RoerAmit

I’m a nerd logical guy. How the fuck to talk with a hot woman?

51 posts in this topic

So stuck im thinking and “shoulding” on myself when I am interacting with women.

How does a very successful guy with women talk to them? What Should I change in myself in order to be good with girls? How we talk emotionally?

Sometimes I lose hope and I suffer.

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Posted (edited)

I haven't embarked on this process yet, but it's the next step in my journey. One of the things you want to be able to do is always come up with things to say, and never allow silence to fall dead. Always be able to come up with something to say. What I would reccommend is listening to a lot of podcasts and transcribing them. Look for lots of different types of conversations between people of very differing personalities. There are services you can pay to do this for you that are somewhat reasonable in price. Then upon those transcriptions, try to think about what the exact thought processes were behind what those people said and write it down in the margins. Look for repeating patterns. Of course they will not be the exact thought patterns that the people were actually using. You're interpreting it your own way. Because at the end of the day, the best tool you have is your own interpretation. So you will always be able to come up with things to say based upon your own interpretation of language and such. Look for all the patterns you can find, and memorize them. Make them very abstract and flexible, such as "reporting to someone the details of what happened and how my perspective was before the event, how it changed during the event, and how it was different after the event as opposed to what it was before the event". That is something that people talk about all the time and they don't even realize it. But you will. Look for hundreds of these abstract, complex, flexible things, and write them down and memorize them. Then, in any situation, you will never run out of things to say. Make sure that it is as foolproof as possible and is able to work in as many situations as possible. This will have to be done with your own discretion. But you must remember that it is going off of your interpretation of a situation that you are in, and that is fine, because your interpretation of it is what counts. What is a self but an interpretation anyway?

Edited by Myagooshki

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You have train yourself to not be logical with women.

The words coming out of your mouth should not conform to any kind of logic or make much sense.

Basically, be stupid and fun.

It requires lots of practice, so stop sitting around and hit the field.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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@RoerAmit Does what Leo said make sense to you phenomenologically? I remember when I went to a bar and tried that. I was drunk, of course. It was a very weird experience. I went up to these ladies and I literally started saying stream of consciousness stuff. It was very random. Lots of random imagery, stuff like farmers riding on the tops of trains, lots of big words, I remember at one point I said "a jestful occurence is a jestful occurence". They were scowling at me and such and getting angry. I might have said to one of them "you're nothing but a rhinoceros!" and then started talking to somebody else, which also felt like a fight, and then a middle aged woman came up to me and said "ooo baby" and stroked my chest and then went back dancing with the guy she was with and he looked at me frustratedly. An interesting experience that I haven't repeated, but I don't think it would get anywhere if I did it again. Which is why I would say do the podcast transcription thing and then channel your stream of consciousness with actual coherent verbage.

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3 hours ago, RoerAmit said:

So stuck im thinking and “shoulding” on myself when I am interacting with women.

How does a very successful guy with women talk to them? What Should I change in myself in order to be good with girls? How we talk emotionally?

Sometimes I lose hope and I suffer.

I find it so hard to come up with things to say, that aren’t boring ass logical interview questions. I guess practice is the only solution 

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@Joel3102 yet if practice is the only solution, then reality is a caste system of those who have experience and those who do not. Will you stand for that? I will not. And it seems that it isn't reality anyway, because conversations are so subjective. You can really mastermind them.

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Posted (edited)

32 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

You have train yourself to not be logical with women.

The words coming out of your mouth should not conform to any kind of logic or make much sense.

Basically, be stupid and fun.

It requires lots of practice, so stop sitting around and hit the field.

@RoerAmit Don’t listen to that. I find logical men super attractive, it is one of the biggest turn ons for me. Just don’t be creepy and dress well. I hate stupid and fun guys. Well… I do love funny guys, but being funny requires intelligence. Do develop your EQ though because guys who are just logical are dumb, but in a different way. Although I don’t have much practice in pick up, but basically my point is, girls who like logical guys do exist but maybe you could catch more fish with a wider net - and then eventually find someone who appreciates you for you - but you do need to practice to get to that point.

Edited by Khr

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I personally think that I am rather hot and get approached by guys very often. What they talk about? 

Various stuff. U don't have to be illogical completely. That's botox! 

I work in finance and before that in IT, so not all girls are silly and stupid and despise logical convos. Its a myth! But I would just say keep it light and fun! 

Potential topics can be

- hobbies

- sports

- her passion or her work

- food and drink - what she likes/dislikes

- travel experiences

- covid news 😂😂😂

- anything light and fun really

Good luck! 

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@RoerAmit  I like logical guys.

I don't like "stupid and fun" the way Leo says it.

I don't even know what that means. 

But I would be turned off if a guy was acting stupid because it would mean  I'm stupid.

So the answer to your question will be that you be your authentic self.

I don't know about hot girls. But my advice will for authentic women.

 


 INTP loner... .shy girl.. The devil loves me a bit too much. 

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3 minutes ago, Lucas-fgm said:

Bro, don't listen to women, just try to be extroverted, whether it"s logical or not it doesn't matter.

