Danioover9000

Was I confidence tested?

28 posts in this topic

    While back, I was in a library in college, reading a book at one of the tables, minding my own life. Three women came and sat on the table I'm at. One of them asked what book I was reading. I said poetry, without looking. The other asked if I could watch her bag. I said no thanks, while the third girl apologises for her friends talking. I realized something was wrong, and felt defensive. A teacher came by to silence noise coming from the other tables. I took this chance to place that book in the middle of the table to them, and left.

   Were they testing me, or what? I was minding my own business.

   

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eh don't overthink it 

just let it go if you didn't feel like socializing with them

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I don't understand the ending of your story. But sounds like this was their way of flirting with you.

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thanks for making me laugh lol

they sat with you cause they wanted to talk to you.

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You should have looked at all three of them in the eye and started grunting to assert your dominance over your territory...

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@RendHeaven

On 4/10/2021 at 11:14 PM, RendHeaven said:

bruh lmao loosen up and have a casual chatxD

   Was not my priority back then.

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@Lyubov

On 4/11/2021 at 2:22 AM, Lyubov said:

eh don't overthink it 

just let it go if you didn't feel like socializing with them

   I'll keep that in mind. Although in future I'm less likely to sit in college libraries for the time being. I just found it strange they wanted to sit where I'm at, because I'm pretty messy looking myself. I didn't even give them any excuses either, just replied matter of fact, straight, no friendliness. That one girl did sound like she was picking on me a bit. I think that's were my defensiveness came up.

   Yeah, let it go I guess.

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@universe

On 4/11/2021 at 2:54 AM, universe said:

I don't understand the ending of your story. But sounds like this was their way of flirting with you.

   Oh, the ending was that one of the librarian teachers came by, to silence chatter coming from the other tables. I saw how the three girls clammed up when the teacher came. I took that opportunity to get up, leave my book, and leave them. I felt annoyed by this situation because I'm ugly on that day, and did not signal whatsoever my interest on them. I was getting into the book I was reading. 

   Maybe I was acting strange somehow, or looked strange, so they decided to ambush me. I don't know, I know enough about body language and  tonality that they were not hitting me up for sure. I was caught off guard. 

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@Kshantivadin

On 4/11/2021 at 3:17 AM, Kshantivadin said:

thanks for making me laugh lol

they sat with you cause they wanted to talk to you.

   Good to know, except I wasn't open to it, nor wanted this to happen. Though I'm making myself laugh too.

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@Bando

On 4/11/2021 at 1:55 PM, Bando said:

You should have looked at all three of them in the eye and started grunting to assert your dominance over your territory...

   You gave me an idea. Next time, although it's now less likely I'll ever want to be that social because of the annoyance, but next time, I have to tell myself I'll have to nail a woman who's clearly teasing me. Otherwise, I just shut down inside, and later, just leave if I can. I wasn't looking for this.

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Posted (edited)

@Chew211

12 hours ago, Chew211 said:

d90893286ba3fad6eba6e303889906663700876af58df34b8d845d92487ca277_1.jpg

   WTF is this? Is my suffering some kind of joke? I did not ask for this situation to happen. I was reading, minding my business. Because of that, I felt less secure using the library to study notes or read books. Just thinking about it makes me feel a bit depressed.

   If anything, I have the exact opposite of that post.

Edited by Danioover9000

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Posted (edited)

Some people want to socialize, they enjoy it, they seek it out. 

I also question peoples motives constantly, so i know where your coming from. There could be scars from childhood, being deceived by children, can make someone overly sensitive to other people hidden intentions. 

Edited by integral

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@integral

3 minutes ago, integral said:

Some people want to socialize, they enjoy it, they seek it out. 

   Good for them! Except I wasn't giving any signals to invite strangers for a chit chat, nor invite teasing from strangers. I don't sit down on a table, see a stranger absorbed by his work, study, or book, and go interrupt for casual talk, or tease or whatever. Maybe the better question is how do I full proof myself to stop people from doing this to me? 

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7 minutes ago, Danioover9000 said:

Good for them! Except I wasn't giving any signals to invite strangers for a chit chat, nor invite teasing from strangers. I don't sit down on a table, see a stranger absorbed by his work, study, or book, and go interrupt for casual talk, or tease or whatever. Maybe the better question is how do I full proof myself to stop people from doing this to me? 

Some people (those girls) just have a buzz about them sometimes where they just want to interact, and unfortunately they aren't always perceptive to other peoples emotional states.

As for your question, look man you don't want to do this. You are thinking about this from a place of fear, which I know you know is not a good thing. Being even more guarded and reclusive may "protect" you a bit better against people like this, but you have to understand they are rare anyways. What's even worse is you would be closing yourself to all the beautiful, positive interactions you might have.

The question you should be asking yourself is, "How do I let go and become emotionally unphased when others aren't being considerate".

That place of strength is where you want to go, and you will not get there by being protective. You think being "protected" makes you strong, but in fact it's the exact opposite. What makes you strong is being vulnerable and then building up from the hits you take.


"If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him."

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@integral

7 minutes ago, integral said:

@Danioover9000 Why do you want control? 

   Because While I'm doing stuff, I don't want to be interrupted. I also don't like being teased. The combination of teasing and interruption makes me feel annoyed, and the longer those people do me, the more annoyed I get, and I might start feeling anger and worry that the situation could get worse. After all that, leaving the situation behind me, I suddenly feel depressed or some form of apathy, maybe to shovel off excess energy from that situation. Like you've said when you edited you're post just now it could be related to the far past of my childhood. I'll have to dig around and take a psychoanalysis person for this. It's honestly not a pleasant thing to go through, like I didn't do shit to invite this to me!

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27 minutes ago, Danioover9000 said:

Maybe the better question is how do I full proof myself to stop people from doing this to me? 

Yourself is already full proof. Inspect the beliefs that don’t resonate. Be less conditional, by laughing at yourself instead of defending. It’s very liberating. Might be scary, but then once you do, it’s freeing. 

Just advice of course, but it seems like you’re asking about what these three females problem was... when you could be asking about why you have a problem with it. Yes, reasons come up, but try to witness them without reacting so you can extract the insights. This brings clarity to deciphering which emotion you’re experiencing, and using the emotional scale from that emotion up, works. If you find it doesn’t work... you can ask for help with that aspect, that’s making progress.


MEDITATIONS TOOLS  ActualityOfBeing.com  GUIDANCE SESSIONS

NONDUALITY LOA  My Youtube Channel  THE TRUE NATURE

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