5g Magic Mushroom Trip Report with Lemon Tek - (I am an Imagination of Nothing)

[Muhammad Jawad]

That is the 4th Psychedelic Trip of my life.

 

1st Trip - 1g Shrooms

2nd Trip - 2g Shrooms

3rd trip - 3g Shrooms

 

4th Trip - 5g Shrooms 

 

I took 5-gram Magic Mushrooms with Lemon Tek with Ginger Tea & Dark Chocolate at 11:30 pm by 09/01/2021 Saturday Alone in Silent Darkness.

 

And started Meditation. I was confident. There was No Fear. Fully conscious and aware and ready to confront my ego’s death.

 

I settled my intention to know my Ultimate Self Deeply & Completely. I was trying to be. I was declining all those things which were not me. Like sensations, sounds, breath, thoughts, etc.

 

My consciousness started to expand in 15 to 20 minutes. And as soon as shrooms hit me (According to me my wife, Electricity in my whole country went off at 11:50 pm.)

 

 I think visuals and entities started to manifest but I do not remember those because my main intention was not visuals but to know my real self.

 

During the Trip, I was offered 2 options and I had to choose 1 of them:

 

Infinite Visuals, Worlds, Universes, Colors, Entertainment, Fares, Entities, Tunnels, Infinite Possibilities. Infinite Joy.

 

Go Deeper to know my real self.

 

I chose the 2nd option Because I knew that I have my whole life to enjoy infinite possibilities.

 

But to do the ultimate thing in this life to know yourself which will lead me to Know God And Understanding God Will answer my all existential questions.

 

Now I was diving into the tunnel of my real self deeply like a rocket into the dark space and my ego was throwing a different kind of distractions toward me so I can not reach the source because ego knew that it will lead to Ego Death.

 

Ego was trying to give me wrong answers like You are these sensations, you are that, you are that and I was breaking all asteroids, distractions by denying and saying that I am not that, I am not that, I am the one who is trying to find myself.

 

Then I realized that seeking is the problem. I can not find myself till I am seeking. Who am I seeking? I am already as it is.

 

Then I became Nothingness, I became what I am, I became Love, I became creator, I became Expression of love. Then I started getting answers to all of my existential questions.

 

The answer to each existential question was leading to Pure Bliss and happiness and laughter.

 

I was in an un-describe-able blissful state getting answers to all of my questions. I know that I experienced many many other positive things as well but I do not remember them now clearly and completely.

 

I wanted to express my feelings, I wanted to write a lot of things I wanted to share my every insight.

 

I wanted to talk to someone. Everything was going amazingly.

 

I understood a lot of things and got answers to a lot of questions.

 

I understood that I just am, I am Transparent Love, I am Peace, everything else like (thoughts, sensations, Existence, etc is just expressions of my infinity, Love, Creativity).

 

There is transparent Nothingness which have not any properties than the 1st thing that nothingness becomes conscious of itself and recognize itself as pure bliss, peace, infinity, and love and then enjoy itself through the expression of its infinite creative love.

 

Jawad and its world is just 1 possibility from his infinite possibilities.

 

Nothingness became Consciousness and in that consciousness, nothingness expresses its infinite love which results in infinite creations, and then nothingness becomes a person like me so It can praise that infinite love, talk about it, enjoy it and spread love among others, help others, make others life easy, to listen to others, I am here to love. I am acceptance of someone’s Pray. This is how God Fulfill your prayers & wishes.

 

God made Everything around you to make your life better. Because he loves you. Everything is perfect.

 

Consciousness is evolving all the time. There is no Joy in selfishness, Joy is hidden in living for others.

 

Selfishness leads toward selfish desires which are the cause of all kinds of suffering.

 

Then I don’t know when my consciousness expanded at the level where I was able to manifest any version of my life at will. It was like I was writing my own destiny. It was like I am not just writing my infinite destinies but I was living those lives as well.

 

There were infinite versions of my life. And at that stage, I was living infinite versions of my life at the same time.

