it, though, pay attention to your inner state when you notice the arising of such negative feelings and investigate them for yourself. Feel the tension in your body, and allow it to release, allow your body to soften. See what other emotions arise, and just allow them to be felt.

I do occasionally have negative internal feelings. Its not common now like they used to be, and they are gems of information when they happen. Usually related to an identity I have attached too much value or expectation on. Its more an overall state that I am still inside, like an egg for want of a better word. Where I favor judgmental responses as opposed to empathetic ones.  My default is judgment not empathy and this I dislike.
 

9 hours ago, Razard86 said:

So you could look into how this could be an issue for you in your life regarding these two things. But overall answer is because hatred is love, so you like to express your love through hate. Its a conditioned/learned response. A defense mechanism if you will.

Several years ago I told someone who reflected this judgment way of thinking to me the exact same thing, about their words being love expressed a different way. All source through a filter. There response was almost instant. Perhaps the conditioned state is so strong because of the pre-existing judgments in society, and so in myself.

If there are macro spiritual techniques, not dealing with a single emotion or trauma but an entire conditioned way of thinking/reacting that would be appreciated.

Alternatively, perhaps I just need to finally accept the judgmental authoritarian side of myself once and for all and stop resisting it :D.

Thanks all for your time.

Edited July 15, 2022 by BlueOak

[Razard86]

3 hours ago, BlueOak said:

I appreciate all of this, I do thank you. Some of this is true for my life some isn't. I am aware enough of my patterns to usually tell you them the second after they have happened. Studying more won't help change the underlying emotional state, it just expands my awareness of life and myself, spiritual work can help but I've done a lot. I feel just doing more spiritual work is the same, knowing isn't doing or feeling. It helps put you outside of something and remove the reactive emotional attachment but doesn't change the state beyond that.
 

 

Yes :). Thank you this is what I feel. Its easier. Its just reflecting what's there in me and that takes no effort whatsoever, internally/externally to change. I would say laziness and just being comfortable with that status quo inside myself is the biggest vice I have. I value comfort so highly it influences everything.

 

I do occasionally have negative internal feelings. Its not common now like they used to be, and they are gems of information when they happen. Usually related to an identity I have attached too much value or expectation on. Its more an overall state that I am still inside, like an egg for want of a better word. Where I favor judgmental responses as opposed to empathetic ones.  My default is judgment not empathy and this I dislike.
 

Several years ago I told someone who reflected this judgment way of thinking to me the exact same thing, about their words being love expressed a different way. All source through a filter. There response was almost instant. Perhaps the conditioned state is so strong because of the pre-existing judgments in society, and so in myself.

If there are macro spiritual techniques, not dealing with a single emotion or trauma but an entire conditioned way of thinking/reacting that would be appreciated.

Alternatively, perhaps I just need to finally accept the judgmental authoritarian side of myself once and for all and stop resisting it :D.

Thanks all for your time.

Even though we want to eventually transcend judgment coming to that conclusion takes time. There are stages of development and we can't and shouldn't skip steps, because it can lead to an imbalanced person. I've come to realize that every stage is important. Judgment is important to survival. You can only transcend judgment when you can recognize the value or beauty in everything but how can you do it unless you first experience them? Our love can grow to the point we transcend categories, labels, etc through recognition of those characteristics in our self.

It always comes back to self at the end of the day. Another reason we hate is because we feel powerless. So inadvertently we hate the person who oppresses us but also in a weird twisted way love the oppressor as well. 

People will say how? I don't love the person who victimized me!!

1. You obsess over how the person wronged you. Which means you are constantly thinking about them and paying attention to them. =Love

2. Everybody respects power, respect= Love.

 

[BlueOak]

@Razard86

Thanks

I need to love and respect the status quo more, the judgments more, the feeling of being judged more as that holds the status quo in place. That's what the collective reflection of the thread was showing me, and you pointed me towards in summary.

There is nothing wrong with being powerless, we all are powerless and powerful about a whole host of things. Including the judgments, we make and receive. Judgments are in every stage, integrated as part of life and often unspoken. I need to integrate something(s) that I have an emotional charge toward still. That's what this period of judgment has been about for me, dialing it up in intensity until I came to this conclusion.

Appreciate it. Hope I can offer the same to some of you in the future.

[Ulax]

I'd say out of the need for safety.

When you are hateful, your guard is up, the other person is perceived as a threat, so you are in more of a protective mode.

When you are loving to someone, your guard is not up as much, you are not percieving them, generally, as so much of a threat. So, you are less in protective mode.

When you hate therefore you are acting more in line with your perceived safety need.

[Clabber Girl]

I think it's due to societal norms... When you tell a friend or family member how you really love / admire then it can get weird. Men in the states are not really allowed to express their admiration for each other in this way.

[Razard86]

On 7/15/2022 at 3:54 PM, BlueOak said:

@Razard86

Thanks

I need to love and respect the status quo more, the judgments more, the feeling of being judged more as that holds the status quo in place. That's what the collective reflection of the thread was showing me, and you pointed me towards in summary.

There is nothing wrong with being powerless, we all are powerless and powerful about a whole host of things. Including the judgments, we make and receive. Judgments are in every stage, integrated as part of life and often unspoken. I need to integrate something(s) that I have an emotional charge toward still. That's what this period of judgment has been about for me, dialing it up in intensity until I came to this conclusion.

Appreciate it. Hope I can offer the same to some of you in the future.

Your insights have been great so for me personally you already have...even if you do have 666 posts number lol joke it doesn't mean anything.

But yeah I learned that judgment was wrong literally earlier this year. Before then I thought judgment was valid. Overcoming judgment as a man is one of our toughest barriers, we have been trained from birth to be judgmental, controlling, labeling, rational, power struggling humans. It is at the core of our masculinity. We have to transcend that by integrating the feminine that seeks to dispel all judgment. Then we bring both sides into union.

We learn to not judge, but still have the wisdom of discernment. 

We all develop at our own pace.