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  1. Hey to all. So, over the last 2 months I have observed a deeper sense of confidence and inner stability/certainty manifest. Some of my most long-standing dreams got actualized. And I should say it was almost like an antidote to some of my strongest insecurities and fears of inadequacy. Due to things happening I have kinda received nationally a lot of attention as well. The tricky part comes here. I have come to know and become acquainted with some of the most influential and "successful" people in my country. Yet the more I meet and speak with them and the more I observe, the deeper this certainty grows. They are for sure capable and intelligent people, yet for some reason I cannot shake off the feeling that I can do so much more in terms of scale, but also impact. It's not a feeling of superiority per say, because it is not yet actualized, but rather a deep confidence and vision that I can be levels above. Like I don't have a trace of any doubt that I am going to develop into something truly magnificent. This doesn't point to material success, even though I know that would happen, but rather in terms of emotional and cognitive development. There was a programmed sense of guilt about knowing I am different that I felt before, but over the last year and half I resolved that as I was working towards my vision. So I am not feeling that. I am rather asking because I lack context of this specific development. It's not arrogance, because I truly know what it took and I am empathetic to others. In fact it's like with this development I have become more open, social and in emotionally responsive to others around me. But I just have not read nor come across something similar, so I am just asking for some perspective. It would be greatly appreciated.
  2. @melodydanielluna If I go off the title, the balance is really nuanced and you build it dynamically with experience. You are uniquely different, so there's no formula. It's evident you can't only break your back working, cause you'll burn out and live life without any enjoyment and if you only relax, you'll never be fulfilled. When, how exactly, what frequency and so on - that's for you to figure out. There's no inherently bad way to relax, you just have to be brutally honest with yourself whether you are doing this in the healthy manner or not. And from you asking the question, I'm pretty sure you are not aware. I myself was playing a lot of games a few years back. I stopped them altogether. For this stage of your life, it's best to redirect that energy for more constructive relaxation practices. But of course I can be wrong. That's why it's always about where exactly you are at.
  3. @StarStruck That's gonna happen a lot. Women are just flakey until they get attached. Just move on. Analyse where maybe you weren't on point with your game, improve and move on. There could be a thousand different reasons, some of which may not even concern you. So don't overthink it.
  4. @AlwaysJoggin What @Preety_India is pointing to is worth considering about your attitude. When a man is needy and sexually frustrated his perspective is greatly distorted. She's right about your framing and wording. At some point when you wish to have a worthwhile GF, she wouldn't tolerate this attitude. But for you to reach this point you have to build yourself up and learn how to attract girls. For that what @Leo Gura refers to is the most effective way of building yourself up. But first drop all of this bitter rhetoric, because that is only slowing you down. And that is coming from someone who had immense frustration with women and feelings of incompetence.Believe me, I had the same exact story like yours at the beginning of 2020. What you were espousing is literally cancer for your development as a man. So it's best to stop victimising yourself and take ownership. You shouldn't feel like that she owes you, because that's just not true. If you want badass women to be attracted, you gotta be worth it. And that's not gonna happen if you get stuck in this debate.
  5. It definitely takes time. There is a reason you have buried those those things in your psyche. Exposing yourself to them at once will break and traumatise you. That said, the more consistent you are, the more momentum you build over time. In the beginning everything is fuzzy, confusing and overwhelming. But if you keep on, you'll eventually push through.
  6. I had a similar disillusionment. But the fact is, finding your vision is not going to magically make you a disciplined and without resistance. In fact, even the opposite. So you are on the right path. You have to work up gradually. Keep reminding yourself your vision, start breaking it down in intermediate steps, and start acting. Make things digestible. Otherwise it will be overwhelming and that's when the greatest resistance comes. You have to start acting, because you are frozen from overthinking. That's the only way out of procrastination.