 

I experienced centuries, I experienced that I am Hearing prayers of everyone.

 

Then I was at a level where I knew that I have infinite power and I can create or manifest anything. In fact, At that stage, my thoughts were not just thoughts. My every thought was manifesting into reality. Whatever I was thinking was becoming a physical reality.

 

So When I realized that I have infinite Power and I was going through experiencing infinite possibilities at light speed. So I thought Let’s manifest a life where I have the best version of my life, so I stopped into nothingness and manifested the best life of my choice. There was not a process of manifestation. I just decided and there I was in that life. And in that life, Jawad had infinite powers of God and could see with the eyes or perspective of God.

 

And in that life that God’s Infinite power became a problem. The worst problem. I was totally awake to that truth that I am still alone, Nothingness and I am just Imagining everything.

 

I got a bit panicked said no no no I don’t want to be alone I want to be with others like I was before. I tried many times and I was able to manifest any kind of life but I was not forgetting the fact that I am God and everything else is just my Imagination. And that Infinite superpower became my curse and I went into Panic, Shock, I wanted to forget that I am God and wanted to live a human life but that became impossible for me.

 

Let me give you an example of how it felt like with the following example:

 

Right now where ever you are and whatever you are experiencing right now is seems totally vivid and real, physical to you and everything else like nothingness, God, Infinity, etc.. is just your thought, imagination, and concept. Now think about how it would feel like if it’s the opposite of that?

 

At that stage, my Infinity was the most vivid and physical thing and everything else was like my imagination. And I wanted the opposite of that, I wanted to get rid of my infinite powers but that was not possible because, in Reality, It is me and my real self. I can not get rid of my real self.     

 

My Thoughts were becoming reality. My (Ego’s) Fears, Insecurities, desires, craving, and aversion started to come to the surface. Negative thoughts started to appear.

 

That was not the right time for negative thoughts because it was the time when each thought was manifesting into reality. I started to suffer due to my own desires.

 

At that stage I got the answer to the following question:

 

Q: Why God would like to forget himself while living this life?

 

A: If you are a Jawad slave of your own, fears, desires, attachments, and insecurities then you can not Handel the fact that you are alone, you are the only one there is nothing else, there is nowhere to go.

 

You are nothing and everything else is just your thought. If you are a pour Ego who is attached to the world then you can not handle that fact and you can become mad.

 

So when we come to this world we need to free ourselves from our own attachments, fears, and desires and adopt the power of acceptance, gratitude, detachment then we can handle our own true Power of infinite Love.

 

Due to my own Fears, Attachments, Desires, I couldn’t handle my own true infinite Power and started to get panic.

 

So my every thought was manifesting into reality and I started to think negatively in a panic my negative thoughts started to manifest into reality which again pushing me into more panic.

 

Suddenly I started to live the life of a blind man. I saw that due to any side effect of shrooms I have lost my sight now I can not see anymore. My trip is finished, every member of my family is around me, I am crying, sad, Facing a lot of regrets that why I took this substance now I am blind. I experienced the pain of blind people. Then I lived that whole life without vision and with regret and pain. It triggered again a big attack of panic and that whole life again dissolved and I was back into infinity felt like I am trapped in an infinite void. 

 

Then Suddenly I started to live the life of a mad man. I saw that I am gone mad due to psychedelics, Now I am mad + Blind. I don’t know any language, I am in Panic, Crying, regretting, Then My whole family is around me, talking about me, They called the doctor and declared me psychologically ill and took me to Hospital of mad People and gave me electric shocks. Then I spent my whole life like this. Unconsciously I was saying no no no no What I have done. Shit Shit. I was saying I want my normal life back please God Please help me. And It triggered again a big attack of panic and that whole life again dissolved and I was back into infinity felt like I am trapped in an infinite void.