The most stupid guys I know are the ones that get laid the most.

 

That’s because most people in the world are stupid, nothing to do with gender. It depends on what OP wants. If OP just wants lay-count, which I am assuming is the case there, then yes statistically speaking he will need to dumb down. If eventually he wants a true connection he needs to embrace who he is.

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2 minutes ago, Lucas-fgm said:

Be a smart guy is really important for a long-term relationship or something deeper. But at the moment you meet the girl, being logical is not important.

Yea, I guess that makes sense, if the first few sentences are intense and super logical, that would come off as creepy. 

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25 minutes ago, Lucas-fgm said:

Be a smart guy is really important for a long-term relationship or something deeper.

All the girls that fell in love with me, saw me as some kind of leader and they started  immediately embracing my world views( including the political ones and everything else) ( even the clothes lol)

Even my sweaters, the colors, style, everything. lol

So in this case, being intelligent is really important, women will have a harder time following stupid men.

 

But at the moment you meet the girl, being logical is not important.

Such bullcrap

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1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

The logical guy is the best guy ....imo.

Ehhh.. in my experience, not really.. I’ve met some logical guys and if they lack EQ it’s a nightmare - it’s like talking to a robot that’s constantly calculating what’s the best thing to do based on data.

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Just now, Khr said:

Ehhh.. in my experience, not really.. I’ve met some logical guys and if they lack EQ it’s a nightmare - it’s like talking to a robot that’s constantly calculating what’s the best thing to do based on data.

In that case the best combo would be a guy who is logical along with "emotionally logical" you know what I mean, like some guys who are overly emotional (I'm scared of such men) because they could be manipulative. I had dated an emotional guy,but he was very manipulative. Yet the robot was not able to create feelings but I liked his honesty.


 INTP loner... .shy girl.. The devil loves me a bit too much. 

Quick access to journal entries

 

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@Khr like I would like to divide emotional into two categories

Emotional - this is making sense. Logical Emotional

Emotional - this is not making sense.. Illogical emotional. 

The second option is much harder because some people are Illogical without intent, just acting immature

Whereas with some people are Illogical emotionally and that's because their emotions are fake and don't corroborate with their reality, they are hiding something. Incongruous.

 

 


 INTP loner... .shy girl.. The devil loves me a bit too much. 

Quick access to journal entries

 

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Posted (edited)

4 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

In that case the best combo would be a guy who is logical along with "emotionally logical" you know what I mean, like some guys who are overly emotional (I'm scared of such men) because they could be manipulative. I had dated an emotional guy,but he was very manipulative. Yet the robot was not able to create feelings but I liked his honesty.

Yea, that is the best thing. But not fake “emotional logic” though that they had to learn from “how to win friends and influence people”, that also sucks. But yea I know what you mean with guys who are manipulative like that.

Edited by Khr

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4 hours ago, RoerAmit said:

So stuck im thinking and “shoulding” on myself when I am interacting with women.

How does a very successful guy with women talk to them? What Should I change in myself in order to be good with girls? How we talk emotionally?

Sometimes I lose hope and I suffer.

Rules and fear on what you might say are the kicker here.

It just takes a bunch of experience and practice to get over all your fears of:

-not gaining the girls approval

-causing a negative interaction 

-saying something extremely stupid causing the girl to think negatively of you

 

In time with a lot of practice you will be able to be comfortable just talking to not only women, but any human being or stranger 

at all in a comfortable and even humorous (if appropriate) way.

 

But it takes a mastery of emotions. Its not a logical thing or thing you can do with your mind by just theorizing.

Thats why you gotta get out there and practice where your emotions are they key factor.

 

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@Khr yep. Met plenty of such dudes. In Singapore lota of guys like that with 0 EQ. Cause finance and other industries require a strong logical mind. Normally in such guys emotions and EQ in general are underdeveloped. 

And yes I felt like I am dealing with the robot. If a guy is super emotional, but yet logical it's actually the best. Because I can relate better and see his emotions and how he feels and we can discuss our emotions openly. 

I find it hard to believe that a very emotional guy can manipulate in any way. What he does is he is just expressing his emotions and if you are uncomfortable with his emotional expressiveness, and take it for manipulation, what it means is you simply having hard time reading his emotions for what they are, which means you have issues recognising and feeling your own emotions most likely. 

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Posted (edited)

4 hours ago, Vzdoh said:

I find it hard to believe that a very emotional guy can manipulate in any way. What he does is he is just expressing his emotions and if you are uncomfortable with his emotional expressiveness, and take it for manipulation, what it means is you simply having hard time reading his emotions for what they are, which means you have issues recognising and feeling your own emotions most likely. 

It’s because you’ve been blessed not to date any narcs - you would need direct experience to see why. My old narcs would cry in front of me, tell me about their sad childhoods, be super vulnerable, tell me how they want to open up orphanages 😅.  Now I’ve learned my lesson so if in the first 3-6 months the guy is crying to me about how his dad never loved him I’m gtfo 😶.

Edited by Khr

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