Third Experience - 5-meo-dmt 23mg Semi-breakthrough (insufflated)

[Don_Avocado]

Hello all,

If you're reading this fresh, then I recommend you read my previous two posts on my experience with 5-MeO-DMT. As I have discussed in previous posts, 5-MeO-DMT is the only psychedelic I have ever used. My only preparation for usage of this substance has been 1 year of vipassana meditation practice, and careful study of non-duality / psychology texts.

On this occasion, the setting was a quiet morning at home alone. I felt slightly nervous going into this experience today, as my previous experience (second experience) had been so utterly bizarre... nonetheless, I was calm and ready. I queued up some meditation music, and this time I weighed out 23mg of the substance, split into 2 lines, insufflated into each nostril and laid back. Following advice given by other members in the forum, I rested with my head upside down for 10 minutes, gently massaging the substance into my nostril.

This trip was different. My pulse went through the roof and my breathing appeared to come to a stop. I now fully understand why some people experience such a bad trip using this substance; unless you're fully ready to let go and accept your own death (yes, this is really what it feels like), then you may just end up in your own self-constructed, self-perpetuated hell. When people say nothing can prepare you for what you will experience during the "come on", pay no attention. It can be scary, but you have to be mindful that it is simply your ego kicking and screaming as it is pushed out of existence (temporarily). You can prepare for the come on through (in my experience) vipassana meditation. I also recommend reading and contemplating some non-duality texts. I've also found that meditation music can help you get through the "come on" - I find it very effective to turn this off once you're into the full trip (if you can!).

As my pulse shot up, and my breathing appeared to subside, I indeed felt some fear; I also felt slightly nauseated. I could either perpetuate that fear, and enter a world of existential horror, or I could allow it to be; let go of my mind and body - accept my death, so to speak. I went with the latter.

The first stage of this trip, I experienced the same sexual energy that I had in my 16mg trip; I was pure sexual energy. My whole experience was permeated by this state that I can only allude to as orgasm... Although this time around, the state did not endure - I went a level deeper. I realised my true self - the infinite observing consciousness of the entire universe; although, I call this a "semi-breakthrough" experience, as some awareness of my grasping ego remained. I'm sure with a slightly higher dose (30mg) will probably push me that final step further.

None of you would believe the extent to which our egos shape our material existence. Seriously, it's unfathomable. Our true nature is totally empty; it's perfect, blissful & infinite. I spent maybe 10 minutes (although it felt infinitely longer) in this state (mostly), observing the ego and the body flickering in and out of existence. Toward the back end of this experience, I had a number of experiential and intellectual realisations. Our human life is like a "glove" of the universe; a veneer that exists only to be aware of itself. It's hard to explain. Our ego literally throws our sensory perceptions into a navigable matrix of sorts - human life is but a game, and we have infinite possibilities. Our suffering is optional. I experienced this directly.

What we have here guys is a gift. As I came down from the experience, I experienced myself literally "coming down", as if I was being birthed into a new form... My body and breath came back into experience... I felt awareness gently permeating each part of my body, as if I was being "filled up" from nothingness. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced. I opened my eyes and looked at my hand; it was like I had never seen it before. I immediately knew that my purpose here in this life was to do the work of what I know to be god - to experience myself fully - to do subjective good in the world - to help alleviate the suffering of others.

This life is all temporary - don't take it too seriously. There is NOTHING to go after... I say this in an experiential and intellectual sense. The intellectual sense is easy to get, but the experiential sense is difficult - this is what 5-MeO-DMT is truly useful for. When you realise your true nature, your attachments and neuroses' in this human life will begin to crumble - the question is whether you're psychologically mature enough to take this blow.

[WaveInTheOcean]

1 hour ago, Snick said:

 

"but I can't accept that my ambition and my pending execution of it, has no importance in the bigger scale of things!"

Your doings in life has both zero importance and infinite importance. No importance and infinite importance are two sides of the same coin.
For there to be a 'meaning' of anything, there absolutely have to be no-meaning of everything.

And virce versa.

For there to be no meaning of life - to even discuss this matter/say these words - there has to be a meaning of life from the individual's perspective.

[WaveInTheOcean]

2 hours ago, Don_Avocado said:

Hello all,

If you're reading this fresh, then I recommend you read my previous two posts on my experience with 5-MeO-DMT. As I have discussed in previous posts, 5-MeO-DMT is the only psychedelic I have ever used. My only preparation for usage of this substance has been 1 year of vipassana meditation practice, and careful study of non-duality / psychology texts.

On this occasion, the setting was a quiet morning at home alone. I felt slightly nervous going into this experience today, as my previous experience (second experience) had been so utterly bizarre... nonetheless, I was calm and ready. I queued up some meditation music, and this time I weighed out 23mg of the substance, split into 2 lines, insufflated into each nostril and laid back. Following advice given by other members in the forum, I rested with my head upside down for 10 minutes, gently massaging the substance into my nostril.