 

Then Suddenly I saw that I am physically dead, my whole family is around me, they are crying, sad, talking about me that Jawad was in these things all the time, We always told him not to get into these things but He never heard us. They arranged my funeral, they dropped me into the grave, etc 

 

Then again I was back in consciousness, It was dark, I was alone, I had nothing, not even my body I was really sad, I was crying, I was saying I should have not done this. What I have done, No, No No, Please Please Please. I wanted to come back to reality.

 

After a lot of struggle to go back to normal life, after a lot of psychological suffering, I tired and with ultimate sadness, I decided to surrender and accept the reality that I am dead.

 

And thought lets, go back to the death, to nothingness, to forgetfulness, to deep sleep.

 

And then I got dead, I went into a deep sleep and there was one more thing that was scarier than all above things there I realized that I can not sleep, I can not die, I can not lose my awareness, my consciousness because I am God. And God can not die, He never sleeps.

 

I realized that I have to accept the fact that now I have to remain alone as transparent consciousness forever.

 

That thought made me mad again and I started to live Madly again in Darkness. And I had the power to manifest the normal life again and I did it many times but even after getting the normal life back I was not losing the vision or perspective of God in which I was able to live the normal life but with my Infinite vision, I was able to see that I am still alone and I am just imagining all of this. And that was not making me calm and happy.

 

In the end, after trying for many centuries I thought let’s Imagine the normal same life again and start to live that imagination and just keep trying to forget and fade out your Infinite Vision and try to make your imagination as vivid as possible.

 

So 1st of all I manifested rays of light, then I manifested a few objects illumined with that light, then I manifested the feeling of changing my direction, my location, then I manifested the face of my wife appeared from that Light like God have come to me help me in face of my wife.

 

She smiled and said are you Ok? Are you fine? Do you want to come outside of the room? I said Yes, I am fine and would like to come outside.

 

I was trying to act normal and at that time My infinite nothingness vision was more vivid than this imaginative world. There I started to find a way to get out of nothingness to the world of imagination. The more I was focusing on the objects of the Imagination world the more the imagination world was coming into life and vivid.

 

I came out of the room there was nothing other than my wife so through my imagination I manifested outside of my room. She brought me into the Lounge and gave me a chair to sit.

 

Now my world of imagination was coming and going and I was really afraid of losing that imagination world again. So I was trying to focus as much as possible on my imagination of this physical world to keep it more vivid and real.

 

I asked my wife to keep talking to me so I can stay here. Then I realized that I have forgotten to manifest my Body so through the power of Imagination I manifested my Body and I was looking at my Body and other things like I have come back here after centuries.

 

Now with the passing of time, I started to feel that now this Imagination world getting more vivid and my real self which is infinite is fading out. My infinite powers started to fade out with time.

 

And then in the last phase of this trip, I was overwhelmed with Love. The answer to Each of the questions of my wife was “Love”.

 

I learned that Infinite Love is so powerful and deep that you can not handle it if you have fears, attachments, desires, insecurities, Negativities in your Ego’s Subcoonciousn mind.

 

That is why we 1st need to purify ourselves before the actual physical death.

 

If you have purified yourself from all kinds of impurities before the physical death then that infinite love will become your infinite heaven forever or if you don’t purify yourself from your deepest impurities before physical death then you will not be able to handle your own infinite power of love and your own impurities will become your forever torment.   

 

Now I am Sober but I know I am sure that I am alone and I can never die and right now I am living an imagination.

 

And now my goal is to work on my impurities, get rid of them and bring gratitude, acceptance, detachment in my life so my Ego Or I can accept my death peacefully and live in the ocean of love eternally.

 

When I totally came back from my trip, the Electricity in my country also came back. The public, Media & Government of my country is still wondering why Electricity was gone.

[Nahm]

@Muhammad Jawad

Hey. Welcome home.

 

[Muhammad Jawad]

2 minutes ago, Nahm said:

Hey. Welcome home.

Thanks :-)

Now it feels like I didn't come back to this world instead this world came back to me.

[Nahm]

@Muhammad Jawad

☺️♥️

Thank “God”. 

[Adamq8]

Awesome report and very well written!