  7. I appreciate very much the support. Same goes to you while figuring things out I understand. In my case the money I have came from merit scholarships for accomplishments, work from funded projects where there are operational costs, and some of the work I do as an intern for my mentor. It's way less than what I would make than if I worked, but in my case all my time had to be strategically directed for uni prep and exams. This is not sustainable long-term, because I eventually would run out, so it was a risk I had to take. But I am grateful things worked out - I would have to leave the apartment right around when I have to leave for the US. Your situation is probably distinctly different, so I don't know if this would help you, but what I would advise is to plan it strategically. Look for opportunities that would suit you and what you want to achieve in the long-term. You may live in a city where the rents are ridiculous, so that is something you also have to take into account. I am certain you can work things out. This is not good financial advice in my opinion. The bank loans you are referring to are the fastest way to chain yourself to wage slavery. I've set a rule for myself to not take out loans under any circumstances. As for looking at ways to make money on Google - this assumes there is a one-template solution which of course in our world is not the case.
  8. Hey. I am an 18-year-old in a similar situation to yours. I wrote a post in this section concerning my experience in figuring things out. For starters, it's best to discard the notion of one "True Path". You are a distinctly different person with your own interests, passions and life situation. I would advise you to start figuring out what you want out of life. This comes from experiencing many different things and seeing what you resonate with. As younger people, we have to start setting the foundation for our life to come. Check @Leo Gura's videos titled "Advice for young people" part 1 and 2.They are greatly illuminating and I think you will take a lot from them.
  9. IME you should do whatever feels right for you. In my case despite going all in, I suffered a lot because of unaddressed issues within my psyche and environment. So it meant I have to sort out that first. You may be different. One thing @Leo Gura has mentioned is on the issue of ambition - I know for sure fact that the hermit lifestyle isn't for me, because I would be miserable. I previously haven't had a problem with sharing my background on the forum, but I have given information on this post that could make it trace back to me and I prefer to evade this for now. I rented a small apartment. It was relatively inexpensive, because it's in a neighbourhood at the end of my city. I am affording it through scholarships and different work I have done. Thank you for your words.
  10. Greetings to all of you. It was one year ago that I decided to finally drop all of the mental games and dive head first. To give you some context - I am an 18 year old, living in one of the most underdeveloped countries in Europe (and also in a really toxic family environment - Stage Red/Blue). Without going into much detail, there was serious ultra-conservative ideological pressure and many, many limitations. It became clear to me that I cannot develop myself without first addressing this fundamental issue of my environment that would keep stunting my growth. You see, I very much liked to think that I was spiritually gifted - I was a meticulous meditator and yoga practitioner. Whether through meditation, inquiry or psychedelics I had many realizations and states of consciousness of Love, Infinity and Oneness. But however developed I thought myself to be there were recurrent neurotic patterns, backsliding and frustration. It culminated with a series of trips all of which were clear in their message- "come back with focus". However painful at first, I accepted that unless I address these more pragmatic issues of my environment, I wouldn't be able to develop myself. I wanted to somehow feel "talented" and "gifted" by skipping those early developmental stages. Of course, in the long-term this would actually have been an extremely immature and unconscious decision missing the fundamental systemic nature of our lives. I cannot possibly describe all the things that changed over the last year, so I will list only the most impactful: 1) I sought out a mentor - an American businessman and educational activist who had a project at our school. (Stage Orange/ Green). He became a crucial pillar in my development by counteracting the impairing influence of my family. 2) I moved out from my parents' apartment and have been living independently for 7 months now. 3) Where previously I would struggle with relationships, I really got determined and eventually set this part of my life in motion. Over the last year I met many new friends and romantic partners that led to really valuable experiences and lessons learned. 4) I got my shit together and decided to do everything I could to study abroad. The only way for me to really charge my growth was to change my environment. You see, I am very aware of the systemic limitations and ideological framework of a university, but you have to understand that this really is the only option for someone of my background. So after almost a year of gruesome hard work (and many more prior) I am the only one from my country that got accepted at Harvard this year. 5) I started clearing up my life purpose through having many different experiences - conducting scientific research, working on NGOs and businesses. I became aware that I have a distinctly different path than any standardized path could give me, so I have to put in the extra time to figure it out and make it work. There were so many lessons and realizations, but since I chose this to be addressed to other people in my situation, these are a few things I would have told my myself one year ago: 1) Sorting out your problems on a pragmatic level is not in any way less spiritual - in fact you really have no other option if you want to be as conscious and as developed as possible. Otherwise those problems will haunt you as your shadow, manifesting in toxic habits, dissatisfactions and even health issues. 2) Have as many and as diverse new experiences as you can. One of the most important lessons for gaining clarity is to experience life as much as possible - meet new people, try out things that interest you, go to different places, read different books. This would not only boost your creativity and general satisfaction, but also give you a clear sense of what you want out of life. 3) Set clear boundaries for yourself of what you accept as friends, partners and acquaintances. This is the only way to start elevating from your toxic environment and relationships. Your satisfaction and fulfilment should be a priority, otherwise you will build up resentment. 4) Focus on you. Stop debating, conversing or trying to change anyone's opinion or view of things. If you cannot cut the toxic people off, at least minimize as much your confrontations as possible (for example I stopped debating or talking about anything with my family that I knew would lead to ideological conflicts) 5) Your environment is an extension of you. Be deeply aware of how it influences you and your development and constantly strive to improve it. 6) You should work on all aspects of your life systemically. There would be times for more focused work on a certain area/project, but in general you don't want to leave a part of your life unaddressed. I of course had many visions and spiritual realizations, the results of countless hours of contemplation, but I decided to make this post as pragmatic as possible. I hope this helps anyone who finds himself in a similar situation.