This trip was different. My pulse went through the roof and my breathing appeared to come to a stop. I now fully understand why some people experience such a bad trip using this substance; unless you're fully ready to let go and accept your own death (yes, this is really what it feels like), then you may just end up in your own self-constructed, self-perpetuated hell. When people say nothing can prepare you for what you will experience during the "come on", pay no attention. It can be scary, but you have to be mindful that it is simply your ego kicking and screaming as it is pushed out of existence (temporarily). You can prepare for the come on through (in my experience) vipassana meditation. I also recommend reading and contemplating some non-duality texts. I've also found that meditation music can help you get through the "come on" - I find it very effective to turn this off once you're into the full trip (if you can!).

As my pulse shot up, and my breathing appeared to subside, I indeed felt some fear; I also felt slightly nauseated. I could either perpetuate that fear, and enter a world of existential horror, or I could allow it to be; let go of my mind and body - accept my death, so to speak. I went with the latter.

The first stage of this trip, I experienced the same sexual energy that I had in my 16mg trip; I was pure sexual energy. My whole experience was permeated by this state that I can only allude to as orgasm... Although this time around, the state did not endure - I went a level deeper. I realised my true self - the infinite observing consciousness of the entire universe; although, I call this a "semi-breakthrough" experience, as some awareness of my grasping ego remained. I'm sure with a slightly higher dose (30mg) will probably push me that final step further.

None of you would believe the extent to which our egos shape our material existence. Seriously, it's unfathomable. Our true nature is totally empty; it's perfect, blissful & infinite. I spent maybe 10 minutes (although it felt infinitely longer) in this state (mostly), observing the ego and the body flickering in and out of existence. Toward the back end of this experience, I had a number of experiential and intellectual realisations. Our human life is like a "glove" of the universe; a veneer that exists only to be aware of itself. It's hard to explain. Our ego literally throws our sensory perceptions into a navigable matrix of sorts - human life is but a game, and we have infinite possibilities. Our suffering is optional. I experienced this directly.

What we have here guys is a gift. As I came down from the experience, I experienced myself literally "coming down", as if I was being birthed into a new form... My body and breath came back into experience... I felt awareness gently permeating each part of my body, as if I was being "filled up" from nothingness. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced. I opened my eyes and looked at my hand; it was like I had never seen it before. I immediately knew that my purpose here in this life was to do the work of what I know to be god - to experience myself fully - to do subjective good in the world - to help alleviate the suffering of others.

This life is all temporary - don't take it too seriously. There is NOTHING to go after... I say this in an experiential and intellectual sense. The intellectual sense is easy to get, but the experiential sense is difficult - this is what 5-MeO-DMT is truly useful for. When you realise your true nature, your attachments and neuroses' in this human life will begin to crumble - the question is whether you're psychologically mature enough to take this blow.

Great report as always.

Can you specify what kind of meditation music you listened to?

[Don_Avocado]

@WaveInTheOcean link to the Spotify album below - Quiet Night Meditation - very calming, very helpful when coming into the trip.

 

[Don_Avocado]

@Snick Hello my friend; not a problem, hopefully my experiences are helpful to you.

I can see quite clearly from my experience with 5-MeO-DMT why some people have such bad trips, as per this and previous reports. I really do recommend some prior work, particularly meditation. This is not a magic pill so to speak, especially if the user is a novice to consciousness work. I think it's good to go with your intuition, and when you feel you understand what it means to let go experientially, then by all means try the substance... but as I have done, build it up gradually.

In regards to life purpose, do not confused this with consciousness work. In my experience, life is completely without meaning, yet don't take this as a negative - be mindful of your ego snapping you back to that depressive conclusion - it's only your conditioning that leads you to believe that you NEED "meaning", and to be without it is to suffer. If life is without inherent meaning, and our true nature is infinite, then what does this actually mean to us as human beings? It means we are the architects of meaning in our lives; we choose our purpose.

You need to do some inquiry into your association of lack of "meaning" and suffering. Yes, everything we do in this life is temporary and will inevitably be taken from ourselves and the wider world by death, entropy etc... but this is LIBERATING... to me, it seems like you're holding a mental dichotomy with consciousness work on one side, and life purpose work on the other. Do not be tossed between these two wretched extremes. That's just more ego.

Whilst you are here in this life, you have a chance to spread your message and do your work; but you have to stay conscious of the truth. You will always rest easy knowing that you are already complete & part of the totality of the universe. You can end your mental suffering; but only if you can hold LOOSELY to your conceptual ideas & beliefs. You can significantly reduce your attachments to thinking without ending your life purpose work.

Maybe you also need to question the motives of your life purpose; is there a craving & desire to be seen in a certain way? Or are your motives totally authentic & meaningful to YOU?

[AlwaysBeNice]

Great, thanks for sharing.

Do you feel like you have been able to carry a lasting part into your daily life and meditations already?

[Leo Gura]

@Don_Avocado Good stuff! Now go deeper

[Don_Avocado]

52 minutes ago, AlwaysBeNice said:

Great, thanks for sharing.

Do you feel like you have been able to carry a lasting part into your daily life and meditations already?

