I'm A Confused 17 Year Old. Please Help

[IAmPaulQuinn]

 

 

I'm so curious about the difference between true success and false success.

 

This video was eye-opening, but I need more information to really believe it.

 

I'm 17 years old right now. I want to know the TRUE PATH that will lead me to fulfillment. Please, give me more information, this video was not enough.

 

Questions:

1.) What areas on life should I focus on to be fulfilled and die with a smile on my face? (Ex: Financial security, Family, Passion?, etc.)

2.) One thing that motivates me to follow society's definition of 'success' is acquiring girls and having sex. Funnily enough, I want to know if this is a trap and should I just be me and just find that one simple girl who likes me for who I am?

 

Thank you.

 

 

 

[universe]

1 hour ago, IAmPaulQuinn said:

1.) What areas on life should I focus on to be fulfilled and die with a smile on my face? (Ex: Financial security, Family, Passion?, etc.)

That is for you to find out. Everyone is different but some research has been done and some dots have been connected. Check out this website or this course for what they are. https://www.coursera.org/learn/the-science-of-well-being

You can learn from other peoples experiences just make sure to get their authentic and true story. You would be shocked to find out that many people who you think are happy are actually feeling miserable on the inside without anyone noticing.

There is a book called "The Top Five Regrets of the Dying" which I can recommend you to read or maybe find a video explaining it.

One thing I would recommend you to learn and get into now is emotional mastery. Learn to accept and feel your emotions.

 

1 hour ago, IAmPaulQuinn said:

2.) One thing that motivates me to follow society's definition of 'success' is acquiring girls and having sex. Funnily enough, I want to know if this is a trap and should I just be me and just find that one simple girl who likes me for who I am?

Yes and no. Sex is kinda like money or alcohol. You will feel great for a while but it doesn't last. And definitely get a girl that likes you for who you are. You will resent her otherwise. For dating, don't think about success too much. Think more about character traits that are masculine. Girls are more attracted to those masculine traits in you than to your success (which would be merely a reflection of those traits). They want the real deal.

As for success, you better find your own definition of it, if you don't agree with what society or the commercials tell you.

[BlackMaze]

You are so lucky watching these videos in this age. Get the life purpose course and start there. I wish i knew this concept and did the course when i was 17. My life would be completely different now. 

1. Ideally have and experience everything. Master all these areas. Start with life purpose. Read many books and apply them. Not only books but apply everything you learn immediately don't waste time. 

2. Who are you? Do you know? 

Build yourself up to be confident and attractive to women sure. If you are a man and you are acing life they will get attracted to you. Emotional mastery is the most attractive trait you could have. At this age do whatever you want. You can afford to make mistakes. A good relationship is always better though. It's not only about fucking. Get it out of your system by having sex this is important but in the end is about the relationship. About connecting with your partner and being able to communicate. To have a successful relationship is rare. That's why you have to look for it. To be a player for the eyes of others it's a trap yes. If you feel like it be one though. You are free to do whatever you want and learn from the results. 

[IAmPaulQuinn]

1 hour ago, universe said:

There is a book called "The Top Five Regrets of the Dying" which I can recommend you to read or maybe find a video explaining it.

 

Interesting suggestion. Thank you, universe!

1 hour ago, universe said:

 

[allislove]

@IAmPaulQuinn

Don't take life too serious, pay attention to what you feel, not what you think. If some idea doesn't feel good - do not believe in it. That's all  

To show what I mean:
 

Quote

1.) What areas on life should I focus on to be fulfilled and die with a smile on my face? (Ex: Financial security, Family, Passion?, etc.)

Any area that brings happiness/peace/joy/passion/appreciation/empowerment/freedom to your heart. It's not like there is only one area during one lifetime so to speak. Try all of them and see what resonates the most. It may be helpful to look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

Quote

2.) One thing that motivates me to follow society's definition of 'success' is acquiring girls and having sex. Funnily enough, I want to know if this is a trap and should I just be me and just find that one simple girl who likes me for who I am?

There is nothing wrong with society's definition of 'success' if you don't cling to it. It's fine to have relationship with a lot of girls, it's fine to have relationship with one simple girl. Everything is fine here, IF you listen to your feelings, if it feels like happiness/peace/joy/passion/appreciation/empowerment/freedom.

