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Girls... who have you felt understands you the best?

190 posts in this topic

2 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Then why this stupid expectation that women should understand pickup when in their view it's not a deep bonding experience.

I don't expect women to understand pickup.

It's an incorrect view that pickup cannot lead to deep bonding experiences. All pickup does is increase your odds of getting laid. Where that goes from there is up to you. You can use it to get married or whatever.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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1 minute ago, Leo Gura said:

It's an incorrect view that pickup cannot lead to deep bonding experiences

But that's your POV and you're a man. But that's not my POV and I'm a woman. 

You'll obviously say what feels convenient to you because you experienced it. 

Yet I didn't experience it the same way you did so my opinion or view is going to be different and why you should decide whether it's incorrect or not. 

 

 


Create your own life system. 

Preety preety

And then my dear, you can take a bath in suds. 

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Go straight to understanding the law of attraction and you'll understand sexual attraction and a whole lot more. The need to be understood and the need to understand is an interesting conundrum. 

Understand, Know, Know as in the Biblical sense. xD It all follows. 


My Youtube Channel- Light on Earth “We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the Secret sits in the middle and knows.”― Robert Frost

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2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

I have used pickup to create deep bonding experiences. Of course not everything is a deep bonding experience, nor should it be.

I guess I would be a bit surprised if there was a genuine deep bonding there. I know I couldn't really open up to a man in that head-space, as it would feel emotionally unsafe and frustrating because he wouldn't be able to see me as a person beyond his own agenda. 

So, don't be surprised when you get overlooked by someone you could potentially have had deep intimacy with. I say this because I have seen you express a desire for that. And your viewpoint might lead to you shooting yourself in the foot on this motivation because of the perspectives you hold on female sexuality.

Men who get into pick-up and adopt that worldview give off a particular energy that is easy to pick up on intuitively. There is usually a vulnerability underneath that and a hardness/harshness that is developed after going through pick-up. 

And it is a difficult energy to be around, as it's very armored. And it is particularly difficult to really open up to someone with that energy.


Click here to watch my Free 60-Minute Shadow Integration Masterclass!

The masterclass includes all the foundational information you need for beginning a Shadow Work practice. DM me if you have any questions and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

 

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5 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

But that's your POV and you're a man. But that's not my POV and I'm a woman. 

You'll obviously say what feels convenient to you because you experienced it. 

Yet I didn't experience it the same way you did so my opinion or view is going to be different and why you should decide whether it's incorrect or not.

So what is your proposal? That men don't train to get better with women?


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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@Emerald Good pick up= Development of charisma, confidence, humor, independence, strength etc

Charisma, confidence, humor, independence, strength etc = The equivalent of perfectly sized tits and ass in terms of attractiveness for a guy.

Maybe this is a more simple to understand language for you girls

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7 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I guess I would be a bit surprised if there was a genuine deep bonding there. I know I couldn't really open up to a man in that head-space, as it would feel emotionally unsafe and frustrating because he wouldn't be able to see me as a person beyond his own agenda. 

"That headspace" << See, you got some negative view of pickup as some fakery.

You're framing this as though pickup teaches men to be dogs. But the reality is that most men are dogs whether they learn pickup or not. Pickup doesn't put the dog in the man. His genetics do that.

The whole point of being good with women is that you make them feel more intimate and safe then untrained guys. The reason PUAs get laid so much more is because they make women feel more intimacy and deeper intimacy than otherwise. Intimacy is something that a guy can learn to create quickly.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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Just now, Leo Gura said:

So what is your proposal? That men don't train to get better with women?

Do what you want. If that is what helps you then do that. But if a woman says she doesn't find a deep bonding experience in this pickup culture, please don't deny her view. 

Learn to embrace how women look at dating just as you would want women to understand how men look at it. 

And if you don't want to embrace, leave it be, but don't deny how a woman sees it. 

 


Create your own life system. 

Preety preety

And then my dear, you can take a bath in suds. 

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@Leo Gura

Leave them dude, they are so disillusional , unconscious  and in denial about what they want that it is a waste of time to explain it to them. Their advice caused me a lot of suffering and so has to many more guys.

They can complain all they want, most of them have fallen hard for a player kind of guy in their lives and now are butt hurt about it and in denial.

Edited by ColeMC01

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2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

So what is your proposal? That men don't train to get better with women?

The problem probably lies in differences in the definition and the measurement of "better with women."


My Youtube Channel- Light on Earth “We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the Secret sits in the middle and knows.”― Robert Frost

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Just now, ColeMC01 said:

@Emerald Good pick up= Development of charisma, confidence, humor, independence, strength etc

Charisma, confidence, humor, independence, strength etc = The equivalent of perfectly sized tits and ass in terms of attractiveness for a guy.

Maybe this is a more simple to understand language for you girls

I do understand the idea. But this frames female sexuality in the same framework as male sexuality, when female sexuality is very different.

Therein lies the problem with pick-up as a perspective, it projects the rules of male sexuality onto female sexuality. And this creates a distorted view of female sexuality that is workable... but not rooted in truth.


Click here to watch my Free 60-Minute Shadow Integration Masterclass!

The masterclass includes all the foundational information you need for beginning a Shadow Work practice. DM me if you have any questions and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

 

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I feel that whenever girls hear about pickup, they assume it’s just  this asshole guy whose agenda is just to bang a lot of women. In reality, often it is just regular guys who don’t have any experience with women and just want to get a girlfriend. I’ve seen guys like that at work, they are extremely shy and some basic pickup may be life changing for them. I feel bad for them, often they are really sweet guys, I think it is especially a problem in North America - I think it is because of the way high school is structured and they end up not having enough close exposure to women. Often they just end up with that one girl long term or it’s one of the next few girls they end up with.