I think it would be too early for me to comment on that - I will be posting something on this a month or two after achieving a breakthrough state.

However, I will so short term effects at lower doses have been noticeable. I think when you experience something directly, it doesn't matter what your previous beliefs or ideas were about something, they will either be validated or shattered so to speak.

I don't want to mistake a state for the truth, but I am currently experiencing reduced uncertainty about goals I have set for myself. There's also a noticeable amount more self-confidence having seen that my death is not the end and this is all only temporary. I also have a bit of a clearer head and more of a mindful state over the past few days, and have been better able to relax and enjoy the subtle beauty of all things in life.

[Don_Avocado]

15 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Don_Avocado Good stuff! Now go deeper

I'm working on it, one dose at a time

[cetus]

@Leo Gura @Don_Avocado Why does 5meo- dmt  shift awareness?  Would it be safe to say that it's works through the physical body chemically. The brain specifically.  Some level of 5meo is found naturally accruing in the brain. Where I'm heading here is:  "Do you think since you introduced high levels of 5meo to your body / mind in a positive way, that your body could recognize that natural chemical and produce more of it?    http://www.dmtsite.com/5-meo-dmt/information/chemistry.html

Edited October 31, 2016 by cetus56

[Sano Morphing]

Patience, PATIENCE! Oh my god I so wanna go much deeper in personal development but waiting for the right time and right place to come, will catch up with you guys!

[Don_Avocado]

1 hour ago, cetus56 said:

@Leo Gura @Don_Avocado Why does 5meo- dmt  shift awareness?  Would it be safe to say that it's works through the physical body chemically. The brain specifically.  Some level of 5meo is found naturally accruing in the brain. Where I'm heading here is:  "Do you think since you introduced high levels of 5meo to your body / mind in a positive way, that your body could recognize that natural chemical and produce more of it?    http://www.dmtsite.com/5-meo-dmt/information/chemistry.html

I couldn't say, I'm not a chemist / biologist, I'm just some idiot absorbing the wisdom of others .

On a serious note though, in my own experiments I've found that direct experience can put an end to intellectual grasping... whether or not there is a lasting chemical change I do not know... I feel more easy having received some answers, if that makes sense.

[Leo Gura]

@cetus56 Obviously it works through the brain. How exactly? No one knows. It just works like crazy!

If you want to naturally produce more of it, it won't happen automatically. You'd have do some serious training for that, if it's possible at all. We just don't know much about the mechanics of biological consciousness at this point.

Although I don't even think that's necessary. Just the fact that is opens you up is already enough. And that effect sticks. You can't just have a breakthrough dose of 5-meo and then go about your everyday life in the Matrix. Once you experience God for REAL, your life will forever take on a new trajectory.

[David1]

7 hours ago, cetus56 said:

@Leo Gura @Don_Avocado Why does 5meo- dmt  shift awareness?  Would it be safe to say that it's works through the physical body chemically. The brain specifically.  Some level of 5meo is found naturally accruing in the brain. Where I'm heading here is:  "Do you think since you introduced high levels of 5meo to your body / mind in a positive way, that your body could recognize that natural chemical and produce more of it?    http://www.dmtsite.com/5-meo-dmt/information/chemistry.html

Just as a side note...I dug around a little in this subject, and yes, it's all still very vague. But there are some hunches. I posted a vid some time ago wherein Seth Lloyd explains at some point why we can differentiate between between 10000's of different smells while we only have roughly 400 different smell receptors. There is some circumstantial evidence that the weight of the molecule and thus it's vibrational frequency plays a role. Molecules with a similar vibrational frequency smell similar. DMT locks into the serotonin and melatonin receptors in the brain, so maybe akin to smell, the vibrational frequency of the molecule causes the shift in awareness. Just a wild guess...

The part about smell starts at 43:00

 

[Hunter Arrington]

@cetus56 Pioneer this field. 

[pluto]

We are the universe, aware of itself

I almost had a tear in my eye reading what you wrote because i came to the same realizations myself on N,N-DMT, the more i read these reports the more i remember my own experience. It all falls into place perfect and indeed my friend, its all a game, all temporary illusion for creation to learn more about itself.

Coming down is indeed just as amazing, its like being reborn again, one time i remember i had to re-create the whole universe to put myself back into where i was in physical form at that time/space. (always makes me think about how and where is everyone else when im gone?)

Suffering is a choice and the ego is the biggest bitch i have come across and fear only exists due to disconnection. My first experience terrified me but as i went deeper i connected to a higher-self of me which made everything clear that there is only love and i was told i did not take enough by the entities i met later realizing they are my own higher-mind(if you will) talking to me.

Back on earth as i would say it i was so scared of going back in but i had the ultimate craving to connect to everything again and see it all again, i said fuck the ego and double the dose, 10-15 seconds horror followed by the most amazing experience of my life after i surrendered completely. I noticed on N,N they try to visually hypnotize you, the key is to let them.

We are talking to ourselves, there is really no one else. Everything is One, everything is a play, a dance a musical.

Play with life like a child plays in the stand pit and you will literally thrive!