Dream, create, enjoy 

[Meditationdude]

@IAmPaulQuinn just wanted to say how lucky you are to have found interest in this work at such a young age. I was 29 when I started getting my shit together. 

[Nahm]

17 hours ago, IAmPaulQuinn said:

Questions:

1.) What areas on life should I focus on to be fulfilled and die with a smile on my face? (Ex: Financial security, Family, Passion?, etc.)

All of them, if you want to experience all of them. 

17 hours ago, IAmPaulQuinn said:

2.) One thing that motivates me to follow society's definition of 'success' is acquiring girls and having sex. Funnily enough, I want to know if this is a trap and should I just be me and just find that one simple girl who likes me for who I am?

 

As if not being you were an option. 

[vinc3nc]

Look around to see where everybody is heading, and then go the other way.

[Matt23]

What's most meaningful to you personally?  Rather than even values and things Leo or others say you "should" want, or even seems good, look within yourself and feel what's most meaningful to you.  I fell into this trap of looking at Leo's content and the things he suggests people should want and pursue, but I didn't look within myself to figure out what I really wanted for myself, uniquely.  I was just parroting an ideology of values.  I'm not even saying I don't somewhere deep down want some things he states, but that it's a much more powerful and motivating thing to introspect within oneself and discover a genuine value since it will be connected with genuine feeling, and feelings are what move you.  It will be unique for you.  I've even had it where Leo has said a value to pursue, and it's been just like an intellectual idea, but then I've come across it within myself genuinely and it's felt sooo much more different (maybe because it's slightly more customized for myself).  Though his suggestion did create some feeling and I think some suggestion and to where to look within myself (it still felt maybe kinda forced, like it wasn't coming from within me but was external).  I guess the lesson was:   even if a value coming from externally to you is the same or similar to a value you hold within yourself, it won't pack as big of a motivating and emotional punch as discovering that same or similar value within yourself. 

[integral]

20 hours ago, IAmPaulQuinn said:

2.) One thing that motivates me to follow society's definition of 'success' is acquiring girls and having sex. Funnily enough, I want to know if this is a trap and should I just be me and just find that one simple girl who likes me for who I am?

Your looking for independence, perfectly content single and loving life. 

[Brandon Nankivell]

The fact that you're on this forum at age 17 tells me you're off to a great start to figuring shit out.

I was 17 eight years ago with similar questions.

Time is on your side right now.

Do stuff. Reflect. Do other stuff. Reflect.

Direct experience is the grand-goddess of figuring this all out.

You'll get a plethora of suggestions of what area of your life to focus on and what to do regarding the girl stuff.

My two cents is listen to your inner voice. If you don't know what that is, just keep at the self-improvement / self-actualization stuff.

For me, getting my finances and financial confidence sorted via business early in my twenties has been tremendously awesome, although I've neglected intimacy which has come back to bite me recently, so now I'm addressing that.

Any time you feel 'off', bad, or sick, is nature's way of telling you that you need to 'correct' something. Identifying what that something is, is 95% of the work done.

So get busy meditating, journaling, posting stuff on forums, reading, having sex, travelling etc!

Follow that inner voice!

Edited April 10, 2021 by Brandon Nankivell

[Ero]

On 07/04/2021 at 2:21 AM, IAmPaulQuinn said:

 

 

I'm so curious about the difference between true success and false success.

 

This video was eye-opening, but I need more information to really believe it.

 

I'm 17 years old right now. I want to know the TRUE PATH that will lead me to fulfillment. Please, give me more information, this video was not enough.

 

Questions:

1.) What areas on life should I focus on to be fulfilled and die with a smile on my face? (Ex: Financial security, Family, Passion?, etc.)

2.) One thing that motivates me to follow society's definition of 'success' is acquiring girls and having sex. Funnily enough, I want to know if this is a trap and should I just be me and just find that one simple girl who likes me for who I am?

 

Thank you.

 

 

 

Hey. I am an 18-year-old in a similar situation to yours. I wrote a post in this section concerning my experience in figuring things out. For starters, it's best to discard the notion of one "True Path". You are a distinctly different person with your own interests, passions and life situation. I would advise you to start figuring out what you want out of life. This comes from experiencing many different things and seeing what you resonate with. As younger people, we have to start setting the foundation for our life to come. Check @Leo Gura's videos titled "Advice for young people" part 1 and 2.They are greatly illuminating and I think you will take a lot from them.