The Truth is very Hard aswell for the ego.

Well done!

[Muhammad Jawad]

19 minutes ago, Nahm said:

Thank “God”

As soon as I got the normal state. The 1st words coming out of my mouth was "Thank God" "Thank God". :-)

[zeroISinfinity]

23 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@Muhammad Jawad

☺️♥️

Thank “God”. 

Why God under ""? 

[Nahm]

@Muhammad Jawad

Iknowright! So Good! ♥️?☺️

@zeroISinfinity

...what for it....wait for it...

[Muhammad Jawad]

20 minutes ago, Adamq8 said:

Awesome report and very well written!

The Truth is very Hard aswell for the ego.

Well done!

Thanks a lot.

Yes, you are right.

Ego can not handle The Truth particularly selfish unpurified Ego because it's Ego's Death.

[zeroISinfinity]

6 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@Muhammad Jawad

Iknowright! So Good! ♥️?☺️

@zeroISinfinity

...what for it....wait for it...

Ok. Ok. 

[SoonHei]

@Muhammad Jawad salam meri jaan❤️?❤️

& Now you know - love is the answer. Purity. Purify and its your forever

Not dreading the aloneness but celebrating it ?❤️? to INFINITY & beyond

 

[Snader]

Fascinating and really well conceptualized trip report!

I wish you well with your purification work ?

[Muhammad Jawad]

1 minute ago, SoonHei said:

@Muhammad Jawad salam meri jaan❤️?❤️

& Now you know - love is the answer. Purity. Purify and its your forever

Not dreading the aloneness but celebrating it ?❤️? to INFINITY & beyond

 

Wasalaam Brother!

Yes, Love is the answer.

As an ego we need to love ourselves and others and purify our ego with love to confront with the ultimate Truth.  

 

[SoonHei]

1 minute ago, Muhammad Jawad said:

As an ego we need to love ourselves and others and purify our ego with love to confront with the ultimate Truth.  

1000000%

& The fact you're not saying this just as a rule or something to do but having faced and understood the direct realization of this ??? that's what makes it powerful.

Jannat apni hai mere dost and the journey starts NOW ❤️?

[Loving Radiance]

1 hour ago, Muhammad Jawad said:

I learned that Infinite Love is so powerful and deep that you can not handle it if you have fears, attachments, desires, insecurities, Negativities in your Ego’s Subcoonciousn mind.

That is why we 1st need to purify ourselves before the actual physical death.

If you have purified yourself from all kinds of impurities before the physical death then that infinite love will become your infinite heaven forever or if you don’t purify yourself from your deepest impurities before physical death then you will not be able to handle your own infinite power of love and your own impurities will become your forever torment.

"Christians nodding their heads in agreement."

 

Thank you ?

[Muhammad Jawad]

27 minutes ago, Snader said:

Fascinating and really well conceptualized trip report!

I wish you well with your purification work ?

Thanks a lot :-)

[Frenk]

As always a joy to read you trip reports. Nice work

[Muhammad Jawad]

20 minutes ago, Frenk said:

As always a joy to read you trip reports. Nice work

Thanks :-)

[Breakingthewall]

I had a similar experience in some respects. I only existed, without time or space, nothing happened. eternal and with no possibility of escape. There could be nothing worse and that's why I had to forget it. take several days is to forget that. just as you came to the conclusion that the problem was my ego, which rejected that loneliness. but I thought about that later. at the time of the experience there was no thought, only the awareness of eternal loneliness. But must be the ego, because, if nothing happens, how the desperation happened? It's an ego death, but not totally

Edited January 11, 2021 by Breakingthewall

[Breakingthewall]

3 hours ago, Muhammad Jawad said:

 

If you have purified yourself from all kinds of impurities before the physical death then that infinite love will become your infinite heaven forever or if you don’t purify yourself from your deepest impurities before physical death then you will not be able to handle your own infinite power of love and your own impurities will become your forever torment.   

Or maybe you start again. The dance of karma