I feel it would help a lot if the word “pickup” would get replaced by some other word. I feel the word “pickup” is triggering. 

Edited by Khr

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1 minute ago, Leo Gura said:

"That headspace" << See, you got some negative view of pickup as some fakery.

You're framing this as though pickup teaches men to be dogs. But the reality is that most men are dogs whether they learn pickup or not.

That's not what I'm saying. I'm also talking about the drive towards becoming confident, charismatic, etc.

If a man feels like, "I have to have x,y,z qualities to attract women", then he will often write over his natural qualities in favor of whatever 'x,y,z' qualities are.

This is what i meant. You can pick up on this energy of men wearing an armor where they try to embody qualities that aren't necessarily a natural expression of their core personality. But because they feel like they need these techniques to be attractive to women, they hide themselves away underneath an armor of masculine virtue.

You can really pick up on the intuitive 'scent' of this quality. You have it too.


Click here to watch my Free 60-Minute Shadow Integration Masterclass!

The masterclass includes all the foundational information you need for beginning a Shadow Work practice. DM me if you have any questions and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

 

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@Emerald LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL. Nothing in dating has NOTHING to do with truth. It is ALL selfish shit based on survival.

Also when you say that guys should not do pick up if they suck with girls is the equivalent of a guy telling a girl not put on make up or do surgery if her face is unattractive. It is pure bullshit. Those same guys would be willing to sleep with that girl 10 times more if she did surgery just like girls would be willing to sleep with a shy nerd 10 times more if he grows from pick up the traits i mentioned above.

A better way to complain about pick up should be: Do it in a more holistic way where you take into account somewhat the female agenda, do not sleep and date girls in relationships and have some basic respect for women. But saying not to do pick up is plain stupid.

No one wants to live in a world where some angry incel that is frustrated with the world because he cannot get laid shoots the mall where you go on the weekends. 

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7 minutes ago, Emerald said:

If a man feels like, "I have to have x,y,z qualities to attract women", then he will often write over his natural qualities in favor of whatever 'x,y,z' qualities are.

This is what i meant. You can pick up on this energy of men wearing an armor where they try to embody qualities that aren't necessarily a natural expression of their core personality. But because they feel like they need these techniques to be attractive to women, they hide themselves away underneath an armor of masculine virtue.

You can really pick up on the intuitive 'scent' of this quality. You have it too.

It's sort of like you're saying, don't practice piano because you're not perfect and natural at it.

Guys need a mechanism for getting better with women. Pickup is that mechanism. You can criticize it, but then you need to invent a better mechanism that actually works for guys.

The problem is that what women think will work for guys -- does not work! It's like telling a lion to eat tofu. Sounds nice in theory but doesn't work in practice because he's a lion.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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1 minute ago, ColeMC01 said:

@Emerald LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL. Nothing in dating has NOTHING to do with truth. It is ALL selfish shit based on survival.

Also when you say that guys should not do pick up if they suck with girls is the equivalent of a guy telling a girl not put on make up or do surgery if her face is unattractive. It is pure bullshit. Those same guys would be willing to sleep with that girl 10 times more if she did surgery just like girls would be willing to sleep with a shy nerd 10 times more if he grows from pick up the traits i mentioned above.

A better way to complain about pick up should be: Do it in a more holistic way where you take into account somewhat the female agenda, do not sleep and date girls in relationships and have some basic respect for women. But saying not to do pick up is plain stupid.

No one wants to live in a world where some angry incel that is frustrated with the world because he cannot get laid shoots the mall where you go on the weekends. 

I didn't say that men shouldn't do pick up. That's a strawman. I would probably do some pick up if I were a man. 

I merely said that pick-up only works on a percentage of the the female population and that it's not universal.

But my deeper point is that the way that pick up presents female sexuality is a distortion... a workable distortion that can help men get laid. But it is still a distortion and should not be confused for accuracy. And this distortion gets in the way of deeper bonding experiences between men and women.

 


Click here to watch my Free 60-Minute Shadow Integration Masterclass!

The masterclass includes all the foundational information you need for beginning a Shadow Work practice. DM me if you have any questions and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

 

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@Emerald There are different kinds of the traits based on the person.

Some people have chill relaxed confidence, some people have very in your face vibrant confidence, some people have straight up arrogance.

Some people like dark humor, some intellectual humor, some pop culture humor etc

Some people are independent because they have a lot of people in their life so they are not clingy about an individual person, some people are independent because they love their job/career, some people are independent because they are introverts who love their own company more than anything.

Some people are assertive to get something they want, some people are assertive when you cross their boundaries, some people are assertive because they enjoy the feeling of power than comes from it.

Some people are sexual from the start, some flirt a bit before becoming sexual, some are more random about it.

So there is a lot of personal customization regarding the traits Leo mentioned that will depend on the person. Compare James Bond with Tyler Durden from Fight Club with Stiflerfrom american pie . VERY DIFFERENT people but they all have the pick up "qualities" for the most part.

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9 minutes ago, Khr said:

I feel that whenever girls hear about pickup, they assume it’s this asshole guy who is just doing it to bang a lot of women. In reality, often it is just regular guys who don’t have any experience with women and just want to get a girlfriend. I’ve seen guys like that at work, they are extremely shy and some basic pickup may be life changing for them. I feel bad for them, often they are really sweet guys, I think it is especially a problem in North America. Often they just end up with that one girl long term or it’s one of the next few girls they end up with.

I feel it would help a lot if the word “pickup” would get replaced by some other word. I feel the word “pickup” is triggering. 

Yes I agree, to the point where I wish my first bf had learnt it... (might sound nonsensical without the details haha)

 

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