  11. @ivankiss Several users are pointing to you that there is more to be seen. As they have made it explicit, they are not contradicting your perspective, only trying to expand it. Why are you going on, trying to dispute them and tell them that they are wrong? What for? To someone who has experienced the other side - the "illusory nature of time", it is clear that you have attached to the "real" side of the paradox, claiming that it is not "illusory". In your original post, you point to an important dynamic of shielding behind "it's illusory" as a way to not further one's exploration. Yet you are doing the same with "No, I am talking about THE REAL thing". That paradox/ duality is not resolved by going to either side aka "It's real, I'm telling you" or "It's illusory". You have the opportunity to transcend the need to label things with real and illusory, to substitute it with exploration. Because if at any moment you believe "That's it", you are in a paradigm lock. It's perfectly fine, yet if you "have always felt like there's much more depth to everything", don't use "real" as a "ticket for escaping what is". As I am making an observation of the dynamics I observe in you responses, I am not interested in having a discussion about the content of your realisation. Do whatever you want with the information, this I am using as an exemplary observation for those who want to grow beyond the duality of "real" and "illusory".
  12. At the end of the video he said he does.
  13. @Swagala Painful at first, there ain't really a way around it. I also had a period of arrogance as to my understanding, in the process of which I was neglecting very real things in my life I needed to work on. Think it like this - you either refuse to accept it and never learn what it really is about, or humble yourself and start anew. Believe me, after the painful process has passed (that is the exemplary fact that you are growing), what you will experience will be 1000 times more worth it. To give you a heads up, that's how purification works - shedding beliefs and ignorance is a painful process. But ask yourself - do you really want to stay ignorant or are you willing to pay the price? That is what it boils down to.
  14. @sausagehead There are various forms of meditation, all dependant on technique, focus and experience of the individual. As well, there's a great amount of variety in the depth and extent, to which one is "present". You just have no idea to what extent you can be conscious. It's not a binary "present/ not present" . What you can observe by making lifestyle changes, by removing certain toxic habits, improving diet, sleep and so on is that naturally you will become "more" present. I advise you to start develop a more sophisticated understanding of how one accesses such meditation states, what is their meaning and so on. Simply asking won't cut it.
  15. @legendary That was something that came to me as a realisation at a certain point. Should really billionaires exist, or are they a consequence of unregulated capitalism? A feature of it? What one can observe is that part of the ideological mechanisms that protect that system include the justification of billionaires. One that resonates with the idea of becoming a billionaire, is ideologically part of that system. I myself had such aspirations until I outgrew them to a far deeper sense of purpose. One in which as long in I'm in a place of abundance, rather than scarcity (something that should be available to every human being), I wouldn't care at all about all that luxury - it's appearance without substance. A serious redistribution needs to occur - and yes, it will be threatening to billionaires. But the amount of creativity and human potential that will be released from such a change, will be enormous - nothing we have ever seen up to date. Rather than thinking it from the justification paradigm, where to the ego seems like taking, think of it through the collective paradigm - giving to all those in scarcity through the so much discussed social politics. I'm not about socialism. But it's just laughable to see the justifications for progress and creativity from unregulated capitalism - this is one of the most ineffective systems in driving the human race.